Official State Religion Enters High Holy Days

Via The Babylon Bee

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U.S. — The official state religion of the United States entered its High Holy Days today, with worshippers around the nation being called to rededicate themselves in submission and obedience to its holy teachings.

“I am urging all Americans to publicly bend the knee before our sacred rainbow symbol,” said President Biden in an address to the nation. “Let us all take the time to pray and feast before our god of prideful human flesh, and before its sacred messengers, the genitals. We are a nation of Pride, blessings be upon its name. Just celebrate it, folks! Not a joke! Ok, can I have my snack now?”

Holy prophets in public schools, corporate DEI departments, and Target supermarkets have been dispatched across the land to bear witness to the glories of Pride and destroy the lives of those who refuse to publically worship the vengeful deity. “Blasphemy will not be tolerated,” said Divine Elder Mixie Vavoom, (they/them). “We are the eyes and ears of Pride, and we are watching you.”

The High Holy Days of Pride will conclude this weekend with 1000 abortions and 1000 gender surgeries performed publicly on the steps of the White House.

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26 Comments
Abigail Adams
Abigail Adams
June 12, 2023 8:02 pm

I thought the Bee was supposed to be satire.

AKJOHN
AKJOHN
  Abigail Adams
June 12, 2023 8:13 pm

Real humor always has an element of truth. That is what makes it so powerful.

Abigail Adams
Abigail Adams
  AKJOHN
June 12, 2023 8:20 pm

My comment was that powerful, John John?? Gee, thanks! 😎

Abigail Adams
Abigail Adams
  Abigail Adams
June 12, 2023 10:57 pm

Downvoter…I drew you a little picture. 🤭

comment image

Mountain Rat
Mountain Rat
  Abigail Adams
June 13, 2023 6:18 am

LOL. Good one.

Anonymous
Anonymous
  Abigail Adams
June 13, 2023 7:12 am

I agree LGBT+ is the new state religion.
LGBT+ is also the new belligerent nationalism in their Fascist policy. White hate is their new racist policy. Big tech is their capitalist economy subject to stringent governmental controls, and anyone not a flaming woke liberal is their victim of violent suppression.

A system of government marked by centralization of authority under a dictator, a capitalist economy subject to stringent governmental controls, violent suppression of the opposition, and typically a policy of belligerent nationalism and racism.

Anonymous
Anonymous
June 12, 2023 8:05 pm

Not flying flag properly. —– AKA – Nation In Distress

(c)No other flag or pennant should be placed above or, if on the same level, to the right of the flag of the United States of America

law.cornell.edu/uscode/text/4/7

Mountain Rat
Mountain Rat
  Anonymous
June 13, 2023 6:19 am

They shit all over the law on a continuous basis, you think they care about the Flag Code?

Euddie
Euddie
  Mountain Rat
June 13, 2023 10:46 am

Seems like everything IS about the Fag Code

Anonymous
Anonymous
  Mountain Rat
June 13, 2023 4:50 pm

comment image

Jim
Jim
June 12, 2023 8:07 pm

In honor of the high Holy Day, we should make a pilgrimage to Ba’al Mart.

I think it used to be called “Target” or something.

I don’t remember much except that it was very red inside…

Leah
Leah
June 12, 2023 8:55 pm

Won’t this make the Juneteenfers jealous? How wayciss. /s

ILuvCO2
ILuvCO2
June 12, 2023 9:12 pm

“I am urging all Americans to publicly bend the knee before our sacred rainbow symbol,”

He means bend over and take it up your sacred ass…

Anonymous
Anonymous
June 12, 2023 9:26 pm

Topless cross dressers at White House.
Union Jack flag thrown to ground as gay flag hoisted in London.

Some comment said they do this to make Hunters stunts seem ‘ normal ‘.
Hard to argue that

Obbledy
Obbledy
June 12, 2023 9:58 pm

No,it’s just JUNE …..

Obbledy
Obbledy
June 12, 2023 10:01 pm

It is an endorsement of a religion,make no mistake about it.
It goes by many names……

Anonymous
Anonymous
  Obbledy
June 13, 2023 12:05 am

Noachide religion?

Anonymous
Anonymous
June 12, 2023 10:34 pm

And then GOD will show up with a great deal of disapproval and resolve.

Aunt Acid
Aunt Acid
June 13, 2023 12:01 am

Humiliation and mockery of everything noble and worthwhile is the methodology that the Trotskyite Communists have perfected here in the USSA.

Auntie detests, hates and loathes them.

Anonymous
Anonymous
June 13, 2023 12:02 am

One of them needs to be a great big mogen david to be a real high holy day

B_MC
B_MC
June 13, 2023 6:15 am

comment image

TLate
TLate
June 13, 2023 9:11 am

A picture is worth a thousand words. The plan continues to be implemented. Do you see where this is headed? It is in the news every day. Why do you think all the corporations are supporting trans rights? They have been told that trans rights will be codified into law. Then voicing dissent against trans rights will be a crime. This is already happening California is going to pass a law to confiscate children from parents who do not support their child’s transitioning. Sure, it is a joke right now…..to us….only problem is the trans right activists are serious…dead serious. They would rather see Christians put in prison or dead than give up their agenda. Tony the Tiger was at the White house pride event. Let’s see who does Tony the Tiger appeal to??? hmmmm??? They do not care what you and I think about trans rights they are going for the younger generation. That is why it is taught in schools as well.

Ben Lurken
Ben Lurken
June 13, 2023 10:03 am

We should see more of this.

Burlington community calls for action after middle school students disrupt Pride event

Euddie
Euddie
June 13, 2023 10:52 am

All running concurrently:

Operation: Sodom and Gomorrah.
Operation: Open Gates of Babylon,
Operation: Pestilence
Operation: Strip the Wealth of “Egypt”

WilliamtheResolute
WilliamtheResolute
June 13, 2023 1:05 pm

Tranny’s bare their breasts at the WH parade…not the only boobs on display with Brandon in attendance.