NASHVILLE, TN — Sources at the major country music record labels confirmed Monday that they were “baffled” and “nonplussed” by a new country music artist who is “get this – from the actual country and making actual music.”
Record executives said the “bizarre” style of country music, in which someone writes, performs, and records songs of actual quality about topics germane to people living in the actual country, “doesn’t really speak to them” and is “pretty confusing.”
“We just don’t get it,” said Bud “Dwayne” Dingles of Capitol Records Nashville. “Is it like, some sort of joke? I don’t understand the punchline. Is it the beard? Because it’s a nice beard, but it doesn’t really make me laugh.” Dingles went on to point out that the viral single “Rich Men North of Richmond” by the artist in question, Oliver Anthony, doesn’t mention drinking beer while driving a truck on the backroads with a “girl all up in it” a single time, doesn’t have a guest hip-hop artist, and doesn’t appear to just be a pop track with a quiet banjo track added in post.
“This will never catch on, and it’s antithetical to our values as the gatekeepers of country music,” Dingles added. “Maybe if this Anthony fellow goes out and gets himself a college education and learns to write a catchy radio tune that’s barely indistinguishable from what you hear on the pop stations, then he’ll be going somewhere.”
But Dingles isn’t optimistic about Anthony’s chances of making it in the country music industry.
“I want something peppy, something happy, something up-tempo. I want something snappy. None of this tragic lamentation crap being all sad about the actual plights of people from the actual country – that’s not what country music is all about.”
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“This will never catch on, and it’s antithetical to our values as the (gatekeepers) of country music,”
They forgot about us… This is a reminder we are still here…
He says things 250 Million Americans have been saying for years.
It’s been a while.
” WHERE HAVE YOU GONE , JOE DIMAGGIO ???
OUR NATION TURNS ITS LONELY EYES TO YOU…….
WOO-WOOO-WOO …. “
My favorite line was ” said Bud “Dwayne” Dingles of Capitol Records”
the Nashville elite told each other, in Hebrew.
Hilarious… Im listening to that song right now… Its past 16 million…
Amazing what we can do when we stick together…
Divide and conquer is the top war strategy.
You’ve heard the song, right? What would be amazing is living like we own a first-world country, y’all. You can dominate in the irrelevant realm as much as you like. They will even give you gadgets to up vote all y’all’s likes with our tax money.
I get your point Doug, but 16 million voices singing in unison “Fuck Joe Biden” has got to get their attention a little bit.
Stirrings of the masses have started on smaller waves.
javelin, you are way over your head. If you study world history for the next ten years, you might figure it out. It is IMPOSSIBLE to win political power from the start. Culture is upstream of politics. A subculture that becomes a culture that is viable at fighting off culture war is essential, and Christianity is the opposite of that. It is stepping on your own dick. There is a reason the decline of Rome took centuries. Jewish incorporated and organizational power was dealt with by banishment from Rome and by military force with no touchy-feely qualms. Christianity was an upgrade of Roman subjugation compared to the pagan imperial cult. Paganism is much more permissive because there is no demand for mental/moral monogamy. Orthodox Christianity was later in the decline and the Roman Government was more corrupt later in the decline. The French peasants either always lost or nearly always lost. The problem of the dumbass masses is meet the new boss, same as the old boss. Masses cannot and will not govern themselves. They lack the human capacity and I no longer regard most people as human (mentally). And according to Jews Jesus and Paul we should collect them into a one world order? I referred to the Prime Directive on a comment I made only moments ago:
I think it is germane. My principles are consistent. So are commenter little mark’s. It can get annoying. Sad that I don’t have better things to do, or that I need this pathetic social outlet. We all keep trying to reach out to ‘intelligent life’. They have us good, and that’s my point. Peaceful protests do nothing. Reality is something else. It is obvious to any real man. A certain country was started by rebels not peaceful protestors who displayed love and unity, by people who took land from red natives, by people who did not have the luxury of being true Christians of the Gospel, or they would have died soon. The Granger movement failed. The single-tax movement failed. All the movements that succeed go left because the cabal rigs them to work with false optics and does not allow anything else politically real to succeed. How is this so hard to see? Herd instincts is what these people manipulate so well. Anyone who can’t see the obvious has the can’t-see eyes of a clingy herd animal. My fans know where that logic leads, i.e. Shepherd/Farmer and domesticated animal.
O Rly?
Approved
They want whites watching football, drinking light beer and staying calm and stupid. New country music sounds like nigger shit.
Over 16 million views and counting, mofo. Wez goin places.
The Country Music Industry with tears in its ears from lying on its side and crying over Oliver Anthony’s real country song.
More likely they’re scheming up ways to co-opt him, and get him singing about gay stuff as fast as possible.
butt-light will be offering huge sums for him to endorse
I quit listening to new country music in the 70’s. Still love the old stuff though, 40’s,50,s and 60’s. That was real country music.
When is Taylor Swift going to cover that song?
(((Country Music))) is already fully converged.
Apparently the preppy “record executives” are too young to remember the protest anthems of the 1960’s and 70’s…forget about them understanding Woody Guthrie’s appeal.
We were waist deep in The Big Muddy , but the big fool said to push on
Actually, that’s not that far-fetched. So I say not comedy within the context that country music has long since departed what life is like in the country.
Best check Bud Dingle(stein)’s early life section.