Guest Post by Jim Kunstler
Behold, Royal Caribbean International’s new ship, Icon of the Seas. Well, okay, but icon of what, exactly, of the seas? Of the wretched excess that the cruise industry is sending forth to sail the oceans blue? I remind you: societies build their most extravagant monuments just before they collapse. This looks like the perfect vehicle for partying at the end-of-the-world (that is, the world as we know it). This monstrosity is so huge — equivalent of a 20-story building — that the promoters say it has “neighborhoods.” Below is the Royal Bay Pool in the new “Chill Island neighborhood.” Very posh, indeed. Excludes all the waddling, land-whales of the lower decks with their slushies and burritos in-hand.
Below: the ship’s Thrill Island Waterslide neighborhood, looking a little bit like the gastro-intestinal system of someone who subjected themselves to six days of round-the-clock, all-you-can-eat buffets.
This beast sets sail in January of 2024. Ask yourself: what sort of economy supports a venture like this? And what if it isn’t there anymore when this thing is ready to launch?
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Could be worse….it could be Disney themed
Gay cruises are on much smaller vessels. Maybe someday when they have perverted enough children?
15 minute ships now. Thats one way to sell the idea. 8,000 souls on board, enjoy the Norovirus
Shit floats… they trust.
Puke Barge
Say hallo to my friend , rogue wave , broadside hit and over she goes.
That pig could turn nose in and still get swamped! It’s a fucking floating coffin!
It does appear a bit top heavy for a ship. No problem they probably have just enough life boats for the crew to escape.
SS Poseidon II
Whoa, don’t insult pigs. This insane boat is just a disaster and a horrible monument to greed and stupidity. Totally creeped out by it. But I am just back from my actual off the grid log cabin where my nearest neighbors are about two miles as the hawk flies from me, so that tub is waaay out of my personal orbit. Jeez, looking at that floating – at least for now – top heavy tank of excess and stinking taste confirms once more that every drop of sweat that went into peeling those cabin logs in my own outback really was worth it.
Make a great troop ship for the inevitable invasion of Europe or China…again.
or Wakanda repatriations.
I like the way your mind works. They got over here on a fucking boat. Send ’em back the same way!
Much easier than the Bismark to sink. One sub torpedo and it is going down. Worse than cannon fodder, at least they have a chance.
They are called cattle boats in the marine industry.
Been on one at dock when I was taking marine operations courses. That was the first time on one, and the last. Personally, I would never take a ‘holiday’ cramped on a boat with 7000 other people. I’ll go fly fish’n on a river in the Selkirks instead, stunning scenery, clean air, quiet and hook’n steelhead can’t be beat.
You and me both moos. My idea of a holiday vessel is my old Lexus suv or Yamaha, both of which are piloted solo for remote road-tripping and wilderness hiking. No way I’d want to squish shoulders with 1000s of strangers on a perfumed garbage scow
Try the Yaak River
Hull made of carbon fiber ? Nintendo joystick for navigation ?
Not to mention that all navigation, piloting, critical systems monitoring is done by AI. What could possibly go wrong!
Needs a slide from the top deck to the lower deck.
Holy smoke! That’s crazy!
Is there an economy to support it? Absolutely. They’ll be just fine. The cattle will spend their last dollar on something like this…or go into debt for that ultimate vacay.
Saw many people on vacation this summer. Lots of money being spent. Restaurants full. Surely didn’t see too many concerned about money.
Been on a cruise once. Never again. It’s like I invited 300o people to go with me. Plus, I don’t like being on anyone’s schedule.
I also went once. Yes, it’s a very bizarre experience to be with thousands of people on a floating city. I met some nice people. So would consider it again.
Looks like ‘The Poseidon Adventure’ on steroids. Can you say, “Top Heavy?” I knew you could. Wonder if they will get Cuba Gooding, Jr. to play Steve Guttenberg’s role?
Just don’t follow the Purser.
Money? All I see being used is plastic. More than a trillion in consumer credit card debt, but hey, bankruptcy is easy in the US.
Because you’ll buy anything. Poor sheep, poor, poor sheep……bah, bah.
You couldn’t pay me to get on that POS.
Your common sense on this earns you lots of cred with me…not that that means anything. Still.
Scru- I would not go if it was 100% FREE. I stay out of crowds at all cost.
Sainted Uncle Remus’ First Rule. Good for YOU!
The only way I’d ever get on a cruise ship is on what were billed as “re-positioning cruises”; basically these were off-season ship movements from one market to another, typically Mediterranean-to-Caribbean or North Pacific-to-South Pacific.
I never got around to taking one, but on paper they were good deals: the ships were relatively empty (a major plus), and the fares were damn cheap (I saw a Vancouver to Sydney fare well under $1000, including two weeks of meal service (but you have to make your own entertainment). Alas – these deals do not seem to have some back, post-Covid.
In the words of Dean Wormer: No more fun of any kind!
Can’t wait for it to meet one of those rogue waves that ends Captains careers and capsize with a full load of fucking idiots! Stupidity is always self sorting…and the dildo of consequences NEVER comes pre-lubed!
Nero was the real inventor with his orgy ships.
Yeah remember the cruise ships not welcomed in any harbor when the COVID scam was going on? I’d rather cruise on the Titanic.
also referred to as…. FLOATING PETRI DISH
It’s not only obscene in size, it’s tacky as hell. It looks like a floating cartoon.
Ironically, it’s going to be funny as fuck when it inevitably sinks!
The ocean is a cruel and uncaring bitch with a BAD attitude!
The Bible refers to it as “The Abyss” for a very good reason.
Swear to God! I read that and my first instinct was to drop trow! lol!
I remind you: societies build their most extravagant monuments just before they collapse.
This is true.
Do new sports stadiums funded by tax payer funds count?
Don’t forget the YUGE MLK black pud statue in Boston. If that doesn’t scream collapse, what does?
It looks like some hands holding a big turd, the sculpture totally trolled them and they didn’t even notice.
Evidently they do in Texas! Football is King in Texas.
Ban geo-engineered taxpayer financed sports facilities, they cause light and noise pollution on Friday nights. Not to mention the synthetic playing surfaces are made in China !!!
One of these behemoths is going to suffer catastrophic structural failure leading to thousands of deadees.
With STEM diversity hiring, it is inevitable.
I never understood the whole going on a boat just to sail aimlessly around the ocean thing. Sure if I was going from Boston to Portsmouth UK, or some such, if there was a point to it and someone didn’t want to fly I could understand, to me it’s just pointless transportation for transportation sake, like Charlie on The MTA.
My sister told me its all.you can eat, plus gambling and entertainment. Whatever. I’d rather spend the same amount money at Safeway on a few weeks groceries, some scratch tickets and case of Narragansetts and sit by the pool, and watch the Chickens. It’s still all I can eat, drink, entertainment and I can still gamble if I want. And I don’t have to be “vaxxed” nor worry about getting sea sickness, or being locked in my cabin for weeks on end if I were to be on a cruise ship during the outbreak of the next scamdemic.
They want to charge me 2.5k to get on that thing. Clearly they have no business sense.
What they should do if they really want the bucks is shanghai me and charge 5k to get off.
I wonder if they have crack dealers on the corners of the neighborhoods. I think alot of drunken fuckers are gonna disappear at sea.
This is literally a vision of hell as far as I am concerned. It makes a lake of fire look good in comparison.
I once took a booze cruise on the St Lawrence it left in Quebec City with the Chateau Frontenac up on a hill behind us. Almost 40 years ago it was really a beautiful experience . If you do it today I’m sure it would be hell full of foreigners and niggers.
Diversity makes everything better!
That thing is an abomination against esthetics, nature and engineering. And as the article points out, totally dependent on some shaky stuff–credit based economic system, extensive supply chains, AI, GPS, ideal seas, and healthy cruisers. I’m taking bets: Will it become a plague ship, a Poseidon rollover, or be targeted by terrorists? The only real thing it has going for it (short term) is a limitless supply of suckers crowding the gangplanks to get on.
Zombie plague ship.
I would not even consider booking passage on that thing. It is an ant hill. I don’t like crowded places at all. I am not even sure I like people in general. What is the old saying ? The more people I meet the better I like my cat/dog.
You have EXCELLENT instincts! You’re destined to go far. Preferably on dry land!
” I am not even sure I like people in general. ”
In the words of the great philosopher:
“I love mankind, it’s people I can’t stand” — Linus Van Pelt
They should market that to illegal aliens, hell, they get boocoo Biden bucks as it is.
Make a few minor changes to the slides, as in make them go overboard at the end.
And make them all go down the slide, crew members included (those that are illegal aliens).
Just last year the unfinished sixth largest cruise ship in the world was towed from the bankrupt yard in Germany where is was being built straight to the scrap yard.
https://thepointsguy.com/news/record-size-cruise-ship-scrapped/
Yes, I recall The Economist mag long long ago mentioning something of this size becoming a floating city and how the idea may catch on.
Such is life…
“You may live to see man-made horrors beyond your comprehension.”
— Nikola Tesla
You may also shit in your own hat and count yourself clever. – TCS
Honestly. NOT one of Tesla’s better quotes.
Unimaginable vulgarity.
Seriously, who in the hell would actually pay to take a “cruise” on that abomination ??? Not my idea of a good time, I may be weird but . . . DAMN! My idea of fun involves traveling to Mongolia and living with nomadic herders far away from crowds of idiots.
If your a student of life. every situation can be amusing. The masses thinking a cruise ship with thousands of people is adventure is rather humorous itself.
A floating kindergarten/daycare for the Lumpen-vacation.
Auntie remebers both the glory days of cruising: the France, The U.S.S. United States, Grace Lines to South America and of course television’s greatesr theme song, ever:
That and “Fantasy Island” were hands down the two creepiest shows ever to air! No wonder we turned into a nation of perverts!
Much of TeeVee screen-writing seems to take The Love Boat as inspiration, if only technically:
if writing a interesting, coherent story with well-developed characters is beyond your budget (or ability), just write three or four crappy little stories and cut them together in small slices to fill up the allotted time slot. Presto! Emmy time!