WASHINGTON, D.C. — The Democratic Party was left scrambling for a replacement today, as long-time faithful Senator Mitt Romney of Utah announced he would not be seeking re-election.
“This is a huge blow for the Democratic Party,” said Senate Majority Leader Chuck Schumer. “Romney has been one of our most reliable senators. He will be sorely missed.”
Democrats have immediately begun searching for a replacement candidate, concerned that conservatives in Utah could flip the seat Republican. “Romney being able to carry Utah for the Democrats was an unbelievable windfall for the party,” said analyst Chuck Todd. “It will be incredibly difficult to find another candidate who can win in such a deep red state while completely and utterly turning his back on the Republican party. It’s like finding a unicorn.”
According to sources in the Romney camp, the Senator plans to retire to the plains of Namibia to spend more time with his fellow rhinoceros family.
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Vote for new Pile of Dogshit for Senate. Same as the old pile of dogshit.
he will be the BANE of those rhino’s as well
Democrats,republicans what is the difference.
True. This Bee story about Romney isn’t really satire.
Mittens of the Magic Underwear . His legacy will be, gone but forgotten…
Don’t let the door hit you on the way out. You won’t be missed Pierre Delecto. And take your niece, Ronna McDaniel with you.
I am ashamed I actually voted for this piece of shit for pres. Did not like the alternative and I still thought voting mattered. And I believed Republicans would actually do jack crap. A few years later, the repubs still do jack shit, so shockingly nothing ever changes
Republicans always seem to have a Mitt Romney when the Democrats need one.
…IF You EVER ‘vote’ again.
Does NOT sound like You will. Either.
The Utah Republican Party, derangement be upon them, still supports him. We need more MAGA types to run for precinct captain (or whatever they call it) to free Utah from their RINO grip. If someone with genuine loyalty runs for the office I count on the URP to do all they can to eliminate them during the primary. Not sure any of the current Utah congressional crew qualify to represent us. Maybe Chris Stewart, but not sure.
Mitch is intelligent and capable, he was an successful executive at Bain.(meaning an asshole). Entered politics and reaffirmed the Peter Princple, got to his level of incompetence.
Good riddance.
Once again the Bee is no longer satire.