Break the Law Again, You’ll Get Two Desserts!

Guest Post by Ann Coulter

Days after Mayor Eric Adams said the migrant crisis was going to “destroy” New York City, we memorialized the last time immigrants tried to destroy it: the 9/11 attack.

At least that was a one-time body blow. The city suffered grievously, but survived because, luckily, the immigrants who flew planes into the buildings killed themselves in the process.

Today’s immigrant crisis is never going to end. More than 100,000 migrants have already arrived, and there’s no end in sight. With the city rushing to give them handouts — free housing, “culturally appropriate” meals (three times a day), 24-hour snacks, popcorn machines, TVs, Xbox game consoles, pingpong, foosball tables and phones for making free international calls — they’re not going to stop coming, and it’s highly doubtful we can convince them to commit suicide, either.

We’ll be paying to clothe, house and feed them forever.

Already, city services are being slashed to take care of the “migrants” (the latest euphemism for illegal aliens).

The timing couldn’t be better. Apparently, the city has licked crime, homelessness and poverty — and taxpayers from all over are moving to New York. City services are running like a top, the streets and sidewalks gleam, and 8 million New Yorkers are living in peace and harmony.

(You know, a lot of black-run cities have gotten a bad reputation lately, but Mayor Adams and district attorney Alvin Bragg have certainly put an end to that stereotype.)

Still, some city residents would prefer not to have 100,000-plus migrants moving into their parks, playgrounds, schools, soccer fields, streets, hotels, homeless shelters, gymnasiums and so on.

Anticipating backlash from voters who might mistakenly blame Democrats for this horror show, The New York Times has run a series of articles making the point that IT’S THE REPUBLICANS’ FAULT.

Actual Times headline: G.O.P. Gets the Democratic Border Crisis It Wanted

Yeah, sure, the migrant crisis is 100% Democrats’ fault for throwing open the border and ushering millions of illegals into the country under the Biden administration. And Democrat-run cities like New York rolled out a welcome mat for illegals by declaring themselves “sanctuary cities.”

But it’s Republicans’ fault for informing the public that Democrats did these things!

If pointing out something bad that will hurt your political opponents means you wanted the bad thing to happen, then how about these headlines:

Democrats Get the Ukrainian Call They Wanted

Democrats Get the Trump Election Tantrum They Wanted

Democrats Get the Abortion Ruling They Wanted

Not only are Republicans hatefully pointing out that it’s official Democratic policy to invite all the poor of the world to move here, but it turns out Democrats had a plan to stop them from coming — but Republicans REJECTED IT.

Their plan, which is foolproof as far as I can tell, was to give illegals a reward for entering our country illegally. As White House spokesman Angelo Fernandez Hernandez explained, the border crisis is the fault of Republicans who “refuse to pass comprehensive immigration reform.”

“Comprehensive immigration reform” means amnesty. It has always meant amnesty. It will always mean amnesty. There is nothing else it could mean, except amnesty. Presidents George W. Bush, Barack Obama and Donald Trump all tried to hornswoggle Americans with an amnesty, calling it “comprehensive immigration reform.” Every Democrat is for “comprehensive immigration reform.” The plan is always the same: Amnesty NOW, meaningless promises about border security later.

In other words, the Democrats’ idea is for discouraging the billions of people who live on less than $7 a day from moving here is to give them everything they ever could have dreamed of as a “thank you” for breaking into our country illegally: U.S. citizenship.

Free housing, food and medical care is not enough! We need to provide aspiring illegals the extra inducement of citizenship in the greatest country in the world.

That’ll stop ’em cold!

More great ideas along these lines:

The “Comprehensive Jan. 6 Plan”: If you riot at the Capitol, demanding Trump be made president, Democrats will punish you by … making Trump president!

The “Comprehensive Civil Rights Plan”: Discriminate against a black person, and Democrats will not only block any legal proceeding against you, but bake you a cake!

The “Comprehensive Putin Plan”: He invades Ukraine, and Democrats will give him Moldova, too! (Maybe we should make Putin a citizen.)

Democrats seriously think they’re going to snow voters with a lot of euphemisms for amnesty: “comprehensive immigration reform,” “changes to the immigration system,” “a major immigration overhaul,” fixing “our broken immigration system.”

The Times reports this nonsense as if Democrats are making a real argument:

“Democrats are trying to go on offense … reminding voters that [Republicans] helped stall a major immigration overhaul in Washington that they say might have prevented the latest influx.”

And: “The task may be easier for [Democratic] challengers who are taking on Republican incumbents whom they can blame for failing to enact the kind of changes to the immigration system” — i.e., amnesty — “that could curb illegal border crossings.”

If only we’d had MORE goodies waiting for illegals on our side of the border, they never would have come!

The Times also quotes Rep. Pat Ryan, D-N.Y., blowing away Republicans with this argument: “[Republicans] are not actually working to resolve problems.”

Anyone who says the migrant crisis can be “resolved” by anything other than a wall is lying. New York Times headline, Sept. 11, 2023: “Once Again You Lose Me at the Wall.”

And anyone who says the migrant crisis could’ve been averted if only we’d offered illegals MORE benefits thinks you are a moron.

They’re just trying to run out the clock as the third world pours into our country. By the time voters realize they’ve been lied to, it will be too late. They’ll be outvoted by 50 million illegal aliens who’ve been granted “comprehensive immigration reform.”

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