SAN DIEGO, CA — Authorities say they aren’t quite sure what to make of the “totally Mexican man” they picked up over the weekend who identifies himself as Mohammed Sanchez. According to sources, he crossed the U.S.-Mexico border with a caravan of undocumented immigrants but drew a lot of attention to himself because of his thick beard, turban, and what he claimed was a “purely decorative” AK-47.
“Yeah, this guy — I dunno, something’s off about him,” admitted Border Patrol Agent George Dalton. “I mean he looks Mexican — sorry, I mean Latinx — but he doesn’t speak a lick of Spanish. Also, he was carrying a Koran, which I guess is a Muslim choose your own adventure book or something. Pretty sure Latinx people don’t read those weird squiggly words.”
“On the other hand, his last name is Sanchez and he says he’s ‘super Mexican.’ I’m not sure where to go on this one.”
Also concerning was the manifesto found on Sanchez’s person which describes a passion for killing infidels and calls for “the great Satan to be wiped off the face of the earth.” However, Sanchez maintains the manifesto is merely fan fiction for Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2.
Homeland Security Secretary Mayorkas says that Biden has been briefed on the matter but would like to avoid making any decisions before the election.
At publishing time, Mohammed Sanchez had been released from custody and asked to please come back for a hearing in three months.
“I think that if he doesn’t return, that will be a clear sign that he was an international terrorist,” said a spokesperson for U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement. “It may be the only way to find out for sure.”
It is my sincere desire to provide readers of this site with the best unbiased information available, and a forum where it can be discussed openly, as our Founders intended. But it is not easy nor inexpensive to do so, especially when those who wish to prevent us from making the truth known, attack us without mercy on all fronts on a daily basis. So each time you visit the site, I would ask that you consider the value that you receive and have received from The Burning Platform and the community of which you are a vital part. I can't do it all alone, and I need your help and support to keep it alive. Please consider contributing an amount commensurate to the value that you receive from this site and community, or even by becoming a sustaining supporter through periodic contributions. [Burning Platform LLC - PO Box 1520 Kulpsville, PA 19443] or Paypal
-----------------------------------------------------
To donate via Stripe, click here.
-----------------------------------------------------
Use promo code ILMF2, and save up to 66% on all MyPillow purchases. (The Burning Platform benefits when you use this promo code.)
Bucket list – meet the writers at the Bee someday. I’m sure that would be a blast.
Musk interviewed by The Bee boys
It’s all O.K. All of Mo’ Sanchez’s kit came from the U.S.A. (via Afghanistan, Iraq and Syria) so that’s invitation enough for FJB and the traitors in the current Samntha Powers- Barry O. adm1n1strat1on.
Biden’s request to Congress includes:
$14 billion for Israel
$60 billion for Ukraine
$10 billion for general humanitarian aid
$7 billion for the Indo-Pacific
$100 million for Gaza
$14 billion to process illegals faster at the border
What? No prostitutes for the First Son?