Blackstone Releases “Beyond Cringe” Holiday Video

Via ZeroHedge

The world’s largest alternative asset manager has released what some X users say is a ‘beyond cringe’ holiday video, while others said, ‘After seeing this video, I want a very hard landing.’

Blackstone published its annual holiday video on YouTube and X titled “Blackstone’s 2023 Holiday Video: The Alternatives Era,” which features executives singing and dancing as they promote their brand.

“We’re using ChatGPT to figure out what rhymes with EBITDA,” one staffer said in the video before the music started.

The video starts with CEO Stephen A. Schwarzman stepping out of a VW bus.

Followed by executives singing in chorus: “It’s the alternatives era. We buy assets, then we make ’em better.”

Several X users couldn’t believe the video was real. But it has been an annual tradition at the firm since 2018.

Here’s the full video:

X users, in general, thought the video was super ‘cringe’:

How many hours did the executives put into making this video?

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36 Comments
AKJOHN
AKJOHN
December 17, 2023 12:35 pm

Gagging with a spoon would be more pleasant.

Gaping sphincter
Gaping sphincter
December 17, 2023 12:36 pm

It’s Jew fuckheads like this that have raised the cost of a two bedroom apartment in NWI from 800. Dollars to 1700 a month in 6 years.when were all homeless then they can fill em with spicks and niggers on the dole.

Aunt Acid
Aunt Acid
December 17, 2023 1:03 pm

Let’s hear it for Hyper-finance Crony-Capitalism!

Anonymous
Anonymous
December 17, 2023 1:08 pm

Predictive programming/revelation of intent. They’re telling us they’re coming. We don’t fight, so they aren’t guilty of crime (in their worldview), because we’re accepting their announced rape, so we own the karma/responsibility (again, in their twisted cosmology).

2024 and onward will make the bubonic plague years seem cozy and benevolent. Speaking of the Black Death era:

“Because the world is so full of death and horror, I try again and again to console my heart and pick the flowers that grow in the midst of hell.”
― Herman Hesse, Narcissus and Goldmund

https://www.goodreads.com/work/quotes/955995-narzi-und-goldmund

“We fear death, we shudder at life’s instability, we grieve to see the flowers wilt again and again, and the leaves fall, and in our hearts we know that we, too, are transitory and will soon disappear. When artists create pictures and thinkers search for laws and formulate thoughts, it is in order to salvage something from the great dance of death, to make something last longer than we do.”
― Hermann Hesse, Narcissus and Goldmund

“My goal is this: always to put myself in the place in which I am best able to serve, wherever my gifts and qualities find the best soil to grow, the widest field of action. There is no other goal.” ― Hermann Hesse, Narcissus and Goldmund

“O how incomprehensible everything was, and actually sad, although it was also beautiful. One knew nothing. One lived and ran about the earth and rode through forests, and certain things looked so challenging and promising and nostalgic: a star in the evening, a blue harebell, a reed-green pond, the eye of a person or a cow. And sometimes it seemed that something never seen yet long desired was about to happen, that a veil would drop from it all, but then it passed, nothing happened, the riddle remained unsolved, the secret spell unbroken, and in the end one grew old and looked cunning . . . or wise . . . and still one knew nothing perhaps, was still waiting and listening.” ― Herman Hesse, Narcissus and Goldmund

The rats spreading the plague this time have two legs, and the black part is sorta different . . .

Anonymous
Anonymous
  Anonymous
December 17, 2023 1:12 pm

in their worldview guilt is just leverage and there is no karma

Anonymous
Anonymous
  Anonymous
December 17, 2023 1:16 pm

They believe in karma. It informs their acts.

Season of Sacrifice

k31
k31
  Anonymous
December 17, 2023 4:53 pm

Whatever they believe, God will not hold them guiltless if they do not repent.

Ursel Doran
Ursel Doran
December 17, 2023 1:12 pm

Biden administration run by nutters and psychos in Obama’s third term laid out here.

Aunt Acid
Aunt Acid
  Ursel Doran
December 17, 2023 1:16 pm

When unbridled perversion IS the raison d’etre of a government, WATCH THE FUCK OUT.

B_MC
B_MC
  Ursel Doran
December 17, 2023 2:05 pm

comment image

B_MC
B_MC
  Ursel Doran
December 17, 2023 2:08 pm

comment image

B_MC
B_MC
  Ursel Doran
December 17, 2023 2:15 pm

comment image

YourAverageJoe
YourAverageJoe
  B_MC
December 17, 2023 4:52 pm

Obvious fake photo.
JFK weren’t around in December 63.

B_MC
B_MC
  YourAverageJoe
December 17, 2023 6:59 pm

The White House. The evening of Wednesday, November 20, 1963. It was one of those legendary Kennedy parties. The occasion was a reception in the East Room for the federal judiciary, including the justices of the Supreme Court of the United States. Although John and Jacqueline Kennedy did not know it, this was also their last night together in the presidential mansion…

Before they departed, John and Jacqueline Kennedy had already selected and ordered their annual Christmas card: a 4 1/2- by 6 1/2-inch Hallmark card, custom made for them, bearing a color photograph of an 18th-century Neapolitan crèche that had been displayed in the East Room of the White House each year they had lived there. The inside of the card featured an embossed seal of an American eagle holding an olive branch in one talon and arrows in the other. The message inside read “With our wishes for a Blessed Christmas and a Happy New Year,”

The Christmas cards—one of which now resides in the collections of the Smithsonian National Museum of American History—were never mailed.

comment image

https://www.smithsonianmag.com/history/jfk-christmas-card-was-never-sent-180948006/?device=ipad

Anonymous
Anonymous
  B_MC
December 17, 2023 8:04 pm

Reeeceipts!
Brilliant!
Lol

Dirk Weed
Dirk Weed
  Ursel Doran
December 17, 2023 9:45 pm

Alright, we know who was cruising the Hershey Highway. But, how do we know it wasn’t Senator Chucky Schumer playing catcher in the latest episode of “Deep in Uranus.”

Erik
Erik
December 17, 2023 1:16 pm

Blackstone is the world’s largest alternative asset manager? Well, according to Klaus, that will end in 2030. Sorry!

Anonymous
Anonymous
  Erik
December 17, 2023 1:21 pm

Glock owns no Blackrock stock.

He thinks.

Lars
Lars
  Anonymous
December 17, 2023 5:56 pm

Apprently Blackstone and Blackrock are separate entities.

Aunt Acid
Aunt Acid
  Lars
December 17, 2023 9:02 pm

Rayssiss for noticing, Lars.

Anonymous
Anonymous
December 17, 2023 1:28 pm

Due to being severely out of touch, I have adopted the stance that if I believe something can’t be true, it probably is. This video fits into that thinking. It makes promoting a musical called “Springtime for Hitler” sound like a good idea.

James
James
  Anonymous
December 17, 2023 1:54 pm

“It makes promoting a musical called “Springtime for Hitler” sound like a good idea.”

Well,in all fairness,it tis a good idea!

comment image

49%mfer
49%mfer
  James
December 17, 2023 3:54 pm

comment image

Large Trailer Mounted Incinerators

justanotherday
justanotherday
  49%mfer
December 17, 2023 5:02 pm

chugga chugga – chugga chugga jooo jooo !!!!!

Anonymous
Anonymous
  justanotherday
December 17, 2023 8:05 pm

That’s a racist meme.

Anonymous
Anonymous
December 17, 2023 2:33 pm

These idiots are managing a large pile of inventor capital. Our current business leaders are the most inept in history. Bankruptcy will be too kind for them.

Anonymous
Anonymous
  Anonymous
December 17, 2023 4:19 pm

Criminal, not inept.

MrLiberty
MrLiberty
December 17, 2023 3:30 pm

I think that guillotine rhymes a bit with EBITDA.

Aunt Acid
Aunt Acid
  MrLiberty
December 17, 2023 9:01 pm

It’s even better upon second viewing. Ho ho ho.

Anonymous
Anonymous
December 17, 2023 4:17 pm

ESG’s threat to commerce (and therefore, to society):

THE THREAT OF ESG

.
(42+ minutes video)

Ak
Ak
December 17, 2023 4:38 pm

How it of touch can people be? Wow

Aunt Acid
Aunt Acid
  Ak
December 17, 2023 6:18 pm

Not out of touch but rather an act of smearing the contempt in our and also their employees and shareholders faces. Kind of a lot like the dokter J1ll Bai Din Christmas video abortion we just witnessed.

ICE-9
ICE-9
December 17, 2023 7:39 pm

It’s in your face now goyim. They make those assets better by replacing you with a cheap Indian brought over on an L2 visa from their “Center of Excellence” in Pune. You will wake up soon homeless in the land that your forefathers conquered.

Dirk Weed
Dirk Weed
December 17, 2023 9:40 pm

I thought it was pretty good. Is there any way they could package it on a roll so that I can easily hang it in my bathroom so that it’ll be within easy reach every time I need to wipe up after a massive bowel movement?

Anonymous
Anonymous
December 17, 2023 11:22 pm

I just barely recovered from seeing the Biden’s Christmas production with dancing tranny’s…now this…the end of America is near.