Who Can Afford Kids These Days?

Authored by Jeffrey A. Tucker via The Epoch Times (emphasis ours),

The large data sets on the cost of living and the cost of children are instructive. But nothing compares with the anecdotes you hear from people who once thought they were prosperous but now wonder if they can really get by while completely ruling out the idea of having and raising children. It’s a genuine shift and one that is devastating for the future.

(DavideAngelini/Shutterstock)

 

Last week, the Wall Street Journal ran a fascinating piece by a high-end worker in New York City. He has a great job and so does his wife. But during the last year, they discovered that they are truly living paycheck to paycheck, barely able to pay the bills. They have discovered home cooking and have pretty well given up concerts and dinners out with friends. The writer was being deeply honest about a problem that seems to affect most people.

They thought that they had finally achieved the long-sought goal of prosperity. Instead, they feel a sense of impending doom. The kicker: the writer is in the C-suite of the Wall Street Journal itself! It turns out that this situation is now typical. A majority of Americans live this way!

And this is a childless couple. How in the world can they afford to have children? The wife cannot quit her job else they would both have to move, if they can find a place. Giving up a full income stream to raise a child is a huge expense in addition to the high costs of everything associated with children from diapers to formula to health care insurance.

The alternative is to keep working and put the kid in childcare. That is extremely difficult to come by everywhere. A report on childcare by Care.com offers some amazing data of the costs over the last ten years.

• Weekly nanny cost: $736 (up 56 percent from $472 in 2013). • Weekly daycare cost: $284 (up 53 percent from $186 in 2013). • Weekly family care center cost: $229 (up 80 percent from $127 in 2013). • Weekly babysitter cost: $179 (up 92 percent from $93 in 2013)

In terms of the most expensive places, the report offers the following. A weekly nanny in D.C. costs $885. In Massachusetts, it’s $865. In Connecticut, it’s $799. A weekly babysitter costs $200 in places like California. Daycare is going to run $250 to $400.

These are the most expensive cities and also the most regulated states. When there is no competition and the costs of opening child care are astronomical, this is what you get. However, the problem is also nationwide.

The report comments: “Today, families are spending, on average, 27 percent of their household income on child care expenses. And 59 percent of parents surveyed tell us they are planning to spend more than $18,000 per child on child care in 2023. It’s no surprise that 50 percent of parents are more concerned about the cost of child care than they were at this time last year.”

Think about this impossible situation that affects millions of young couples. You need two incomes to pay the bills, and that’s if you are lucky. Chances are that one of the two will need an additional part-time job, which is why multiple job holders are higher than ever before. That was the big change that occurred after the last great inflation of the late seventies. After 1985, women with children were more likely to have a remunerative job than not.

At the time, this was called “women’s liberation” but that was mostly a marketing gimmick to hide the dramatic decline in household income that required a second income to have growing household prosperity. That seemed to work for a while, even a long time. But as health care and childcare have become so expensive, the second income went from being a luxury to being an expected necessity.

Many people these days are hoping to homeschool children. This is especially true since the school closures forced so many millions into Zoom school that didn’t work and set a whole generation of kids back two years in learning outcomes. Many parents want to avoid that as their children get older. But homeschooling requires foregoing a full income stream. Only the richest can do that now, so that is ever more out of the question.

Oh and by the way, the Biden administration is considering new regulations on au pairs that would more than double their cost. The government wants to demand that they get paid the minimum wage, which would dramatically reduce demand and thus supply, thus ruining one of the few functioning migration markets we have.

After the school situation is solved, there is the problem of college, which introduces another set of problems. It’s no longer even thinkable that people can work their way through school and pay the bills. How many people are declining to have kids on those grounds alone? Who can afford to throw down $200K for a college degree in addition to paying the bills for the household?

For most of human history, having kids was just what you do, the whole reason for pairing up, and a driving force of the purpose of life itself. Today, we have different options and choices, and that’s great. But what happens when bearing children becomes completely unaffordable for any couple that has bills to pay, health care to cover, and would like to think about retirement too? That’s a huge problem and not just for the family but for the whole of society.

You will notice, too, that this grim situation is completely consistent with the depopulation agenda of elite classes that they have pushed for many decades. Elon Musk is exactly right to call this out and argue that it is a profound danger to society itself when the birthrate falls below its replacement rate. It literally means that humanity is dying out.

I do think it is about time that everyone admits that we have lost a huge amount in living standards over the decades. The expectation of two and three income streams in every household is a major culprit that is often not considered in the data. And yet in some ways, family income is all that really matters in terms of assessing the quality of life.

This week, I’ve been thinking back on the world my parents lived in circa 1958. They got married and immediately got in their car and drove to Northern California. Why? My father had finished his undergraduate degree in history and decided to go to seminary where he planned to study music. His ambition then was to become the director of music at a church.

While he was in school, they had one child, my brother, and then when my father got his first appointment, they had me. My mother did not work. Somehow, and this seems inconceivable to me today, the very idea that a family of four could support itself in California on the salary of a beginning church music director. And yet they were not poor. They were middle class.

Later they moved again and when it became fashionable for women with children to work, my mother together with her mother both obtained teachers certificates and took jobs. They were enormously proud of what they had achieved. They felt themselves to be upwardly mobile, and the family certainly benefited since by then my brother and I were happy in good schools.

All of this changed in the later 1970s as inflation kicked in. I can recall how my mother’s job went from being a joy to a chore that she could no longer give up. Things became intense as we needed more cars, more clothing, and mortgage payments were rising and rising. Now of course the situation is enormously worse, as everyone knows.

My point is that the circumstances under which my own parents decided to have kids back in the early 1960s seem like a completely different world. It was a time that was in many ways massively more prosperous. True, they didn’t have streaming videos and the internet but I can never recall being bored. Life was good.

I often hear Robert F. Kennedy, Jr. reflect on these days with a deep sense of nostalgia and an awareness that the American middle class was large and robust and optimism was everywhere in the air. This awareness more than anything is what drew him into politics to see if there is something he can do to bring back the greatest of the American dream.

I’m not sure that he or anyone can do it, but let’s not deceive ourselves. Poverty is spreading, the middle class is dying, the birth rate is plummeting, and the dream is fading faster and faster into the recesses of our memories. If you doubt it, speak to any newly married couple today about their plight and the decision to have children. You will get an earful.

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34 Comments
Anonymous
Anonymous
December 18, 2023 6:28 am
The Central Scrutinizer
The Central Scrutinizer
  Anonymous
December 18, 2023 6:36 am

There’s gonna be a whole lot O humpin goin on!

Anonymous
Anonymous
  Anonymous
December 18, 2023 7:59 pm

I love to go swimmin,
With Hungarian wimin,
And swim between their legs!

Anonymous
Anonymous
December 18, 2023 7:01 am

It’s not just the high cost of living today. It’s the uncertainty about when the house of cards will collapse. I’ve been expecting it for about 20 years now, and it’s one reason I didn’t have children. I’m too old now. Man, I feel foolish.

Svarga Loka
Svarga Loka
December 18, 2023 7:22 am

You THINK you can’t afford children. And you THINK you can’t live on one income.

The ones on minimum wage jobs might be right, but ironically, the ones earning $200K think so, too, maybe even more than the truly poor.

And that’s how they want it. For you to voluntarily not have children. No sterilization required.

And again, my principle in life: Do the opposite of what they want you to do.

Children want your time and your attention. If you own a ball and a library card, you have most of what you need. Home grown food, home cooked meals and hand me down clothes don’t have to cost a lot.

david
david
  Svarga Loka
December 18, 2023 8:29 am

I raised 7 children (5 boys, 2 girls, and one wife) in the 90’s and 2000’s exactly according to your prescription. Now I now have 7 grandchildren and I’m retiring in ’24. I am richer than I ever thought I’d be but not with money and stuff. But with love and admiration and great family holidays! I miss your articles SL. I wish you’d consider writing one soon.

Ben Lurken
Ben Lurken
  david
December 18, 2023 9:10 am

I have 4 children. My wife stayed home to raise them in the 80’s and 90’s. I now have 9 grandchildren. 2 of my 3 daughters are stay at home while the 3rd works part time only. My daughter in law also raises the kids full time. All are homeowners.

AKJOHN
AKJOHN
  Svarga Loka
December 18, 2023 2:08 pm

Beautifully said and done.

Perfect Stranger
Perfect Stranger
December 18, 2023 8:26 am

To a great extent, reality is what you think into existing.

Anonymous
Anonymous
  Perfect Stranger
December 18, 2023 10:35 am

“We make the world with our thoughts.” ~ The Buddha

“There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so.” ~ Hamlet
.
comment image
.
“As the plant springs from, and could not be without, the seed, so every act of a man springs from the hidden seeds of thought, and could not have appeared without them.” ~ James Allen, “As A Man Thinketh”

“As a single footstep will not make a path on the earth, so a single thought will not make a pathway in the mind. To make a deep physical path, we walk again and again. To make a deep mental path, we must think over and over the kind of thoughts we wish to dominate our lives.”
― Wilfred Arlan Peterson

“Don’t speak negatively about yourself, even as a joke. Your body doesn’t know the difference. Words are energy and they cast spells, that’s why it’s called spelling. Change the way you speak about yourself, and you can change your life.” ― Bruce Lee

Winchester
Winchester
December 18, 2023 8:51 am

Wanna know who is having the kids? NOT the middle working class. The “low income poor” scumbags are popping them out. They steal from us to pay for their offspring.

Anonymous
Anonymous
  Winchester
December 18, 2023 9:26 am

It’s true, but they still are right to do it. But they should not be subsidized, and they should have jobs – which have largely been destroyed at he bottom (and now, the middle) of the marketplace. At base, this is all down to .gov. I believe in no state whatsoever, but at least let’s roll it back as far as Ron Paul would have done.

Anonymous
Anonymous
December 18, 2023 8:53 am

Shane Dawson: HORRORS of Surrogacy (NSFW, and utterly disgusting and unnerving)

Openly selling babies to pedophiles. An adoptee testifies on the immorality of this commerce. A surrogate tells her horror story, too.

What’sHerFace’s own miscarriage and premature delivery stories:

Her prematurely-delivered (29 weeks) baby:

Arizona Bay
Arizona Bay
December 18, 2023 9:08 am

This is a great example of how culture, society, and government have shifted our focus away from the fundamental need for family in community. Since The Great Society, and most likely longer, our government has said, “We’re your family now. We’ll raise your children, feed and clothe them, and provide for their basic needs”

That has now morphed into, ‘I can’t have children! I’d have to give up some of this great life I have to struggle with children’. All feeding into the carefully orchestrated Great Replacement.

My wife & I have two children and even through the ups and downs since having them there is nothing more satisfying than having and being part of a family. Last night my wife and I were talking about finances. When we met we were both lucky to have $20 left at the end of the week after paying our bills. Together we’ve raised 2 kids having gotten one through college debt free and should have the 2nd through also debt free in a few years. With real degrees in real jobs to make real money.

Anyway, during our financial discussion I shared that we’ve reached our retirement goal several years early. Her response was, ” What good does that do us?”

I said that I’m working on a trust so that whatever is left after we are dead will be put to work helping our kids and generations of grandchildren we’ll never meet. She liked that idea. Family and legacy mean a lot to us and through our sacrifices we’re enriching those that come after us.

In crude numbers a generation is 20 years. Since 1800 there has been 11 generations. In math that means it took roughly 2000 people to make me and another 2000 to make my wife. Those 4000 people faced real adversity, not giving up lattes and concerts, for my wife and I to have an opportunity to pass on the legacy of their hard work through our children.

Guest
Guest
  Arizona Bay
December 18, 2023 9:37 am

That’s great however I hope your kids were broke too. One of the bonuses of being broke when young is odds are you won’t fear it so much and learning about work.

Also, I don’t think leaving money to future generations is a good idea. Not going to list the reasons but think about it for awhile.

Anonymous
Anonymous
  Guest
December 18, 2023 10:12 am

Adversity builds character, deprivation spurs ambition.

Anonymous
Anonymous
  Guest
December 19, 2023 6:31 am

Leaving money to future generations is a great idea if our offspring prove worthy of it.

Anonymous
Anonymous
  Guest
December 20, 2023 8:46 pm

I’m sure all the bankers and oligarchs and dynasties out there would agree with you.

anon a moos
anon a moos
December 18, 2023 9:33 am

The more you make the more you spend and are always near broke. binder dondat and what we did until my accident(s). We had to learn how to live on less than poverty income. Three kids, homeschooled, small farm and still managed to do a lot of adventure stuff with the kids, like camping, once a year trip to the city to see the aquarium, zoo, planetarium, etc.

Just yesterday, we drove up into the surrounding mountains with two daughters and two grands. Drove up high enough to get out of the clouds blanketing the valley. Beautiful sunny day, grands pick the tree, grandson learned how to build a fire with one match, scavenged for wood… Roasted marshmallows, hot chocolate, romped in the snow, a great day. Today, tree will go up and the grands will decorate it and the house, Christmas music blaring, not so little voices bellowing along, shortbread cookies baked, the works… cost… a little gas money mainly… value… life time of good memories and some traditions being maintained.

Learned to Do More With Less

Happier, healthier lifestyle without a lot of ‘stuff’ to drag around.

Anonymous
Anonymous
December 18, 2023 9:52 am

So in the ‘wealthiest’ country on earth, everyone decided not to have kids because the system played a numbers game on them and it was rigged?

BS.
Kids are always created and thrive within a community that wants them.
It is not a question of having ‘room’ or resources, people will make room, resources will appear out of the budget’s abyss. Teachers will line up to teach and invest in a future that is well defined, with students that share the same vision.
America does not want children. It wants a caste system that makes people unhappy and easy to bamboozle.
I do not hate America, I hate every god-damn principle that people hold true in our current society.
We have no community, before long we will not have a language.

Anyone wonder how Africa became where it is, after the fall of ancient civilizations like Egypt?
– Large amount of diverse languages per square mile. (I am willing to guess on that one)
– Tribal warfare.
– No reinvestment in the people or land.
– Subjugation of food supplies and economic means.
– No real industry, or jobs -> production value.
– Farming without a stable society.

And yet they reproduce, as long as there is food on the table. Maybe they are too stupid not to?
Or maybe we are stupid for substituting a caste system for family units in our society.

Let the reward/punishment system of your society become centralized and made very abstract, then you might just have your entire civilization bought off with monopoly money.
Am I wrong?

Anonymous
Anonymous
  Anonymous
December 18, 2023 10:22 am

Same anon.
You want to know why people of my age group do not trust our families?
Because -control- has replaced advice, temperament, and wisdom.

If you do not have a solution, then you force the problem onto another person. This is America’s creed, and exactly why young people are going to exodus our society.
Younger people like me, do not want to be the can getting endlessly kicked down the road, or so they say.

Give me a problem and I will run for my own sake, give me a solution and I will fight to the death for other people.
Weird people no longer talk of solutions, isn’t it?

Glock-N-Load (I kid you not)
Glock-N-Load (I kid you not)
December 18, 2023 9:59 am

There are only 2 groups of people that can afford kids.

1. the poor
2. the rich

I have 2 grandkids and one on the way. All three coming from my 28 year old daughter. She had her first one at the age of 23. There is NO WAY she and her husband could have any hope to have 3 kids, a home, 2 cars and a stay at home mom if he was not a trust funder. Family $$ is the only way they could have done this.

Anonymous
Anonymous
  Glock-N-Load (I kid you not)
December 18, 2023 11:33 am

” . . . if he were (not was) not a trust-funder.”

BL
BL
  Anonymous
December 18, 2023 12:29 pm

You left your child when she was 7 y/o?

Glock-N-Load (I kid you not)
Glock-N-Load (I kid you not)
  BL
December 18, 2023 4:52 pm

Huh?

BL
BL
  Glock-N-Load (I kid you not)
December 18, 2023 4:55 pm

You’ve been with your lady 21 years, daughter is 28. Maybe I’m remembering wrong.

Anonymous
Anonymous
December 18, 2023 10:10 am

It takes half a lifetime to be able to discern the difference between a need and a want. If keeping up with the Joneses is costing you too much, you can sell the second car, vacation home, all the man toys, cook from scratch, refuse to buy new electronics, and move to a more affordable area. You don’t do it because you somehow seem to think you would lose face, well, guess what. The Joneses have been trying to keep up with you. Wife can stay home and get pregnant but won’t because the image is demeaning. Who cares what they think.

GNL The Real GNL
GNL The Real GNL
  Anonymous
December 18, 2023 12:11 pm

What’s the average pay in America, 23/hr or something?

Can anyone show me where in America a man making 23/hr can support 3 kids, a mortgage, 2 cars and a stay at home mom IN A SAFE NEIGHBORHOOD?

Anonymous
Anonymous
  GNL The Real GNL
December 18, 2023 12:26 pm

comment image

.
. . . and the MIC.

GNL The Real GNL
GNL The Real GNL
December 18, 2023 1:04 pm

Really want to fix it?

1. Good jobs without needing to go into college debt. College prolongs family formation.
2. Affordable HOUSES. Not condos.
3. Women stop competing with men.
4. Close the border.
5. Deport deport deport en mass.

Anonymous
Anonymous
  GNL The Real GNL
December 18, 2023 10:26 pm

First, end the fed.

Anonymous
Anonymous
  GNL The Real GNL
December 19, 2023 6:34 am

End Welfare.

Gaping sphincter
Gaping sphincter
December 18, 2023 3:32 pm

Niggers and spicks on govt programs seem to have no problem raising 5 or 6 ferals.

Bauls
Bauls
  Gaping sphincter
December 18, 2023 11:17 pm

I mentioned before I and the wife had 8. I make a decent income, but we live kinda redneck, she stays and homeschools. I recently got my most expensive vehicle ever at 15k so we living the high life, but we kinda go with the go forth and multiply. I found me a great woman