Conservatives Uncover Democrat Plot To Turn Taylor Swift Into An International Pop Star And The Kansas City Chiefs Into A Dynasty So Swift Could Date A Chiefs Player And Leverage The Collective Media Coverage To Get Joe Biden Re-Elected

Via The Babylon Bee

U.S. — In a shocking discovery sure to shake America to its core, conservatives announced they have uncovered a secret plot by the Democratic Party to turn Taylor Swift into an international pop star and the Kansas City Chiefs into a football dynasty so Swift could then date a Kansas City player and leverage the collective media coverage to get Joseph R. Biden, Jr. elected as President.

The conspiracy, confirmed by the sharpest conservative minds on social media, alleges that Swift’s rise to the top of the music and pop culture spheres and the ascendance of the Chiefs to join other storied championship franchises in NFL history did not happen by mere coincidence, but instead were orchestrated down to the smallest detail by high-ranking powerbrokers to make sure the media storm generated by Swift’s romance with Chiefs tight end Travis Kelce could ensure Biden’s re-election.

“This is obviously an op,” said one popular right-wing social media personality. “You mean to tell me that a singer-songwriter who has been popular for nearly two decades just happens to start dating an All-Pro tight end on a team that just happened to recently start winning Super Bowls for the first time in 50 years? Really? You people are such sheep. Wake up! Democrats have been planning this for years!”

At publishing time, the growing romance between Swift and Kelce that has captivated the world was being prepared to take center stage at the upcoming Super Bowl, which conservative conspiracy theorists allege will simply be a massive Democrat voter registration operation.

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19 Comments
Aunt Acid
Aunt Acid
January 31, 2024 8:06 pm

Clown World is actual, concrete and happening in real time.

Auntie needs a vodka and tonic, stat.

According to Hoyle
According to Hoyle
January 31, 2024 8:06 pm

Kinda sounds like the truth.
Thankfully, they are both jabbed.

Diogenes' Dung
Diogenes' Dung
  According to Hoyle
January 31, 2024 8:45 pm

Didn’t read the article; didn’t need to.

Two, lilly-white, multi-millionaires flaunting their family’s White Supremacist lives in an owner’s luxurious sports stadium suite, paid for by taxpayers, without a shred of white guilt.

See any Sambo’s next to TK’s near- naked, beer-guzzling brother? Great game, btw.

This pairing, in front of the whole world, of the Icon of Gridiron Virility and the pampered, Singing Idol of “Woe is me” is real? Really?

How do they become a sports world focus, media darlings and talk of the town when there is not ONE TV commercial with a couple that are both white, heterosexual, successful and “have everything” without adopting even one black crack baby?

What does Occam’s Razor say?

They’re next to have their heads lopped off by a MAGA jihadist.

It would give all Demoncrats squirts of MSMBC dopamine for months of breathless reportage.

John Brown
John Brown
  Diogenes' Dung
January 31, 2024 10:25 pm

The Chiefs roster has about 70% non-White players. But wait, in the last week or so pictures of Ms Swift in the VIP box have started to have one or two non-White fellows in view. Why not 7 of 10 women shown are player’s wives of the correct color? The girl is learning, but ever so slowly.

As Hank Stram said, “It looks like a Chinese fire drill over there”.

BTW, KCMO has a 1% earnings tax, paid by everyone who lives or works inside the city limits-been that way for over 60 years. That’s how things like twin sports stadiums get built. Go Chiefs!

Anonylol
Anonylol
January 31, 2024 8:38 pm

Sharpest conservative minds

Lol

Anonymous
Anonymous
January 31, 2024 8:57 pm

Man hands!
Yikes!

Me
Me
January 31, 2024 10:04 pm

Talk about white privilege sheeeesh….

What are the odds on this one? Smart money is on KC to win.

Rifles are the Cure
Rifles are the Cure
February 1, 2024 12:53 am

Kudos to the Bee for mocking both libtards and Q-tards with equal glee.
On the other hand, if l had a nickel for every time the Bee headlines foretold unfolding events, I’d have enough to buy a tall, cold beer!
Keep up the fine work , you satirical wizards!

zappalives
zappalives
February 1, 2024 1:58 am

Why is this democrat skank-ho hanging with WHITE guys instead of niggers ?
Pretty fucking rayciss if you ask me.

Dangerous Variant
Dangerous Variant
  zappalives
February 1, 2024 8:23 am

Because even though every teevee show and advertisement suggests otherwise, most White women still prefer their own kind.

So this particular campaign needs to be relatable to the women who see themselves as the power-bottom girl teaching grok how to be a real man by being a jabbed-up democrat shill.

And for the sporsbois, who see themselves as the two-time all league back in high school player, its another shiv of humiliation and divisive sex politk to have their woman, real and imagined, going full democrat see you next Tuesday on them in one of the last legal redoubts for facsimiles of masculinity.

Gotta hand it to those “marketing” fags. When they aren’t being heavy handed brutalist merchants of satanic inversion, they can be crafty, even if this sort of cross-promotional set-up is quite tedious at this point. You go with what works, I reckon.

Lou
Lou
  zappalives
February 1, 2024 11:59 pm

Zap, once foosball season is over she will find a new lover over in the NBA. “Nice knowin ya, Trav-you just ain’t my type”.

RealWorldisOrganic
RealWorldisOrganic
February 1, 2024 10:07 am

You can smell this non organic relationship from a million miles away. They are using Hollywood old’s trick for social engineering (star falling in love). This time they are mixing moronic sports fans with music fans
Fake fake fake

At least we know who is going to win their Super toilet bowl

SimpleMind Destroying Illusions
SimpleMind Destroying Illusions
  RealWorldisOrganic
February 1, 2024 7:31 pm

Warning! Don’t Go All-in.

Lou
Lou
  RealWorldisOrganic
February 2, 2024 12:12 am

They will each get a $ hundred million, tax free for their endorsement of Sniffer Joe; a lot cheaper than what Dominion charges.

Anonymous
Anonymous
February 1, 2024 12:15 pm

Maybe I shouldn’t, but I’m hoping for some extra psyop at this years Superb Owl.

Oldtoad of Green Acres
Oldtoad of Green Acres
February 1, 2024 1:54 pm

After their next Pfizzer MNRA booster, he will get pregnant wif impacted, triplets of multi-gendered, mixed race babbies.
Tay-tay will leave Kelce for Patrick after complaining about his kids.
NFL will sponsor Tay-tay’s next tour.

Anonymous
Anonymous
  Oldtoad of Green Acres
February 2, 2024 12:13 am

and roger goodall will carry her bags.

The Orangutan
The Orangutan
February 1, 2024 3:03 pm

Well of course its got to be KC in the Stuperbowl. Can’t have a blue collar backwater like Buffalo be representin’ . The Smoking Man is a Canadian actor and is still alive…..

Anonymous
Anonymous
  The Orangutan
February 2, 2024 12:16 am

If only San Fran had any power brokers left. Never should have let all those street shitters take over.