U.S. — In a shocking discovery sure to shake America to its core, conservatives announced they have uncovered a secret plot by the Democratic Party to turn Taylor Swift into an international pop star and the Kansas City Chiefs into a football dynasty so Swift could then date a Kansas City player and leverage the collective media coverage to get Joseph R. Biden, Jr. elected as President.
The conspiracy, confirmed by the sharpest conservative minds on social media, alleges that Swift’s rise to the top of the music and pop culture spheres and the ascendance of the Chiefs to join other storied championship franchises in NFL history did not happen by mere coincidence, but instead were orchestrated down to the smallest detail by high-ranking powerbrokers to make sure the media storm generated by Swift’s romance with Chiefs tight end Travis Kelce could ensure Biden’s re-election.
“This is obviously an op,” said one popular right-wing social media personality. “You mean to tell me that a singer-songwriter who has been popular for nearly two decades just happens to start dating an All-Pro tight end on a team that just happened to recently start winning Super Bowls for the first time in 50 years? Really? You people are such sheep. Wake up! Democrats have been planning this for years!”
At publishing time, the growing romance between Swift and Kelce that has captivated the world was being prepared to take center stage at the upcoming Super Bowl, which conservative conspiracy theorists allege will simply be a massive Democrat voter registration operation.
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Clown World is actual, concrete and happening in real time.
Auntie needs a vodka and tonic, stat.
Kinda sounds like the truth.
Thankfully, they are both jabbed.
Didn’t read the article; didn’t need to.
Two, lilly-white, multi-millionaires flaunting their family’s White Supremacist lives in an owner’s luxurious sports stadium suite, paid for by taxpayers, without a shred of white guilt.
See any Sambo’s next to TK’s near- naked, beer-guzzling brother? Great game, btw.
This pairing, in front of the whole world, of the Icon of Gridiron Virility and the pampered, Singing Idol of “Woe is me” is real? Really?
How do they become a sports world focus, media darlings and talk of the town when there is not ONE TV commercial with a couple that are both white, heterosexual, successful and “have everything” without adopting even one black crack baby?
What does Occam’s Razor say?
They’re next to have their heads lopped off by a MAGA jihadist.
It would give all Demoncrats squirts of MSMBC dopamine for months of breathless reportage.
The Chiefs roster has about 70% non-White players. But wait, in the last week or so pictures of Ms Swift in the VIP box have started to have one or two non-White fellows in view. Why not 7 of 10 women shown are player’s wives of the correct color? The girl is learning, but ever so slowly.
As Hank Stram said, “It looks like a Chinese fire drill over there”.
BTW, KCMO has a 1% earnings tax, paid by everyone who lives or works inside the city limits-been that way for over 60 years. That’s how things like twin sports stadiums get built. Go Chiefs!
Sharpest conservative minds
Lol
Man hands!
Yikes!
Talk about white privilege sheeeesh….
What are the odds on this one? Smart money is on KC to win.
Kudos to the Bee for mocking both libtards and Q-tards with equal glee.
On the other hand, if l had a nickel for every time the Bee headlines foretold unfolding events, I’d have enough to buy a tall, cold beer!
Keep up the fine work , you satirical wizards!
Why is this democrat skank-ho hanging with WHITE guys instead of niggers ?
Pretty fucking rayciss if you ask me.
Because even though every teevee show and advertisement suggests otherwise, most White women still prefer their own kind.
So this particular campaign needs to be relatable to the women who see themselves as the power-bottom girl teaching grok how to be a real man by being a jabbed-up democrat shill.
And for the sporsbois, who see themselves as the two-time all league back in high school player, its another shiv of humiliation and divisive sex politk to have their woman, real and imagined, going full democrat see you next Tuesday on them in one of the last legal redoubts for facsimiles of masculinity.
Gotta hand it to those “marketing” fags. When they aren’t being heavy handed brutalist merchants of satanic inversion, they can be crafty, even if this sort of cross-promotional set-up is quite tedious at this point. You go with what works, I reckon.
Zap, once foosball season is over she will find a new lover over in the NBA. “Nice knowin ya, Trav-you just ain’t my type”.
You can smell this non organic relationship from a million miles away. They are using Hollywood old’s trick for social engineering (star falling in love). This time they are mixing moronic sports fans with music fans
Fake fake fake
At least we know who is going to win their Super toilet bowl
Warning! Don’t Go All-in.
They will each get a $ hundred million, tax free for their endorsement of Sniffer Joe; a lot cheaper than what Dominion charges.
Maybe I shouldn’t, but I’m hoping for some extra psyop at this years Superb Owl.
After their next Pfizzer MNRA booster, he will get pregnant wif impacted, triplets of multi-gendered, mixed race babbies.
Tay-tay will leave Kelce for Patrick after complaining about his kids.
NFL will sponsor Tay-tay’s next tour.
and roger goodall will carry her bags.
Well of course its got to be KC in the Stuperbowl. Can’t have a blue collar backwater like Buffalo be representin’ . The Smoking Man is a Canadian actor and is still alive…..
If only San Fran had any power brokers left. Never should have let all those street shitters take over.