U.S. — O.J. Simpson has passed away from cancer at the age of 76. According to sources from the afterlife, the former football star is looking forward to asking God who really killed his ex-wife Nicole Brown Simpson.
“I’ve been racking my brains for decades trying to figure out who may have done it,” said Simpson. “It will be great to have all my questions finally laid to rest. I really can’t imagine who might have committed such a crime.”
At publishing time, O.J. Simpson’s questions unfortunately remained unanswered after a majority-black jury declared him “not dead.”
Police Slowly Escort White Hearse Containing O.J. Simpson
LOS ANGELES, CA — Mourners and curious onlookers alike gathered along the 405 freeway in Southern California to bear witness as Los Angeles Police vehicles slowly escorted a white For Bronco hearse containing O.J. Simpson.
The procession, which traveled at a low speed with law enforcement working to prohibit any other vehicles from getting on the freeway, allowed onlookers to have one final chance to see Simpson being followed by police officers.
“One last time, for old time’s sake,” said one witness who watched the white Bronco roll by followed by dozens of police cruisers. “He died as he lived. It’s poetic when you think about it. And you have to feel for the police, too. They never really did catch him, did they? And yet here they are, still pursuing him. Really makes you think.”
An LAPD spokesman described the mood of the procession. “We felt it was important,” said Officer Reginald Johnson. “We began our pursuit of the perp — sorry, we began escorting the procession for the deceased as it left the Brentwood area and continued to follow until it reached its destination. We advised officers to keep a close eye on the hearse to make sure it wasn’t trying to flee. You just never know.”
At publishing time, crowds along the road were cheering as O.J. stayed ahead of the police one last time. “He did it again!” said onlooker Shawn Grimes. “I mean, he didn’t ‘do it.’ That’s not what I meant. Sorry, that was a poor choice of words.”
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And now , ladies and gentlemen , the next big distraction.
RIP?
I’d prefer he RIH.
Nicole was a beautiful woman.
Shame. She should have stayed true to her ethnic identity.
She’d still be alive today.
toll paid
100%
Stupid byatch chased fame and fortune.
Vaxxed and then prostate cancer.
I wonder if he succumbed to those old ladies and their bad influences which led him down that addictive path starting with potted herbs in the window all the way down to full blown Gardening.
Those pesky kids at the Bee.
died of cancer. not knife wounds.
He and Satan already know.
Bill and Hillary said Nicole and Ron committed suicide by slitting their own throats.
Good headline.
Nicole Brown would have lived if she was smart enough to carry a pistol in her purse. Of course then she’d probably still be in prison now for killing a ‘national treasure’
I see no conflict of interest in OJ and the Armageddon promising God of Abrahamic scripture having a close relationship. Just look at the chosen people of the Old Testament and their 4000 year history of the complete destruction of great nations. Long predating the Khazar narrative. The Talmud justifies murder of Goyim in the same language the Bible justifies the genocide of great nations down to the last woman, child, and beast of the field.
Nothing wrong with spirituality, unless one reaches for the nearest spoon fed mainstream narrative, without asking oneself the tough questions. If mainstream narratives served the truth, most of us here would be looking at CNN or MSN, instead of being here searching for real answers. Shouldn’t we at least give as much consideration to the spiritual?