The Glaucomic Google Car

Guest Post by Eric Peters

Old people tend not to drive fast. Or even the speed limit.old coot lead

They sometimes drive into things, too.

This is understandable. They are, after all, old.

One day – if we’re lucky – we’ll all be old.

What grates is the deliberate obliviousness of some older drivers. Nothing like getting caught behind an old coot in an ’87 Buick doing 27 on a road posted 55 … slowing for the curves. Who won’t pull over, ever – no matter how many other cars are stacked up behind him.   

Why? Is it Old People’s Revenge?

Well, now imagine what’s going to happen when the Google Car takes the wheel – and drives these decrepit oldsters around.

They’ll go just as slowly.

Because the cars will be programmed to drive at a senior citizen pace. Walking-speed “acceleration” when the light goes green. Slowing to an almost-stop even if the light is green (you never know, it might change at any moment!).google car accident

And forget about passing anyone.

Ever.   

None of that is new. It’d what old people do.

Only now – courtesy of Google – there’ll be lots of glaucomic old farts out there gumming up the works instead of just the occasional one in his ’87 Buick. We will be trapped behind them, forced to operate at their Metamucil-addled level.

Continue reading “The Glaucomic Google Car”