WAL-MART FREAKS OF THE WEEK

Then, like a true baller, he just closes the umbrella & makes it rain on dem hoes.

You look like a rodeo calf tied up too tight. Just kinda there, all confused, fat popping out the sides. Not good.

I’m almost certain the man who took this picture had his dick ripped off seconds later. In fact, I’m sorta thinking anyone who makes eye contact with her gets their dick ripped off. Like a dick-ripping Madusa.

When your grandmother makes you clothes but you live under her roof so you don’t want to hurt her feelings.

Sooooo you’re saying she’s available?

So which set of antennas would you rather rock?

Is she wearing shorts? Maybe, maybe not. I’m still convinced she painted her buttcrack tan…

“We put the last nail in the coffin!”

Maybe our pals over at WTFtattoos.com can chime in on today’s “Who Wears It Better?” skanky tattoo edition.

Relationship Goal: Unable to embarrass one another.

Everything comes in bulk over at Walmart’s sister store Sam’s.

Ya know, I always thought Yankee Doodle sounded a little crazy in that rhyme.

This is like the climactic chase scene in every shoot-em-up movie. I’m just waiting for this kid to make his move and go in for the kill.

Lookin’ like George Clinton’s mistress.

Buttwings….Sounds like the worst superhero ever.

LET IT GO! LET IT GO! Seriously, let that shit go. You are a grown woman.

I’m sure he’s got some cool story about how his pants shred. Like maybe it was from a charging bull or, more than likely, the time he got drunk and stuck a bottle rocket in his ass and lit it.

Didn’t know they stuck a Walmart in the middle of Burning Man. And since you’re all thinking about it, I’ll just go ahead and leave Crazy Town right here for you.

When our children grow up and have tiny microchips implanted in them or something else cool I hope this picture is still around so they can see how ridiculous we looked when we all thought it would be a good idea to start increasing the size of our phones again.

See more freaks at People of Wal-Mart