Avalon went to NYC earlier this week with her friend to see The Daily Show, while I slaved away at work. The took the train from Trenton and got off in Penn Station. Everything was going according to plan. They just needed to catch a cab to their hotel and then off to the show. Sometime around noon I received a text about her most embarrassing moment ever. They exited Penn Station pulling their luggage and headed toward the taxi area. It was a hot humid day, so Avalon was wearing a sun dress. As they approached the taxi area they walked over a grate and to Avalon’s surprise, there was a tremendous amount of air shooting up from the grate. WOOSH!!! Her sun dress went skywards revealing all there was to reveal. Two construction workers were standing nearby and yelled out “Hey Marilyn Monroe”. Instead of low keying it, Avalon had screamed when the dress flew up. Not a smart thing to do with thousands of New Yawkers walking on the street on a workday if you want no one to notice. Her embarrassment was complete as she then had to wait in line for the next ten minutes to get a cab. Surely the NSA or Bloomberg must have film of the episode. I can’t wait to see it on the internet.
Let’s have a competition. Whoever reveals the best most embarrassing moment ever gets to spend a week with SSS on vacation from his vacation in Coronado.
While living in Spain, mom sent me down to a local tasca to get two kilos of chicken wings. I had just become confident in my Spanish speaking skills. I walked in, went right to the counter confidently ordering “dos kilos de alitas de polla”. The place was packed to the gills with customers all chattering away. I immediately recognized my mistake as did every other person in the place. It was like a damn EF Hutton commercial!
The bartender just looked at me curiously and asked “seguro?” to which I replied no but it was too late. The whole damn place (about 30 people including kids) busted out in uncontrollable laughter.
The Spanish word for chicken is pollo and the slang term for a man’s dick is polla so I had ordered two kilos of dick wings! That one little vowel makes all the difference in the world!
The regulars in that place spent the next few years flipping me some good natured shit every time I went in there.
I_S
Do you guys think SSS would mind if I bring along a dime bag?
I_S
T4C you win
It’s too early to declare a winner. But T4C is going to be tough to beat.
Admin I found it, the pic is going to go viral. Poor Avalon!,
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Yeah I’d rather order a batch of dick wings than be literally shit faced!
I’m only disappointed that I won’t have the opportunity to share a dime bag with SSS.
I_S
So a few years ago when we were members at the local ymca I used the curcuit training equipment every other day. I was in much better shape than i am now but I still was a pretty big guy and could lift lots of weight. It was unusual to not have somone waiting for you to finish but after my second set I noticed that every piece had a line except the one I was on. When I moved to the next piece the guy waiting actually stepped off allowing me to be next. Wow goody for me!
About 10 minutes later with lines everywhere I decided to use the fly machine in front of the mirrors. I set the weight up and got in the harness and when I looked at the mirror everything made sense.
It seems that my left ball had decided to come out and look around. Left ball laying on the equipment, left ball laying on the seats. Left ball left ball.
Long walk out the door it was……..
While vacationing in Florida, I used to walk to a nearby gas station every morning to get a newspaper. Road traffic was very heavy so I only crossed where there were light signals. One morning I waited at a busy intersection where the cars to my left were stacked up waiting for a green light. As I stood there waiting for a crossing signal a seagull perched on a lightpost above me dropped a big load of shit that landed on my forehead and rolled down my face, while all those people in the stopped cars looked on.
The day the TBPworld, and myself, realized I had moobs.
———– AWD’s response to a pic I posted on my Occupy Wall Street thread
———– 21st October 2012 at 12:54 pm
“Stuck: Good job. You forgot to mention the smell of piss in NYC. You could have knocked out a cop or two by swinging those man-titties into action. Keep going to the gym, I recommend bench presses and dumbell flies.”
Omg! Sensetti, that pic is exactly how it went down, so funny now. But so embarrassing at the time.
I am LOVING these other stories, hilarious!
I voted for Jimmy Carter!
AAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
EF
Avalon,
Were you going Au Natural??
EF
the church i went to as a kid, would have the young’uns take the offering every now and then. i was chosen one sunday. they handed me my METAL offering plate and then we would stand at the back of the sanctuary while the pastor said a prayer. well, my bored ass 10 yr old mind thought it would be a good idea to spin the plate on my finger, not like a basketball, but vertically with my finger in the lip of the plate. needless to say it flew off, with the crashing sound of cymbals, as it hit the wood floor, and proceeded to roll to the front of the sanctuary…. that was one long walk to get that plate.
I gave a bearded friend aftershave lotion. He was puzzled to say the least!
toss up between avalon and T4C…
Since Id rather see the innocent shocked redface of an unexpected updraft to a lady rather than a shitfaced lady I’ll give the nod to avalon.
funny to avalon and sympathies to T4C. 😉
During college I spent one summer as a camp counselor in Connecticut. The clientele were kids from wealthy NYC area families.
We took our meals at long dining tables. One day the two proprietors of this fine operation were seated together at the head of my table with a if platter of spaghetti and meat balls in front of them. I was given an errand to run, and I needed to be quick about it. As I hurried by, I knocked the platter up in the air, and warm spaghetti and tomato sauce rained from the sky onto the heads of these two fine gentlemen. They literally had spaghetti and sauce dripping down their faces. You could have heard a pin drop. Why they didn’t send me packing immediately is testimony to their merciful natures.
I have embarrassed myself many a time, but this one still takes the cake.
Avalon – too funny! That happened to my daughter the other day – must have something to do with sun dresses. They really should be called “moon” dresses. They should come with weighted hems.
While wearing no bra, I’ve had my strap break on my dress – that was one of the myriad of embarrassing circumstances I’ve found myself in. Really, I’ve probably had AT LEAST 20 totally embarrassing things happen, and the bra strap pales in comparison to some of them. Occasionally, past incidents pop into my mind, and I just cringe – hands on face in disbelief – when I think of them.
My most embarrassing TBP moment: When I referred to Muckabout as the WOM of TBP, only a few weeks after the title was formally bestowed on SSS. SSS quickly corrected my error. Other than that, nope, have never been embarrassed. (Sarc off).
I notice that Avalon hasn’t responded to efarmer’s query. But that might be too much information, even for TBP.
My most embarrassing story is writing an article about embarrassing stories when I cannot even spell embarrassing. How embarrassing.
It sucks only being smart enough to be an accountant.
At least the Admin Doppler learned something in his Ivy League spelling class.
To really take part in this thought experiment Admin has proposed, you have to imagine his wife in her underwear (or worse), which makes me uncomfortable, like leering at somebody else’s wife. Does admin really want to turn us into peeping Toms? Yeah, sure, it’s okay if it’s a single girl like Kate Upton, but a married woman? It’s wrong I tell you, simply wrong.
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T4C
Not a problem. I always enjoy grabbing the extra large forceps and pulling a huge black dildo out of some guys ass, with all the entrails still attached, and the “Santorum” (see urban dictionary for a definition). Almost as fun as trying to intubate a 400lb boomer and they puke all over you just as your plumbing their vocal cords. Thanks God for masks and gowns.
Oh, there are so many.
When I was a medical student on my surgical rortation, we were tasked to work in the “suture room” of our large public hospital in downtown Houston.
This was the old hospital that was built in the early 1960s and had evidence of old “black” and “white” bathrooms and drinking fountains. To my knowledge, it never passed a fire inspection as patients/stretchers were stacked all over the place and it was always at 120% of capacity.
One night some spanish speaking only guy was brought in covered in horse shit (bright green) and vomit (multi colored) and multiple scalp lacerations. He also had a blood alcohol level of >0.2. Turns out he was out at the horse track and somehow got into a horse stall, passed out (in the shit), regurgitated his tacos and tequila and the horses promptly let him know what he thought of that.
So, of course, once his CT brain did not show fracture, he was wheeled into the “suture room”
for the med students and surgical interns to deal with. Well, you know that saying about shit rolling, literally, downhill, and since I was the most junior person there, he was put in my little corner of paradise.
Well, I had no way to get all that stuff off him with the standard methods of lavage available to me, so I wheeled him onto the loading dock where I knew there was a hose as the paramedics used it to hose off their ambulances.
Yes, I know what you are thinking – HZK – using tap water to clean out a head wound? Well, the tap water was certainly cleaner that what was currently ground into his scalp and all down his clothes. Besides, it was 5 am, I had been up almost 24 hours, was hungry and really really pissed off. It was August in Houston, so even at 5 am it was still 80 degrees outside.
I stripped him down to his underwear and proceeded to hose him off. He began to sing in Spanish and it was all going pretty well until the ER Director, the Chief Surgical Resident, Chief Internal Medicine Resident and the head of EMS for all of Houston, pulled up for their morning meeting.
I thought for sure I would be fired on the spot but all I got was a nod and a comment on my creative use of the resources at hand.
Hope/AWD/T4C – I certainly appreciate the grossness factor youse all can bring to the party, but in reality those stories are not so embarrassing as gross, and involve grossness perpetrated upon you by others. That really does not qualify for the prize – maybe it would win if there was a prize for the grossest thing that ever happened to someone. We need to hear from the Mexican, relating his side of the story.
My spell checker was working. Otherwise, I thought it was spelled embarasing. 🙂
my boss said he and the guys from work rented a boat for the day and later when they were offloading, bobby, whose hands were full, stepped on the edge of the boat and just made it on the dock before the boat sank. the following year when they showed up to rent a boat the owner began to tell the story of a bunch of guys who sank his boat, he abused those guys and their relatives all the way back to adam. bobby whispered to my boss, you know he’s talking about us, don’t you? no one said a word.
“Hope/AWD/T4C – I certainly appreciate the grossness factor youse all can bring to the party, but in reality those stories are not so embarrassing as gross, and involve grossness perpetrated upon you by others. That really does not qualify for the prize.”
—-llpoh
The Choctaw Indian and Consummate Resident Businessman continues to bring great wisdom and insight to TBP. He is correct.
But, there must be applause for …….. our resident medical professionals who have contributed so much to help to our fellow citizens and gain insight with what they have to deal.
A big salute to you folks.
Hiya SSS – hope the vacation is going great!