Go ahead, make fun of soccer. Never mind that 2 billion people will be watching it. Go ahead and tell me about “bread and circuses” …. as if you don’t have your favorite entertainment distraction. Surely — “don’t call me Shirly!!” — SOMEONE here played ute soccer, or have their own offspring-utes playing soccer …. not to mention all our overseas guests, and folks like El Burrito (go Mehico!!)
So, I actually created a Bracket Group on ESPN. It’s called “Village Idiots”, (really) and the motto is “Start the damn revolution”. You can use your SAME name as in the basketball bracket, otherwise, just create one on ESPN. It’s fast and easy. You can fill out as many brackets as you want. There’s no password. Just click the link below;
http://games.espn.go.com/world-cup-bracket-predictor/2014/en/group?groupID=40417
Just one quirk. If (and that’s a BIG if) you enter, you must choose ALL the teams for EACH round before going to the next round. That’s because, unlike basketball, not every team stays in the same group. Only the winner of a group stays in the same group, the second place team in a group goes to another group. It sounds complicated, but it’s not. Again, just complete each round in its entirety before going to the next round.
If you want to play, but you’re a Soccer Moron … here’s a little insider help for you.
First of all, do NOT judge a team according to the seedings. The seedings (and, rankings) are determined by FIFA, and it’s a complete and utter joke, trust me. So, below are the Groups, their ranking by the much more reliable Soccer Power Index (SPI), their chances of winning it all, and some Stucky commentary.
Note: The “odds” is an unusual and complicated system by oddsshark.com — about as reliable as any odds-maker out there. What you need to know: The LOWER the number (even into negative territory), the HIGHER the odds of that team winning it all.
First, here is a pictorial representation of the teams.
Teams below are listed in order of SPI ranking. The format is — (Team — SPI Ranking ——— Odds of Winning)
Group A
Brazil ………. 1 …… -400
Mexico …..… 26 ….. 900
Croatia …….. 31 ….. 800
Cameroon … 39 ….. 2500
BRAZIL — MORTAL LOCK!! Not enough that they’re the #1 team in the world, they are playing in front of wild-assed crazyfuk fans. They will get ALL the calls. Home field advantage in soccer is worth a .58 goal advantage … a HUGE number. They’re going to the FINAL game. You’re a dumbass, or fanatical fan of another team, to believe otherwise. Very many experts believe they should just give Brazil the trophy now, and be done with it.
MEXICO — Second place (the other team going to the next round) is a tossup between Mexico and Croatia. Mexico has been HISTORICALLY disappointing in the World Cup. They’ll have a big advantage over Croatia if the playing conditions are hot and humid. Croatians will have the advantage if there’s a head of lettuce growing on or near the playing field. I’m not picking Mehico to advance. I hope this pisses off El Coyote.
CROATIA – The Croats have one of soccer’s best midfielders, Luka Modric, who starts for the best team in the world, Real Madrid. The White House was built with Croatian limestones. Da boyz got stones. Pick ‘em.
CAMEROON — “Cameroon” comes from a Portuguese phrase meaning Shrimp River. It’s also Austrian for “No fucking way.”. The only ting they’re leaving Brazil with is the clap.
Group B
Spain ……..…… 3 ..….. -135
Chile ……..……. 5 …….. 225
Netherlands …. 9 ……. -400
Australia …..…. 53 ……. 3300
SPAIN — Mortal Lock. Probably the best team, top to bottom. A roster filled with All Stars. The Spanish team as currently constructed is considered one of, if not the best, national teams of all time. They won the last two Euro titles as well as the 2010 World Cup. The players can walk on water. The coach once fed an entire stadium, even though he had only 5 tacos and 2 sardines in his lunchbox.
CHILE — They are VERY long and skinny. Oh, wait …. that’s their country. Don’t underestimate this VERY good team …… except …. their star midfielder, Arturo Vidal, is just recovering from knee surgery. Without him playing very well, they’ll have a tough time taking 2nd place from the Netherlands.
NETHERLANDS — Was in the last WC final against Spain … where they played like cheap dicks. Even their own legendary player, Johan Cruyff, said they played “ugly, vulgar, hard, hermetic, hardly eye-catching, hardly football style”. Haven’t been playing great lately, getting trounced in the Euro 2012 tournament. If they can pull their dicks out of the dyke, they just might advance.
AUSTRALIA – Get some Brazilian pussy. Go home. Call it a good outing.
Group C
Colombia …..… 6 ….. -150
Ivory Coast ….. 18 ….. 400
Greece …….….. 23 ….. 400
Japan …………. 32 ….. 900
COLUMBIA —- Yet another very strong South American team. Many have Colombia as the tournament’s best underdog. Many years ago USA played Columbia in the WC. Some player scored an “own goal”. About two months after he returned to Columbia, he was murdered. Colombian players have a lot of incentive to not fuck up.
IVORY COAST — ANY of the other teams can advance to the next round. But, this team only appeared in two WCs and never advanced out of group stage. Not that it matters, but they make great soaps which float.
GREECE — 55% of the utes in Greece graduate with a four-year college degree, which is the highest rate in the world. 25% of them are unemployed and have beautiful hair. In ancient Greece, after a goal was scored, the opposing players would fuck their goalie in the ass. That’s all I know about Greek soccer.
JAPAN — I really don’t like Japs. They’re still hunting and killing whales. That wasn’t good enough for them, so now they want to kill everything in the Pacific Ocean. Plus, their women’s team beat the USA in the last WC final. Fuck Japan and their slanty eyes.
Group D
Uruguay ……. 8 ….. 180
England ……. 10 ….. 225
Italy ……..….. 13 ….. 150
Costa Rica …. 25 ….. 5000
URUGUAY — Jeezus, how many very good teams are there in SA?? But, this is a really tough group. However, they have waaay to many fuckin’ “U”s in their name. No country with that many “U”s has ever won it all. They rely on two super-duper players …. the rest of the team is rather average. They went as far as the semis in the 2010 WC, and won the 2011 COPA. They also lost to crappy teams. Which team shows up, nobody knows.
ENGLAND –— Is there a MORE historically disappointing team in the WC? Well, is there, punk? NO!! The Brits invented a word to describe their soccer teams …. WANKERS. I’m not picking them, evah.
ITALY — A historic European powerhouse. This year’s team is comprised largely with the same players from the last WC, four years ago. Translation … this team is OLD, in terms of soccer. They’ll advance, but only because Costa Rica sucks, and England Wankers always fuck up.
COSTA RICA — This country is sandwiched between Nicaragua and Panama, and yet somehow they don’t give a shit about baseball. Dumbasses. They also don’t care about soccer, and they have zero chance of advancing.
Group E
France ……..….. 7 ….. -125
Ecuador ……….11 …… 350
Switzerland …..22 ….. 250
Honduras ……. 33 ….. 3300
FRANCE — True story, google it; “French foreign intelligence services bombed Greenpeace’s ship, the Rainbow Warrior, on July 10, 1985. The ship was targeted to prevent it from interfering in French nuclear testing in the Pacific.” They BOMBED Greenpeace!! Why? Cuz the Greepeace ship had no guns. I don’t like the French. I’m not going to do a search to give you all a little tidbit. I don’t give a shit about that country. Arrogant little fuckers think swapping spit was their invention!
ECUADOR — Krist Almighty, another very good SA team. No analysis. Fuckit. I’m not picking them. Why? Cuz no way in hell will ALL South American teams advance. I gotta pick a scapegoat loser. Might as well be Ecuador. They’re used to it.
SWITZERLAND — This is the most interesting team in the entire field. German coach, several Germanic players = Germany Light. An interesting tidbit; unlike most teams, this team does not have a single “superstar”. If you like team-play, you’ll love this team. They lost only 1 of 18 games in qualifying. The Under-17 World Cup is an excellent indicator of a team’s future success. The Swiss won the 2009 Under-17 World Cup. You know who won the last World Cup? Spain. Do you know who was the only team to beat Spain? Yup, the Swiss. They’re more experienced, and better. Can they be THE Dark Horse this year? I think so. Once the USA gets booted, and should Germany falter, I will be cheering mightily for the Swiss.
HONDURAS –— Ever heard of the Soccer War? Yup. Honduras and El Salvador player three times in order to qualify for the 1970 World Cup. El Salvador won 2 of 3 games, and qualified. Honduras got to pick bananas, the people got vewy vewy angry, and fucked up a bunch of El Salvadorans via riots and general mayhem. Naturally, the Salvadoran military launched an attack against Honduras. Seems like a good response to me. The war only lasted 100 hours. However, it took another 11 fucking years for the two countries to sign a peace treaty. Ain’t that some funny shit?? Did you know they have the world’s highest murder rate? Honduras CAN advance out of group play …. but, only IF all the players are allowed to bring Glocks.
Group F
Argentina ……….. 2 .….. -400
Bosnia-Herz. ….. 14 …… 600
Nigeria ………..…. 28 ….. 800
Iran ……………….. 38 ….. 3300
ARGENTINA — South American …. fuckmedead!! … 2nd ranked team in the world …. Mortal Lock …. blah blah blah …. just pick ‘em all the way to semis.
BOSNIA-HERZ —- Amazing story that such a small and new country is so good at soccer. Did you know they have the only remaining jungle in Europe? It’s called the Perućica forest … has many trees that are 300 years old, and the forest’s vintage is stated to be 20,000 years. In some places the forest growth is almost impregnable. 10 more really truly fascinating facts about Bosnia here —- http://www.expatsblog.com/contests/799/top-10-crazy-things-about-living-in-bosnia-and-herzegovina#sthash.onfw30Kp.dpuf Pick ‘em!!
NIGERIA — here’s all you need to know … they lost last week to the USA, 2-1 … and it was much uglier for them than the score indicates. They suck Obongo dick. Also, someone from Nigeria is trying to scam you right this very moment.
IRAN — Iran???? WTF are they doing in the WC?? Good thing their first game, or any other, isn’t against Da Joos. I leave it to our own beloved ZARATHUSTRA to enlighten us on Iranian soccer. I’m betting Ahura Mazda was Player-Of-The-Year back in 24,678B.C.
Group G — The Group of Death
Germany ………. 4 …… -180
Portugal ………. 16 …… 275
United States … 17 …… 1000
Ghana …………. 24 …… 1200
GERMANY — Deutschland Uber Alles!!! Undefeated in the qualification stage ….. scoring 36 goals in 10 games ….. in the TOP 2 (or, 3) in offensive firepower ….. really, they don’t show any weaknesses at this point. Mortal Lock. Angela Merkel told the players if they lose, all of them will have to lick her pussy … after Obongo boinks her. This is a huge incentive to never lose, and that’s why I’m picking them to win it all. (Yes, I know they’re playing Brazil in Brazil.)
PORTUGAL — Just because Portugal’s national symbol is a chicken, doesn’t mean they will choke the chicken. Why? One name …. Cristiano Ronaldo …. pretty much unanimously considered the best player in the world. And the rest of the team ain’t to shabby either.
USA — this may be one of the best National Teams in a long while … young, fast, skilled, and with a World Class goalkeeper, Tim Howard . BUT, we got really FUCKED over by being placed in this group … thanks to FIFA’s totally corrupt and bullshit ranking system. If they get out of group play, I will call USA’s coach, Jurgen Klinsmann, — the great former German national player — and offer to lick his balls.
GHANA — there is no team in this year’s WC that I HATE/LOATHE/DESPISE more than Ghana … the team that knocked us out of the past two World Cups …. the last time by a last second goal in overtime. I hope half the team takes a dip in the Amazon and piranhas chew off their dicks, and the other half drinks the water and they get the shits … while playing. Not very sportsmanlike, I know. Don’t give a shit. G.E.S.
Group H
Belgium ………. 12 ….. -175
Russia ………… 15 ……. 200
South Korea … 37 ……. 750
Algeria .………..69 ……. 2800
BELGIUM —- what’s the FIRST thing you think of when Belgium is mentioned? I guarantee it’s either 1) legal drugs, 2) legal pay-for-pussy, or 3) waffles. They also have a powerful soccer team with a reputation as Giant Killers having beaten eventual World Cup winners; West Germany in 1954, Brazil in 1963, Argentina in 1982, and France in 2002. Betting against them, especially in group play, is just plain silly.
RUSSIA — Top Secret insider info what you need to know; Putin will be playing as a striker. A Mortal Lock for 2nd place. Did you know the land mass of Russia is equal to that of Pluto? Also, Russia is colder.
SOUTH KOREA — I mean, why allow Asian teams to play in the WC? It’s not like they EVER won the WC …. or EVER will. Nevertheless, I love our new Hyundai. Too bad they can’t play a similar quality of fussball. Goddamn, I love S. Korea’s president!!!! In response to criticism that the government botched rescue efforts during a ferry disaster that left more than 300 dead or missing, president Park Geun-hye announced plans to DISBAND THE COAST GUARD. Taking the bull by the horns and not ducking out?? That’s so … so …. soooo Un-Obama-ish!!!
ALGERIA — Fuckin’ Mooslims. WTF? Algeria’s national team name is the Fennec Foxes. Below is a Fennec Fox. Cuter than cute. But, using a Woman’s Method Of Choosing Teams — team colors and/or the mascot — I ask you; “Is this a mascot that could win at …. anything??” Those ears. Yikes! It looks like an animal created by the NSA. Not the worst team in the field, but absolutely zero chance of advancing.
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It seems, from what I’ve read, that some (many?) Brazilians are pretty pissed off at the COST of these games, much of it (as usual) falling on those with the least amount of money. Still … Brazil is one country I’d love to see before I croak. It looks like such a beautiful and diverse country. Breathtaking, in many cases. Check it out …
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cZ2mPAMUhk8&feature=player_detailpage
And for you guys, except bb, they say Brazilian women are amongst the world’s most beautiful. I see no reason to dispute that.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=chybMnfbih0&feature=player_detailpage
“stucky, i hope you don’t mind that i shared your story. but i couldn’t resist.” —– archie
Don’t mind at all! I give kudos for telling it EXACTLY as it happened, right down to the smallest detail.
Frenchie doesn’t understand sarcasm humor. I don’t really hate the French PEOPLE …. I do think their government is worthless, though. Last week at the Farmers Market there’s a new vendor ….. sells only raw honey and honey products, including honey soap. Anyway, the owner is French. Ms Freud and he chatted in French for a while, he made Ms Freud laugh. I chatted with him at length about Bee Pollen …. something I’ve never tried. He was a terrific guy.
Anyway, so I get home and I google Bee Pollen. Holy shit. There are some pretty TREMENDOUS claims being made about that. I think it cures everything except Small Pecker Syndrome. At only $12 a bottle, we’ll be going back tomorrow and trying that stuff for a while. I read that for one teaspoon of bee pollen, a honeybee has to work 8 hours a day for 30 days! And then we humans steal his shit. I’m surprised the bees haven’t revolted yet.
If we could only get the FSA in West Philly to make bee pollen, our problems would be solved.
Admin
Ohmigod. That’s a hilarious comment!
Dude, YOU are the bee and the gooberint has yer hunny.
Oh Bother…
SHEISSE!!! DAMMIT!!!!!!
Mexicans win 1-0 over Cameroon ….. despite the refs trying to fuck over Mexico by disallowing TWO goals to an offside call, one of which was horrendously bad ….. and the shit-parade of shit calls by refs continues, and the games just started.
Don’t like the Mexi’s and their fans. Sorry, El Burrito. When the USA and Mexico national teams play in the US, Mexicans show up in the thousands. No problem-o. But, then they boo, jeer, and taunt American players … sometimes booing during our National anthem … often throwing shit on our players. It’s absolutely fucking disgusting.
My dad and I have gone to PLENTY of USA vs various-German-teams. You know who he (and, I) cheer for? America. Do we boo the Germans? Of course not. It’s just that we know who we are, where we live, and what we are thankful for. THAT’S one of the big differences between Old World (European) and New World (Hispanic) immigrants. One assimilates, the other repudiates.
Just watched the second game and getting ready to hopefully see parts of the Spain vs Holland game, which I hope it’s a great game. Looks great on paper. The refs have been quite shitty. Two disallowed goals for Mexico, one maybe a little unclear but the second one very clear. WTF…one bad penalty call yesterday and now today two goals. I’m getting suspicious here… I hope these jerks don’t ruin any good games.
Stucky, Messicans has short pecker syndrome, Germans don’t.
I 100% agree with stuck on the analysis and the ref scam. I really hope it will improve with time or this will prove asian refs suck badly in term of corruption.
Damn! The Dutch pulled their Dicks out of the Dyke and Drove it up Spanish Derriere by Destroying them by a Devastating score, 5-1.
I have never seen such a massive beat-down of a defending Champion in my lifetime. And the Dutch had great opportunity to score 3 more goals … one ball hitting the crossbar. And Spain’s only goal came on a Penalty Kick.
The first Dutch goal was simply a thing of great beauty …. a pass from about mid-field, into the penalty area, never touching the ground as a Flying Dutchman headed it into the back of the net. Gorgeous!! Ian Robben scored two masterful goals, and shoulda had a hat trick.
Good bye Spain. Sure, they can still advance if they get 2nd place. But, 2nd place will likely play Brazil. Good luck wif dat.
What a game. What a game.
“I 100% agree with stuck on the analysis and the ref scam.” ———– Frenchie
Atta boy!!! All that stuff about making fun of countries is just “fun and sport” … not to be taken seriously. Welcome Aboard the Humor Train, it’s a fun ride.
That dutch beat-down of the spaniards was epic, it easily could have been 7 or 8 to 1 or even 0. A great display of “total football”, even that pk call was questionable in my opinion.
Spain is in trouble, from watching the chile/aus game, if they play like that again they wont beat chile.
Stucky says:
” Don’t like the Mexi’s and their fans. Sorry, El Burrito. When the USA and Mexico national teams play in the US, Mexicans show up in the thousands. No problem-o. But, then they boo, jeer, and taunt American players … sometimes booing during our National anthem … often throwing shit on our players. It’s absolutely fucking disgusting. ”
Salvy fans are pretty wild also. Perhaps we should get some Taliban folks to whip the fans if they dare have fun. Give the Americanos a few more years and they will stop acting like a stick in the mud.
My brother in law took the whole month off so he can watch the Copa Mundial.
El doggy’s 14 rules for WC viewing:
a. take possession of the remote
b. cancel all trips or visits
c. send kids to stay with grandma
d. keep wife at home to handle beer and snacks
e. to be fair, she can watch soaps replay between hours of midnight and 3 am
f. relinquish this allowance if there is a game or replay at those hours
g. do not allow her to opinionate or offer suggestions
h. no short trips to the market during half-time
i. her friends must not have weddings, baby showers these next 4 weeks, she’s not going anyway
j. she must not count on visiting anyone during these next 4 weeks
k. she cannot complain if you are watching a game re-play
l. she must not interrupt when you study a replay of a game highlight
m. do not allow her to question the team actions
n. if your friend calls to ask you to come watch a game, if she wants to go also, she must be ready in 5 minutes or else she walks, it is that important.
o. get rid of wife. hire cheap mexican to serve drinks.
p. invite all your friends. trash the place.
q. fire mexican.
r. bring back wife. make her clean up.
Today’s games:
Colombia – Greece : Colombia easily
Uruguay – Costa Rica : Uruguay easily
England – Italy : The only game worth watching. Too close to call (but I love watching the English lose)
“The first Dutch goal was simply a thing of great beauty …. a pass from about mid-field, into the penalty area, never touching the ground as a Flying Dutchman headed it into the back of the net. Gorgeous!! Ian Robben scored two masterful goals, and shoulda had a hat trick.”
The Flying Dutchman’s (Robin Van Persie) goal was incredible. He is truly a superstar.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XGCjV6-v_ms
Arjen (pronounced Ar-yen) not Ian Robben is another world class player who averages a goal every 3 games.
You forgot one game —– Japan vs Ivory Coast. I’m picking the Nips in an upset.
Games I’m really anticipating;
Germany vs Portugal — June 16
USA vs Ghana — June 16
THE BIGGIE — Spain vs Chile, June 18 …… Spain looked horrid, Chile looked good, if Spain loses they’re finished. Even a tie is bad. It’s a MUST win.
Spain will never recover from a beating like that.
from what i’ve seen, Dutchmen are on an highway to win the title they lost to spaniards 4 years ago.
brazil can’t beat the dutch if they keep the same level
Yes, I did forget one game. Big tall neegrows against skinny nips. I will take Cote d’Ivoire .
FRenchie said “Dutchmen are on an highway to win the title they lost to spaniards 4 years ago.”.
I think the Dutch have the habit of oscillating between amazing victories and stupid defeats. Also Spain have been slow starters..Brazil too.
Netherlands have never won a world cup and they will continue to keep the record intact.
JOY for Swiss.
DESPAIR for Ecuador.
The final 3 minutes … stoppage time …. were about as frantic and exciting as you’ll ever see. Neither team wanted a 1-1 draw. Both attacked and counter-attacked like Eric Holder Gone Wild …. FAST and FURIOUS.
With 20 seconds left, the Swiss break away and run the length of the field …. after Ecuador nearly scored ….. an Ecuadorian fouls the shit out of a Swiss in midfield …… the ref swallows his whistle and signals ‘play on’ (the correct call) …. and the rest is history.
GREAT game. GREAT results (if you’re a Swiss fan.)
The Sexy Mulatta is from El Salvador, despite what El Doggy says, she is not serving beer, she is keeping track for me when I’m at work. Commenting on Spain, she said all the good ones are getting their asses whipped.
Rooting for Hondoland right now.
By 5PM our good friend Frenchie will either be elated, or in great despair.
GO HONDURAS!!
well,
Honduras has been beaten, but I don’t like what I’ve seen from the Frenchs
the Honda boys that lacked solutions started to play dirty, and instead of ignoring it, the blues played dirty as well in retaliation. it shows our current team lack experience and it doesn’t bode well for future games against big dogs. I don’t see us going further than 1/8 final.
wich isn’t that bad given the 2010 fiasco.
that said, Honduras played like dick
“that said, Honduras played like dick ”
Spain, Brazil, Argentina, and Italy ……. the power teams …. NONE of them looked particularly impressive. Let’s see how well Germany plays this morning …
Most impressive teams so far? I’d say the Dutch and the Swiss.
It would actually really be nice if a SMALL country would win it this time around. Except, Ghana.
I meant the Netherlands.
Here ya go, Stuck:
In Iran, the World Cup is a perennial political tinderbox.
Unable to shackle the passion on the streets spurred by the nation’s soccer team, the regime has sought to harness it
June 15, 2014 5:00AM ET
by David Goldblatt @Davidsgoldblatt
One of the unintended consequences of fixed-term elections is that it can lock the rhythm of politics into to the rhythms of football. Brazil’s quadrennial October presidential contests are always prefaced – and often inflected – by the Seleçao’s summer World Cup campaign. In Iran, too, the cycle of presidential elections has coincided with the culmination of the nation’s World Cup qualifying campaigns; for a country whose relationship with the international community has been so complex and problematic, the presence of Team Melli (as they are known) at the tournament has taken on immense significance.
Football had served as an instrument of soft power and modernization under the Shah, and suffered accordingly during the first decade of the Islamic revolution. Deemed by the theocracy to be at best, foreign and decadent, at worst, blasphemous, football was frowned upon and virtually ground to a halt during the long war with Iraq.
The game’s revival and reformist credentials were clearly established during the 1997 presidential election that pitched the conservative Ali Akbar Nateq Nouri against the more moderate Mohammad Khatami. Nateq Nouri shared his platform with the leading wrestlers of the day; while the victorious Khatami included footballers in his political entourage.
The opening months of his presidency coincided with the qualification campaign for the 1998 World Cup. When Iran lost to Qatar and then Japan, forcing them into a play-off against Australia, the new regime made a clear statement moderating Tehran’s revolutionary xenophobia: It appointed a foreign coach, Brazilian Vladimir Viera.
Iran beat Australia, and on the final whistle the streets of Tehran and every provincial city filled with people – perhaps as many as six million nationwide. The crowds defied and taunted clerics and the Basiji militias. Women and men openly mixed, some abandoned the veil others danced on the roofs of the Toyota trucks used by the moral militias. The crowd took flowers to the French embassy and cheered “See you in Paris”. When the national team returned to the city, 5,000 women – then and now excluded from the national team’s games – stormed the Azadi stadium to honor the players.
In late 2001 an Iran victory over Iraq saw tens of thousands of youths celebrating in Tehran only to be dispersed by tear gas and police baton charges. Ten days later Bahrain beat Iran, forcing them into a qualifying play-off against Ireland. A rumor on the streets that the regime had told the team to throw the match to prevent another outburst of public celebration prompted pitched battles in Tehran and Esfahan. Iran went on to lose to Ireland.
Three weeks before the 2005 presidential elections, between wealthy businessman and pragmatist Ali Akbar Hashemi Rafsanjani and conservative populist Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, Iran qualified for the 2006 World Cup, beating Bahrain 1-0. As ever people took to the streets to dance, women removed their headscarves and in the Resalat neighborhood of Tehran shopkeepers gave away flowers to the crowd. Iranian flags with Rafsanjani’s face in the center were handed out and flown, but there were reports of the same flag being flown with his face cut out.
Ahmadinejad won the elections, but he was a different kind of conservative, with a strong base among the working class and the veterans of Iran’s devastating war with Iraq – a man who enjoyed football, and grasped its political import. He took a close interest in the performance of the national team, was a regular visitor to their training camps, and is widely thought to have interfered in the fate of coaches. After Ali Daei’s team failed to make it to South Africa 2010, government supporters received a text reading “Due to the importance of national public opinion to Dr. Ahmadinejad, Ali Daei has been forced out”.
Ahmadinejad was returned to office in the disputed election of 2009, and then had to face down a gigantic series of protests by the Green Movement that had backed opposition candidate Mir Hussein Moussavi. Even after the protest movement had been crushed at home, Iran’s final qualifying game against South Korea in Seoul offered an opportunity for resistance. Six players took to the field wearing green wristbands. Team officials initially tried to claim that these were Islamic symbols designed to help the players overcome the Koreans, but the meaning was clear to everyone else.
A change of political fortune has, it appears, defused emotions over the most recent World Cup qualifying campaign. In 2013, the moderate Hassan Rouhani decisively beat his conservative opponents to become president of Iran. Less than a week later the nation qualified for this year’s World Cup, once again playing South Korea in Seoul. The game was a draw and that was enough for Iran (and, as it transpired later, for South Korea too). At home hundreds of thousands partied peacefully. Clerical Supreme Leader Ayatollah Ali Khamenei even hailed the team for bringing national happiness. The only violence came in Seoul, where the Iranian players’ wild celebrations on the pitch after the game prompted Korean fans to hurl abuse, bottles and cans at them.
Iran’s national team has become a truly national institution, able to attract the support of the secular and the religious, both moderate and conservative forces in Iran. This year universities and schools have changed the exam and holiday schedules to accommodate the World Cup. Public viewing areas are being set up in parks and squares. The country will shut down when the team plays.
Expectations, however, are phenomenally low. In 2006 Iran took just a single point from their three games. This time, Iran’s group – Argentina, Nigeria and Bosnia – offers no easy points and no realistic prospect of getting through to the next round. Coach Carlos Queiroz – a Mozambique-born Portuguese national who has coached South Africa and at Manchester United – has said as much.
The problem, this time, is not political infighting but, as with so much in Iran, economics and the long-term impact of international sanctions. Unable to organize or fund international games, or persuade the Iranian big clubs to release their players when they are needed, the national team will be the least prepared of any at Brazil 2014. They have played just one friendly this year. At a recent camp in South Africa, effectively abandoned due to low turnout, players were issued with just one track suit for three weeks’ training. In this regard they are truly a team of the people – economically squeezed and for the moment stoic in defeat. Given the passion and pressures currently under wraps in Iran one wonders what a victory – however improbable – might mean.
Zara
Interesting. Couple hundred countries in the world … just making the field of 32 is an honor. Did Ahura Mazda play soccer?
Surprising tidbit from Wiki ….
“The national football team of Iran, known as Team Melli, ranks FIRST in Asia and 43rd in the world according to the June 2014 FIFA World Rankings.”
Iran has 4 WC appearances, and never advanced out of group stage. Maybe they need a new “national institution”? Or, maybe more motivation …. torture the players if they lose, as Uday Hussein did.
Off to watch THE GAME on the big screen. BRB in a couple hours.
Admin —- possible to move this thread back to the visible area?
10 minutes in ……. Germany scores!
FUCK YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ms Freud is half Portuguese (her father was born there). She’s not appreciating my enthusiasm. I’m trying to console her. I told her Portugal puts Germany to shame when it comes to sardines.
Germany scores again. 2-0 lead in the first half …. pretty big obstacle to overcome.
THEN the camera quickly focused in on Angela “Schwartze Dick Luvah” Merkel clapping. fuckmedead!!! I might have to reconsider who I’m cheering for.
Well, Germany certainly isn’t disappointing. Doesn’t at all seem unreasonable that a European team can win the WC …. in South America, which has never been accomplished (and, vice-versa).
Portuguese player (Pepe) gets the fuckin DUMBEST Red Card ever. WTF was he thinking?? If you’re going to head-butt an opposing player, you KNOW you’re going to be ejected, so you might as well draw blood …. not that pussy head-butt he did. Not only is he ejected from this game, forcing Portugal to play 10 men against a power-house …. but, he won’t be playing the next game against USA.
If USA cab get by Ghana tonight, I’ll suddenly feel a LOT better about our chances of advancing to the next round. Wow, what a stunning turn of events.
Raul Meireles’s reaction to Pepe’s red card[img
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Can one of the soccer fans here explain why all the poor acting and flailing around anytime a play falls down? The refs cannot be that stupid, but yet it seems like flopping with almost any contact and acting hurt is how the game is played. I watched a few minutes of a match the other day and turned it off after about 15 minutes (even got to see a goal), but the flopping was so irritating that I couldn’t take it. I blame the refs for allowing it and/or rewarding the behavior. The game seems like it would be much improved if the refs just told them to cut it out and if they see a player acting like his leg was amputated and he may never walk again anytime they are touched by another player then the actor will be the one penalized. Red cards those idiots. The game strikes me as a lot of skillful players, who can run a lot, but can’t act very well, but insist on doing it all the time.
Portugal got a beating, in part bc Pepe fucked up. Probably would have lost but not by 4. Dumbass couldn’t control himself and condemned his team to a certain loss. It almost looked like the Portuguese were a little scared. Damn, if you’re gonna lose, at least play them as equals. Make them remember you as a hard team.
“Can one of the soccer fans here explain why all the poor acting and flailing around anytime a play falls down? The refs cannot be that stupid,…” ——– TJF
I’ll give it a shot.
1) Players dive in absolutely every sport where there are fouls. Watch basketball … more aptly named Foulball, as a typical game has 50+ fouls total. It’s pathetic and RUINS the game.
2)- The OFFICIAL TIME is kept ONLY by the referee. He can stop the clock at his discretion for injuries. This is huge. If your team is ahead by a goal you flop to kill the clock. You flop in extreme fake agony for 5 minutes … the ref adds two minutes to stoppage time … you just killed three minutes.
3)- There are two refs in hockey, three in basketball, and lots in baseball and football ……… but ONLY ONE in soccer. With one ref policing 22 players, it’s much easier to fool him, and that’s exactly what players do.
4) Soccer is a low scoring game, usually decided by one or two goals. That means the Risk-Reward factors swing STRONGLY towards DECEIT, using every tool in the book to one’s advantage.
.
BRAZILIANS are the WORST FUCKING FLOPPERS on the planet. I heard Pele once say they teach it there. Don’t believe me? Watch the one minute clip below. Woman’s WC, Brazil vs USA. Skip to the :20sec mark. The Brazilian monkey, Erika, is literally walking near the American goal when out-of-the-clear-blue she crumples to the ground as if hit by sniper fire, does the normal rolling-in-agony, is carried off in a stretcher (!!!), and seconds after they carry her to the sidelines she’s jumping around like a monkey. FUCK BRAZIL!!!!!!!!!!
Best teams so far.
1) Netherlands — no explanation needed
2) Swiss — fell behind 0-1, tied it, and then fought like hell to score with 20 seconds left in stoppage time …… against Ecuador, the 11th ranked team in the world.
3) Germany — a little disappointed they scored only one goal in the 2nd half against ten men. And the goal they scored was a fuck-up by the Portuguese goalie …. a pretty soft shot that was IN HIS HANDS.
4) France — (only cuz I don’t wanna piss off Frenchie)
Thanks Stuck. I gave up watching basketball years ago, but agree that flopping is part of that game as well. In that video you posted, that player should not be allowed back in the game. Maybe that would cut down on it. Make ’em sit out the rest of the game if they are hurt so badly that the clock is stopped. Get some liberals behind it and tell them it is for the good of the players and will improve their working conditions and it may gather some momentum and become a reality.
Why on earth do they only have one ref?
Well fuck. Trying to watch Iran vs Nigeria on illegal streams at work. They keep knocking them down almost as fast as they go up. I give up. I’m counting on Stucky to provide a wrapup. So far it’s a scoreless defensive battle. The Iranians look they they are playing their hearts out. Good on them.
0-0 Tie. Considering the expectations for this team, I suspect they are celebrating in Tehran right now.
“Trying to watch Iran vs Nigeria on illegal streams at work …. I’m counting on Stucky to provide a wrapup.” ————- Zara
Have I ever seen a more boring fucking WC game in my lifetime? No.
Tie scores — even 0-0 — can be exciting, or at least interesting. This was not one of them. Horribly terrible execution from both sides. Nigeria couldn’t penetrate, relying endlessly on ridiculous long passes. Iran was content playing all 11 players behind midfield. Ten minutes into the game I said to myself, ‘no way in hell can Iran score a goal’ … they had one, maybe two, decent chances. (They’ve only scored 6 goals in [now] ten WC appearances. The fans at the game should ask for their money back.
I have a question for Zara; if a person watches Iranian soccer and they are BORED TO DEATH, will they be greeted by 70 virgin cheerleaders? (I almost found out for myself today.)
Stucky, Iranians don’t believe in the 70 virgins bullshit, that’s a Saudi thing.
TJF
You’re welcome.
That Brazilian monkey bullshit didn’t work out so well for Brazil. First, monkey girl was given a yellow card. Also, USA was behind one goal, late in the game. The ref added time cuz of the flop. . USA scored to tie the game, and went on to win in a shoot-out. Oops!!
Thinking about it, there are other reasons for flops. The team may be tired and it’s a way to get some rest. Or, they try to con the ref into calling the foul, which results in a free kick (nice if it’s near the goal), or better yet, a penalty kick (a sure goal). Or, they are trying to foul out a player … a red card or two yellows is an ejection. Lastly, some flops are actually legit.
“Why on earth do they only have one ref?” ———— TJF
Simple answer: FIFA (the world governing body for soccer.) Like many mooslims, the supremely corrupt FIFA-fuks are STUCK in the past. Continuity and tradition is paramount. Technology be damned. Change is pure evil.
FIFA does the most stupid politically correct shit imaginable. For example, you wanna know why some of those refs are Pure Shit? Because FIFA doesn’t value The Best — those with experience. Instead, they pull referees from more than 40 countries … “out of a sense of fairness” to all of its member associations. Pure. Fucking. Horseshit.
Soccer does have two linesmen who run along the edge of the field raising flags to indicate offside and fouls, but — and not many people realize this —- the referee is free to IGNORE those calls. The ref is KING … not surprising considering modern day soccer (1700’s and onward) was invented by the British (by invented I mean codified with rules and regulations.)
Time to scoot. USA pre-game show is on.
C’mon, you fucking curs!! Join me in the chant that will save your souls;
U-S-A. Number One!
U-S-A. Number One!
U-S-A. Number One!
U-S-A. Number One!
U-S-A. Number One!
Huahhh!!!
Yea, muthafuckers. Go USA!!
FUCK GHANA!!!!
We are ALL patriots today.
5 minutes to go. Their singing the National Anthem and I got me some goosebumps.
GOD DAMN IT!!!!
I’m looking at the recent comments list, and what do I see? All this discussion about something called the 4th Turning in the ‘FOURTH TURNING ACCELERATING’ thread. Turning and accelerating …. is that a new soccer move?
GOD DAMN IT!!!!
Don’t you fuckin’ curs know what’s REALLY important???
C Ya.
… 32 SECONDS in ……….. USA SCORES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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‘MURICA, 2 —- Ghana-fuks, 1
I don’t have a voice left.
Ghana today was probably better and more skilled. They definitely played smarter.
Tough shit. Only the score matters. 3 points. Suck it Ghana.
Ghana-fuks are already taking revenge.
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It’s probably these fatfuks
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stucky,
i have played for most of my life and reffed a lot of games. high school games in PA have 2 centers and it is fucking stupid, painful to watch and play in. a good team of officials, 1 center, 2 assistants that actually know how to call offsides, unlike teh fucks who screwed over Switzerland once and teh Mexicans twice and the forth official to handle subs and keep the managers in check is teh best way. watching american football with its 19 (seemingly) refs/umpires/line judges etc and they still fuck up calls on a regular basis. jsut like democracy, multiple morons don’t make it better.
i was approached while playing in an adult league game, called the ref out on a bad call and he then asked me after the game to ask me if i wanted to get certified and ref PIAA, i asked if they still use 2 refs, when he said yes, i told him nevermind, that shit is garbage. it is the equivalent of having 2 masters. there has to be one decision maker. fifa does need to find the best refs and stop with the pol correct nonsense though.
glad the us won but they need to get their shit together in the offensive third or they are gonna be beat by both portugal and germany.
harry p
Interesting, and probably correct, ideas about multiple refs.
Re USA having to play better vs Portugal. Same can be said about Portugal after that pedantic display against Germany …. they certainly have the ability to bounce back. One thing USA has going for them now is MOMENTUM and CONFIDENCE, both huge things in sports in terms of the mental aspect. OTOH, Portugal must feel deflated. One other thing working against Portugal …. this is a MUST WIN game, and the pressure will be enormous.
Regardless, I believe it will be a fun and exciting game. And we have a real shot of advancing …. something I never thought to be realistic )otherwise I wouldn’t have offered to lick Klingsmann’s balls).
I was with you all along, Stuck, reading the ABC live update and listening to andres cantor on the USA game. He said, USA won playing badly (or dirty) but sometimes that is the way to win, all that matters is the win. I got some flack from the beautiful blonde but some things are more important. she’s lucky I didn’t send her for beer.