Go ahead, make fun of soccer. Never mind that 2 billion people will be watching it. Go ahead and tell me about “bread and circuses” …. as if you don’t have your favorite entertainment distraction. Surely — “don’t call me Shirly!!” — SOMEONE here played ute soccer, or have their own offspring-utes playing soccer …. not to mention all our overseas guests, and folks like El Burrito (go Mehico!!)
So, I actually created a Bracket Group on ESPN. It’s called “Village Idiots”, (really) and the motto is “Start the damn revolution”. You can use your SAME name as in the basketball bracket, otherwise, just create one on ESPN. It’s fast and easy. You can fill out as many brackets as you want. There’s no password. Just click the link below;
http://games.espn.go.com/world-cup-bracket-predictor/2014/en/group?groupID=40417
Just one quirk. If (and that’s a BIG if) you enter, you must choose ALL the teams for EACH round before going to the next round. That’s because, unlike basketball, not every team stays in the same group. Only the winner of a group stays in the same group, the second place team in a group goes to another group. It sounds complicated, but it’s not. Again, just complete each round in its entirety before going to the next round.
If you want to play, but you’re a Soccer Moron … here’s a little insider help for you.
First of all, do NOT judge a team according to the seedings. The seedings (and, rankings) are determined by FIFA, and it’s a complete and utter joke, trust me. So, below are the Groups, their ranking by the much more reliable Soccer Power Index (SPI), their chances of winning it all, and some Stucky commentary.
Note: The “odds” is an unusual and complicated system by oddsshark.com — about as reliable as any odds-maker out there. What you need to know: The LOWER the number (even into negative territory), the HIGHER the odds of that team winning it all.
First, here is a pictorial representation of the teams.
Teams below are listed in order of SPI ranking. The format is — (Team — SPI Ranking ——— Odds of Winning)
Group A
Brazil ………. 1 …… -400
Mexico …..… 26 ….. 900
Croatia …….. 31 ….. 800
Cameroon … 39 ….. 2500
BRAZIL — MORTAL LOCK!! Not enough that they’re the #1 team in the world, they are playing in front of wild-assed crazyfuk fans. They will get ALL the calls. Home field advantage in soccer is worth a .58 goal advantage … a HUGE number. They’re going to the FINAL game. You’re a dumbass, or fanatical fan of another team, to believe otherwise. Very many experts believe they should just give Brazil the trophy now, and be done with it.
MEXICO — Second place (the other team going to the next round) is a tossup between Mexico and Croatia. Mexico has been HISTORICALLY disappointing in the World Cup. They’ll have a big advantage over Croatia if the playing conditions are hot and humid. Croatians will have the advantage if there’s a head of lettuce growing on or near the playing field. I’m not picking Mehico to advance. I hope this pisses off El Coyote.
CROATIA – The Croats have one of soccer’s best midfielders, Luka Modric, who starts for the best team in the world, Real Madrid. The White House was built with Croatian limestones. Da boyz got stones. Pick ‘em.
CAMEROON — “Cameroon” comes from a Portuguese phrase meaning Shrimp River. It’s also Austrian for “No fucking way.”. The only ting they’re leaving Brazil with is the clap.
Group B
Spain ……..…… 3 ..….. -135
Chile ……..……. 5 …….. 225
Netherlands …. 9 ……. -400
Australia …..…. 53 ……. 3300
SPAIN — Mortal Lock. Probably the best team, top to bottom. A roster filled with All Stars. The Spanish team as currently constructed is considered one of, if not the best, national teams of all time. They won the last two Euro titles as well as the 2010 World Cup. The players can walk on water. The coach once fed an entire stadium, even though he had only 5 tacos and 2 sardines in his lunchbox.
CHILE — They are VERY long and skinny. Oh, wait …. that’s their country. Don’t underestimate this VERY good team …… except …. their star midfielder, Arturo Vidal, is just recovering from knee surgery. Without him playing very well, they’ll have a tough time taking 2nd place from the Netherlands.
NETHERLANDS — Was in the last WC final against Spain … where they played like cheap dicks. Even their own legendary player, Johan Cruyff, said they played “ugly, vulgar, hard, hermetic, hardly eye-catching, hardly football style”. Haven’t been playing great lately, getting trounced in the Euro 2012 tournament. If they can pull their dicks out of the dyke, they just might advance.
AUSTRALIA – Get some Brazilian pussy. Go home. Call it a good outing.
Group C
Colombia …..… 6 ….. -150
Ivory Coast ….. 18 ….. 400
Greece …….….. 23 ….. 400
Japan …………. 32 ….. 900
COLUMBIA —- Yet another very strong South American team. Many have Colombia as the tournament’s best underdog. Many years ago USA played Columbia in the WC. Some player scored an “own goal”. About two months after he returned to Columbia, he was murdered. Colombian players have a lot of incentive to not fuck up.
IVORY COAST — ANY of the other teams can advance to the next round. But, this team only appeared in two WCs and never advanced out of group stage. Not that it matters, but they make great soaps which float.
GREECE — 55% of the utes in Greece graduate with a four-year college degree, which is the highest rate in the world. 25% of them are unemployed and have beautiful hair. In ancient Greece, after a goal was scored, the opposing players would fuck their goalie in the ass. That’s all I know about Greek soccer.
JAPAN — I really don’t like Japs. They’re still hunting and killing whales. That wasn’t good enough for them, so now they want to kill everything in the Pacific Ocean. Plus, their women’s team beat the USA in the last WC final. Fuck Japan and their slanty eyes.
Group D
Uruguay ……. 8 ….. 180
England ……. 10 ….. 225
Italy ……..….. 13 ….. 150
Costa Rica …. 25 ….. 5000
URUGUAY — Jeezus, how many very good teams are there in SA?? But, this is a really tough group. However, they have waaay to many fuckin’ “U”s in their name. No country with that many “U”s has ever won it all. They rely on two super-duper players …. the rest of the team is rather average. They went as far as the semis in the 2010 WC, and won the 2011 COPA. They also lost to crappy teams. Which team shows up, nobody knows.
ENGLAND –— Is there a MORE historically disappointing team in the WC? Well, is there, punk? NO!! The Brits invented a word to describe their soccer teams …. WANKERS. I’m not picking them, evah.
ITALY — A historic European powerhouse. This year’s team is comprised largely with the same players from the last WC, four years ago. Translation … this team is OLD, in terms of soccer. They’ll advance, but only because Costa Rica sucks, and England Wankers always fuck up.
COSTA RICA — This country is sandwiched between Nicaragua and Panama, and yet somehow they don’t give a shit about baseball. Dumbasses. They also don’t care about soccer, and they have zero chance of advancing.
Group E
France ……..….. 7 ….. -125
Ecuador ……….11 …… 350
Switzerland …..22 ….. 250
Honduras ……. 33 ….. 3300
FRANCE — True story, google it; “French foreign intelligence services bombed Greenpeace’s ship, the Rainbow Warrior, on July 10, 1985. The ship was targeted to prevent it from interfering in French nuclear testing in the Pacific.” They BOMBED Greenpeace!! Why? Cuz the Greepeace ship had no guns. I don’t like the French. I’m not going to do a search to give you all a little tidbit. I don’t give a shit about that country. Arrogant little fuckers think swapping spit was their invention!
ECUADOR — Krist Almighty, another very good SA team. No analysis. Fuckit. I’m not picking them. Why? Cuz no way in hell will ALL South American teams advance. I gotta pick a scapegoat loser. Might as well be Ecuador. They’re used to it.
SWITZERLAND — This is the most interesting team in the entire field. German coach, several Germanic players = Germany Light. An interesting tidbit; unlike most teams, this team does not have a single “superstar”. If you like team-play, you’ll love this team. They lost only 1 of 18 games in qualifying. The Under-17 World Cup is an excellent indicator of a team’s future success. The Swiss won the 2009 Under-17 World Cup. You know who won the last World Cup? Spain. Do you know who was the only team to beat Spain? Yup, the Swiss. They’re more experienced, and better. Can they be THE Dark Horse this year? I think so. Once the USA gets booted, and should Germany falter, I will be cheering mightily for the Swiss.
HONDURAS –— Ever heard of the Soccer War? Yup. Honduras and El Salvador player three times in order to qualify for the 1970 World Cup. El Salvador won 2 of 3 games, and qualified. Honduras got to pick bananas, the people got vewy vewy angry, and fucked up a bunch of El Salvadorans via riots and general mayhem. Naturally, the Salvadoran military launched an attack against Honduras. Seems like a good response to me. The war only lasted 100 hours. However, it took another 11 fucking years for the two countries to sign a peace treaty. Ain’t that some funny shit?? Did you know they have the world’s highest murder rate? Honduras CAN advance out of group play …. but, only IF all the players are allowed to bring Glocks.
Group F
Argentina ……….. 2 .….. -400
Bosnia-Herz. ….. 14 …… 600
Nigeria ………..…. 28 ….. 800
Iran ……………….. 38 ….. 3300
ARGENTINA — South American …. fuckmedead!! … 2nd ranked team in the world …. Mortal Lock …. blah blah blah …. just pick ‘em all the way to semis.
BOSNIA-HERZ —- Amazing story that such a small and new country is so good at soccer. Did you know they have the only remaining jungle in Europe? It’s called the Perućica forest … has many trees that are 300 years old, and the forest’s vintage is stated to be 20,000 years. In some places the forest growth is almost impregnable. 10 more really truly fascinating facts about Bosnia here —- http://www.expatsblog.com/contests/799/top-10-crazy-things-about-living-in-bosnia-and-herzegovina#sthash.onfw30Kp.dpuf Pick ‘em!!
NIGERIA — here’s all you need to know … they lost last week to the USA, 2-1 … and it was much uglier for them than the score indicates. They suck Obongo dick. Also, someone from Nigeria is trying to scam you right this very moment.
IRAN — Iran???? WTF are they doing in the WC?? Good thing their first game, or any other, isn’t against Da Joos. I leave it to our own beloved ZARATHUSTRA to enlighten us on Iranian soccer. I’m betting Ahura Mazda was Player-Of-The-Year back in 24,678B.C.
Group G — The Group of Death
Germany ………. 4 …… -180
Portugal ………. 16 …… 275
United States … 17 …… 1000
Ghana …………. 24 …… 1200
GERMANY — Deutschland Uber Alles!!! Undefeated in the qualification stage ….. scoring 36 goals in 10 games ….. in the TOP 2 (or, 3) in offensive firepower ….. really, they don’t show any weaknesses at this point. Mortal Lock. Angela Merkel told the players if they lose, all of them will have to lick her pussy … after Obongo boinks her. This is a huge incentive to never lose, and that’s why I’m picking them to win it all. (Yes, I know they’re playing Brazil in Brazil.)
PORTUGAL — Just because Portugal’s national symbol is a chicken, doesn’t mean they will choke the chicken. Why? One name …. Cristiano Ronaldo …. pretty much unanimously considered the best player in the world. And the rest of the team ain’t to shabby either.
USA — this may be one of the best National Teams in a long while … young, fast, skilled, and with a World Class goalkeeper, Tim Howard . BUT, we got really FUCKED over by being placed in this group … thanks to FIFA’s totally corrupt and bullshit ranking system. If they get out of group play, I will call USA’s coach, Jurgen Klinsmann, — the great former German national player — and offer to lick his balls.
GHANA — there is no team in this year’s WC that I HATE/LOATHE/DESPISE more than Ghana … the team that knocked us out of the past two World Cups …. the last time by a last second goal in overtime. I hope half the team takes a dip in the Amazon and piranhas chew off their dicks, and the other half drinks the water and they get the shits … while playing. Not very sportsmanlike, I know. Don’t give a shit. G.E.S.
Group H
Belgium ………. 12 ….. -175
Russia ………… 15 ……. 200
South Korea … 37 ……. 750
Algeria .………..69 ……. 2800
BELGIUM —- what’s the FIRST thing you think of when Belgium is mentioned? I guarantee it’s either 1) legal drugs, 2) legal pay-for-pussy, or 3) waffles. They also have a powerful soccer team with a reputation as Giant Killers having beaten eventual World Cup winners; West Germany in 1954, Brazil in 1963, Argentina in 1982, and France in 2002. Betting against them, especially in group play, is just plain silly.
RUSSIA — Top Secret insider info what you need to know; Putin will be playing as a striker. A Mortal Lock for 2nd place. Did you know the land mass of Russia is equal to that of Pluto? Also, Russia is colder.
SOUTH KOREA — I mean, why allow Asian teams to play in the WC? It’s not like they EVER won the WC …. or EVER will. Nevertheless, I love our new Hyundai. Too bad they can’t play a similar quality of fussball. Goddamn, I love S. Korea’s president!!!! In response to criticism that the government botched rescue efforts during a ferry disaster that left more than 300 dead or missing, president Park Geun-hye announced plans to DISBAND THE COAST GUARD. Taking the bull by the horns and not ducking out?? That’s so … so …. soooo Un-Obama-ish!!!
ALGERIA — Fuckin’ Mooslims. WTF? Algeria’s national team name is the Fennec Foxes. Below is a Fennec Fox. Cuter than cute. But, using a Woman’s Method Of Choosing Teams — team colors and/or the mascot — I ask you; “Is this a mascot that could win at …. anything??” Those ears. Yikes! It looks like an animal created by the NSA. Not the worst team in the field, but absolutely zero chance of advancing.
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It seems, from what I’ve read, that some (many?) Brazilians are pretty pissed off at the COST of these games, much of it (as usual) falling on those with the least amount of money. Still … Brazil is one country I’d love to see before I croak. It looks like such a beautiful and diverse country. Breathtaking, in many cases. Check it out …
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cZ2mPAMUhk8&feature=player_detailpage
And for you guys, except bb, they say Brazilian women are amongst the world’s most beautiful. I see no reason to dispute that.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=chybMnfbih0&feature=player_detailpage
portugal hasn’t looked good (I was at work and am watching the recording) and you are right, momentum is a bitch. the us did a good job of not playing for the draw after ghana scored, going for the win takes balls and you gotta respect that instead of playing for a pansy-ass draw, they lacked possession, sucked in the offensive 3rd but they won, all teh other stats are noise.
i love watching teh “beautiful game” with possession, creativeness and all around skill, which is why i prefer the dutch methodology but each team needs to do what it does best to win, sometimes that is flopping around on teh ground like the brazilians or italians (i gave up watching serie a years ago bc of their perpetual diving).
and you mocked me calling me an optimist when i said i thought they were going to advance, to be fair i just want to hastle you about gargling klinnsman’s nuts.
el coyote,
i didn’t think the us played dirty, i actually thought this game was one of the cleaner ones i’ve seen this WC.
Belgium has a very good team. I am looking for an easy win as I expect them to win the group. If they were to finish second in the group, they will likely have to face Germany. Obviously not what they want when the group stage is done.
USA is in “The Group Of Death”.
Belgium is in “The Group Of Pussies” …. easiest of all groups, a fuckin’ cake-walk, errrr waffle-walk.
None of the 3 games today are particularly interesting. Following the rule of choosing The-Lessor-Of-Two-Evils, I’ll be hoping the Mexi Burritos beat Brazil’s Monkey Boys.
For those of you at work, without access ..
1st half, 25 minutes —- Algeria 1, Waffles 0 —- mooslims score on a penalty kick (a good call)
That score will not stand.
USA is in the “Group of Death”?
My friends from England think they are.
The Wankers (Brits) would even consider this a Group of Death —– “England, Algeria, Iran, and Australia” —– seeing how they step on their dicks every WC.
But, yeah, they are in an equally tough group.
Intro to WC Mex vs Brazil … listened to the national anthems … was pretty unimpressed with Mexico’s (first time I ever listened to it) … so I did some searching, and this is what I say; What Mexico needs … desperately …. is a new national anthem.
First, it’s too friggin’ long.
Second, the tune is turrible … like something from a ’50’s musical.
Third, if you think the American anthem is too militaristic …. HOLY FUCK!! …. wait until you get a load of this! WTF?
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Mexicans, at the cry of war,
prepare the steel and the steed,
and may the earth shake at its core
to the resounding roar of the cannon.
Gird, oh country, your brow with olive
the divine archangel of peace,
for your eternal destiny was written
in the heavens by the hand of God. [just a little fuckin’ presumptuous, no?]
But if some strange enemy should dare
to profane your ground with his step,
think, oh beloved country, that heaven
has given you a soldier in every son.
War, war without truce to any who dare
to tarnish the country’s coat-of-arms!
War, war! Take the national pennants
and soak them in waves of blood.
War, war! In the mountain, in the valley,
the cannons thunder in horrid unison
and the resonant echoes
cry out Union,
Liberty!
Oh country, ‘ere your children
defenseless bend their neck to the yoke,
May your fields be watered with blood,
may they trod upon blood.
And may your temples, palaces and towers
collapse with horrid clamor,
and their ruins live on to say:
This land belonged to a thousand heroes.
Oh, country, country, your children swear
to breathe their last in your honor,
if the trumpet with warlike accent
should call them to fight with courage.
For you the olive branches!
A reminder for them of glory!
A laurel of victory for you!
For them a tomb with honor!
Mexicans, at the cry of war,
prepare the steel and the steed,
and may the earth shake at its core
to the resounding roar of the cannon.
Stucky, as I said. Messicans haz small pecker syndrome.
0-0 at the half.
Brazil has BLOWN several excellent opportunities. This could come back and haunt them in the 2nd half.
GO, GO, GO you small peckered Messicans!!
According to this Mexicans are bigger than Americans.[img
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Leobeer
It is interesting …. is it not (!!??) …. that the world’s two most populous countries (China and India), also have the world’s SMALLEST DICKS?
What do you make of that?
Apparently, according to the map, the men of Kazakhstan don’t even have dicks.
What do you make of that, Mr. Dick expert?
Stucky says:
Apparently, according to the map, the men of Kazakhstan don’t even have dicks.
What do you make of that, Mr. Dick expert?
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Or the Arabs. I guess that explains it.
That was an exciting draw.
I have to say the mexican goalie did a pretty awesome job.
Yup …. give that Mexican goalie the MVP. Although on some of those shots he stopped, he didn’t have to move an inch … it was more like self-defense …. not taking anything away from him though. Ole Ole Ole, Mexico!
Brazil played well. Still a disappointing result, and some disappointing effort at times.
My official prognostication is in; the Championship is WIDE OPEN. The just-give-it-to-Brazil window is officially closed.
A nice Rah!Rah! America! article …. except for the Obongo reference
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THAT’S HOW THEY [the USA] ROLL
I thought Clint Dempsey’s goal, after 29 seconds, was the single greatest thing I had ever seen from the United States since “Miami Vice” came on English television screens in 1984. Eighty-five and a half minutes later, John Brooks’ potent yet poetic winner eclipsed it.
Watching that knockout punch in ESPN’s Rio studio was thrilling, but when Alexi Lalas came on television in his inimitable style and claimed, “It wasn’t progressive or new, but I don’t care. It was American. It was who we are. It was beautiful,” a number of non-American pundits in the green room shook their heads.
Does that make Haris Seferovic’s 93rd-minute winner for Switzerland in their come-from-behind victory against Ecuador similarly “American,” they wondered.
This preoccupation with whether the nation’s football is or is not “American” is particularly American. Jurgen Klinsmann has been obsessed with the issue, broaching the question at his first news conference in August 2011 and consistently talking about his bold vision for an all-out attacking, kaleidoscopic style of football in the course of the shoot for “Inside: US Soccer’s March to Brazil.”
The week before training began he told me, “I believe soccer always describes the culture of its environment. … American soccer is very international, dynamic, energetic, aggressive, attacking … and bossy, because you want to be the No. 1 in the world.”
Pregame, the president of the United States jumped in on Klinsmann’s “connecting the nation to the style of football” act. In a presidential Vine, he commanded, “Go Team USA. Show the world what we are made of.”
This is what we are made of then: a tenacious victory in which the back line made 45 clearances, the most by a team in a World Cup match since 1966. The attackers conjured two touches within 20 yards of Ghana’s goal (one was Brooks’ goal) after Jozy Altidore departed. And a total 90 minutes in which goalkeeper Tim Howard led the team with 61 touches.
Yet they still won.
And what could be more American than that? It’s the footballing equivalent of the Battle of the Bulge in which the 101st Airborne was outnumbered and surrounded by Germans in the winter of 1944 with neither supplies nor air cover. The forces held out for seven days until Patton’s army relieved them, a tenacity that is at the core of much that is good about this nation.
Ahead of the battle, acting commander Anthony McAuliffe was given the chance to surrender by his German counterpart. His one word reply was “nuts.”
Last night, the U.S. channeled that spirit to defy the odds. They withstood everything that was thrown at them. Didn’t play pretty football. Dug deep. Scored down the flanks, and with a set piece. And won.
What could be more American than that?
.
http://www.espnfc.us/blog/men-in-blazers/95/post/1888294/thats-how-they-roll
Theoretically …
If Brazil loses its final group game to Cameroon, they will finish with 4 points.
Mexico has 4 points, and if in their final group game they just tie Croatia, they will finish with 5 points.
If Cameroon beats both Brazil and Croatia in its two remaining games they wind up with 6 points … and Brazil is out of the tournament. Even if Cameroon beats Brazil, but ties Croatia, they would have 4 points … and Brazil would only get in on a tie-breaker.
Unlikely scenario, but it goes to show that Brazil ain’t free-and-clear just yet.
Give the Russian goalie a Raspberry Award for fucking up and letting the ball go through his hands. But, Russia manages to come from behind and salvage a 1-1 tie. Bleech!
I have a new team I dislike more than Iran. South Korea plays Safe Soccer = Boring Soccer. I have never seen a team make so many lateral and backwards passing, while keeping 4-6 players in the backfield most of the time. Fucking ugly. TAKE A CHANCE fuckers!
I’m glad I didn’t record the Russia-Korea game knowing that it was boring. It just didn’t seem very attractive. Gonna watch the Belgium-Algeria and Mexico-Brazil. So far it seems they were good games, given the comments.
Ochoa, motherfuckers. Revenge of the little dicks. Still, I will look forward to Stucky licking balls.
A team’s FIRST game in the WC is usually the most important. The LAST game is usually the least important, as fates have already been determined. The SECOND game is THE crucial game, where fates are often determined. If you won the first game, and you win the second, you’re in regardless of what happens in the last game, and vice-versa.
So six teams play their second game today.
Kangaroos vs Waffles. —– The Roos made a decent showing against Chile. But, the Waffles are just too strong and they will advance. I hope the Roos took my advice and got some Nice Nookie, cuz their hopes are over.
Spain vs Chile.—— Huge game. If Spain loses OR ties, they’re toast. Chile will almost certainly advance with a tie, and they’re in with a win. Chile still has a good shot of advancing even with a loss. Will the extreme pressure hurt Spain? Will the real Spain show up, pissed off at their piss poor showing last game, and demolish Chile? We’ll know soon enough. I’m picking Chile because momentum and state-of-mind are working against Spain.
Cameroon vs Croatia —– One of these teams must WIN if they hope to advance. A tie sends both teams to the dumpster. The worst possible result for these two teams happened yesterday when Brazil and Mexico each got one point. They needed one of those teams to lose. I believe Mexico and Brazil are in the driver’s seat, and will advance.
A few days back I said Netherlands can go from amazing victories to stupid defeats. Now Australia leading 2-1.
But the boyz somehow took their dicks out of the dykes and managed a 3-2 victory.
Australia crafted a spirited well-played game. Hats off to them! A better goalie would have stopped that last score, and they could have kept their hopes alive with a 2-2 draw. Oh, well.
Spain; The Great Unraveling. It’s over. No come-back. The fat lady is singing. The players have that deer-in-the-headlights look. Chaos. They just blew a chance where it was Spanish player against Chilean goalie. Zippo. NOTHING is working.
Who woulda thunk it at the start??
Adiós España. Casi no le conocíamos.
Spain crashed just like France did in 2010.
this is what happen when you don’t dare to renew your staff, and don’t fire old glories that believe they are ought to play forever. lesson learned the hard way
mental ressources are the most important factor in a world cup. anything can happen, this is why people keep on watching…
So far I’d say stucky has not done that well. One moral lock gone home, Uruguay will be bounced.
Just another know it all American.
“So far I’d say stucky has not done that well.” ————- some dumfuk in his mommie’s basement
No one in the entire world ever gets it 100% correct. Hopefully, you didn’t use my scientific analysis to actually bet on the game. You seem bitter. So, you probably did. Dumbass.
Actually, my guesses as to will advance (or, will not) is pretty damn good.
I’d tell you to Go Fuck Yourself but, you are like a eunuch in a harem. You know how fucking is done. You see people fucking all the time. But, you, yourself, are unable to fuck. So, blow me.
In show biz they say, break a leg. in soccer it’s – hope you have to lick the coach’s balls. I’m rooting for Alemania so i can see Stuck’s selfie as the balls come down like New Year’s Eve.
If not for Stuck’s Awesome article I couldn’t make heads or tails of the WC. It’s a program, not a prophesy.
Donovan is to Dylan as Iran is to ?
Your Daily Update …. or, Stucky Basically Speaks To Himself
Two Group C Games
— Columbia vs Ivory Coast
Both these teams have 3 points. The winner advances, a tie helps both but leaves work to do, even a loss for either team means they’re both still in it. Such is life when you win your first game. The Drug Cartels should beat the Soap Manufacturers rather easily.
— Nips vs Greeks
Both teams have zero points. Lose and you’re out. Tie and you’re not technically out, but you’ll be relying on other teams losing … not a good position as your fate is not your own. Whale Killers vs Butt Fuckers …. not sure there’s a game I could care less about.
Group D —— Wankers vs Uruguay
The other “group of death” has Italy (not surprising) and Costa Rica (very surprising) on top with 3 points. This is a must win for both the Wanks (ranked 10th in the world) and U’s (ranked 8th in the world). Good teams with shit first games. Lose, and you go home. Brit fans are amongst the most violent in the world … last year Germany even banned them from entering the country during a tournament. If the Wanks lose their fans will burn down the Amazon Jungle …. National Geographic will print a 5,000 page issue bemoaning the loss of this planet’s biodiversity …. the rest of us won’t have to listen to all that save-the-jungle shit anymore …. my libtard seester will blame the Republicans …. and I will post pictures of the carnage right here on TBP. So, go UrUgUay!!
Stuck
This thread has over 1,700 reads.
el Coyote says:
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Donovan is to Dylan as Iran is to ?
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India. What do I win?
1) I will go with Cote d’Ivoire beating Colombia (not Columbia).
2) Nips and Greeks, agree with Stucky, who fucking cares. If I had to choose it would be Japan.
3) As much as I like to watch England lose, I don’t think they will. Uruguay’s best player, Luis Suarez didn’t play in the first game. If he is fit, Uruguay should look much better but I don’t think it will be enough.
Redrawing the ME map ……… permanently and effectively
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[img
fuckmedead!!!!
map posted in WRONG thread
goddammit
Stucky says:
fuckmedead!!!!
map posted in WRONG thread
goddammit
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Looks to me like some Joos survived. Please to move ground zero ocean a bit to the NW. Thanks you.
I tried to tell Leobeer that the Wankers would fuck up. Did he listen? Noooo.
I’m happy for Rooney’s 1st goal in a WC. That dude leaves his guts on the field every game. He deserved it. Still glad they lost.
I hate Uruguay soccer. They’re a province of Brazil, really, and they play the same shitty Faggotfuk Flopping style. Can you imagine if those two meet? All that lying down? It’ll be like a 90 minute tempurpedic mattress commercial.
Leobeer didn’t believe me about Columbia, or however the fuck you spell it, either. 0 for 2.
Next time, Leo, take heed at what that asshole above said …. I KNOW IT ALL!!
Herr StuchenFoosBaller
Stucky,
Blow me !
Love the voodoo that you do, Stuck. Can you and Leobeer pipe down and concentrate: Mexico over Croatia. Don’t ask why, just keep repeating that all weekend.
You aren’t just talking to yourself, old boy.
My cuz says the maquilas in Juarez have allowed the workers 2 hours to watch the partidos, or else put up with a lot of absentees. Says peeps there paid ~6,200$ for airfare, hotel and tix good for 3 partidos in Brasil.
Q: Why is Japan bb’s favorite team?
A: They can’t score either.
Damn, you’ll see more action watching snails masturbate. How the fuck did the Nips and Greeks even qualify? I duuno.
Zarathustra
says:
“…What do I win?”
A.) 70 hairy crotch virgins upon your decease
B.) A commemorative Iran vs Russia used jockstrap
C.) What makes you think you can win anything, Iran?
these are only suggestions, Admin has the power to bestow real awards.
Italy-Costa Rica Costa Rica beat Uruguay who were minus their best player. They won’t get that lucky with Italy. Italy will win.
Switzerland – France The toughest game to pick today. France has the classiest team and should win it.
Honduras – Ecuador It is very unlikely either team will make it to the elimination round so who cares. I expect Ecuador to have the game won by half time.
Your Daily Update …. which Stucky wasn’t going to do today, but then Leobeer had to make the dumbest fucking comment on this thread, and no, it wasn’t that charming “blow me” one.
Italy-Costa Rica Costa —– what Leo said
Honduras – Ecuador —– what Leo said
Switzerland – France —– what Leo said, “France has the classiest team”.
What. The. Fuck. Are. You. Smoking?? Did you blow Frenchie, and now he blackmailed you into saying that? If national soccer teams reflect their countries’ characteristics on the field—then the Germans are efficient, the Spanish are quixotic, the Italians have a flair for the dramatic ….. and the French are a bunch of Pussy Lickers. Literally.
I guess you haven’t heard about the team’s star, Benzema, (and others) fucking an UNDERAGE (17 at the time) skank ho prostitute? Ach du lieber! So Classy!!!
Actual picture (recent, not 17)
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fuckmedead. I shouldn’t have posted it. Now every one of you degenerate curs will be cheering the French rapists.
Fuck dat shit. The Swiss are quite the opposite. They are suffering from DSB syndrome. Deadly Semen Buildup. But, DSB causes males to perform extraordinary feats of strength. Therefore, the Swiss will crush French testicles. Mortal lock.
Then again, maybe Boinking her wasn’t such bad idea after all.
I’d have boinked her, if she had a valid ID.
“If national soccer teams reflect their countries’ characteristics on the field” — Stucky
Why would you think that national soccer teams reflect their countries’ characteristics? That’s pretty stupid if you believe it.
And what’s wrong with being a pussy licker ?
“Why would you think that national soccer teams reflect their countries’ characteristics? That’s pretty stupid if you believe it.” ————— Leo, who obviously drinks too much beer
Read the article I posted @5:09, “That’s How They Roll” … which talks about how America’s soccer team reflects American characteristics.
I am not the first, nor the last, who understands the connection. It has been made since the dawn of the modern era World Cup!!
I may be a “pussy licker” but, at least that means my head is in the right place. OTOH, you need to pull your head out of your ass, if you want to establish even a modicum of credibility.
” and the French are a bunch of Pussy Lickers. Literally” — Stucky
“I may be a “pussy licker”” — Stucky
What are you trying to say here Stuck? You tell me the French aren’t classy because they lick pussy which would imply the same to you ?
As for the piece you posted. American characteristics? I respectfully say, that you sir, need to pull your head out of your ass. I would guess that most if not all players on all teams have as much pride in their country and are giving it there all to win. Underdogs will win some games. Some teams will get outplayed and win. You don’t need to be American for that to happen.
I never thought you would fall for an American propaganda piece. Comparing winning a soccer game to possibly one of America’s greatest war victories — what a load of rubbish. Had the USA lost, would he have written the piece and compared it to the Tet offensive?
“Had the USA lost, would he have written the piece and compared it to the Tet offensive?” —- Leo
Stop being so silly, Beerboy. You’re analyzing too much, looking too deeply …. when I am talking in a GENERAL sense. For example,
Germans are generally said to exhibit a passion for precision ……. and that’s how most people describe German Foosball with their precision passing, technical ability …. having had one of the greatest passers of all time, Franz Beckenbaur
Japs are generally said to be conservative, don’t rock the boat …….. if your saw their game against the Greeks, that style of play was painfully visible
Americans generally are said to have a ‘never say die’ attitude …… and we’ve had some great come-from-behind battles — did you see Donovan’s last second goal against Ghana in the last WC?
Brazilians are generally said to be free-for all party-lovers ….. and they often play with abandon
French are generally said to be lovers ….. and true to form, they lick pussy before a game
And so on.
Don’t you see the correlation???
.
Lastly, regarding my own pussy licking proclivities. A few days ago Admin posted a thread “Turn, Turn, Turn”. If I may add to the for-every-season list; —- “there is time for licking pussy, there is a time for playing soccer. Turn. Turn. Turn”. (And the two should be separated by at least two weeks.)
Hey Leo
Looks like we were both wrong about Costa Rica.
In qualifying for the 2014 WC, Costa Rica tied El Salvador, lost twice to Mexico, lost twice to USA, and looked bad doing so (although they did beat USA 3-1 in their country) … and were literally one defeat from not qualifying. That’s why I dismissed them. Boy, was I wrong … but, the game isn’t played on paper.
So far, they are this year’s WC “Cinderella Team”. Hats off to them. Watching the Pure Joy their players exhibited after the game was, well, …. a joyful experience for me. Giant Killers! I hope they go far … but, not to far. Deutschland uber alles!!!
The bookies were giving 6:1 on Costa Rica. Games like this are what makes the WC something special. There are always enough upsets to keep things interesting.
It’s 1:23 am local time. I will watch the replays of the next 2 games when I get up.
The Swiss are getting dicked …….. down 3 goals at the half.
Shit! Sheisse! Merde!
Leobeer is gonna rip me a new asshole. I can take it.