The SNAP Card Gourmet 001

Off the keyboard of RE

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Published on the Doomstead Diner on October 31, 2014SAMSUNG CAMERA PICTURES

Discuss this article at The Diner Pantry inside the Diner

A while back I wrote an article called The Starvin’ Diner Cookbook, which I intended on becoming a series with Recipes for meals you can cook up on the cheap, but it’s one of those ideas that got lost with all the rest of the stuff going on in Doom, along with all the other projects we are always undertaking on the Diner to get the message out about the Collapse of Industrial Civilization, Podcasts, Vidcasts, yadda yadda.  These days, just Blogging Text doesn’t reach enough people, because they simply do not READ.  You have to use the whole panoply of media to capture an audience.

However, I recently moved to New Digs, and took the opportunity last weekend to do some Home Cookin’, which I rarely do anymore since it is much easier to just buy prepared foods or microwaveables, and I’m not really on a SNAP Card budget, although I don’t usually spend too much more than the SNAP allotment each week on food anyhow.

http://www.zerohedge.com/sites/default/files/images/user5/imageroot/draghi/may_foodstamps.jpg

With some 47 Million People in the FSoA now living on a SNAP Card budget, developing good recipes with the current food available that you can access either low priced at Food Superstores or sometimes free at Food Pantries is very important.  So over the next few months, I will be keeping my Food Purchases under the typical SNAP Card allotment for the individual of around $140/mo, $35/wk or for simplicity sake here $5/day.  File this under the idea that even if you are currently flush, it’s a decent idea to learn how to live CHEAP BEFORE you actually are faced down with the challenge for real.  Not the $2/day many folks in the 3rd World live on, but the economy here is different and making it on $5/day in food is something of a challenge in the FSoA.

FoodDonationsIn order to be better connected to the people who actually are currently in this situation and to become more active Locally, I have begun Volunteering at one of the local Food Pantries that serve the folks around here who have already fallen off the Economic Cliff, people for whom Collapse is  not a “Someday it Might Come” thing anymore, Collapse is already here for them.  I hope over time to be able to develop connections between my friends who own Local Farms and who are Commercial Fishermen and the folks already off the cliff or soon to be in need of sustenance to develop a comprehensive food distribution system ready to drop in place when JIT shipping and the Dollar fail.  I am in a unique position to do this for many reasons, and it is probably the most “real” way I can be of service, beyond writing on the Internet.  While I still believe it is important to try and work on the Grand Scale of the Global Internet and Blog the Collapse, I also realize that most solutions will need to be local, so ya can’t just Blog on this stuff, you gotta do something in your neighborhood too.

I decided to change the name of the Series from “The Starvin’ Diner Cookbook” to “The SNAP Card Gourmet” for a few reasons.  One is to highlight how large a segment of the population is already in the situation of needing Food Security Assistance here in the FSoA.  The other reason is it is an Homage to my favorite TV Chef from my youth, Graham Kerr, The Galloping GourmetWAY better than Julia Child! :D

If you watched about the first 2 minutes of this, you should be able to tell Graham generally did his Cooking Show 3 Sheets to the Wind, and often enough would consume an entire bottle of wine in recording the show.  LOL.  He had a ton of fun doing Galloping Gourmet, and it was hilarious because it was all impromptu.  I’ll be trying to do my Doomstead Diner Cooking Show in the same tradition. :)

I’m not going to try recording 20 minute shows yet, this biz will take some practice.  However, I will include a few clips along with the recipes and an accounting of the costs and cooking means, which I am going to adapt for Doom.

For this Week’s Episode, the two Dishes are Grilled Peppered Steak RE and Slow Cooked Baby Back Ribs & Alaska Veggies RE.

SAMSUNG CAMERA PICTURES SAMSUNG CAMERA PICTURES

Now the first thing you are probably going to say is “RE!  There is NO WAY you could afford to make meals like this on $5/Day!  That Steak BY ITSELF cost $23!!!!”

http://www.scuffproductions.com/scuff/wp-content/uploads/2007/10/mban490l.jpgYou would be right also, if you tried to eat this stuff EVERY day, and if you consumed all of it in one day at a single sitting like the typical patron of an All You Can Eat Buffet like Golden Corral.  You also can’t buy such stuff the FIRST week you start eating on a SNAP Card budget, you have to work your way into it by eating cheaper than $5/day for a couple of weeks, then use the savings to start buying some Premium Foods to sprinkle into your diet later.  I’ll demonstrate how to do this in succeeding episodes of The SNAP Card Gourmet, here on the Doomstead Diner.

Let’s begin here with the Pepper encrusted USDA Prime Ribeye, which is a very typical BBQ preparation utilizing a Dry Rub, a little BBQ Sauce, a couple of days marinating and about 20 minutes on the Grill.

The reason the price comes in so high here for this piece of beef is that it is USDA Prime, which generally you only get in Fine Dining Restaurants that serve the 1%, or in Gourmet Markets serving the same crowd.  However, here on the Last Great Frontier, at 3 Bears Food Warehouse, they occasionally get USDA Prime in their huge meat section, and this one looked so perfectly marbled and the right thickness for a good grilling I just HAD to buy it in Celebration of my move to the new Digs, which I chronicled recently in The Great Moving Adventure I & II.

Here is what the Steak looked like after a couple of days of marinating, but before being seared on the portable propane fired BBQ.

SAMSUNG CAMERA PICTURESOriginally I was going to go the full 9 yards with this and fire it up on a traditional Charcoal BBQ with a soaked Hickory Plank, but I got lazy and besides I have so many canisters of Propane in my preps I might as well use them.  Overall the improvement in flavor doing it this way is marginal, and it’s a pain in the ass so I just screwed in a canister and AWAY we go!

As you can see, this piece of beef is Picture Perfect with just the right amount of Fat Marbling, which is what gets it that USDA Prime designation.  If you scope out the Meat racks regularly though, you can often find USDA Choice cuts that are just about as nice, at about half the price of Prime.  I just about always buy Choice cuts for the BBQ, this was just a Special Celebration so I splurged on the Prime Beef.  NEVER buy Select Cuts for the BBQ, unless you really like chewing a lot.  Select is only good for the slow cooker.

Far as Spicing it up goes, here you do need to rely on Preps because some stuff like Peppercorns are going to be hard to come by when JIT fails, so you need a good supply of Spices laid in here.  Fortunately, Spices are one of those Preps that last a long time without Refrigeration, and as long as you Vaccuum seal them they will be good for years.  Salt will be good FOREVER.  Your main spices are Salt & Pepper of course, this I am good for 5 years at least.  Garlic after that is pretty easy to grow, and then many other spices like Rosemary, Thyme etc can be grown indoors hydroponically, so you can have a continuing source of those.

http://www.mccormick.com/-/media/McCormick/Categories/Products/GM_Bottles_289x194.ashxNo need for this right now though, I just used some of my copious prep supply of McCormick Old Monterrey Spice, one of my favorite meat spice mixtures.  Basted on a little hickory flavored BBQ sauce and let it sit a couple of days so the flavor penetrates into the meat and doesn’t just sit on the outside surface.

As you can see from the Cooked Picture above, the Ribeye is pretty well Blackened, so you might think it is burnt.  No, this is how I like BBQ meat, it’s called “Pittsburgh Rare“.  Black on the Outside, Still MOOING on the inside.  I came pretty close to perfect on it, just maybe 2-3 minutes longer than I should have had it on the grill to be perfect for me.  If you like a less black outside and pink inside, use a lower flame or move the grill surface higher off the flames.  Here’s the Taste Test of this BBQ:

In terms of Meals out of this Steak, I got 4 of them.  I can’t eat a Steak this size with all that FAT at one sitting anymore, I ate about 1/3rd of it right off the Grill and the rest went into Steak Sandwiches I had for lunch the rest of the week.  You can do all sorts of things to make them their own Gourmet meals, to one I added herb infused Brie I picked up on sale, to another I added some grilled onions and mushrooms, etc.  Still beyond the daily budget of $5, but not by too much, and within it if you buy a more economically priced Choice Cut.

OK, on to Dish #2, Slow Cooked Baby Back Ribs & Alaska Veggies!

As you can see in the background of the Steak Taste Test Vid, there’s a bunch of Batteries, a Slow Cooker, rechargeable Diode Lights and a Power Inverter (converts 12V DC to 120 V AC).  This is my “Battery Corner” with stored Power for short 1-2 Day power outtages, generally coming from weather related phenomena these days, but in the future possibly coming fro Rationed Electricity and Rolling Blackouts.  The main battery storage here on the counter is a 12V Lawn Tractor Battery, and one of the Battery Packs from my EWz Electric Scooter, which runs on 36V but is actually 3 12V deep cycle batteries in series which can be separated to work with a 12V Inverter.  Not necessary for this experiment, the Lawn Tractor Battery was sufficient.  Besides these batteries, I also have a much larger Deep Cycle battery in the Bugout Machine and its starter battery, and of course the starter batteries that are in my 2 Carz, a 1983 Mazda MPV and a 2003 Ford Explorer, and the other 36 Volt battery pack that is aboard the EWz.  Altogether, without recharging this is enough electric juice for a couple of weeks well rationed easily.

Why was a small 12V Lawn Tractor Battery sufficient in this case?  Because Slow Cookers have a VERY low power draw overall, not much more than an incandescent Lightbulb.  You can’t run an 1100 Watt Microwave Oven off a small SLA battery like this, but it will do a Slow Cooker no problemo.

Slow cooking is great for numerous reasons besides the fact it is low power draw.  Overall it retains the Vitamin content of the food better than when you cook rapidly at high heat.  It also blends flavors better, plus the broth you end up with makes fabulous and very nourishing Soup as well.  Besides that, you are by no means limited to doing it off your stored battery power, you can quite easily do the same thing by digging a hole in the back yard, burning some charcoal or wood and heating some rocks, then cover with some dirt, drop the Crock in on top of that and cover up the whole thing with more dirt.  Dig it out after 5 or 6 hours, same result as using the electrics.

http://www.sunoven.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/06/G-cooking-rice-and-beans3.jpgYet another way to do the same thing is to drop the crock into a Solar Oven.  Even here in Alaska, for most of the year if you do this on a sunny day, if you drop your Crock in the Cooker in at 10AM, the food is ready by 4PM.

The only downside of Slow Cooking is that except for stews and such, it doesn’t present all that well, so in this case with the Slow Cooked Baby Back Ribs, I threw them on the grill for a few minutes after the slow cook to caramalize the sauce and blacken the meat a bit.  This is tricky because the meat is pretty much falling off the bone at this point.  On the upside though, the veggies you cook along with the meat absorb all the flavors, and are as good or better than the meat itself!  They also really fill out the meal with both Calories and Vitamins.

Anyhow, without further ado and explanation here is the Taste Test on the Slow Cooked Baby Back Ribs and Alaska Veggies RE dish:

For those of you wishing to try this dish on your own Doomstead, here’s the Ingredients:

1/2 Slab Baby Back Ribs

1/2 a Large White Onion

4-6 Large Cloves of Garlic

Enough Carrots and Potatoes to fill the rest of the Crock Pot (1.5-2 Quart size)

2 Soy Sauce Packets (I save these so I never buy Soy Sauce)

1/4 Cup Teriyaki Marinade (you can substitute other marinades, whatever you got on the shelf)

1/2 Can of BEER! :) (drink the other half while loading the Crock)

Salt & Pepper to taste

Cooking Instructions

Cut the slab up to size to fit the Crock.

Chop the onion into about 1/2″ size pieces

If the Potatoes are Large, cut to around 2″ cubes.  I use small potatoes though even though they are a little more pricey

Use Baby Carrots or cut the carrots into 2″ long sections

Throw in the whole cloves of Garlic or chop them up, your choice.

Throw everything into the Slow Cooker and go Surf the Net looking for Doom Storiez for 5-6 hours

Fish out everything with a Strainer Spoon, and take the Ribs over to the Grill for about 3 minutes on each side to caramalize.  Do it carefully or the ribs will fall apart and through the grill and you’ll lose some tasty meat.

Conserve the remaining Broth to make Onion Soup with Stale Bread and some Swiss or Gruyere Cheese.  Another meal there.

——————–

Now, as mentioned, you can’t start off on your SNAP Card Budget with these kind of meals, you have to get very BASIC at the beginning.  Your nourishment for the first couple of weeks on the SNAP Card Budget is going to be pretty dull if you don’t have at least a few spices and other basics in the cubbard when Da Goobermint courtesy of JP Morgan Chase issues you your first month’s SNAP Card.  Obviously I have a ton of stuff to perk up meals stored, but for the purposes of demonstration here I won’t use them as we begin this exercise.

Next Week here on the SNAP Card Gourmet, we’ll start with the basics, and work our way up the Culinary Ladder from there.  By the end of the month, I should have enough saved up for at least 2 meals worthy of a $100 Ticket at a 1% Restaurant.  Not sure what I will go for with this yet, first I gotta see what I can conserve and what ingredients I can find on sale over the course of the month.

In the mean time, eat well, enjoy the Plenty while you can.  This is bound to get more difficult as time goes by.

RE

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52 Comments
John
John
October 31, 2014 8:53 am

An outstanding demonstration of common suburban sheeple activity across America, in this time of plenty.

As a topic related to why the country is doomed, thanks for the puerile demonstration of what sheeple pass their time thinking and worrying about.

Can we have a narrative on shopping at this 3 Bears place next, which coupons are best, your favorite aisle, which credit card you use that provides the most air miles? Maybe some home improvement tips, what color paint on the walls is best for dinner parties with coworkers, how to choose the best automobile when buying new, your favorite TV shows?

Dutchman
Dutchman
October 31, 2014 9:27 am

We like to cook – have the Viking Range, Subzero fridge, etc. But you don’t need to buy $21 lb porterhouse.

There’s a discount supermarket near us. I would never set foot in the place… but one day I needed something quick. I decided to look around, and in the meat department they had some roasts that were one or two days before the last sale date. Had bright yellow stickers “SPECIAL” – sirloin roasts for 99 cents a pound! Since then I’ve gotten chickens / pork chops / strip steaks / walleye etc. Trick is you need to go in the morning when they mark it.

Ethnic foods – Chinese / Indian / Mexican / etc generally use less expensive ingredients and are geared for lower quality meat.

Sauces can transform a bland piece of meat. BBQ / teriyaki / or my favorites come in foil packets – they have receipe suggestions on the back – you can get all kinds of gravies and hollandaise. Mix in a pack of French onion soup with your next meat loaf.

Unfortunately the FSA don’t cook, and wind up eating the most expensive prepared foods.

Stucky
Stucky
October 31, 2014 10:01 am

Fuck off!! This is a POLITICAL / ECONOMICS blog !!! You are pussyfying this joint. Yeah, that’s right, recipes are for PUSSIES!!

I have to take Ms Freud to the cardiologist …. routine checkup. Be back in the afternoon. I will continue to skewer you some more when I get back.

Pussy.

Dutchman
Dutchman
October 31, 2014 10:02 am

Hey John, who pissed in your cornflakes?

Dutchman
Dutchman
October 31, 2014 10:10 am

@Stucky: “You are pussyfying this joint. Yeah, that’s right, recipes are for PUSSIES!!”

In grad school I unexpectedly discovered that cooking a good meal (having a gal over for dinner) is a good way to get laid.

Cooking can definitely attract pussy – but you have to better than opening a can of Spaghetti O’s or Dinty Moore Beef Stew.

dilligaf
dilligaf
October 31, 2014 10:14 am

Two things RE –

1- Be careful you are approaching Clark Griswold status –

[imgcomment image[/img]

and 2- sharpen that damn knife!

oh, and john. Go piss up a rope.

John
John
October 31, 2014 2:21 pm

Nobody pissed in my cornflakes. I just don’t get the demonstration of how a modern apartment dwelling suburban sheeple doing a barbecue has anything to do with the theme here. If I want to know why modern America disgusts so many of us I can visit my local Walmart, why does there ilk have to come here and bother us?

We already know how these people think, how they work, how they have screwed up the country and by extension the world. Like detailing the tribulations of an upside down turtle, do we really need them coming here and TELLING us about it? WE get it, the inability to fix a single thing on your RV, the need to hire help to move a couple miles…goodness knows people don’t have the physical capability to load said RV with junk, take it to the next suburban location, and unload it….without paying folks to do it for us. And so now we have entire posts dedicated to…cooking a steak. Not a moose steak we collected ourselves using a rifle and that RV mind you, but the kind that requires the use and knowledge of whipping out a credit card at the local grocery. Not fish we caught locally, certainly not vegetables we grew ourselves, nope, lets go shopping!!!

And why did we move? Because now we can EV to our BAU jobs, have plenty of apartment dwelling friends to hang with, and have bigtime broadband so…WE CAN PRETEND ITS DOOM!!

Stucky
Stucky
October 31, 2014 2:56 pm

“ … it’s a decent idea to learn how to live CHEAP BEFORE you actually are faced down with the challenge for real. “ ———– RE

I couldn’t disagree more … at least not concerning food. WHY should I sacrifice not eating well today?? Just because tomorrow I might not? There is zero benefit to that … less than zero, actually. Believe me, if the time comes when one has to survive on less than$5 a day … the learning curve will be very short. I did it throughout college, and you learn really really quickly.

Meanwhile, I will continue to fully enjoy decent healthy meals, and without worrying about the cost.

Fact is, we HAVE cut back on numerous things. But, the one thing we both decided would be the LAST thing we would scrimp on is food. You are what you eat … garbage in, garbage out … and we refuse to risk long-term health issues for short-term gain (saving a few bucks).

Stucky
Stucky
October 31, 2014 3:08 pm

Now, regarding your recipes, I have a few things to say. As a disclaimer, recipes are a matter of PERSONAL taste. What works for you may not work for me, and vice-versa. In other words, there’s no real right or wrong. With that said ….

“Here is what the Steak looked like after a couple of days of marinating …” —- RE

A couple days??? Are you daft, man?

The purpose of a marinade is to ENHANCE the meat’s flavor and texture …. NOT TO OVERPOWER the steak’s own natural flavor.

The better the cut of meat, the LESS marinade it needs. Rib steak and filet mignons are the most tender cuts of meat and really don’t need any marinating …. but, if one must, then no more than 30 minutes …. over-marinating tender cuts will ruin the natural taste of the meat. On the other end of the spectrum are tougher cuts of meat ….. flank steak which is sinewy … a great candidate to marinate for 24 hours.

Marinating is just ONE way of tenderizing tougher cuts of meat. The other ways are; pounding with a meat pounder, scoring, or sprinkling it all over with a powdered meat tenderizer. I don’t particularly like powdered tenderizers because they contain monosodium glutamate (MSG) and large amounts of (bad) sodium . Don’t need that shit in my diet.

Anyway, all of these methods have the same goal in mind ….. break down the dense, tough muscle fibers and the protein that binds them. I almost always do a COMBO method; pounding the meat first, and then marinating. Works awesomely.

Stucky
Stucky
October 31, 2014 3:17 pm

“I HOPE still mooing on the inside …” —- RE in his video

First, you seem to be having quite a difficult time cutting that meat. You might need sharper knives. Or, do arm exercises. Or, stop eating raccoon.

Why “hope”??? Invest in a meat thermometer! They’re cheap … and you’ll never have to “hope” again. Insert the probe and …

—– 140 degrees = mooing
—— 165 degrees = well done
—— over 170 degrees = congrats, you just destroyed the integrity of the meat

Simple and accurate. What’s not to like?

Billy
Billy
October 31, 2014 3:24 pm

“I almost always do a COMBO method; pounding the meat first, and then marinating.” – Stucky

Man, you know just how I like it!

Stucky
Stucky
October 31, 2014 3:31 pm

“2 Soy Sauce Packets (I save these so I never buy Soy Sauce)” —– RE’s rib recipe

That’s nuts. You’re like a half-assed prepper. Lol Do you have any fucking idea what’s in that shit … or, is it you just don’t care? Here;

fuckin chemical bath
[imgcomment image[/img]

Make your own Soy Sauce. It’s easy and waaaaay better, not only in taste but also in preserving your health. But, I’ve read you don’t like doing such things from scratch. Like I said … half assed prepper.

SOY SAUCE RECIPE – makes 2 cups

1-1/2 cups ———–water
4 Tablespoons —– organic beef bouillon
4 Tablespoons —– raw apple cider vinegar
1 Tablespoon ——- dark molasses
1 teaspoon ———– sesame seed oil
½ teaspoon ———- black pepper

1. Boil water
2. Add the next 5 ingredients, boil for 1 minute.
3. Transfer to blender, blend on low for 1 minute
4. Put in a glass jar … refrigerate, it will keep forever

Stucky
Stucky
October 31, 2014 4:08 pm

“I just used some of my copious prep supply of McCormick Old Monterrey Spice” —RE

Good grief! I thought you were writing about eating “on the cheap”?

So, why pick one of the most expensive brands in the supermarket? McCormick is WAAAAY overpriced. An 18oz bottle of McCormick sesame seeds costs NINE friggin bucks … on Amazon. I can get a four pound jar of sesame seeds from the ethnic grocery nearby for five bucks ….. or a freezer size baggie of oregano for slightly more than McCormicks little jar.

People should buy spices from an ethnic supermarket (Indian, Spanish, etc), a farmers market, or on-line. Avoid McCormicks like the plague.

And, btw, some spices definitely lose strength over time. Three year old oregano tastes pretty flat, vacuum sealed, or not.

OK … I’m done commenting on this thread. Not like most people give a shit about this stuff, anyway.

Bob
Bob
October 31, 2014 4:46 pm

Much to the chagrin of some folks on this esteemed blog, things are not shaping up to be TEOTWAWKI after all. More of a 200-year correction type of experience. And it’s not even here yet!

In the meantime, people gotta eat! And, as Stucky says, eat as well as possible for as long as possible! After all John, people do not live by advanced thinking alone! Bring on the recipes!

John
John
October 31, 2014 9:28 pm

I’m not Jeremiah Johnson. And he isn’t the point. Suburban sheeple playing fantasy doom, and expecting to be taken seriously, is.

TEOTWAWKAN JUAN
TEOTWAWKAN JUAN
October 31, 2014 9:38 pm

The end of the world as we knew it came about after 1492. Your day will come, Gringo.

John
John
October 31, 2014 10:41 pm

Okay I’m ready for that report on credit card air miles now. How Doom means you don’t get as many miles per shopping spree? Or maybe an update on how not to be mechanically inclined, maybe we could get a multi page, with pictures and audio funnies, adventure on putting air in the tires of your electro gizmo scooter? Some help from other apartment dwellers, how you all together figured out how to get that little cap off the Schrader valve first, that could be part I? And then part II could be finding a local Lowe’s, buying an air compressor (more air miles!!), putting too much oil in it at first, and after a few hours figuring out how to plug it in? And then a hearty round of self congratulations on your doomer skills to accomplish all of this as a team?

Or is this too high quality of a topic compared to the others?

EC
EC
October 31, 2014 10:57 pm

Be still my foolish heart. John exhibits all the traits of a potential TBPer. Viz: Self-impressed, has a high regard of his own opinion, holds others in a negative light, jaded, anti-social, able to put words together to form a sentence without using swear words for punctuation, OMG, bb, come look at yourself when you were a newbie!

BOOSH!
BOOSH!
November 1, 2014 1:05 am

I swear to God, I thought FSoA stood for, “Free Shit of Amerika” not, “Food Security Assistance”……………That Galloping Gourmet Segment took me back to when I was a kid, I used to watch that with my Nana……..how great was TV back then? He could start the show with a glass of wine (if he wanted)………

dilligaf
dilligaf
November 1, 2014 1:51 am

BOOSH! says:

I swear to God, I thought FSoA stood for, “Free Shit of Amerika”

It stands for, Free Shit Army.

John
John
November 1, 2014 7:26 pm

Still waiting for the report on air miles accumulated during bursts of sheeple consumerism. I think, based on your claims of being a physical invalid and mechanical incompetent, that the “How to pump up your scooter tires when doom hits!!” is an absolute must.

Throw in side stories on how to pour milk on your cereal as a sideline within the quizzical “gee how do we unscrew this thing?” comedy?

Keep up the good work Reverse Engineer!!

[imgcomment image[/img]

dilligaf
dilligaf
November 1, 2014 7:44 pm

John, what were you for halloween, a broken record?

John
John
November 1, 2014 10:39 pm

Ben Bernanke. But few got the joke.

John
John
November 2, 2014 1:56 am

The folks in Kentucky aren’t so stupid as to put them in elected offices. Smarter than some other states for sure in that regard.

[imgcomment image[/img]

and the kids certainly don’t appear to be “improving” the image of the local much either…

http://www.theguardian.com/tv-and-radio/2014/oct/31/slednecks-alaska-jersey-shore-on-ice

Your confusion between doom and your sheeple existence, in the context of your neighbors, makes perfect sense really, and explains why you confuse your new broadband capabilities with doom…I mean really….

[imgcomment image[/img]

varnelius
varnelius
November 2, 2014 2:36 am

Personally, I didn’t mind this post. Keep it up RE, I might even start visiting your blog.

I work in a professional kitchen (country club-for the 1%’ers). I’m only a lowly dishwasher, but I’m also a perfectionist. I expect even the sides of dishes that aren’t intended to be eaten off of to be perfectly clean. Even now 6months in, I’m still surprised how often our kitchen will use a cooking pot as a ladle (gotta transfer large amounts of soup somehow).

I have yet to experience it, but the 2nd in command at our kitchen is a Hawaiian dude. He was bragging a few months back that he could make a tomato taste like roast beef.

All I know is, everything I’ve tasted from that man, has been down right awesome. Week ago ish, he did some home made hash, which kicked ass.

I just wish Fuku/Deepwater hadn’t happened, I don’t trust seafood unless it is something I have caught myself, locally. I’ve missed out on many of his dishes.

Even the most doomeriest of us doomers need to eat. Stirring up some convo on this subject is something that can perhaps benefit us all.

Llpoh
Llpoh
November 2, 2014 4:42 am

Stuck – your ways of tenderizing are not the best, by any stretch. The single best method of tenderizing is low and slow. I can take a piece of tough as leather chuck and make it fall apart on the tongue. Plus the cheapest cuts are the tastiest, if cooked low and slow.

RE really should show that style – you eat cheaply and it tastes better. It just takes time. I run my smoker 24 hours for best results.

varnelius
varnelius
November 2, 2014 5:07 am

“Adaptations to be made as the collapse progresses.”

Absoutely. Used to get by on $138/mo for 2 people on food stamps. Trust me I learned to coupon quick. These days with the dishwashing job, I’d be surprised if I drop $40 on food. Perhaps $50. I salvage so much that would otherwise be composted (and no I don’t touch food from customer plates–kitchen pans only). There is so much excess from the 1% that it makes me sick.

The other day, I was following one of those 1%ers downstairs after collecting and returning the dish cart from upstairs (the member area). Happened to hear this guy listing the “bowls” he had attended to another person. Was annoyed enough that one would go to “Rose Bowls” etc, that I complained to a few others. The bartender upstairs knew who the member was, and told me the kicker–the dude doesn’t even like football, is a hockey fan.

Hell yesterday I heard a Porsche Targa 4S that sounded about as good as a lawn tractor. Both my 96 Windstar and my 00 Century run WAY better then that POS.

Llpoh
Llpoh
November 2, 2014 5:20 am

So my sous vide is out, too?

You can get a good slow cook crockpot that does the same thing. I use one when I am not smoking brisket or turkey. I set it for an 8 – 12 hr. cook. Some chuck plus any vegetables at hand = yummy. And lasts for many meals.

varnelius
varnelius
November 2, 2014 5:29 am

Look guys, calm down. As said above, every taste is different. It’s convos like this that help develop others’ recopies.`

300 years from now, people might be making what we’re talking about here.

At $8./hr can’t afford gold, but I’ll keep stacking .22 LR.

Llpoh
Llpoh
November 2, 2014 5:29 am

My ceramic egg cooker is my favorite of all my many bbq cookers. It makes the best pork and turkey I have ever had. Not quite as god as a Smoky Mt. weber for smoking, but for good cuts where a few hours smoking is good enough, it is outstanding.

Plus you can sear steaks to steakhouse perfection. I take it up to around 1000 degrees, hit a thick steak a minute a side or so, let the steak rest for about ten minutes, drop the temp to 450, and cook it to rare. Let it rest again and it will finish medium rare. Slather on a dollop of horseradish and jump on that sucker. As good as any steak served anywhere. The key is the 1000 degree hit at first – you gotta have long tongs or you cannot get close enough to the fire to turn it.

Llpoh
Llpoh
November 2, 2014 5:31 am

V – you can make a great bbq out of used brick and metal grating.

varnelius
varnelius
November 2, 2014 5:40 am

Wow, never thought I’d agree with Ll.

But seriously.cast iron makes home made truly work.

Stucky
Stucky
November 2, 2014 8:28 am

“Stuck – your ways of tenderizing are not the best, by any stretch. The single best method of tenderizing is low and slow. I can take a piece of tough as leather chuck and make it fall apart on the tongue. Plus the cheapest cuts are the tastiest, if cooked low and slow” ——- Llpoh

Bullshit. And not bullshit.

ONE SIZE DOES NOT FIT ALL!!! One MUST take into account the cut of meat.

Once every 6 weeks or so we go to the local butcher and get the finest Ribeye in central Jersey … about $25 bucks a pound. Marinating that for more than half hour, or cooking it slow is a complete waste of time.

On the other hand, I buy cheap chuck for my Hungarian goulash, and yes, I cook that for several hours.

Billy
Billy
November 2, 2014 10:41 am

Decent thread.. can’t see how I missed this…

Couple thoughts:

– Shoutout to EC doppeling me. Thanks for being so obsessive.

– Vurt da Furk is up with shit-talking Kentucky and posting 100 year old photos of retards from… wherever?

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– Not bashing RE, since it’s not a bad post – having folks get by with less… But if this were a real doomer thread about eats, RE would take the plunge and post some recipes for making stuff you don’t normally eat – possum, squirrel, etc. I got a good recipe for Venison Sauerbraten that kicks ass, if anyone is interested. So far all it’s been is beef, beef, beef… more to life than cows, ya know…

– Bash Eastern Kentucky all you want, but those folks have been living off the land for probably longer than the US has been a country. If anyone can withstand a total collapse, endure and thrive, it’s those people… they use skills every day that most of us have forgotten, or never learned in the first place…

– Why has nobody brought up the possibility of growing a garden? Instead of a front yard or back yard, why not grow some healthy foods? Not a whole lot of room? Stack some big worn out truck tires up head high, fill them full of dirt and grow some potatoes vertically. You don’t need seed potatoes – just chop one up. So long as a piece of potato has an eye on it, it will grow and make more potatoes. Harvest time rolls around, just disassemble the stack and dig out your spuds… It’s really not that hard. Shit, last year we were shooting pumpkins with a 12 gauge. This year, where we were shooting the year before had pumpkins growing everywhere… didn’t even try to grow them and there they are.

– And why is nobody posting anything about lamb or mutton? I like a good steak as much as the rest of y’all, but grilled leg of lamb with crushed garlic and a smidge of butter? Holy shit that’s good! Can cut it with a fork and it’s way easier on the digestion than beef or pig… add in some roasted ‘taters and fresh greens? Okay, now I’m hungry…

Hey Stuck… I take back the bitching about having to drive all the way to Lexington for a loaf of bread to make that dessert… that place rocks balls! Holy shit they got some good bread there. Bought a half dozen loaves of good bread in addition to what I needed for the dessert…

Hey, you never told me how the LaugenBrötchen turned out… didja ever try making them?

Stucky
Stucky
November 2, 2014 1:22 pm

Billy

Yes, I did make the LaugenBrötchen ….. and they turned out gr-r-r-r-reat. My parents loved it and said it brought back nice memories. Thank you, again.

My mom asked me if I know how to make “wuchteln” … an Austrian “bread” that she used to make every weekend …….. looks like this;
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“Nope …. but, I’m sure I can find a recipe online” … and I did. Haven’t tried it yet, but it looks and feels authentic enough.

——————————————————–

Austrian Desserts: Wuchteln
Ingredients (4 persons)

500 g flour
20 g yeast (one cube or one bag of dried yeast)
40 g sugar
120 g butter
1 egg
1 additional yolk
1 pitch of salt
some grated lemon peel
apricot or plum jam (powidel, the heavy, thick plum jam)
a bit of milk

What Wuchteln are —– Wuchteln, or – in smaller size – Buchteln are a classic, rustic dessert made from a plain yeast dow. They are filled either with apricot jam (which you will get pretty much anywhere in the World) or “Powidel”, a very dense, dark-brown plum jam that contains a bit of rum and is very smooth. You might have to get that in Austria or make it yourself.

How to prepare Wuchteln

Might be a bit tricky the first time. Warm a bit of milk with some sugar and mix it with the yeast. After a few minutes, mix the flour (should be warm, at least at room temperature, to keep the yeast happy) and all the other ingredients except the jam to a smooth dough. Let the dough sit in a warm place until it gained about 50 percent of its volume. Use a big spoon to take small pieces of dough and fill them in your hand with a teaspoon of dough each.

Close them and put the individual Wuchtel into a pan or casserole with a bit of melted butter. Use a pan or casserole that has the right size to be filled with Wuchtels in the end. Cover the pan with a towel and let it sit for another 30 minutes in a warm place. Then bake the Wuchtels at 170 degrees Serve them on a plate, covered with icing sugar and with some vanilla custard.

http://www.tourmycountry.com/austria/wuchteln.htm

Stucky
Stucky
November 2, 2014 1:25 pm

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Llpoh
Llpoh
November 2, 2014 3:33 pm

Stuck – I said low and slow was best to tenderize meat. It is. Some meat does not need it, like the really good cuts such as you described. Even the expensive cuts can use a bit of smoke.

EC
EC
November 2, 2014 4:29 pm

“Shoutout to EC doppeling me. Thanks for being so obsessive.”

Had to go back and check, sure enough, it’s a doppel.

I copied and used it on Friday Fail, what a bozo. I didn’t get the sexual undertone of it, I took it as a straight buddy comment and applied it to the ‘Shining’ twins, in this case – the cooking twins.

I haven’t felt so dumb since the time I fell for SSS’ story about interviewing a woman over the phone.

This was a good post, late at night, in the middle of a dream, I wondered if Stuck could post a cooking vid to counter RE’s excellent video, I want a steak now.