I know this site attracts the most frugal, tightwad, non-materialistic curmudgeons on the entire planet. But, if you are so inclined to buy something this Christmas and don’t want to get run over by the obese hoards roaming the malls across zombieland, you can just click the Amazon button on the top right hand side of the page and order the shit you don’t need with the the money you don’t have while sitting at your computer.
I will receive 6% of every purchase and it won’t cost you a dime more. Think of it as sticking it to multi-billionaire Jeff Bezos, who will lose even more money on every sale.
You’d be surprised what you can buy through Amazon. I’ve seen junk silver, ammo, survival gear, and even red dildos (you know who you are ladies) bought through my Amazon button.
So enjoy your holiday season by never having to interact with the ignorant masses, while keeping TBP alive and fighting.
Here is the button in case you are too lazy to look for it on the side.
You just scuttled your amazon link there admin. No one will want use it if you get to know what they are purchasing. Keep you damn nose outa my red dildo. Unless you are planning to stop by and help me with it. Wink wink nudge nudge say no more say no more.
DQueen
I can see what was bought, not who bought it. Now you are free to order all the porn, lubricants, and blow up dolls you desire.
Hurry. bb is going to be buying all the blow up dolls he can get his hands on.
My dad used to leave the country every year around Christmas for a couple of weeks. Wise man.
When we lived overseas I reveled every year in the not-Christmas. It was a true joy not to be bludgeoned by the annual Christmas offensive.
It has gone beyond vile and intolerable, and moved into completely insanely insufferable.
But I’m fighting back by refusing Christmas. Ya refusnik. There will be no fucking tree in the house, no cheapshitfromChina holiday lights and decorations and gadgets, not even a lone pine cone. We have those outside. We’ll get presents for the little ones in family and that will be that. Perhaps a ham for dinner, one year I made blackened salmon and nearly burned the place down.
I hate everything about it. Thirty years of screechingly offensive Christmas marketing has put me off it for good. Blerg.
I knew this thread would bring good tidings and joy.
As a cheap bastard, this is how I donate to our imperious leader.
Who says it was the ladies, Jim?
Iska
Do you have something to tell us?
Is red your favorite color?
Stanley certainly is in the Christmas spirit. I already have the turkey bones boiled up for the post Thanksgiving soup and pie. Got up early and got my $5 wreaths and $1 poinsettias from Home Depot. No crowds, plenty of help and not one grumpy face, Today we will put up the lights on our humble little home, hang the wreaths and start the transition into the holiday season, music, decorations , spirit and all. When the kids come back from college we will put up a live tree and decorate it to the max. I love spreading Christmas over the entire month. No need for the shopping frenzy, not that I hold this against any one. Like most things, enjoying Christmas season is in the attitude, appreciating what and who you have around you. If you choose not to that’s your choice. I will embrace the season as I do every year and thank God for my good and great fortune to have a wonderful family and another Christmas season to celebrate with them.
Bob.
ADMIN
I was going to order a $8.00 bucket of DAP floor leveling compound from Amazon today but 6% of that won’t make you a rich man. I’ll try to come up with something better – It’s a great site and a good cause.
I admit, the red dildo was mine. My wife has never been happier!
Bea Leaver
Every 48 cents helps. Don’t go into debt to get me an extra buck.
Admin, He must not have been at the Norwood,MA store this morning. Many happy helpful associates, A Santa passing out candy, Free coffee and snacks, lots of lights and decorations and Christmas music. Home Depot may carry a lot of shitty imported.Chinese crap, but they also carry live wreathes and flowers as well as trees either purchased locally (flowers, I know the grower) or imported from Canada. BTW, you may as well purchase your tree earlier than later as most have already been cut by now and the later you wait the longer the tree has sat drying up, the sooner you get it into water the longer it will stay fresh. I can usually get about a month out of a Frasier Fir. Merry Christmas to all.
Bob.
Sorry Admin, I thought this was posting on the other Home Depot thread. Something weird is going on with either my computer or you sight. No big deal, Time to go for a run then make some soup, no working on the roof today, too much snow on the staging.
Bob.
As a fellow traveler, I grew accustomed to celebrating Christmas in other peoples’ countries…
No over-the-top high pressure screaming ads on the Idiot Box about “Holiday Sales” or mountains of cheap Made-in-Chinkland garbage for weeks on end…
Hands-down favorite… Germany.
After “Erntedankfest” – the German version of “thanksgiving”, with roots that go back to prehistoric times – where they thank the gods and goddesses for a good harvest – you don’t see a whole lot of Christmas stuff. Little by little, here and there, Christmas decorations pop up. No “Holiday Music” on the radio 24-7… you can play it if you want, in your own house or car.
The decorations are not over the top. Handmade decorations, not plasticky made-in-chinkland shit… very understated. The emphasis is on the birth of Our Savior, the son of the lord of all creation… Santa Clause does not exist. His predecessor – Saint Nikolaus, who was a genuine, canonized Saint – does exist, and he has his own feast day early in December. Children’s shoes are left out the night before, and in the morning they are found filled with chocolates and fruit. No toys.
Everyone goes to the “Weinachtsmarkt” – an open air Christmas market where all sorts of things – mostly hand-made crafts and decorations – are bought and sold. It was usually snowing when we went, which just adds to the fun.
Children make snowmen in the open spaces between the wooden stalls. First stop? Get a glass of “glühwein” (also known as “Gløgg”) to drink. “Glühwein” is mulled wine – red wine with cinnamon, orange, cloves, various other mulling spices steeped in it… it is served hot, and if you’re walking around the “Weinactsmarkt” without the obligatory glass of hot “glühwein” in your hands, then there’s something wrong with you… not only does it taste awesome, but it helps keep your hands warm… and alcohol always helps with when conducting business transactions…
No cops around to bust you because of “open container”… in fact, if you see a cop and he’s not drinking, then there’s something wrong…
People say “Merry Christmas” and mean it… None of this “Happy Holidays” bullshit that takes God out of our lives… for fear of offending the fucking atheists or the ragheads or the Joos…
Everyone is in good cheer… in stark contrast to the over-hyped, over commercialized distasteful disgrace that our own Christmas season has become…
I hope these images load… still having issues with that stupid script blocker…
Stuttgart Weinactsmarkt… smaller and more understated than others, since Stuttgart is sort of that way anyways…
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Glühwein being sold… comes in plain glasses or “collectors mugs” so hideous, they’re funny…
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[img]https://encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTaT2BtIhuJKTayYP56l4w4bmtQiHOVkEeFWYoSqcWNGHQSAZ8S[/img]
SHIT!!!!
That last one was me… again…
I’m starting to hate being compromised by shit….
My bad… again…
So the tent is their future home and they want a large screen tv to watch the riots on.
A red dildo just sends confusing messages. Merry fuckin Christmas?
I ventured into Wal-Mart this morning because they had guns 20 percent off. Bought the wife a 870 20 gauge youth model….perfect for her. The place was DEAD…this was at 7:30 this morning…no lines…no waiting…..I guess folks in Alabama are broke too.
“The emphasis is on the birth of Our Savior, the son of the lord of all creation… Santa Clause does not exist.” ——– Wyoming Mike or Billy
Well, that’s news to me.
We did celebrate St Nikolaus day. I got a huge solid chocolate St Nick.
The day before Christmas Eve my mom read me this book.
[/img]
[img
The title is “Tomorrow comes Santa Claus”. “Der Weihnachtsmann” (Santa Claus) never meant to be St Nick. That’s my experience.
The rest of the post is spot on. NO ONE makes more beautiful Christmas ornaments than the Germanic speaking people.
Admin
My wife is a gym rat and wants a “fitbit” calorie-counting exercise thingy that costs around $100. I’ll try to talk her into ordering it from Amazon through this site. That’s 6 bucks just for you. Woo hoo!!!! Aren’t I a stand-up guy?
Wyoming Mike/Billy and Stucky – that sounds really wonderful. Wish our Christmas was more like that. I remember when I was little, we made all our little Christmas houses for the mantle out of cardboard, painted them up in different colours, sprinkled them with sparkle, made snow out of cotton baton to sit the houses on, picked up pine cones to act as make-believe trees. To me, it just looked beautiful when it was all done. I’m sure it wouldn’t compare to what you can buy today, but it was special because we made it ourselves. Life was simpler then, and I believe so much better. We appreciated what we got because we didn’t have anything (neither did anybody else). Happy memories.
Fireproof that Christmas tree!
Once you get home with your new tree, get a saw and IMMEDIATELY make a fresh cut at the base of the tree trunk. This is mandatory for any tree you’ve bought. Make your cut about an inch above the bottom of the trunk.
Next, you’ll need a place to store your tree for a few days before taking it into your home, as it takes a few days for the preservative mentioned in the next step to fully saturate the tree. An ideal place would be the carport/garage or possible a balcony for apartment dwellers.
Immediately after making your cut from the bottom of the tree, mix the homemade preservative as follows:
Into a 2-gallon (or 1-gallon jugs) bucket, add HOT WATER from the kitchen tap. Fill the bucket to within an inch or so of the top, then add the following ingredients:
…2 cups of Karo syrup
…2 ounces of liquid chlorine bleach
…2 pinches of Epsom salt
…½ teaspoon of Boraxo
…1 teaspoon of chelated iron (pronounced KEY-lated)
Stir these ingredients thoroughly in the bucket(s); then IMMEDIATELY stand the trunk of the tree in this solution. Leave the tree in the solution containers for a day of two until you’re ready to take it indoors and decorate it.
After taking the tree indoors, make sure to put it in a stand with a water reservoir at the bottom. Once the tree is secured in its “final resting place”, get the bucket containing your preservative and FILL THE RESERVOIR IN THE TREE STAND TO THE TOP.
Last but not least, EVERY DAY, WITHOUT EXCEPTION, MAKE SURE THE RESERVOIR IS KEPT FILLED TO THE TOP WITH THE PRESERVATIVE SOLUTIONThat’s all there is to it. If you follow these steps faithfully, you will have a completely FIREPROOFED Christmas Tree to enjoy throughout the holidays.And, for those inquisitive minds, here’s an explanation of why and how it works.
The Karo syrup provides the SUGAR, and it is only in the presence of sugar that tremendous amounts of water will be taken up by the exposed tissue at the base of the trunk. Without the sugar, only the smallest amount of water will be absorbed. However, in the presence of sugar, you can expect more than 1½ gallons of the solution to be absorbed by the tree during a 10-14 day period.
But there’s more. Thanks to the boron you have supplied (in the Boraxo), the water and sugar will be moved to every needle and branch of the tree. Remember, boron is what makes sugar move, not only in trees, but vegetables, fruits and even houseplants.
Then, there’s the Epsom salt and the chelated iron. Epsom salt is magnesium sulfate, and magnesium (together with iron) is the center molecules in the process we know as chlorophyll production. By making the magnesium and iron available to the tree, you’re assuring yourself of green needles, even if the tree was not sprayed at the tree farm before being shipped to the market.
But what about the chlorine bleach? Chlorine stops a mold from forming when water and sugar stand for any period of time. Here, the chlorine stops the mold from forming in the bucket and the reservoir of the tree stand where your preservative sits.
http://www.marienville-fire.com/fire-safety-tips/using-the-fireproofing-solution-for-your-christmas-tree.php
I know this site attracts the most frugal, tightwad, non-materialistic curmudgeons on the entire planet. -admin [cannonball champion of Rascal cruiseship lines]
By Design!!!
~~~~~~~~
Keep you damn nose outa my red dildo -Dqueen
Say, your husband, boyfriend, didnt happen to buy a 15 yr old Japanese Android that ripped his heuvos off did they?
~~~~~~~~
Into a 2-gallon (or 1-gallon jugs) bucket, add HOT WATER from the kitchen tap. Fill the bucket to within an inch or so of the top, then add the following ingredients:
…2 cups of Karo syrup
…2 ounces of liquid chlorine bleach
…2 pinches of Epsom salt
…½ teaspoon of Boraxo
…1 teaspoon of chelated iron (pronounced KEY-lated) -Rise Up
Being a cheap curmudgeon. Fuck that. The fake Xmas tree preserves in the attic quite well. =)
Rise Up – that was a great write-up; very interesting. And the video says it all. Thanks for posting that! Remember, everyone, make sure your smoke detectors are operational. Change your batteries if they’re not.
I went to order my standard Christmas basket of goodies from Amazon – twelve cases of Lagavulin, a couple dozen bottles of Moet, a smattering of tequila and gin, etc.
Fuck me – Amazon did not have ANY of it.
Just how are we supposed to send business your way when you have a deal with a company that does not supply booze?
You REALLY need to get a better grip on understanding your readers. You need to be able to get them booze. And guns. And bullets. Bacon would be good too. Don’t forget Viagra (not for me personally, you understand, but for Stuck, SSS, and bb). Maybe toss in some cut rate dentures for hillbillies like Billy and Sensetti 🙂 .
Then you will get rich.
Seriously, do I have to do ALL the damn thinking around here?
Kill Bill – I am with you. Who needs the aggravation of real Xmas trees year after year. Buy a good fake once and be done with it.
This is a notice you should send out every month Administrator. I spend $1500 or more a year with Amazon but I haven’t been accessing Amazon through TBP for purchases. Sorry, I forgot.
I’d gladly help you out every time I buy but I need regular reminders to make Amazon-via-TBP a habit.
And Alzheimer medication for Jackson. Definitely need to be able to buy that on TBP.
And weed, if you ever want to attract a younger readership.
Another comment re Amazon-via-TBP so JQ can take in $ enuff to pay for his obligations and a few pleasures.
Amazon is the best source for practically everything and most is cheaper theough Amazon when you consider your time and gas required for shopping locally. You can buy damn near everything – including lettuce! – from Amazon. Another benefit from online Amazon shopping is the treat of getting a package in the mail. I started with buying books – cheap, even when postage is included – from Amazon. Then it was electronics, clothes, housewares, furniture, and almost everything else. All has been better, cheaper, and more convenient than buying locally. Look into Amazon if you want to save time and money.
And look into making Amazon your store if you want to help out JQ, the Administrator, and TBP.
Once again, Administrator, you need to come up with some way, that’s tolerable to us readers, for frequently reminding us to go through TBP to buy from Amazon.
Llpoh, thanks for the hint. But I looked: nothing specific for my Alzheimers on Amazon. That reinforces my request from TBP for a reminder.
@ Stucky,
I don’t remember Santa being everywhere. I did see some “Herr Weinactsmann” here and there, but they were mighty few, especially when compared to nativity scenes…
We didn’t read anything like that book to our son..
We read the story of the Birth of Christ, which is the whole point, innit?
Either way, Christmas in the Germanic countries is not the over-hyped disgrace that it is over here…. it’s WIN!!!
I miss glühwein… walking in the snow – the Christmas market was in the shadow of the Alte Schloß… carols sung in German… sitting at the Stammtisch with our friends…
Even though – at least in Germany – Christmas is celebrated on December 24th – on Christmas Day I remember walking outside in the snow. The sun was up. Stuttgart looked like a big snow globe. There was not one sound to spoil it. And then, as if on cue, it seemed like every church bell in creation started ringing at the same time….
Best. Day. Ever.
Hey Stuck, I know you went off the reservation – at least by your own admission – but here… even in Italian, this is awesome… Andrea Bocelli is one of those talents that comes across once a generation, if that…
@ Llpoh,
I put up a genuine tree every year because it’s worth it…
I put effort where it is worth putting. I don’t go out on Black Friday – hardly at all in the weeks after Thanksgiving. I don’t go to malls. I despise malls. I despise most of the over-hyped shit this season has turned into. And I don’t much like crowds – at least here in the US. Snarly, bad-tempered shop-a-holics maxing out their credit cards, pushing and shoving…
I also don’t go all Griswold and put up 25,000 lights on our house… we have very understated decorations. The outside decorations consist of:
– a wreath on the front door.
– two brass oil lanterns hanging from wrought iron hangars – one on each side of the porch steps.
Two of these. Made in Rotterdam by De Haan. They’re called “Anchor Lights”. Fresnel lenses… they look nice, especially when it snows.
[img]https://system.netsuite.com/core/media/media.nl?id=2385&c=449809&h=5c1a022db8990bb9dd69[/img]
And that’s it.
But a real tree? Oh, so worth it…
By the way, if you like cool stuff like quality oil lamps/lanterns (we are, after all, Doomers), head on over to Weems & Plath. All sorts of good stuff.
Typo…
Should be “Den Haan”
Not “De Haan”…
Who needs the aggravation of real Xmas trees year after year. Buy a good fake once and be done with it. -llpoh
Yeh, I got one that is pre-lighted. Bulbs burn cool no worries of fire…well, until the cold ass Turkey hits the hot oil
~~~~~
Oh so worth it…-Billy
That is your choice…I just burn a few Pine candles with the fake ass tree.
An LED is much cheaper. I put, in the eaves of the house, LED lights with a light sensor, from the front porch to around the house, looks good, the porch is lit at dusk and the electrical usage is really low.
That is your choice…I just burn a few Pine candles with the fake ass tree. — KB
Fake ass tree, fake ass smell, fake ass season…
Why the hell not, right?
Billy – bah. Humbug.
You cannot tell our tree from a real one without a very close inspection. And for the smell a can of pinesol will do the trick.
No falling needles, no fire hazard, no getting rid of the tree – and it looks the same.
But it has to be a good one – not a cheap $50 fake, but one that costs hundreds.
I heard that Amazon is hiring drone pilots. If you are within 11 miles of an Amazon distributorship you can have one delivered by drone.
But, I wonder if I can ship a Japanese sex android (what do they weigh?) to bb’s house……
Considering most ofd the shit under the tree comes from some commies…WTF not Billy?
Anyone remember this?
Heh..
“I don’t remember Santa being everywhere. I did see some “Herr Weinactsmann” here and there, but they were mighty few, especially when compared to nativity scenes…We didn’t read anything like that book to our son.” ————– Billy
It’s been one of the most popular children Christmas tunes in Germany …. as ubiquitous as Jingle Bells is here.
.
“We read the story of the Birth of Christ, which is the whole point, innit?” —- Billy
Yes, indeed. I imagine Jehobah and Jeebus are DISGUSTED with what this country have done with that holy-day.
.
“Either way, Christmas in the Germanic countries is not the over-hyped disgrace that it is over here…. it’s WIN!!!
That’s true. But, it might be changing. Germany can divided into two sectors …. mainly differentiated by age and state . The older people and the Catholic south in Germany tend to value faith and religion much more than the Protestants, the north, and of course, the former commie eastern Germans. The younger generation generally does not believe in God … in fact, I seen figures that as high as one-third of all Germans consider themselves atheist.
So Santa comes down the chimney and is greeted by a blond Vixen {for bb it’s a blonde dixen)\
And she says, while rolling down her panty hose, “Santa, please, please stay, I will do anything”
Santa replies, “Ho Ho Ho gotta go deliver those toys you know.”
The Vixen then starts to unbutton her blouse and says, “Santa, please, please stay, I will do anything.”
Santa, again, states, “Ho Ho Ho gotta go deliver those toys you know.”
The blonde haired Vixen then starts removing her very short skirt. She says, “Santa, please please stay, I will do anything!
Santa replies, “Ho Ho Ho gotta stay gotta stay can’t get up the chimney with my dick this way!”
“Hey Stuck, I know you went off the reservation – at least by your own admission – but here… even in Italian, this is awesome…” ———— Billy
That was better than awesome. That was very moving.
Me? Off the reservation? What gives you that idea? I am moved by majestic awe-inspiring cathedrals. Much “religious” music out there touches my soul. The faith of my long-dead ancestors still flows through my veins.
Now, of course, if you’re talking about that TRADITIONAL old time faith …. the type off hell and damnation and that fuck-you-if-you-don’t-trust-Jesus stuff … the kind that bb and Nonanonymous tout … then, yeah, I’m off THAT wagon.
Ah, Stuck, you appreciate the architectual constructions and not the rabid foaming of the I can save you from hell snake kissing doing God’s work type of Leveticus madness?
Good man.
@ Stuck,
I agree with the North vs South split in Germany…
The Bavarians and Swabians – largely Catholic – are more religious than the secular and Protestant North. They are, I think, also much closer to the earth than the industrialized north. The Bavarians and Swabians are chastized by the northerners, much like Southerners are here in the US by our own Northerners… called provincial, dull witted, slow, speak with a funny accent, religious, hayseeds, etc… They don’t deserve it, of course.
From my point of view – raised Catholic – well, me and another guy – much older than me – had a very long conversation and he was amazed that someone of my age – mid 40’s – would put together, on my own, exactly why the Roman Catholic church more or less went off the rails here in the US…
snip…
I almost broke my own code and went into a screed about why the RCC has lost so much traction here in the US… not the place, nor the time…
Maybe some other time… good to know you’re still on the reservation, though…
Yanno, Billy, for a truck driving semi-redneck, driving at high speed and crackings eggs, full of opinion, I would have a beer and a good BS session with you anyday.
Or should I say….JHK?
KB,
Awww, thanks…
I think most of the folks here on TBP are alright… yeah, there’s some lunatic bark-at-the-moon insane people, like Santori, but I guess that’s wherever you go…
And I’m surprised you would remember my little stunt with the truck and the broken eggs… normally, I’m all Driving Miss Daisy… slow and stately… but every once in awhile, I just like to see if I still got the chops… plus, it’s fun as hell.. 🙂
Shit… might as well just have a big assed bonfire in the snow and invite TBP regulars over for glühwein, beer, bourbon, rum, whatever… build a big fucking fire, get shitfaced and tell lies…
And I’m surprised you would remember my little stunt with the truck and the broken eggs -Billy
I’m sure quite a few regulars remember this,..
Shit… might as well just have a big assed bonfire in the snow and invite TBP regulars over for glühwein, beer, bourbon, rum, whatever… build a big fucking fire, get shitfaced and tell lies -Billy
I’m there =)
I actually went shopping today…
Raised as a JW, and living way out in the sticks, when there was something major going on in town, that was just a good reason to avoid it. This year, there was a local chain store that was supposedly selling something that was on sale for a “too-good-to-be-true” price. I ended up going there after work ended today and I took care of my paycheck.
Guess what, none of the sales the company website was touting earlier in the week were even anywhere close. (Perhaps I should have shopped black Thurs., to get them.)
The closest I will get to black Friday shopping next weekend will be to see what kind of deals I can get online. The bait and switch ruined me for this supposed “event” forever.
Not next weekend I meant next year.
How can not I tell lies when the history I was taught contains them?
Socrates, himself a subject of mistruths, but recognized them, lamented in Platos republic, at the end, you need only replace one myth with another. Socrates, as it turms out, was a sophist.
Just read an article that said when we make fun of the poor black folk fighting over underwear and TVs that we are being racist, that we should understand how disadvantaged they are, and quit making fun of them.
Those folks are one step above baboons, but we should not make fun of them? Geezus, there should be a damn bounty on them. Making fun of them is the least we can do.