Independent Vermont senator and self-proclaimed “democratic socialist” Bernie Sanders officially declared his candidacy in the 2016 election Thursday. Here’s what you need to know about the presidential hopeful:
- Given name: Bernice
- Nickname: The Vermont Bonecrusher
- Media Strategy: Name plastered all over countless rejected Senate bills
- Biggest Political Liability: Completely out of touch with the average American corporation
- Campaign Promises: Let’s not get ahead of ourselves here
- Key Endorsements: Burlington Free Press; Brattleboro Reformer; Vermonters for Schools and Community
- Campaign Slogan: “One percent of this country owns 38 percent of the wealth. The bottom 60 percent owns 2.3 percent. We are essentially living in an oligarchy, one that is headed for the edge of the cliff if we do not address the social and economic inequalities that are propelling this downward spiral. How can we ever expect to reclaim the respect and support of the international community when we are starting wars in the name of democracy? When in our own country we are handing out $285 million-dollar severance packages while millions of Americans, even with the Affordable Care Act, remained uninsured? I’m telling you, the warning signs are here, and we must act. My name is Bernie Sanders.”
- Previous Occupation: CEO of Altria
- Potential Forthcoming Signature Ben & Jerry’s Flavor: ‘Corporaisins Are Not Pecan-ple’ Crunch; Single-Payer Heath-Care; Undelectable Candydate
- Daily Workout Routine: 180 lbs. deadlift (3 sets x 10 reps); 160 lbs. shoulder press (3 sets x 10 reps); 90 lbs. bicep curls (5 sets each arm x 12 reps); 110 lbs. skullcrusher (2 sets x 10 reps); 320 lbs. bench press (2 sets x 8 reps)
- Campaign Donations: Non-refundable
- Vermont Public Radio Show: Power Of Darkness Bernie Sanders Metal Hour
- Dangerously Radical Fringe Views: Reform Wall Street, avoid costly and ineffective conflicts in Middle East, help working families prosper
“Let’s not get ahead of ourselves here.” LOL A cold state on the Canadian border with 600,000 people, 599,000 of whom are white can afford to elect pie-in-the-sky guys like Colonel Sanders and Howard Dean. There is much about Sanders to like, but his solutions make the most sense to people without many problems other than remembering to wear a scarf.
The problem I have with all politicians is I agree with certain segments, “Reform Wall Street, avoid costly and ineffective conflicts in Middle East, help working families prosper…”
Problem is we can’t trust either party to reform wall street because the money is too powerful, no politician will ever be able to tame the military complex because they are too powerful, and the politician believe they are all powerful and can create jobs or raise wages and prosperity is here again.
Bernie believes in socialism through the ballot box, all change should come from a fair vote by the people.
You have two cars, your neighbor has none and you feel guilty for being so successful. You vote politicians into office who promise to tax your cars, which forces you to sell one to pay the tax. The politicians use the tax money to provide a car for your neighbor. Now you each have one car and you feel good as this is fair.
Barbra Streisand and Katie Perry sing for you.
I never really got Mr. Sanders. He just seems to spout of populist slogans with no concrete ideas. It just seems incredibly naive. Its one thing, like the poster above implies, that in Vermont, a nice but irrelevant state that is out of touch with what is going on in the rest of America, too spout off populist slogans while the state is immune from Wall Street shysters and big city riots, but quite another to believe his ideas (?) and solutions will work for the country.
The black people gotta love them
Bernie Sanders could win the Presidency if he ran on one thing and one thing along…being HONEST, which he is.
That alone makes him rise WAY above the crowd!
Bernie Sanders is classified as “Independent” because “Socialist” is not available.
Seriously.
This guy’s history makes Obama look like Ike Eisenhower.
Anyone who thinks voting for one asshole vs the other one will change the larger picture for the better is too stupid for description.
All of these people are sociopaths, by definition.
If a decent person was actually available, and won election, he or she would last 5 minutes before a loose coalition of “interested parties,” headed by the CIA’s current managers, helped him or her meet God.
Guys like Bernie Sanders, Ron Paul and Dennis Kucinich are unelectable(as President) because they tell the truth. In Murica, “we can’t handle the truth”. So elect some Republican shit bag who will be a reincarnation of Bush. Immigration? Amnesty. Civil Liberties? The Patriot Act. Cut entitlement spending? Medicare D. Balance the budget? Endless wars. Then tell me how they were any different than the Liberals you are whining about.
The picture of Sanders is way too flattering. Most of the time, he could really use a comb.