WAL-MART FREAKS OF THE WEEK

Enjoy your Labor Day weekend everybody. I hope you all rock out as hard as this old lady for as long as this old lady!

I don’t mean to blow your operation pal, but I don’t think you’ve quite got the grasp on what “covert” means

Oh hello there. Thank you for showing all of us at Walmart your big fake breasts and your very real vagina, complete with landing strip for directional navigation assistance.

You really need to be doing some touch-ups on your look in line? You’re good dude, you couldn’t look anymore like Sho’Nuff if you tried.

Reason #64 on why the lines are soooooo damn long at Walmart.

It’s nice being able to capture laziness. It’s surprisingly a difficult thing to do what with the total lack of effort on people’s part to pull it off. But here we can clearly see someone way too lazy to walk into a 24 hour store and use their restrooms. Magnificent!

What the hell is this? Is this a Polaroid picture of a Walcreature? I feel like we’ve uncovered a fossil of the very first People of Walmart image unearthed.

Here is an SAT question for you. The family that goes pink together ___________ together. And go.

We’re bringing back all sorts of rock stars lately! Magic School Bus Lady looking as glamorous as ever!

Yeah girl, you better get some good conditioner for that beautiful blonde mullet that would make John Daly jealous. Keep it nice and strong.

Doing that “gotta get to the other bathroom for toilet paper” waddle.

native advertising

If you look very closely you can see every hunter jerking off in excitement for the fall hunting season.

Skulls, lightning, jacked up pitbulls….If this guy doesn’t wear American flag MC Hammer pants, a fanny pack and sells kids bags of weed and steroids, then I don’t want to live here anymore.

I’d call those jorts “booty shorts” but I don’t think you’ve actually got enough back there to qualify that as a butt.

It’s been quite some time since we’ve seen the legendary plastic sex doll walking the mean streets of Walmart. For a bit there I thought she somehow got deflated.

Good, maybe that bird can constantly repeat “No birds in the damn store” to you over and over and over again until you get the picture.

Girl, you best get that nonsense out of my face and out of this store before I gotta call my man Samuel L. Jackson on your ass.

I don’t know if you’ve heard, but he is kind of a big deal. People know him. He’s very important. He has many leather-bound books and his apartment smells of rich mahogany.

So the glass door containing pizza rolls is broken at Walmart. If this story doesn’t start with “So these drunk people or these stoners came into the store at 2:30 am” then I’m not sure I’ll actually believe the horseshit story you try to tell me.