Below is not an Onion quote. This was published a couple days ago in the Ottowa Citizen. This raises up several notches the level of Pure Insanity in which libtards engage. This has to be one of the batshit-craziest things I’ve read in the past few months, and that’s saying a lot.
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“Canada is a country worthy of invasion. Canada has abundant resources of fresh water, oil, coal and timber, all of which will be increasingly important as climate change continues its death march across history. The longer we scorch the Earth, the more valuable Canada’s resources become ……… we all know how Trump feels about oil resources …………..
Would President Trump wait for a pipeline? No. Waiting for a safe and legal pipeline takes too much time. Annexations for oil resources are much simpler. Just ask Ukraine. Given Trump’s connections to Putin via ex-adviser Paul Manafort, and his pro-Kremlin foreign policy positions, it’s not a daring leap of imagination to consider that Trump might put Putin’s tactics to use regarding Canada.“
http://ottawacitizen.com/opinion/columnists/ashby-what-will-you-do-when-trumps-troops-invade
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Q1: How fucked up are Canadians compared to ‘Murikans? Less nuts, about the same, or waaaay fucken nuttier?
Q2: Seriously, do you ever see a plausible scenario where the USA!USA!USA! actually does invade Canada … let’s say in the next 50 years?
Q3: How long would it take to defeat Canada? (Don’t forget to take into account the Frenchie speaking surrender monkeys.)
Q4: Once we capture Canada, what should we do with Rob In Nova Scotia, Francis Marion, and other Canadian TBPers? Grant them refugee status? Take their homes? Rape their cattle?
.
“what should we do with Rob In Nova Scotia”
Nova Scotia translated is “New Scotland”
Know why Scots wear kilts? Because the sheep can hear the zippers! So I guess Rob is one of us. We’ll have to take him in.
lol
Thanks for the emphatic invite Dutchy! No need to worry. These days I just drink beer and watch baseball. Pretty haremless!
How about that game last night. Have to say one of the best I have seen for a while.
Little known fact is Scots didn’t start wearing kilts until the the 1700’s. Likely why my ancestors were driven out of Highlands. The Lords got tired of the slaves raping the sheep….
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/History_of_the_kilt
slainte!
RiNS
Q: What’s the definition of a Scottish whorehouse?
A: A croft with 12 sheep.
Disclosure – great grandmother is from the Isle of Muck.
Q1: waaaay fucken nuttier………
Q2: If not USA USA USA!!…. then Russia will…….mind you we give our resources away for practically free anyways.
Q3: Not long…. maybe 2 days at the most….
Q4: I wish to invoke asylum on the TBP!
At least we will have an American dollar worth nothing as opposed to the Kanuckistan peso which is 25% lower than nothing right now and we will have a real constitution without that annoying “Not Withstanding” clause!! Oh and Skippy will have to go back to giving ski lessons!
Q1 – waaaay fucken nuttier
Q2 – No
Q3 – 1 day
Q4 – Put the Deplorables RiNS and Francis Marion in charge of Canada.
1. Pretty much the same as Americans – stupid enough to let Liberals run the place.
2. No, just nonsense
3. Well, if you’re just talking about taking over Ottawa and perhaps Toronto or Montreal, probably not too long. Could take decades, or more, to take over provinces and territories. The Canadian Swamp Fox and his pack know every spot and ambush point in the hinterlands. Would take forever to flush them out. Besides, our military would play hell traversing the hilly terrain in their red high heels.
4. Appoint them Provincial Premiers if they so choose to accept., regardless, grant them the status they choose. (Excepting Cdubbya, of course – nothing personal Cdub, mind you, but the goal is a liberal cleansing)
there is as big a fight for liberty in canada as in the US….
there are some real good gems of sanity coming out of canadas roiling…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wOHAdfyRUI8
1. I am hoping this dipshit author is an extreme outlier (but might not be, universal HC and gun control is pretty rampant)
2. somewhere between 0% and 0.00%
3. see answer to # 2, just substitute “%” with hours
4. Make them formal STM Chiefs of their provinces
Q1: How fucked up are Canadians compared to ‘Murikans? Less nuts, about the same, or waaaay fucken nuttier?
Way nuttier! Fuck Hillary could murder 12 year old child, Live At 5, and still get people to vote for her!
Q2: Seriously, do you ever see a plausible scenario where the USA!USA!USA! actually does invade Canada … let’s say in the next 50 years?
No need. Why invade what you already own! USA!USA!USA! gets money for nothing and chicks for free because of Federal Reserve Fiat! Thanks IS for edjamacating me on that one! Merci!
Q3: How long would it take to defeat Canada? (Don’t forget to take into account the Frenchie speaking surrender monkeys.)
In Quebec as long as you promise
croissants and a pretentious Latté
it would be sometime after petit dejeuner.
Ontario a bit longer because it takes three days to drive across province.
Trust me on this.
I just drove to North Bay. It is still another 1700 km’s to Manitoba border.
The Prairies a bit longer because of you guys would get fucked up with directions and distances because of metric system and run out of gas in Thunder Bay! It is our secret weapon but only will delay inevitable. So five days tops!
The coast will be a tuff nut to crack because if you think folks in Portland are pretentious then you ain’t seen nothing yet. That said it would be about a week because it won’t be long before you figure out that the folks in the Interior will greet you as liberators.
And Then there is East coast!
I am thinking it will never be taken because after next Tuesday Cape Breton Island will be sinking under weight of all the Libtards fleeing a Trump victory. Why take back a problem you just got rid of! Besides we have less money and less spicy food than Mexicans. If that fails then there is a secret weapon. We don’t have Montezuma’s revenge but we do have beaver fever!
Stucky get you mind out of gutter. Not pretty!
Think Hillary’s nether regions if you need to draw a picture!
You guys get that and you will be running back to Maine with your ass on fire!
Q4: Once we capture Canada, what should we do with Rob In Nova Scotia, Francis Marion, and other Canadian TBPers? Grant them refugee status? Take their homes? Rape their cattle?
No need to grant. I’ll just sneak across border at St Stephen NB with a box of chocolates!
Besides much more sexy to be an illegal Alien!
Q1. Way, way, way, way (x 10^5) nuttier.
Q2. No. We would then be responsible for them, which no sane human wants. Also, we have no one trained as beaver farmers. so its a no go.
Q3. Canada cannot be defeated; you have to fight first. (I am, of course, ignoring the two previous US invasions, which failed due to beaver fever overcoming the troops). Actually, Canadians are fine folks, so I find no need to defeat them in battle.
Q4. If they can be persuaded to serve, put them in charge. If not, ask them to set up the next Canadian government as consultants so the rest can get back to their gravy fries, doughnuts and buckwheat pancakes.
Next problem?
Make America great again….. Canada to!!! Vote Trump?
Q1: How fucked up are Canadians compared to ‘Murikans? Less nuts, about the same, or waaaay fucken nuttier?
About the same. Our liberals are probably crazier on average than yours but in their defense they can probably find Syria on a map.
Q2: Seriously, do you ever see a plausible scenario where the USA!USA!USA! actually does invade Canada … let’s say in the next 50 years?
No. The USA and China already own vast swaths of our resources and real estate. Why would they waste money on invading Gaul if they already more or less own it?
Q3: How long would it take to defeat Canada? (Don’t forget to take into account the Frenchie speaking surrender monkeys.)
Seriously? We’re 1 tenth your population and for lack of reserve currency status have a military that reflects it. That being said how are things going for you in Afghanistan? 🙂
Q4: Once we capture Canada, what should we do with Rob In Nova Scotia, Francis Marion, and other Canadian TBPers…. Rape their cattle?
Reminds me of a joke about a woman who goes to report on a long lost tribe of natives that are living in the Territories who have never seen a white man before. She asks the chief why all the men in the tribe are wearing different amounts of feathers in their hair?
The chief says “Well, each feather represents how many wives each brave has. That guy over there has 3 feathers so he has 3 wives. That guy has 6 feathers so he has six wives”
The reporter notices the chief has many feathers and she asks him how many wives he has. He responds “They are all mine, big, fat, short, tall, me fuck em all!”
The female reporter gasps and says “Oh dear!!”
To which the chief responds. “No. Me no fuck deer. Asshole too high and run too fast.”
Pretty funny joke. I heard the following joke yesterday on Sirius comedy. I’m going to shorten it up a lot.
So, this Jewish couple in czarist Russia have a daughter. Turns out she’s as ugly as sin. The parents know that to get her married off they will need a huge dowry. So, for twenty years they save and accumulate many riches. On her 20th birthday the father hitches the large cart of riches to the horse as he and his daughter travel to meant the groom’s parents. Along the way they are robbed of absolutely everything. The father is distraught that he has nothing to present to the groom’s parents, and that is ugly daughter will never marry. But, she tells her dad not to worry, and then shows her dad a 30-carat diamond ring. “Oy veh!”, he exclaims, “where did you get that?” And she says, “Oh, when I saw the robbers from far off, I just hid the ring in my vagina!”. To which the father replies, “Too bad your mother wasn’t here. We could have saved the horse and cart.” Bada Boom!!!
That’s pretty sick. And funny…. Lol.
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Canada is going down the drain.
I keep saying the only ones in the world who still have a chance to save our kids from total and terminal slavery are the American Freedom Fighters. But i’m just a paranoid, racist and sexist freak, so nobody ever listens.
Deplorable.
Wow. I have a new friend!! Yippee!!!!
Fuck Man the Interweb must be pretty scary place for folks like you!
We are just trying to have a laugh Russia. Lighten the fuck up man….
Pernamentally banned! Come on Pусский it takes a libtard level of stupid to get banned from here. So much so that nobody does! Time to get that diaper changed!
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Q1: How fucked up are Canadians compared to ‘Murikans? Less nuts, about the same, or waaaay fucken nuttier?
Well, they’re not ‘Muricans so they’ve got that going for them. I’ll with “aboot the same”.
Q2: Seriously, do you ever see a plausible scenario where the USA!USA!USA! actually does invade Canada … let’s say in the next 50 years?
If they were to start accepting Euros, Yen, Reminbi, gold and other things instead of dollars in trade for their oil and other resources, our owners would send their global mafia muscle (US military) to take care of business pronto!
Q3: How long would it take to defeat Canada? (Don’t forget to take into account the Frenchie speaking surrender monkeys.)
Aboot two weeks.
Q4: Once we capture Canada, what should we do with Rob In Nova Scotia, Francis Marion, and other Canadian TBPers? Grant them refugee status? Take their homes? Rape their cattle?
If they’d lower themselves to allow it, make them ‘Muricans except for cdubs and doogie pecker. You can place them in matching Iron Maidens next to my bed so I can hear their screams as I drift off to sleep.
We already have Canada, as much as we want. There isn’t really much of a border, what with the same language and (until the Hispanics in the US and Chinese in Canada take over) a shared culture and broad legal tradition. It’s not like anyone is going to actually occupy the fucking place. Hell, Canadians don’t even occupy much of Canada.
We love our Canadian brothers and sisters, Even the trannies, I guess. And they aren’t exactly going anywhere.
No worries!
“his pro-Kremlin foreign policy positions” Oh, you mean like not inciting a nuclear war like Hitlery? What a waste of time piece.
Screw Canada and the libtard politicians they rode in on.