Exxon Telescreens

Guest Post by Eric Peters

The really top-drawer dystopian novels end up like news accounts that got published a couple of decades before the events they describe.

Orwell’s 1984 came to mid the other day as I rolled up to a pump at an Exxon station and found myself being pestered by a TeeVee built into the gas pump. It came to life – loudly – as soon as I fed my credit card into the reader. Pushy sales pitches masqueadring – as online – as “content,” the euphemism for ads from which you will “learn” more as opposed to merely being the object of a sales pitch.

Is there any escape from perpetual peddlering? How long before someone figures out how to embed a tiny flatscreen on the side of a Starbucks coffee cup?

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It’s not two-way, I don’t think.

Yet.

But like Orwell’s Telescreens, you can’t turn it off or even turn it down – unless you are an Inner Party member, I suppose – and the only way to get away is to stop pumping and flee. I did exactly that.  I put in the bare minimum $5 and took off.  Luckily, there are still some old-timey stations that just pump gas and not ads, too.

Speaking of which – how about Yahoo?

They are doing the electronic-funnel-in-your-mouth thing, too. If you empty your email (in-box, spam, trash) a got-damned video begins to play. You did not ask – or click. It just does. And turning it off is hard. Some bastard arranged the software such that you have to click double-plus-twice before the damnable “message” cues off.

This has also become SOP on CNN’s site.

Try to read something – and within seconds, a video plays. And will continue playing. Endlessly. YouTube, too. Watch one video – one you chose to watch – and another dials up, unless you manually click on “cancel.”

I guess they don’t want people to read anything – and silence is, of course, dangerous. People might actually think if they weren’t being constantly distracted by metrosexual male announcers with ubiquitously scruffy beards (the one still-allowed expression of superficial maleness) or his always-perky female counterpart.

On and on they yak, never ending.

There are TeeVees in McDonald’s. Everywhere. Most people have several in their homes, there’s one in their car and they carry around a miniature one in their pocket or purse.

Just like 1984 – only voluntary in the technical sense that the government hasn’t exactly forced them on people. But try to avoid them, regardless. It is damned hard. Even if you personally don’t grok or want and may actually despise all this stuff, you’re carried along for the evil ride, as in a rip tide.

A gadget-bedazzled public wants this stuff and the corporations happily oblige because there is money in it. The banks spew debt to finance it and everyone – or almost everyone – “buys” in because hey, plants crave Brwando. It has electrolytes and plants crave that.

Try to buy a new car without a TeeVee built into the dash. It is almost as hard as finding a car without air bags, but unlike the air bags the TeeVees weren’t mandated by the government. The child-minded fools out there want to be distracted and to peck at images on a screen like seagulls do at scraps of aluminum foil left on the beach.

Most car reviews – not mine, I am an Aurochs –  hardly mention mechanical things or driving things. Instead, they harp on the electronic things. Because, like plants and Brwando, it’s what people crave.

The dystopian novels were predictive in another important way. The only escape is to shed the lot of it. Halfway measures aren’t possible. You face the choice of becoming a bedazzled Elio who craves his Brwando fix each day – or you can become a Mr. Savage, as in the counterpoint to Orwell’s 1984 – Huxley’s Brave New World.

Which, arguably, was the more predictive of the two. Control – via soporific and enstupidation rather than outright violence, which in the Huxlian world was hardly ever necessary. Turn adults into perpetual children, addled and – mostly – docile. Feed them sex and distraction, especially sports but also celebrity.

Keep them entertained – which means, keeps their minds off anything else. Do this early – and often enough – and they will never develop the capacity to think. Or mind being fed “content” while they feed their car petroleum Brwando.

It is, after all, what they crave.

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19 Comments
Back in PA Mike
Back in PA Mike
August 14, 2017 8:26 am

We work with a commercial real estate web service. They actually mailed us a TV made of cardboard that simply ran all of their ads.

musket
musket
August 14, 2017 8:52 am

Hate those…oriented towards 6th graders…..two in my home town with exxon/mobil pumps. I go the one without the yak yak….penny a gallon more but worth it…..better coffee too.

Diogenes
Diogenes
August 14, 2017 10:04 am

Saw these at a Shell Station I went to. Super fucking annoying! Do the sheeple need to have a TV blaring around them at all time? Archonic bull shitte.
Defiant Goyim
Diogenes

Maggie
Maggie
August 14, 2017 10:38 am

I hate it when the gas pump starts talking.

Gloriously Deplorable Paul
Gloriously Deplorable Paul
August 14, 2017 11:17 am

The Arco station I use near my house has these screens. They came with the new pumps a couple years ago. By now the screens have been defaced by gang pukes to the point they’re barely legible and the speakers have all been punctured through their grills by sharp objects. And the new pumps don’t accept cash or credit cards. Only debit or Arco gas cards.
That’s all ok. 8-10 cents a gallon cheaper than surrounding stations and right on my way to work make it worthwhile.

Trapped in Portlandia
Trapped in Portlandia
August 14, 2017 11:33 am

For the first time in my life I’m glad I am not allowed to pump my own gas in my state of Oregon. I can simply sit in my car with the window closed.

Rdawg
Rdawg
  Trapped in Portlandia
August 14, 2017 11:40 pm

I live in UT but have friends and family in WA. I make the drive several times per year and always fuel up in Idaho or Washington before driving through Oregon. I hate that bullshit of having to wait for the flunkies to venture out to spill gas on the ground worse than I would have.

zelmer
zelmer
August 14, 2017 12:14 pm

Actually it can be interactive. A local gas station GSTV screen was customized so that it will print out a coupon if you want it to use in their store. I saw it couple of times over the last 6 months.

RCW
RCW
August 14, 2017 12:41 pm

The local shell-out station has these TV pumps. In my case, the advertising falls on deaf ears as I’m distracted by taking the time to pop the hood, check oil, tranny & brake fluids and coolant followed by cleaning the windshield. By the time I’m finished with the checks & the tank is fuel, it’s receipt print time and I’m off, ignoring every word from the pump.

Fiatman60
Fiatman60
August 14, 2017 1:04 pm

No Tee Vee’s out in the bush yet….. But they will become a real bonus when they do, to tell me where the !@#$ gold is hiding!!

Stucky
Stucky
August 14, 2017 1:07 pm

Isn’t a large part of GDP consumer based?

If so, it should come as no surprise that the mesage to BUY!BUY!BUY!BUY-YOU-LOUSY-MOTHAFUCKER!!!!!!!!! is almost literally everywhere, and all the time .

TV show which are no longer shows … but commercials with a few minutes of showtime allowed … like dat Spike station (and sevral others) which show 90 minute movies over a THREE HOUR timespan!!. Constant ads on the radio … even SIRIUS. Newspaper, magazines, billboards, non stop telemarketing ads, ….. and on and on and on, literally thousands of BUY!!! every single day.

I’m so fucken tired of it. I’m trying to be a minimalist. I’m trying to detach from this system of things. To have as few attachments as possible. But, it’s hard to do, as I have been a willing fucken consumer for most of my life. Meanwhile, Ms. Freud is getting somewhat used to my tiresome refrain … “No. We don’t need that shit!!!”. And then she says, “Please? It’s just toiletpaper.”

GilbertS
GilbertS
August 14, 2017 3:10 pm

I’ve found that repeated tapping on one of the buttons as soon as the feed starts often mutes the programming. Otherwise, I have to restrain myself from spitting on the screen and tearing the machine apart. Having a conniption fit on your way to work is soooo unnerving for the other commuters.

absail
absail
  GilbertS
August 14, 2017 6:21 pm

We had one at the sunoco, so I covered the speaker in bumper stickers. I like the idea of puncturing the speaker even more. But I just decided to never go to a sunoco again.

Tampa Gold
Tampa Gold
  GilbertS
August 16, 2017 3:58 pm

Agreed GilbertS, at the Shell station in Dry Ridge Kentucky, pressing the second button up from the bottom on the right side will silence them. They have four up each side of the screen. That or after one particularly irritating drive from Ohio where every motherfucker there has to constantly brake check you, I was in no mood to push buttons after all of mine had been repeadedly pushed adfinium, so another way to disanle them is a hard puch to the center of the screen. That was four months ago and since then, 4 of the eight have been handled the same way. Not by me, I just started the blowback bashing of the screens and now others are doing it too. My guess is as enough of them get puched dead, the cost factor to keep replacing them will eventually make them go away. I have been without teLIEvision for over 8 years now, and I’ll be god dammed if I will tolerate it at the pump while mining my own business pumping gas.

Fuck. That.

Anonymous
Anonymous
August 14, 2017 3:16 pm

Me not being a computer geek ( I can not even answer my kids cell phone), I have a question. If I am paying for a finite amount of internet time or data and these auto videos pop up, is that not the same as stealing from me?

Tampa Gold
Tampa Gold
  Anonymous
August 16, 2017 4:04 pm

Yes, yes it is.

As it is when ‘Peter’ whom sounds more like ‘Patel’ when he calls you on your phone to tell you that microsoft technical has deteced a problem with my computer, an crapple iPutz.

Yes, you are paying for someone else to pimp their shit to you.

Fuck. That.

Jimmy Torpedo
Jimmy Torpedo
August 14, 2017 9:46 pm

When I go to the gas station I have a guy pumping, a guy checking my air pressure and a guy checking my fluids.
I usually wave the other two guys off because I am too cheap to give them a 30 cent tip for something I am already aware of. And my dogs freak out when there are too many dudes running around the car doing ‘strange’ stuff.
Props to the gas station guys for even approaching the truck with a 140lb Fila Brasiliero hanging out the window though.

EL Coyote
EL Coyote
  Jimmy Torpedo
August 14, 2017 11:25 pm

Welcome to the future, Jimmy! What year did you come from, 1968?

Rdawg
Rdawg
  Jimmy Torpedo
August 14, 2017 11:47 pm

“Props to the gas station guys for even approaching the truck with a 140lb Fila Brasiliero hanging out the window though.”

Pffft. Nothing 240 grains wouldn’t fix straight away.