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It is my sincere desire to provide readers of this site with the best unbiased information available, and a forum where it can be discussed openly, as our Founders intended. But it is not easy nor inexpensive to do so, especially when those who wish to prevent us from making the truth known, attack us without mercy on all fronts on a daily basis. So each time you visit the site, I would ask that you consider the value that you receive and have received from The Burning Platform and the community of which you are a vital part. I can't do it all alone, and I need your help and support to keep it alive. Please consider contributing an amount commensurate to the value that you receive from this site and community, or even by becoming a sustaining supporter through periodic contributions. [Burning Platform LLC - PO Box 1520 Kulpsville, PA 19443] or Paypal
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To donate via Stripe, click here.
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Use promo code ILMF2, and save up to 66% on all MyPillow purchases. (The Burning Platform benefits when you use this promo code.)
To all my liberal wing-nuts friends:
Rudolph is a fucking reindeer, you morons.
Oh man, this is just too damned funny. I was watching this the other night with my kids (ages 14, 17 and 19) just for old time’s sake, when I mentioned that it had to be considered horribly un-PC and outright, “Ray-ciss” in today’s environment. My kids said I was over-reacting and I bet them that within just a few years, it would no longer be aired anywhere on mainstream TV. Looks like Ol’ Dad was right after all.
What are the 7 examples.
1. Santa’s hates ginger Reindeer
2. The Reindeer community hates ginger Reindeer
3. Hermey’s boss pigeon-holing his vocation by his race
see: https://www.buzzfeed.com/waggy/7-examples-of-blatant-racism-in-arudolph-the-red-hjis?utm_term=.nmbgkno9#.kmAKk2Ae
Fucking retards
The reality remains ‘the owners’ will not rest until their useful idiots have pulled down western civilization’s entire edifice of lasting, core values under the pretext of …. anything!
Taking a flamethrower to the broadcast-TV childhood memories of millions of angry, patriotic Americans is not a strategy.
Cultural genocide dun been peaked.
Merry Christmas all.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O5YSzRXWnlo
“All in the Family” was just the start of “whites are racists.”
Funny how the things you took for granted back then are suddenly things from another world.
Back then I thought Gloria was the sexy one, today I realize I was wrong; Edith is hot, baby!
Who knew?
The little drummer boy is also being revised, starring Mike Pence in Don’t Come, They Told Me.
For LLPOH ….
“Jingle Bells” isn’t specifically about Christmas—it’s really just about riding through the snow on a wintry day. But in Australia, Christmas occurs during the continent’s summer season. So the Australian duo Bucko & Champs (Colin Buchanan and Greg Champion) recorded a new version with Australian lyrics in 1993 called “Aussie Jingle Bells.” It became so popular down under that they re-released it on their Christmas album Aussie Christmas with Bucko & Champs in 1996.”
Found this below on the net. I’ll bet RiNS or El Coyote can come up with a good Rudolf The Racist parody!!
——-
You know Dasher’s a Hasher
And Prancer should smoke less
Comet’s all lit up on Alice B. Toklas
But do you recall
The most stoned-out reindeer of all?
Rudolph, the red-nosed reindeer
Had an alcoholic’s nose
And if you ever saw it,
You would think he, cocaine, blows
Father and Mother Reindeer
Cared and tried to intervene
Wanted to see poor Rudolph
Sober, substance-free, and clean
Then one fogged-out Christmas eve
Santa came to say,
“Rudolph, one more DUI:
“We’ll be eating reindeer pie”
Santa had made his pain clear
On him, his invective, poured
Fin’lly, he got poor Rudolf
Into Clinic: Betty Ford!
[interlude]
Seven weeks in rehab scene
Lots of glam was seen:
Linsdsey Lohan; Britney Spears
Drugged-out, dopey “pop” reign dears!
Then all the other reindeer
Welcomed his return with glee
No more: red-nosed, was Rudolph
Done with drug dependency!
“Lobster Party”
I went to a lobster party
To have a beer with my old friends
A chance to share new memories
And hoist a brew again
When I got to the lobster party
They all knew my name
No one recognized me
They wondered why I came
The shit’s all right now
I learned my lessons well
You see, ya can’t troll everyone
So ya got to troll yourself
Monkeys came from miles around
Everyone was there
YoBo brought his clan robe
There was tension in the air
‘nkit’ in the corner
Much to my surprise
Mr Memes hid in Anglin’s shoes
Wearing his disguise
The shit’s all right now
I learned my lessons well
You see, ya can’t troll everyone
So ya got to troll yourself
Mag-in-double D’s (with her red rope)
Mag-in-D-D-D’s
Read them all the old jibes
Thought that’s why they came
No one heard the shitstorm
It didn’t sound the same
I said hello “Mary Christine”
You’re a sight to see
When I read a psalm about a Black Prez
It was time to leave
The shit’s all right now
I learned my lessons well
You see, ya can’t troll everyone
So ya got to troll yourself
Mag-in-double D’s (with her red rope)
Mag-in-D-D-D’s
Someone started up a therapy group
And out stepped Average Wee Brain
Thumping a bible
And warning of hell
You should have seen the dude
If your gonna go to platform parties
As if you’d give a fuck
But if mammaries was why you came
You’ll be impressed with Stuck
The shit’s all right now
I learned my lessons well
You see, ya can’t troll everyone
So ya got to troll yourself
Mag-in-double D’s (with her red rope)
Mag-in-D-D-D’s
The shit’s all right now
I learned my lessons well
You see, ya can’t troll everyone
So ya got to troll yourself
El Coyote
You know what’s fucked up about voting here? You say just one funny/sarcastic thing that maybe offends some assflake klown, and they’ll vote down like there’s no tomorrow.
But, post something genuinely creative (as above) and with ties to people on TBP ….. and nobody really gives a flying fuck … not even enough to vote down”
I did a parody to Abbas SOS … except Save Our Sun … that wasn’t as good as yours above, but still good, imho. RiNS did one. Hardly a fuck given.
So, FUCK THAT SHIT. We should be done with them forever. I won’t ever suggest again that you or RiNS do another one. These wet blankets aren’t worthy.
Here’s the thing: iforget writes for himself. I write for you and me. I know you will let me know if it’s any good, I don’t give a rat’s ass for anybody else’s opinion. I learned long ago, after much self-loathing, that the only way to get thumbs up is to say what the fools like to hear. I also know the best way to get lots of thumbs down is to write racist, pro immigration shit.
Your writing is going to outlast these morans. In a few years, folks will recall with loving laughter all the humorous pieces you submitted. They will lament the bad times you went through and cheer at your many victories. They will not give two shits for the Calibans who down-voted you.
I applaud your versatility as a writer. Your huge creative mental balls are properly tucked away in your mental nutsack. These limp dicks can’t firm up their wrist to do more than downvote you, if that.
They shall never darken the hallowed halls of Rob’s lobster (love that song) abode in Skotia. To intellect! And to hell with down-voters! More likely they will have to settle for a gay party at Hollywood’s.
Nahhh, don’t shitcan the parodies…I think they’re hilarious. I might even give you a couple verses of mine sung to the tune of American Pie.
But first, Stuck, I relate to your angst re: thumbsies. I’ll put up words of thoughts that I think are worthy, and when reviewing later, and seeing no reaction or down votes, it sometimes feels like a shot to the ego, but I like El’s advice about ’em. Fuck it. Only after some self loathing, he said he lost his give a shit about ’em. But, I’m still trying to work my way in to the pack, and you two, Maggie and RiNS + a few others have at least given feedback on a pretty consistent basis. Appreciated, soooo, I guess my give a shit is still present and accounted for.
Workin’ on it…Ahem.
A long, long time ago.
I can still remember how them blue jeans used to make me smile.
And I knew if I had my chance,
That I could get inside those pants, and
Maybe she’d stay horny for awhile.
But tuna fish it made me shiver.
I caught that smell and I began to quiver.
So I took handjobs on the doorstep.
I couldn’t take that Big Step.
I can’t remember if I cried when I
felt that vapor hit my eyes.
But I got nauseous all inside the day
I almost died.
So bye, bye Miss American Pie.
Drove my Chevy to the drive in just to tickle your thigh.
Them odors down low are makin’ me cry, singin’
This’ll be the day that I die; this’ll be the day that die….
-Did you write The Joy of Sex, or do you enjoy and eat Tex-Mex?
…if Cosmopolitan tells you so?
Ahh, do you believe in a fresh hygiene?
Can Summer’s Eve kill a smell so mean?
And, can you teach me how to bang real slowwww?
Well I know that you’re in love with him, cuz I saw you screwin’ in the gym.
He made you crack a smile, and then he did you doggie style.
I was a lonely teen age ignorant fuck.
With a 2 inch prong no girlie would suck.
But I knew I was outta luck the day I almost died…….refrain….
Are you gunning for an invite from RiNS? If he reads the above, your in. Nice thing to read first thing in the AM, thank you.
EC
RiNSy was an early bud to me when I was a brand newbie and was struggling with posting vids to TBP. I have to do a search for ‘Robs Lobster’ when time allows, unless you have a quick link to it…I’m intrigued. And, it seems Maggie is rather busy with the holiday plans, as I’ve not seen her posting lately. My version of American Pie might ruffle some feathers on the females in the audience, but, nothing’s taboo here, from what I’ve seen. I’d say: ‘just roll with it, Bebe’s’
On that note, check out this video, which I thought was pretty funny. Watch the reactions from the other train ‘passengers’…
Oh, and have a good Christmas, hombre.
Ohmigawd. I’m glad I scrolled through a few pages to find this gem.
I’m talking about your American Pie parody. Funny!!
Folks, if ya missed it, ya gotta go to the Rudolph thread to read it. It’s about a stinky hoo hoo. You’ll love it.
Stuck, you are on the Rudolf thread.
And to think it was Maggie that encouraged me to do song parodies. You guys are far better. Thus proving old Pangloss’ line that “The pioneer gets an arrow in the back and [then] the settlers move in.
EC
I don’t allow myself to be cornered, or corn-holed for that matter..But I did sew some new patches on my robe…Patches, I’m depending on you son…
Congrats, grand dragon!
Thanks, Coyote…but I’m still a few patches short.. No one said it would be easy…
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Revolutionaries end up as tyrants. He brought death and destruction upon his own people. But there’s no stopping a crowd gone mad.
nkit, that is one ugly chick. Are you gay? Don’t answer that. At least I didn’t exclude you from the lobster-fest.
Axel is a chick? God, I’m worried about you… On the other hand, I’m proud to be enshrined in the Lobster-fest. Do I get another badge for my robe for that? TIA please send it to : nkit’s White Robes…1488 Burning Cross Rd., Klansville, Florida 01861
I gave you another shout out in the Panama article. You and YoBo are in my head.
Here’s a dedication for La Maggie: