Clearly you paid someone to take this picture of you. Nobody sporting a shirt like that and Mr. Socko on their hand has any friends.
That’s like an adorable veil for your booty. Congrats to whomever is marrying your ass.
As you get older & stop doing Easter Egg Hunts, the thing I look forward to is creepy Easter Bunny costumes!
It is my sincere desire to provide readers of this site with the best unbiased information available, and a forum where it can be discussed openly, as our Founders intended. But it is not easy nor inexpensive to do so, especially when those who wish to prevent us from making the truth known, attack us without mercy on all fronts on a daily basis. So each time you visit the site, I would ask that you consider the value that you receive and have received from The Burning Platform and the community of which you are a vital part. I can't do it all alone, and I need your help and support to keep it alive. Please consider contributing an amount commensurate to the value that you receive from this site and community, or even by becoming a sustaining supporter through periodic contributions. [Burning Platform LLC - PO Box 1520 Kulpsville, PA 19443] or Paypal
-----------------------------------------------------
To donate via Stripe, click here.
-----------------------------------------------------
Use promo code ILMF2, and save up to 66% on all MyPillow purchases. (The Burning Platform benefits when you use this promo code.)
Looks like we got Ishmael from the movie Kingpin here. At least he was Amish and didn’t know any better. Not sure what your excuse could be.
I like this guy. He looks like a child drawing of an old country man come to life. Chawing on an unlit cigar, prison style Mom & Dad tattooo, no sleeves, camo hat, looks old and tired but could lift a John Deere tractor off a baby goat if push came to shove. You and I are alright brother.
What really amazes me is you know it definitely takes a lot of time and effort every morning to make your hair look that bad. Like you go out of your way to landscape it into a tall pile of garbage.
If everyone could please take their seats…wait. No! I meant sit in them, not actually take them. They have not been paid for, you will get stopped at the door.
idn’t know there was an dine-in and drive-thru option all in one stop!
Kind of funny that your Walmart tattoo would likely prevent you from getting a job at Walmart.
*Cue Alanis Morissette ironic music.
You better hope nobody mistakes that slot for the Coinstar machine!
She’s either a great landscaper or great prostitute…either way you’re hired.
See more freaks at People of Wal-Mart
“Clothesline” that freak on the cart. Actually, there are a few I’ve seen I’d like to do that to.
Only in “Murkaa”! The moozies out-done NON-violently!
JOTD…a Saturday two-fer…
I was on my way back from a business trip in the Far East.
Going thru LAX, and had a little time to kill.
I hit the Currency Exchange depot, and am standing in line behind this shorter Chinese guy.
He gets to the teller, and says:
“Last mumf, I eschange one hunnert dolluh and get 2000 Yuan. Today, I give same hunnert dolluh, and only get 1500 Yuan. How come?
The teller shrugs his shoulders & says: “Hey…’fluctuations’
Chink says: “Oh yeah? Well, den, Fluck You White Guys, Too!” and storms off.
Half hour later, I have some time before I board the red eye back home, so I’m in the airport lounge wetting my whistle.
Same little Chinaman walks up, and standing next to me, starts drinkin a beer.
I look at him and say: “Hey. Do you know any of that martial arts shit, like Tae Kwon Do, Karate, or Jiu Jitsu?
He get’s all huffy and say: “No! An furdermaw, why you ask me dat? Cuz I Chinese?”
I said, “No, it’s because you’re drinking MY beer, you little prick.”