Over the weekend London mayor Sadiq Khan announced a strict crackdown, banning all knife possession. Yesterday the London police bragged about confiscating tools like pliers and scissors in their knife control efforts to keep the streets safe. If you’re like me, you find this all to completely hilarious, but it’s nothing compared to what came next. A British police agency has released a series of anti-knife public service announcements that make those “this is you brain on drugs” commercials seem semi-serious.
The following are real tweets from the Office of the South Yorkshire Police and Crime Commissioner and not something from a parody account or a satire site:
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Find positive activities to channel your energy and help you avoid dangerous situations. This will also help you meet others living knife free. #knifefree pic.twitter.com/0QHUjVlRqD
— Office of SYPCC (@SYPCC) April 4, 2018
Living knife free? This is like some kind of crazy abstinence propaganda, but instead of sex they are talking about stabbing. Too bad they didn’t include a list of activities people can do instead of stabbing. Like maybe beating people to death or shooting them.
If you find yourself in a confrontation, you have a choice – pulling a knife can escalate the situation and put you in serious danger. #knifefree pic.twitter.com/Tu5JTpmywT
— Office of SYPCC (@SYPCC) April 5, 2018
But what if you are being attacked by someone with a knife? I guess it’s better to just take the stabbing than to escalate things to where you might actually defend your life. It’s a small price to pay to live that healthy knife-free lifestyle.
Going knife free can be a brave and difficult choice – but your life will be better for it. pic.twitter.com/bbT9YNTMus
— Office of SYPCC (@SYPCC) April 6, 2018
Unless you are stabbed to death by someone else, in which case your life will be much much worse.
Remember, it’s never too late to change your life. You are full of potential, and there are always options open to you – even if they aren’t clear in the moment. #knifefree pic.twitter.com/2m3Lh0KDbG
— Office of SYPCC (@SYPCC) April 7, 2018
What, they could only afford 3 models to pose for these things?
99% of young people aged 10–29 don’t carry a knife. #knifefree – https://t.co/OxOhtGw4i6 pic.twitter.com/KiusurLaRt
— Office of SYPCC (@SYPCC) April 8, 2018
See, everyone’s doing it, so you should too.
People who carry a weapon are more likely to be hospitalised with an injury caused by violence. #knifefree – https://t.co/OxOhtGw4i6 pic.twitter.com/np1OJN9RQc
— Office of SYPCC (@SYPCC) April 9, 2018
People who don’t carry a weapon are more likely to be victimized by someone who does. Facts are fun.
There is no ‘safe place’ to stab someone – any stab can be fatal – and the consequences will be just as severe. #knifefree pic.twitter.com/yAD6HlBGNC
— Office of SYPCC (@SYPCC) April 10, 2018
That’s the weirdest one. Is there a common believe among young people in the UK that stabbing people is generally safe? Also, I call BS, there’s plenty of safe places to stab people: the earlobe, the pinky toe, anywhere there isn’t a major artery or vital organ, etc…
You thought anti-smoking or drug commercials in the US were stupid? This is literally old people telling youngsters that stabbing people isn’t as cool as they thought. I suspect that this will do nothing but make kids want to try stabbing another person just to see what it’s like.
Britain’s next brilliant move:
To help save the economy, the Government will announce
next month that the Immigration Department will start
deporting senior citizens (instead of illegals) in order to lower pensions and health care costs (flu jabs, walkers,
wheelchairs, surgery, free prescriptions, bus passes, etc.).
The Government has established that older people are easier to catch and, in most cases, will not remember
how to get back home.
I started to cry when I thought of you; maybe I’d never see you again.
Then it dawned on me…
I’ll see you on the bus!
Those are some cutting-edge tweets.
The insanity is truly getting deep.
People who want to harm others will use whatever tools they have available. If they have a gun, they will shoot. If they have a knife, they will stab. If they have a vehicle, they will drive up on the sidewalk and run people over.
If you ban all these items, bad people will just fine other tools to use. How about a razor for a shaver, or a wire to wrap around someone’s neck, or a screwdriver in the guts, or rock over the head. Will Britain ban all these dangerous items?
Ban all guns, sharp pointy things, and all transportation other than roller skates.
That should solve the problem of people being lured into violent actions by the objects in the environment around them.
Did you not see what Rollergirl did to the guy in Boggie Nights?!?!
Bricks. They’re clearly a danger to society. Time to require everyone to move back into mud huts (stick huts are too dangerous – – you could put an eye out!).
Honest I didn’t mean to stab Muhammad – I was cleaning my knife and it went off!
How about baseball bats? Stab someone in the throat with a ‘stick pen’.
Really sad what people will put up with.
Next we ban eggs,apples,rocks. They can be trown, you see.
Sicko libs.
I am now certain that the universe is actually a simulation as some think due to the fact that this kind of mass insanity just does not occur in the reality I inhabit. I have obviously been moved to a different reality.
WTF kind of place are you people running here and how can I get back to my own dimension, please?!?!
Random, your explanation is the only one that makes sense of all this insanity. Some higher-level or future being are just toying with us. Not much else can explain the level of insanity in Britain, college campuses, and DC. Well, maybe not DC, those people aren’t insane, they are just greedy SOBs who would sell their mother for a buck.
We haven’t even touched upon the various chemical ways to do away with someone, some of which are quite insidious:
suffocation by argon atmosphere
Poisoning by salt water (drowning)
Death by gravity (cliff falls)
This is beyond ridiculous – is Britain going to try and ban reality next?
Britain – that scepter’d isle where reality ne’er comes
HANDS!!
Hands? Yes, you are right! Maybe someone will put together some ads of people who have no hands. They can hold up their stubs and the copy will say something like, “There is no safe way to beat someone to death” or “Hands off since 21-08-16!”
Knife free? How do they eat their steak? Just stab the 16 oz slab of beef with your fork and gnaw around the edges?
More seriously, and terrifying, is the historical irony. Obviously, Saddiq Khan is not an Anglo-Saxon. Saxon. The British people, at least the part that isn’t Celtic or Norse. Why were they called Saxons? Because they always, always, carried their Seax. To the point where their culture was known as Saxons, ones who always carried a seax. No adult Saxon (man or woman) would be outside their house without their seax. It would be the cultural equivalent of walking around in public buck naked. It might occasionally, in appropriate circumstances, be cute in an 18 month old playing around, but always completely horrifying to any adult in public. If you were in public, you had your Seax. Children didn’t have a seax. Adults did. To be in public without your seax was to publicly declare yourself unworthy of the responsibilities of adulthood. Adult Saxons were so known for always carrying a seax, that aspect of their culture literally became their name.
It also had tremendous advantages in the world of 1st gen/4th gen warfare to always have your seax. It led to the Saxons succeeding and expanding, being the people who survived and expanded, and took the future from those less prepared.
For those who haven’t figured it out yet:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Seax
A seax is somewhere between a long knife and a short sword. An all around utility tool, not exclusively for fighting, but if a Saxon peasant out plowing his field was caught out by raiders from the next tribe over, he at least had his seax. If a foreign rapist tried to ambushed a saxon wife tending chickens in her yard, their is a good chance he got gutted by her seax.
So the Saxons, a people literally named for always carrying a knife, are banned from carrying knives in their own capital, by a non-saxon.
Where are the howls of cultural sensitivity when we need them? It seems clear to me, they need to take knives away from the non-saxons, and allow Anglo-Saxons their cultural identity of carrying knives.
PS the Seax was not a uniquely Saxon tool. The celts used them, the norse/vikings had them, other Germans like the Franks had and used seaxes. The Seax was a common tool among most NW european cultures. What was unique about the Saxons was not they had a Seax, it was that they always, always, had them with them.
Rather Not, jab your steak with a fork? You are incentivizing people to use a fork for stabbing instead of a knife! How horrible! 😉
I’d like to see them ban old age. That will kill everyone, eventually. That is, those who survive all the laughing at the Brits, car accidents, plane crashes, heart attacks, famine, WAR, disease, natural disasters….
Those Brits have a LOT of banning to do to keep everyone alive. Maybe they will ban life. After all, it’s a 100% certainty no one gets out alive. ;-D
SamFox
Yeah, it seems pretty odd to make knives or guns illegal. Would make more sense to just make murdering people illegal (regardless of tool) with the appropriate exceptions for ‘He needed killin”
Unfortunately, I think they’re going to keep pushing until a really big number of people end up in the exception category.
I have never stabbed someone with a knife. I have however stabbed someone with a fork. Twice.
Two separate occasions? The same or different person?
Today we parked in front of the central park. The wife went shopping while I sat on the tailgate and sharpened a new machete. Nobody even looked at me.
They did look at my 140lb Fila Brasilero in the back seat, a breed which are banned in many countries.
Then I got my shoes shined for 65 cents and smoked a cigarette in public.
I am glad I don’t live in the civilized world.
I am wondering what the Sikhs will do about this. Unless I am mistaken, adult Sikhs have a religious obligation to wear a turban and to carry a knife.
Sikhs are required to be armed and to defend the helpless and innocent. Their religious authorities ruled that having a little scimitar about the size of a tie clip on their turban is OK for western sissy society wear. Cowardly Europeans may object to even that. Here in the US they probably have concealed carry permits and 19 round Glocks.
Look at those goofs. Their sissies are even more ridiculous looking than our sissies! Probably direct descendants of the assholes who carried King Canute’s throne to the sea shore for him to order the tides not to come in. LOL!
What gun and knife free looks like:
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FORK YOU MAYOR KHAN!!!
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By all means, start in Texas, MoMo. And bring that suppository you have in your hand with you.
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“There is no ‘safe place’ to stab someone – any stab can be fatal – and the consequences will be just as severe.”- unless you’re a member of the religion of pieces in which case you can be excused for savage behavior.
Guns…now knives and tomorrow hammers, rocks, baseball bats, screw drivers, pick axes, chain saws, strong hands…and the list is almost endless. The UK should be treated as a large mental case populated by people with deformed minds. They may be beyond the point of no return. I used to wonder what caused the fall of civilizations over recorded history. Well…I don’t wonder about that anymore; it is because people go stark raving mad.
Two Jewish Mohel’s were arrested in London this week….slicing and dicing without a knife permit.
Oh well….no circumcisions will be done in London for a while….Foreskin Rules…LOL
Nkit…that fucker with the knife is a dumb fuck…..I just love it when they bring a knife to a gun fight .