Democrats Threaten To Abandon Final Shred Of Sanity If Kavanaugh Confirmed

Via Babylon Bee

U.S.—Democrats across the nation have threatened that they will abandon their final remaining shred of sanity should the Republican-controlled Senate vote to confirm Brett Kavanaugh to the Supreme Court in the next few weeks.

From Democratic senators to lay voters, liberal-leaning citizens have promised they will begin their wacky antics in earnest should the inevitable confirmation occur.

“I know it seems like we’re already totally nuts,” said Senator Cory Booker. “But believe you me—you ain’t seen nothing yet. We’re talking rending our garments and smashing stuff, constantly comparing ourselves to tragic martyrs on film and television, even punching ourselves in the face. And we’ll do it around the clock.”

“I’m talking full-on insanity, people. I AM SPARTACUS! I AM MASTER CHIEF! I AM WILLIAM WALLAAAAAACE!!!” he added before aides were forced to restrain him. “Tekeli-li! Tekeli-li!”

Run-of-the-mill Democrat voters across the country have joined their nearly unhinged leaders in vowing to destroy their last vestige of reasonable behavior if the judge is confirmed for a SCOTUS seat.

“I’m going to dress up as genitals, go out into the streets, and yell at passersby for no reason at all, every day,” said Santa Clarita progressive Dennis Anderson. “I’m warning you: the last shred of sanity I have will go up in flames should Kavanaugh be confirmed. It’s my scorched earth policy.”

The beginning of Democrats’ final plunge into eternal insanity is scheduled for the moment Kavanaugh is confirmed, when millions of Democrats will gather outside the Capitol building to scream at the sky.

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30 Comments
Work-In-Progress
Work-In-Progress
September 10, 2018 6:12 pm

Are they going to go full Magita?

CarlosDanger(RiH)
CarlosDanger(RiH)
  Work-In-Progress
September 10, 2018 6:22 pm

I want to go full Magita.

KaD
KaD
  Work-In-Progress
September 10, 2018 7:24 pm

Are you sure you don’t mean full Mangina?

e.d. ott
e.d. ott
September 10, 2018 6:28 pm

As a conservative trapped in the Idiot’s Democratic State of PC NJ, take it from me – it can be fairly easy to spot an angry lunatic. Some days all it takes is less than ten minutes outside your front door at 6AM.
If you do manage to get within a certain distance, look at the eyes. It’s a great tell.

Old Krank
Old Krank
  e.d. ott
September 10, 2018 10:57 pm

Reality is doing a great job of keeping up with (and, in some cases, ahead of) satire. Stories from The Onion now seem tame compared to reality; I’m sure Babylon Bee is traveling the same road, and will be overtaken by reality in 3… 2… 1…

KeyserSusie
KeyserSusie
September 10, 2018 6:29 pm

This seems as good a place as any to post this recent rant by Candace Owens. She gives them dems hell. Click the ‘play’ arrow.

https://www.pscp.tv/w/1MYxNqdbzOLJw

Fleabaggs
Fleabaggs
September 10, 2018 6:47 pm

Translated that means punch whitey in the face around the clock.

James
James
  Fleabaggs
September 10, 2018 6:54 pm

I while not a big fan guess I wanted Kavanaugh confirmed,am now his biggest fan and want a quick confirmation!Lets get this whole shitshow rolling full tilt and see where we end up,tired of the slow burn but also look to former Yugoslavia as a example of what a quick burn is like, but,if it’s gonna happen,let it happen full blown before midterms!

As for getting wierd in public these clowns have nothing on me,you want public weirdness/insanity,I am your guy!

e.d. ott
e.d. ott
  James
September 10, 2018 7:05 pm

If you don’t recall, the breakup of Yugoslavia required foreign intervention.
I spent some time with the IFOR and SFOR deployments. Being reduced to punching holes in Blue Helmets in my own country isn’t something I pray for. What that means really bothers me.

Please don’t ask for what happened there to happen here. You may be one of the casualties and I doubt you’d be so eager or happy about it beyond a keyboard ….

James
James
  e.d. ott
September 10, 2018 7:22 pm

ED,tis the last thing I want unless we are going to go to a full blown progressive dictatorship or are attacked,used Yugoslavia as a example of why I don’t want that but,if the other side wants full blown violence then lets get it done.I would rather deal with it now and leave a decent country for future generations then be too old to do any good.I have zero doubts of my demise if this takes place,thought about that for many years and am while not suicidal comfortable with my decision.

For whom negged me,well,fuck you,engage instead of negging,you have a plan that tis better if folks get violent on normal citizens,well,bring it up!

e.d. ott
e.d. ott
  James
September 10, 2018 11:10 pm

I did engage you by making a reply and disagreeing.
In the former Yugoslavia, former neighbors shot each other and mined abandoned homes to prevent people from returning back. They tortured one another, set them on fire, and returned them down ziplines from Mt. Trebevic.
This is what happens in an ethnic civil war with no rule of law. I got to see Bosnia and Croatia first-hand after the Dayton Accords. I’d also like to think Americans are better than that, but then again …. maybe not, seeing as a lot of people who call themselves “citizens” can’t define or agree on what an American might be.

James
James
  e.d. ott
September 11, 2018 7:21 am

Ed,many examples of this,was not picking on Yugoslavia just first example that came to mind,has happened in many countries through out history.I also believe it would actually be a lot worse then Yugoslavia due to the push to divide the country by ethnicity/sexuality/monied status/religion ect.,does play into some peoples plans to have this happen but when attacked one will fight back,also believe those that might want this have no idea what they wish for and actually will really have no control over the situation,will be 4th gen for many decades.

As for public insanity would be attending progressive pol rallies ect. buck naked signing “I am a tea cup short &stout” ect.,public insanity is something I have down pat!

While I won’t count on it perhaps it all explodes enough folks get together to create a force of good on a national level like the Cajun army and Cajun navy did during national disasters.I certainly have me tools/chainsaws ect. to help a Yankee army in times of natural disaster,have done so on small scale in past,willing to give it a shot nation wide if needed but if I or those I care for attacked,well,will fight to the death.

gatsby1219
gatsby1219
September 10, 2018 6:57 pm

It may be time to back down the fluoride levels, just sayin.

anarchyst
anarchyst
September 10, 2018 6:58 pm

Reopen the mental institutions. Anyone who claims to be a democRAT should be held for a mental evaluation with mandatory admission to a mental health facility.

dejoh
dejoh
  anarchyst
September 11, 2018 11:39 am

Unfortunately, most of the mental institutions around her are now industrial parks, or demolished.

TampaRed
TampaRed
September 10, 2018 7:22 pm

i saw a rasmussen poll from last week that said a majority of voters believe that the kavanaugh protests are just politics–

e.d. ott
e.d. ott
  TampaRed
September 10, 2018 11:18 pm

The lunatics protesting are bought and paid for with NGO donations. Abnormal behavior can be explained but not when it’s called politics. The mindset and lack of ethics goes beyond normal or the acceptable.

KaD
KaD
September 10, 2018 7:25 pm

They have a shred left? Are you fing kidding me?

steve
steve
September 10, 2018 7:37 pm

Geez, I’m gonna get a few extra micro cards for my camera. It sounds like an opportunity for a photographic extravaganza worth claiming for posterity.

Texas Patriot
Texas Patriot
September 10, 2018 7:38 pm

Hey, Booker, you don’t have to punch yourself in the face. There are plenty of us out here that will do that chore for you.

Doc
Doc
  Texas Patriot
September 10, 2018 8:43 pm

As much as I’d like to help, Sun Tzu said to never interrupt the enemy when he is helping you. So… enjoy the show!

Boat Guy
Boat Guy
  Doc
September 10, 2018 10:38 pm

Precisely Doc !

Iska Waran
Iska Waran
  Texas Patriot
September 10, 2018 10:45 pm

I’ve thought that Kamala Harris has the 2020 democrat nomination in the bag because she can check off the most demographic boxes: Indian-american, African American, woman, skank, unpleasant bitch. Corey Booker has plenty of boxes, however: black, gay, retarded, unpleasant bitch. So it’s a draw. Advantage Harris, though, since I think she could beat Booker at arm-wrestling.

pyrrhus
pyrrhus
  Iska Waran
September 11, 2018 7:15 am

And then there are those orgy videos of Kamala and Willie Brown…

Fleabaggs
Fleabaggs
September 10, 2018 7:50 pm

They might want to reconsider going crazy now. There is a great video up on Breitbart showing a tiny white cheerleader giving a huge black how beat down after the holidays slapped her.

Anonymous
Anonymous
September 10, 2018 8:35 pm

Let them protest all they want- we can look , laugh, and leave. These low IQ morons are our entertainment!

Boat Guy
Boat Guy
September 10, 2018 10:36 pm

If the leftist in our country wish to stir up a feverish protest reaching violent proportions so be it . There is a high probability they will inflict a great deal of self injury during their build up . Stand back not down but wait for that clear and present danger then do what you must for self preservation !
Armed conflict is never a good thing , their is no joy no glory . Do not be fooled by the bravado of many , there will be only a handful of people you can count on under Fire . I pray it will not come to that and I also pray for the wisdom of what to do if it does present itself . I can assure you it will hit fast and regardless of how ready you think you are you will be taken off guard !

Free Speech Forum
Free Speech Forum
September 11, 2018 1:23 am

How can Americans sleep at night while the USA is collapsing?

Soros, Obama, Clinton, and Trump all support endless wars, debt, and tyranny. What’s the difference?

Has Trump opposed trade wars, starting wars with Iran, Mexico, China, Russia, and North Korea, driving up the debt, ending minimum wages, opening concentration camps, banning free speech, religious freedom, freedom from warrantless searches, freedom from torture, security cameras, license plate readers, checkpoints, redlight cameras, speed cameras, FBI facial and voice recognition, curfews, gun bans, NSA wiretapping, the end to the right to silence, searches without warrants, private prisons, mandatory minimums, 3 strikes laws, DNA databases, CISPA, SOPA, IMBRA, private prison quotas, no knock raids, take down notices, no fly lists, terror watch lists, Constitution free zones, stop and frisk, 3 strikes laws, kill switches, National Security Letters, DNA databases, kill lists, FBAR, FATCA, Operation Chokepoint, TSA groping, civil forfeiture, CIA torture, NDAA indefinite detention, secret FISA courts, FEMA camps, laws requiring passports for domestic travel, IRS laws denying passports for tax debts, gun and ammo stockpiles, laws outlawing protesting, police militarization, and Jade Helm?

Has Trump arrested the bankers, decreased taxes, kicked out the illegal aliens, ended the Fed, ended the wars, ended welfare, ended Obamacare, and restored the Bill of Rights?

Trump doesn’t work for you. He works for the elites.

The time for supporting Trump has ended and the time for buying gold, guns, and food has arrived.

Wake up. Think. Spread the word. Dark times are coming.

Boat Guy
Boat Guy
  Free Speech Forum
September 11, 2018 8:21 am

Free Speach Forum , since everything you outlined is actual fact at a greater or lesser degree depending on place and time in our country (or at least what was our country) . I wonder the 2 negatives , what America are they viewing and from what vantage point ?

Fleabaggs
Fleabaggs
  Free Speech Forum
September 11, 2018 11:21 am

Forum..
Falling on deaf ears.