U.S.—With the government shutdown in effect, life has felt incomplete for many Americans. “Everything is just too easy—it’s boring,” said restaurant owner Gloria Morgan, “and I realized it’s because we’re missing an essential challenge in life: soulless bureaucrats posing arbitrary rules on us.”
One of the primary functions of the government is to ignorantly muck around in the business of others, but the shutdown has hampered that. Thus citizens have been forced to try to fill that void themselves. “Today I just suddenly decided large sodas weren’t allowed,” said Morgan. “It was an annoying, pointless obstacle the whole day—it was like the government was still around.”
“I arbitrarily decided I couldn’t use plastic bags in school lunches,” said Arlene Williams, mother of three. “It was really irritating to deal with. It really made me feel like there was still some bureaucrat out there not caring about me.”
Not everyone found it easy to take the government’s place, though. “I tried imposing random rules on myself, but it wasn’t the same,” said business owner Patrick Stanley. “The problem is I understand my business too well, so a lot of the rules actually made sense. I really need someone with no understanding of my company or economics making these rules, or it just doesn’t feel right.
I pulled over and did a roadside strip/ body cavity search on myself. Made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.
That was better than anything in the article.
What, we have to paint you a picture, Iska? Let’s see your papers, paleface.
I am for the first time in my life, ruling myself. I’m not used to being without a ruler.
Enjoy the freedom while you can . If Trump loses the next election those treasonous bastards will be back in full force. Gun control will be coming at us from every angle . More false flags ,more crisis actors on tv and they are always crying calling for gun control. It’s strange that some of the same people show up at these operations. Blacks and most Hispanics will go along with gun control. Trump and our guns is the only thing that stands between us and ” education camps ” . I have made my decision. I hope it doesn’t come down to violence but it probably will.
Two guys taking a piss by the river’s edge.
Dang that water’s cold says one.
And deep too, says the other.
I took 1/3 of my paycheck, bought malt liquor, menthol cigarettes and fast food and gave it to people who hate me.
Nueday…
YOU GAVE CIGARETTES TO POOR PEOPLE??
What a Hateist.
Neuday, that right there should be a viral internet meme!
I reprise from another site:
Every additional day that the farcical, so-called “gov shut-down” continues is another day that more of “We the People” realize just how much LESS “government” is needed to “transact” DIRECTLY 1-2-1! It’s a sad fact that “government” attracts the least reputable, least productive, most incompetent, indolent, parasitical portion of a national populace. Force the sorry slackers to go find REAL PRODUCTIVE “activity” that will contribute to the “Common Benefit”.
Again we have a “satire site” being more honest and accurate about reality than the mainstream media. Great job BEE.
Too bad the Department of Education and the Energy Department didn’t get shut down…..
Without the TSA holding up passengers in airports the time saved alone must be immense considering they are sicking out after missing 90% of test cases for weapons and explosives . Why are we paying them in the first place