Guest Post by Steve Candidus
When you read this, you will probably think it’s The Babylon Bee. It is not. It’s for real.
Last month the mayor of Lamar, South Carolina – one Darnell Byrd McPherson – went out and found her car covered in what she reported to the local police as ‘a mysterious yellow, sticky substance.’ She then claimed her car had been vandalized and it was a racist hate crime against her. She even had a suspect in mind – and named him.
Of course we always get a cover of yellow pine pollen this time of year here in the south, but since the mayor was insistent that she had been attacked, the local police were forced to turn the matter over to the South Carolina Law Enforcement Division (SLED).
A SLED representative stated that after receiving the report, the decision was made against launching a probe.
“We reviewed the incident report but we did not open a formal investigation,” she said.
When she was asked why they didn’t open an investigation she replied, “Because we did not believe a crime occurred.”
Local Democrats will likely insist that the police spend additional taxpayer funds to be on the lookout for any pine trees sprouting MAGA hats…
Have a look at this woman. She looks like she’s taken a lightning bolt up her ass. Either that or she brought the portable TV into the shower to watch Oprah again.
As I write this, my whole driveway and patio furniture out back are all covered in yellow pine pollen. This racist vandal obviously gets around.
There is no mention in any of the articles that I found whether this South Carolina moron is related to the embarrassment of Texas – Sheila Jackson Lee – but it wouldn’t surprise me.
You just can’t fix stupid…
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Dumber than a bowl of oatmeal.
It would be an insult to the rocks, if I said “dumber than a box of rocks” or tools “a bag of hammers”.
There you go insulting nice, sweet nutritious oatmeal. LOL!!!!!
Steel cut, no less. Kiss mah grits, Dutchman.
yipper,
i bet both you & dutch would have hit that in your younger days–
tell the truth,what’s a secret among buddies?
I was a nerd. I’d have hit on any girl if she would even look my way, alas!
Dutchman, otoh, was a preppy stud. Life ain’t fair.
Looks like the ‘hood’s edition of Babs Bush.
Darnell.
Damn. I thought that was a man’s handle.
Zhe ain’t a tranny, is?
Maybe a transplant from out of town, unaware of pine pollen?
Colorful tarp, it’s wearin’ ‘neath that Don King natural.
All da colors that say Afro, and proudly acknowlegin’ Black Histree Mumf.
Yeah, call her stupid, but what do you say about a non-black country that allows ni66ers to hold positions of authority.
Ni66ers – I like it!
Add another 6 for balance.
“The ONLY fix for stupid is death.” Modified from Ron White.
Lee State Park Rd. runs through Lamar, SC.
Just north of Lynch burg.
BTW, nice Dashiki
(A dashiki is a colorful garment that covers the top half of the body. … The dashiki was worn as a way to protest society’ s disrespect for African Americans.) Some spell it ‘ni66ers’.
Try to imagine waking up next to that!
She would scare little kids.
No. Not since I quit black-out drinking.
Lamar is a 20 minute drive from the Scape Ore Swamp, Home of The Lizard Man. Perhaps he’ll show up wearing a MAGA hat.
Lamont…I’ve hunted that area…always wanted a shot at that slithering bastard .
Saw him the other day eating Q at Watford’s in Bishopville. He’s supposed to be here in Charleston Saturday doing a promo in the Belmond lobby for Spoleto. Sadly, he couldn’t make it to SEWE this year.
Watford’s I’ve heard is good…need to give a try one day . He was at SEWE…he was disguised as a statue .
I used to like Spaghetto…not anymore. Used to make good coin playing music to the Touron’s during the Spaghetto when I was in college .
“Spaghetto” is horrible this year. We are only doing the auction (last month), the opening night party & closing fireworks. The “acts” are a mismash of PC crap – every one. Oh, forgot that sweetie pie does both garden tours…BTW, SEWE gives one hope for the country – it was 1960s America at Brittlebank Park. Waterv dog jumping, camel rides, crazy hunting ATVs, literally 1,000 Boykins & border collie geese/sheep herding
I’m surprised. Because with that hair, I figured she had a motorcycle.
When you’re a racist all you see is racism
That doesn’t make sense.
The female version of Chauncy Gardener. How do these morons achieve their political status? Can it be that those who elect morons are also morons?
Unfortunately she had to repeatedly “Ax” the police to help her. She’s working on a gooberment project currently…keeping Guam from tipping over .
What happened to Rhodesia should have been a warning.
Today’s black ruled Zimbabwe was once white ruled yesteryear’s Rhodesia.
” … ‘a mysterious yellow, sticky substance.’ ”
Dear South Carolina Police,
I dindu it!! I was in New Jersey the whole time.
Sincerely,
Herr Stuchenwanker
If your spunk is yellow, you may want to hit the clinic real quick.