Watch Shaq try & fail to ride a mechanical bull pic.twitter.com/cwRwWL42c9
— CJ Fogler #BlackLivesMatter (@cjzero) April 8, 2016
The Akron, Ohio Police Department is in a desperate search to find this car-ty pooper. Apparently he’s left his gifts inside or on top of 19 different vehicles, occasionally even opening unlocked vehicles in order to do so.
Truly, we live in benighted times.
See more at the Fail Blog
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It is my sincere desire to provide readers of this site with the best unbiased information available, and a forum where it can be discussed openly, as our Founders intended. But it is not easy nor inexpensive to do so, especially when those who wish to prevent us from making the truth known, attack us without mercy on all fronts on a daily basis. So each time you visit the site, I would ask that you consider the value that you receive and have received from The Burning Platform and the community of which you are a vital part. I can't do it all alone, and I need your help and support to keep it alive. Please consider contributing an amount commensurate to the value that you receive from this site and community, or even by becoming a sustaining supporter through periodic contributions. [Burning Platform LLC - PO Box 1520 Kulpsville, PA 19443] or Paypal
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To donate via Stripe, click here.
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Use promo code ILMF2, and save up to 66% on all MyPillow purchases. (The Burning Platform benefits when you use this promo code.)
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That sum bitch got better memory than me
The pie crust paper clip straightener, while impressive, never managed to catch on.
Gravy so good, you will go head over heels for it.
What Huskies have to do in the south in summer.
I saw a great “How its made” episode on how they make the dies for massive industrial pasta cutters (like 100+ noodles at a time). Amazing.
That black pussy comes with a lot of baggage.
Dog says, “This cat you can keep.”
Trump meats the media.
Cats blowing dogs. The internet has everything!
Time to take Butch off the leash and let evolution runs its course.
Dog is made of catnip.
If this gets out they will take my dog license.
His pot high wore off instantly.
Justin Trudeau was envious of Trump’s Marine One, and petitioned Quebec for something similar.
The inaugural run hit a snag, and the motion was scrapped.
Brilliant!
The one-step course; “Pilot to Squadron Commander”.
“Homey don’t play that.”
“Bitch, I was in the bathroom when you didn’t wash your hands!”
Cats lick their butt, scratch around in a litter then up on counters. YUCK!!!
Yes, dog’s are just as disgusting, but at least they stay off your counters.
DILLIGAF cat.
I like birds with a sense of irony.
Irony requires him to know how to read.
The bird swallowed a live fish whole, does anyone here wonder what that must feel like?
Not since the goldfish swallowing thing back in college…
i was about to say the same thing,who could swallow the most goldfish back in high school–we had a guy who swallowed over 30–
For the bird or for the fish?
either…although the fish won’t count after awhile, he’ll be bird poop….
America chose its national symbol wisely.
Natures version of aerial refueling.
Food chain, link #134.
Kenya’s national sport: launch the honky.
A man’s boat capsizes in the middle of the ocean. He washes up on a deserted island with nothing but the clothes on his back. He builds a small shelter and finds food and water, but he misses civilization more with each passing day.
While walking on the beach one day, he sees a beautiful woman emerge from the ocean wearing a scuba tank and a wetsuit. She says, “You look like you could use a smoke.” She unzips a pocket on one arm of her wetsuit, pulls a Cuban cigar from inside, and hands it to the man. The man smokes slowly, and tells her that it is the finest cigar that he has ever smoked.
“How about a drink?” the woman asks. She unzips another pocket, reaches in, and pulls out a small flask. “It’s a 17-year-old, single malt scotch, aged in oak,” the woman tells him. The man is almost beside himself with joy as he sips the drink.
The woman then begins unzipping the front of her wetsuit. “Want to play around?” she asks.
“Hell yes!” the man says. “You have a set of golf clubs in there too?”
Even a wall gets more action than I do.
Forget the wall, I wanna be the floor.
i would walk barefooted all winter just to step where she peed.
Now follow my eyes closely.
My eyes are doing something quite similar.
How to get a guy to look at your eyes when you are talking to him.
Texting no doubt.
Musk unveiling the their police cruiser.
I wish I could give more than 1 thumbs up.
Great foto.
You should see the video from later.
That Bob P and his ever present camera phone.
That’s definitely not the look I get from women when I video them topless.
This may strike you as weird, ma’am, but may I lick your fingers?
Looking for volunteers to help scratch that itch?
Scratch and sniff. You scratch, me sniff.
Hasn’t she ever heard the saying, “Never have paper walls if there are dinosaurs wandering around?”
Next week’s steaks were particularly delicious.
Nincowpoop.
cowed boy
It’s a dick, but it’s chocolate. I’m seriously ambivalent.
Just bite the head off….
Santa’s gift to Mrs. Clause pre-cunnalingus.
Classic scene.
After Sharon aired out her monkey in front of the investigators, Seinfeld’s Neuman was flustered, knowing that’s the closest he’d ever get to such a prize.
She was awesome in Commando…..oh, wait, that was some other movie.
Premature e-gif-ulation.
It smells like fish in here.
The local pervert.
She’s got the key to my heart, or at least my safety deposit box.
She doesn’t look happy with you, Yancey.
She told me last night the deposit box was empty.
I’ll be happy to deposit in her box.
I did leave toilet seat up.
There’s a mole on cheek #4 that needs closer inspection.
I’ll do it!
Oh, it looks painful…I’ll kiss it, make it well.
Just so hard to choose which color I like best.
I’d have left it at just so hard.
3 of them? Now that is something I can get in to…or all three.
A very “cheeky” pic.
In Yancey’s basement . . .
Damnit, I just went down there, and it is just a bunch of old porn magazines.
stuck shut. Auuuugh!!!
If I ever get tortured, I choose her.
Bob P’s date.
dressed to kill
The Two Stooges.
The original parkour artists.
It is.
Just Hillary looking through the Steele Dossier.
Expose yourself to nature.
This is good naked. Better naked is if she would turn around.
Natures raw beauty.
No tan lines.
That was taken at my camp this summer. NOT!
The proverbial babe in the woods.
GET OFF!!! You’re standing on my wood!
Hard wood in the bush?
Just what my bed is missing.
Reverse camel toe?
Guess I will bury my nuts somewhere else.
It is only a rumor I started that Hugh Hefner was BobP’s uncle.
I wish.
That’s ok…the taxpayers can just pay for another one.
Impeachment jet.
Never before seen footage of John McCain’s first carrier landing.
One sunny day in January, 2017, an old man approaches the White House from across Pennsylvania Avenue where he’d been sitting on a park bench. He speaks to the U.S. Marine standing guard and says, “I would like to go in and meet with President Obama.” The Marine looks at the man and says, “Sir, Mr. Obama is no longer President and no longer resides here. ”The old man says, “Okay,” and walks away.
The following day the same man approaches the White House and says to the same Marine, “I would like to go in and meet with President Obama.” The Marine again tells the man, “Sir, as I said yesterday, Mr. Obama is no longer President and no longer resides here.” The man thanks him and again just walks away.
The third day the same man approaches the White House and speaks to the very same U.S. Marine, saying, “I would like to go in and meet with President Obama.” The Marine, understandably agitated at this point, looks at the man and says, “Sir, this is the third day in a row you have been here asking to speak to Mr. Obama. I’ve told you already that Mr. Obama is no longer the President and no longer resides here. Don’t you understand?”
The old man looks at the Marine and says,“Oh, I understand. I just love hearing it.” The Marine snaps to attention, salutes, and says, “See you tomorrow, Sir!”
Ha!
Semper Fi
Our hero John McCain was buried Facedown and BUTT up just in case his good friends Missy Lindsey Graham and Hussein Obama wants to stop by for a Cold One.
From helicopter pilot to jet fighter pilot, that field commander has got to go.
Oh, and a lottery ticket please.
Damn, we think alike.
Running off to buy a lottery ticket.
Those express lines can be dangerous.
Dog’s wondering why he has to eat crappy “Old Roy” kibble from Walmart while this guy wastes his money on this.
Don’t it make your brown eye, blue.
Trump .45
Good catch
Start a conversation or end an argument. whatever.
Hey, let’s play musical chairs!
Never thought chair panties could be so sexy.
I know Bob P can be a bit of an ass, but suicide isn’t the answer!
It was a bit of a comedown when she close the cliff over me.
Another great reason to visit the great Cliffs of Moher.