Watch Shaq try & fail to ride a mechanical bull pic.twitter.com/cwRwWL42c9
— CJ Fogler #BlackLivesMatter (@cjzero) April 8, 2016
The Akron, Ohio Police Department is in a desperate search to find this car-ty pooper. Apparently he’s left his gifts inside or on top of 19 different vehicles, occasionally even opening unlocked vehicles in order to do so.
Truly, we live in benighted times.
See more at the Fail Blog
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It is my sincere desire to provide readers of this site with the best unbiased information available, and a forum where it can be discussed openly, as our Founders intended. But it is not easy nor inexpensive to do so, especially when those who wish to prevent us from making the truth known, attack us without mercy on all fronts on a daily basis. So each time you visit the site, I would ask that you consider the value that you receive and have received from The Burning Platform and the community of which you are a vital part. I can't do it all alone, and I need your help and support to keep it alive. Please consider contributing an amount commensurate to the value that you receive from this site and community, or even by becoming a sustaining supporter through periodic contributions. [Burning Platform LLC - PO Box 1520 Kulpsville, PA 19443] or Paypal
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To donate via Stripe, click here.
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My kind of dungeon master.
“Be vewy, vewy quiet- I’m hunting Viriginia legislators.”
The CIA has three candidates, two men and the woman above, for one assassin position.
On the final day of testing, the CIA proctor leads the first male candidate to a large steel door and hands him a gun.
“We must know that you will follow our instructions, regardless of the circumstances,” he explains. “Inside this room, you will find your wife sitting in a chair. Take this gun and kill her.”
The man is horrified, “You can’t be serious! I could never shoot my wife!”
“Well,” says the proctor, “you’re definitely not the right man for this job then.”
The CIA proctor leads the second male candidate to another large steel door and hands him a gun.
“We must know that you will follow instructions, no matter what the circumstances,” the proctor explains.
“Inside this room, you will find your wife sitting in a chair. Take this gun and kill her.”
The second man steadies himself, takes the gun and enters the room. After three quiet minutes, the man exits the room with tears in his eyes.
“I wanted to do it I just couldn’t pull the trigger and shoot my wife. I guess I’m not the right man for the job.”
Finally, the CIA proctor leads the female candidate to yet another large steel door and hands her a gun.
“We must be sure that you will follow instructions, no matter what the circumstances. Inside this room, you will find your husband sitting in a chair. Take this gun and kill him.”
The woman takes the gun, enters the room, and before the door even closes completely behind her, she’s fired off six shots. Then all hell breaks loose behind the door cursing, screaming, crashing. Suddenly, all goes quiet.
The door opens slowly, the woman exits, and wiping the sweat from her brow, and says, “Did you guys know the gun was loaded with blanks? I had to beat the son of a bitch to death with the chair!”
Just think of how fucked up 2020 will be.
Naw, Trump will be re-elected and all their heads will explode.
What is the definition of TREASON again??
It’s always about the shekels, isn’t it.
gotta love the media
If she gets 1/1024 of the votes she’ll claim she won.
What’s the meaning of the phrase ‘Many a true word is spoken in jest’?
A literal meaning; that the truth is often found in comic utterances.
What’s the origin of the phrase ‘Many a true word is spoken in jest’?
The first author to express this thought in English was probably Geoffrey Chaucer. He included it in The Cook’s Tale, 1390:
“But yet I pray thee be not wroth for game; [don’t be angry with my jesting]
A man may say full sooth [the truth] in game and play”…and Friday Fail.
RIP McCain looks spot on.
Isaiah 40:1-4
Isaiah 40:5
May the Lord’s blessings comfort all of you throughout this Christmas season.
Bravo, friend. You put in a lot of work, with great content again today.
If’n I was in your neck of the woods, I’d buy you an ice cold beer.
Or, any other libation in a glass vessel, so we could clink to common ground.
~Cheers.
POP!! Clink!!!! Cheers!!!Happy Holidays!
Why is the beer-cyclist a fail? Did he lose some?
After returning from his honeymoon in Florida with his new bride, Virginia, Luigi stopped in his New Jersey neighborhood barbershop to say hello to his friends.
Giovanni said, “Hey, Luigi. How was a da treep?”
Luigi said, “Ever’thing was a perfect except for da train a ride down.”
“What’a you mean, Luigi?” asked Giovanni.
“Well, we boarda da train at Grand Centrala Station. My beautifula Virginia had packed a biga basket a food with vino and cigars for a me, and a we were looking a ‘forward to da trip. All was OK until we gotta hungry and opened up a da luncha basket.
“The conductor came by, wagged his a finger at us and a say, ‘No eat in dese’a car. Must’a use’a dining car.”
“So, me and my beautiful’a Virginia, we go to dining car, eat a big’a lunch and begin to open’a bottle of vino. Conductor come again, wag his’a finger and say, ‘No drink’a in dese’a car. Must’a use’a club’a car.'”
“So we go to club’a car. While’a drinking vino, I start to light’a my big’a cigar. The conductor, he wag’a his finger again and say, ‘No smoke’a in dese’a car. Must’a go to smoker car.'”
“We go to smoker car and I smoke’a my cigar. Later, my beautiful Virginia and I, we go to sleeper car and’a go to bed.
We just about to have’a sex and the conductor, he come’a through car yelling,
‘NO-FOLK’A, VIRGINIA!'”
“Next’a time, Ima driva down!!”
Now, that’s shaggy….
Norfolk High School Cheerleaders primary cheer
We don’t drink, we don’t smoke, Norfolk, Norfolk!
Ha!
I think most of’em are lying.
Well, there are three towns with high schools in Pennsylvania named: Virginville, Blue Ball, and Intercourse. (I suspect Virginville and Blue Ball are close to one another.)
There also is Dildo in Newfoundland, and right up the road from me is Lizard Lick, North Carolina (not too far from a truck stop).
The cheer-ful poetic possibilities are intriguing.
Maybe next Friday?