U.S.—According to sources, your wife can’t recall where she put her car keys but still remembers the dumb thing you said to her over 12 years ago.
“Ugh — where are those keys?” she asked of the car keys she set down on the counter not five minutes before. “Did somebody move them? You moved them, didn’t you?”
When you insisted that you didn’t move them, she was reminded of something mean you said over a decade ago.
“You’re wrong. Remember when you were wrong about the thing that time?”
She then proceeded to quote the exact phrase, what the weather was like, what time of day it was, where you were standing, and what the Dow was at exactly that moment.
“But honestly, where the heck are my keys?”
She also couldn’t find her sunglasses, though they were on her forehead.
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My wife and I have known each other since we were 16 & 17 and after 45 plus years of marriage she has now started bringing up every stupid adolescent dumb shit I ever did with a vengeance .
I’m trying to chill out in a modest retirement after serious health issues and I still do a stressless delivery job a couple shifts a week . Worked 42 years full time bought a home paid for private school and college for our child . Certainly my wife worked full time and that made everything easier but now I’m an asshole loser WTF !
My illness was a hereditary thing we discovered many older blood line relatives died from but I was lucky now I’m a worthless pile of shit . Yes she remembers everything I ever said or did with zero slack ! I’m going for the Tattoo : UNFORGIVEN maybe JC and the big G will cut me some slack !
Anonymous,
I had an uncle who after he lost his hair in his 50’s and his forehead went all the way up you could see these tiny half-moon scars, about a dozen of them, high up on his head.
But the kicker was he had – had them for 25 years (no one knew they were there when he had hair) but he didn’t know how they got there!
Then 25 years later he was dying from emphysema, on oxygen, my aunt outweighed him and could take him, and then she told him…she did it, she gave him the scars.
See he had a drinking problem in his 20’s and early 30’s (after coming home from WW2 – he was a grunt in the 82nd Airborne, purple heart, saw and did too much) and was staggering home at 3 & 4 am every Friday and Saturday night and she was pissed, actually seething over it.
One Sunday morning he staggered in at 4am…so drunk he could barely walk…and passed out cold on the living room floor. My Aunt was so pissed off she went and got one of her spiked high heel shoes, then beat him high up on the top of his head until blood was running down his face in a dozen streaks. (She said she didn’t want to ruin his handsome face…he was a rugged good looking man.)
He didn’t wake up until noon the next day, dried caked blood all over his face, the worst hangover and head pain of his entire life, and with no memory and no idea what had happened, where or who had beat him so viciously.
My Aunt had left to go to her Mother’s after, leaving him where he passed out. She passed it off as just leaving him for not coming home again…before he came in.
They got back together a week later…he soon stopped the serious binge drinking, and their last decades together were pretty good.
She finally told him she was the one who gave him the half-moons scars…and she told him, after 25 years, he deserved each and every one!
Mark : I pulled a few benders in my time after marriage but not after children . Sure I had a few here or there but did not drive etc …I set an example even went to church and paid for catholic school coached etc… yep even passed a background check !
No grown man or woman should be judged consistently and with zero respect over the indiscretions of youth especially when there was nothing blatantly illegal and no harm done to anyone but themselves ! My buddies and I had some fuckin great times . Two returned from Vietnam without a scratch another from the Navy and me from a stretch on an oil rig . We bought a half keg , ice a grill and food and didn’t stop till the keg blew , we all caught some shit for that one from everyone but one guys dad , he was a Screaming Eagle at Bastogne . He congratulated the guys back from Nam and all of us for staying tight . He even drew a couple beers . We all felt justified . We were young American men free to be a bit of an asshole for a while , we earned it !
I’m with you buddy…there was a time to cut loose!
Back in the day I tried to sneak in late one Saturday night after too many…decided to turn the car off and silently coast into the driveway…then quietly go in the side door away from the bedroom, and silently slip into bed…but I misjudged the driveway glide…running right into the garage door…BAM! Then getting out I stumbled and fell onto my back…couldn’t get up…I was a turtle! Then I went into a fit of uncontrollable drunken laughter. I actually started howing at the moon.
Out of nowhere my wife was standing there with her arms folded up high on her well-endowed breasts…who I would not visit again for a quite awhile…giving me the toe tapping ‘LOOK’ of total disgust that could wither a cactus.
Hey, I did some time throwing lead tong out of Morgan City La. for Noble Drilling/Texaco…still have a worm bite on my left hand…but all my fingers!
Hmmm!!! Oilfield trash like myself. Been there, done that, but still got all my fingers.
Unreconstructed,
Yep…I can still count to 10…20 if I take my shoes and socks off!
mark,
many years ago when i was an insurance agent in a poor part of town i had a customer who was blind & had a terribly scarred/deformed face,chest,and upper arms–i assumed he had been in a fire but never asked him until i had been on the route for 6 months or so & knew him well enough to get him talking–
he was a wife beater when he drank & one evening after he had slapped his wife around & then passed out in the bed she walked in to the bedroom & poured if i remember correctly, bleach & lye all over him-
she did 3-4 years in jail but he paid 4 it his entire life–
Whoa…that is a sad story…
Anon – hate to break it to you, but many women turn nasty as they get old, and there is no cure when that happens. You will have to make a decision on that I suspect, as the option is to live with it until you die, which will likely be soon if she is entirely off the rails, or abandon ship. Really sorry for what is happening to you, and sorry it likely will not get better.
One cause I understand is that when men retire, some women simply do not want them around that much. Plus hormonal issues.
Good luck.
Llpoh-would not have said it much differently.
Special request to Anon the poster: please post your story again, early in the morning, with a special invitation of the Ladies of TBP to help save humanity by giving us their reasoned replies for why they feel it is okay to treat us like shit after all the years of being together.
Ladies, we want to hear your side of the story!
All of which makes the case for the 5 year renewable marriage license with a no-fault clause.
Once, Family Guy ran a brief joke with a male voice singing, “Men, We Don’t Know What We Did!” I repeated the line to Spouse, who was suddenly grim and responded, “No, you don’t know what you did.” It was sort of uncomfortable after that…
my experience is that this is only partially correct–
have you guys ever had these arguments come up but she is ascribing your correct position in the fight to herself & assigning her blatantly full of shite argument to you?
there’s no winning–
After a long marriage it seems that most become like a horse with a broken leg , you can shoot the horse but that don’t fix the leg !
My experience since the menopause plague : Nothing is ever OK , absolutely NOTHING !
I have had to experience violent out bursts regularly and no answer to any question Isco ever sufficient also temper goes from zero to 100 at the flick of a switch .
Fact if I did what she has done I would be in jail
Unbelievable. I thought I was the only one that had these problems with long term (42 years) spouse. Glad to know many others in same boat but sad, that they, like me must experience it. Read book called “5 Types of People Who Can Ruin Your Life” about Personality Disorders. My wife now fits one of these types. Book says that there are genetic links, i.e. hereditary, to these behaviors.
Her mom was the same way to her dad and she was ashamed of her for that disrespect shown by her mom to her dad . A man that supported her and she never worked a day outside the home . Yes she raised 3 kids and he worked a full time job and a weekend part time nights in a full service station near home . For that after he retired and they toured the country bought a trailer at the beach for all the family to enjoy he started with health issues after 15 years retired . After radiation for cancer pop slowed down a lot and started with dementia her answer was to yell at him like a dog that pissed on the rug !
Fuck it I stepped in at a family get together and told her to ease up and calm down . She turned on me and I stopped her cold with my shipboard back the fuck up NOW !
You may talk to pop like that but not me and not him in my presence . She backed off and not long after they both ended up in my home till they passed away a year apart . Funny the other two adult children only showed up for a check when I finished fixing up their old house but couldn’t lift a finger for Dr appointments etc …
Yep that’s me the asshole that has every-bodies back . I will talk things out with anybody but you curse at me and yell at me we are done ! I don’t care who’s mother you are !
Funny she thanked me for all her daughter and I did for her and her husband .
Was I perfect , he’ll no but I was there every time they needed something and asked and got nothing in return but a few beers , paid in full in my family
Man that is rough…makes me appreciate how lucky I have been…I hit the wife lottery, I’m not kidding. Many of my friends have been envious…and I have caught all of them admiring her.
My wife got her Mom’s looks (my Mother in law was super pretty, suffered hard with MS before she went home though)…my wife inherited her Dad’s personality, and nature…thank God! My Mother in law had a violent temper. Turned it on me once early on, but I handled it well.
I really enjoy my Father in law, he is a riot, and my wife is the jewel in his four children crown…they are super close.
He is coming to live with us in three weeks (85 and it is time he doesn’t need to be alone). I’m looking forward to it. The man is an abundant wealth of country living knowledge and skills, and is an amazing cook. His nickname in his family is the ‘Iron man’. Well deserved.
Noble of you, Mann, to take in your FIL at 85, as, UR right… he’s probably earned it, to not be alone during his sunset years.
Hat tip your way, my friend.
This has been an informative, and enjoyable thread.
You on board, kit?
I feel for you, bro. Although the sexy mulatta is quite stable, I work with a woman we can call Zykotica. She sounds a little like your experience and in fact I have mentioned her from time to time when she really gets under my skin. And, yes, she abuses the pussy pass.
I would say that if you are experiencing violent outbursts, you should already be looking for the door. You do not owe any bitch an explanation when you decide to leave. You don’t owe yourself an explanation either, just go. Do yourself a favor, seriously. Go.