U.S.—Stimulus payments have been delayed yet again as President Trump announced he would be personally delivering a giant check to each and every American.
Trump will reportedly knock on every door in the country and surprise each household with the giant check and some free balloons.
“Hi, I’m President Trump, and you’ve just won $1,200 of your own money!” Trump shouted, smiling, as he started going down his street, beginning at 1601 Pennsylvania Avenue and moving on from there. “Congratulations! What are you going to do now?”
“I’m going to Disney World!” the woman declared, overjoyed. No one had the heart to tell her.
This could take a while, so the White House has cautioned everyone that their stimulus checks could arrive any time between now and 1,500,000 A.D.
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I HAVE RECEIVED WORD FROM ONE OF OUR LOCAL ELECTED OFFICALS THAT OUR POSTAL SYSTEM IS IN DANGER. MAIL IN JUNE SHALL BE SLOW, AND BY SEPTEMBER IT SHALL COLLAPSE. I AM SHARING THIS PETITION FOR ANYONE WHO WOULD WANT TO PARTICIPATE IN THEIR STATES. HERE GOS————————————————–:
https://www.paction.us/usps/lucy-mcbath-for-congress?emci=bda5e8b9-617f-ea11-a94c-00155d03b1e8&emdi=bfa5e8b9-617f-ea11-a94c-00155d03b1e8&ceid=10659033
I am in that bitches Congressional district as well and she never sent me shit. The sooner the USPS goes under the better. We have been carrying them for way too long. The sooner ALL the government monopoly services are shuttered, in favor of OPEN AND FREE COMPETITION, the better off and richer off we will all be.
Why this asshole has insisted that his signature be on every paper check is a mystery to me. ITS OUR FUCKING MONEY ASSHOLE!!!! When it comes out of YOUR pocket, then you can happily sign it.
Shades of the Publisher’s Clearing House Sweepstakes!!
This whole thing is becoming NAUSEATING….Hokum virus BS, stimulus checks , the blame game, Nancy Pukelosi’s fukkin iced cream…..Auugggggh!!!!!!
This has to be hell and we are the punished sinners. How is it we died and went to hell and we are unaware we iz dead?? Was it a plane crash, car wreck, IDK. But this is getting to be stupid. Who wrote this ignorant script?
lol Well written and funny. Thanks for the laugh. I can always use them. I am afraid that peak clown world is like peak oil, not coming anytime soon though our emotions may tell us it’s imminent. Hence, comedy relief is rare and valuable.
Jeff and Cindy must be liberals. They are only getting half of what they were promised with their hand delivered $1,200 check. They are probably too stupid to realize Trump is short changing them.
He was delivering mine, came strolling up like a rooster in the Farmer’s Day Parade last August, tripped over a rake one of the kids had left out, gave us all a big cussing, and just threw the damn thing over in some high weeds near the Ford Pinto that just gave out one day and hasn’t been moved since, of course can’t now because the tires have all rotted.
Anyway, walked over to retrieve it and noticed that push mower had not seen in about two years, so when I pulled that out a possum came rolling out from underneath it, guess he had been looking for copperheads, so all in all was a good day, a check and supper.