From CBS Los Angeles:
A 35-year-old woman who tried to climb down the chimney of her estranged boyfriend’s Woodcrest home early Saturday morning had to be rescued after getting stuck, according to the Riverside County Fire Department.
Homeowner Tony Hernandez said the woman, the mother of his three children, had tried around 5 a.m. to open the door of his home in the 15800 block of Rancho Viejo Drive. When she found it locked she climbed to the roof and attempted to get in through the chimney. That’s when she became wedged inside the 12-by-12-inch chimney. She had apparently removed her clothes to aid her descent.
Via Local 10:
A shoplifting suspect, apparently out of options after being confronted by employees, smeared poop in their faces, police said.
Marisol Toribio, 32, was arrested Tuesday by Coral Springs police.
According to court documents, Toribio was caught stealing from Macy’s, so she pulled some poop out of her pants and smeared it on the faces of the loss prevention employees who confronted her.
See more at the Fail Blog
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Coming soon to just about everywhere near you….Thank the Wuhan.
Being 65 yrs old I never thought I would ever have to wash my hands before I picked my nose.
I finally understand why people want throw pillows.
That’s not Wuhan – maybe Woohoo
Ms. Thinktank always helped me with ideas.
Watch the feet, watch the feet!
Float like a butterfly, get bee-stung. Not how that works.
No wonder Alice had nightmares.
One pill makes your larger
And one pill makes you small.
Is that joe Biden out of the basement?
I like how she is holding still, while it is getting a sample taste of her arm.
Rabbit Fricassee
In a skillet, brown rabbit in oil; drain. Cover rabbit with boiling water; cover and simmer for 30-40 minutes or until tender. Remove meat and keep warm. Bring cooking liquid to a boil; boil, uncovered, until reduced to 2 cups.
In a bowl, combine flour and butter until smooth; gradually add a small amount of cooking liquid. Return to skillet. Whisk in remaining liquid. add lemon juice, hot pepper sauce, celery salt, salt and pepper. Bring to a boil, stirring constantly; cook and stir for 2 minutes.
Reduce heat. Combine the egg and milk; gradually whisk in sauce. Cook for 1 minute or until thickened and mixture reaches 160°. Pour over the rabbit.
Serves from 10 to 15 people.
Whiskey Tango Foxtrot???
“Stupid is as stupid does, sir”.
Must be an award for that accomplishment Bob
Darwin in action.
Gifs like this are too short. I want to see more of the aftermath.
And maybe an explanation.
I don’t want to see what her hands are doing….
Why would you, when it would be better to feel what her hands are doing.
You did notice, HER hand is behind her back. The hands you can see belong to whoever is behind her. They appear to me to be to large to be her’s.
That arm indeed is moving up and down, while his are moving round and round.
Is this a dirty-clean or clean-dirty gif?
The “New – Never Fails BarBQ Starter” is demonstrated…
“I have got to get me one of these!”
That’ll put a wobble in your drone. Piro=fun.
Double down on RED for the win.
Time to go buy a lotto ticket
Now there’s not very may folks, that can do that…
Skill level 100.
Next time I renovate my kitchen I want these accessories.
I’ll even do the (re)models myself. I know how to work with wood.
Gamtastic!
While in the kitchen order deliver.
Skill level zero.
Can you spot the libiot?
Get off your and walk
Again, can you spot the libiot?
This is what happens when you lockdown a bunch of country kids from school and it’s late winter or early spring and there’s nothing else that needs done on the farm.
So this is why guys join the navy.
no
We know that this isn’t:
Mr. L
After 6 weeks at sea even the newspaper lady at the main gate looks good.
Ahoy thar matties.
Where is the brake lever?
Laughter is contagious.
NOW he wishes he hadn’t slept through those physics classes…. Let’s see – coefficient of friction, velocity at launch, downward acceleration due to gravity. Aww, fuck it – it looks about right, let’s give it a try!
Horse whisperer.
Shhhh…tonight we make a for it.
God Bless America.
Nancy should forego the makeup.
More useful things have come out of the horse’s ass on the left.
I don’t think the horse would appreciate this comparison one bit!
Last one didn’t work.
Stupidity
ON STEROIDS !!!
“Representative” “democracy”
Godrilla
The actual size of Abrams ego.
Guess I’ll have to do it manually for a while.
Judging by the look on her face he’s going to be doing lots of things “manually”, if you get my drift, for long time after she sees this pic.
Hello ?
It takes talent to get on a yacht, and her talent is………..
Bob keep your eyes on the road!
I’ll slow down to 50 and take my chances.
Bob, your a stronger man than I. I would have to stop the car before the view stopped my heart.
Park and rides’ are for a reason.
Watch out for the crabs.
Wonder if she would be interested in some “driftwood” that might wash up behind her about now?
Now I really hate ties.
One must remember; ties can double as leashes.
That’s gotta be moist.
Another Darwin Award in the making
Looks more like involuntary manslaughter.
C’mon baby light my fire.
Richard Pryor wannabe.
Want something with a creamy filling to suck on?
There’s 3 super bright bulbs.
Oppa!
Most people don’t realize just how disgusting the water is that first comes out of the sprinkler when it discharges. That water has often been sitting in those pipes for decades. We had a defective head break and we were shocked at all the black water that covered our production floor..
I test sprinklers in new construction. The water is disgusting before the building is even occupied.
How the Wuhan entertain themselves, dig holes in the sidewalks, eat bats, and create pandemics.
Does look like a handy place to park a bike.
That’s what you get for operating a motor vehicle on the sidewalk.
Her anticipation is enlightening. Her CCP enrollment is assured.
Nipple stop
Hanging on by a nip.
Oops!
The true fountain of youth.
What was your strategic plan?
Now this is what I call a sheepherders breakfast, a cup of coffee and a piece of ewe.
Nice mug.
So, Melania struck this same pose just before Mr. Trump tweeted “covfefe.”
“me wuv yu wong time”
What kind of man reads TBP? I only read it for the articles.
me too
Wedgie ready, let the fun begin. Wheres, my cuffs? Kink time.
TGIF. Everyone have a great weekend. Let us not forget Monday to give thanks for those that have given the greatest sacrifice for us all. Let us make sure that this gift placed upon the altar of freedom was not given in vain as we go forward.
The issue is muddied by all those millions who have fought for Uncle Sam’s friends in the oil, arms, and banking cartels, and those who have fought to promote the foreign policies of Israel, Saudi Arabia, and the globalists. I’m certainly on board with the Revolutionary war, and the folks who fought against the Union in the 1860s (although they are forever to be left off any memorial day list). Beyond that, I strongly reserve judgement.
My family has only been in the USA a little over 100 years. We’ve only lost 2 members to war that I’m aware of. My Great Uncle shortly after WWI due to lung damage from Mustard gas and a First Cousin in WWII killed in Italy in May of 1944 fighting the Germans. I remember and say a prayer of thanks for them and the rest every Memorial Day. Tomorrow I will go on my annual pilgrimage to place a US flag on their graves and on the graves of all my relatives who were veterans.
Excellent!!
All my flags were out yesterday, all come in Tuesday, EXCEPT ONE.
I truly appreciate your help today, Cow Proctologist. You’re looking more and more like a potential clean up hitter. I thank you, and I know that Jim thanks you.
You are all welcome. Plus I had 2 weeks to prepare.
Cow Doctor,nkit, Bob and all, I just a lurker from Australia but I just wanted to let you all know how much I enjoy all of your posts on Friday Fail. Thanks Don.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DjBvBrWJ_8A
That is impressive
German depth charge? One possible name?
I like it ?
https://woodstermangotwood.blogspot.com/2020/05/radar.html
The man was unmatched. What a picker!
Roy Buchanan world’s best guitarist voted by the world’s best guitarist.
God Bless.
Where in the heck is Yancey? I miss him. He was a heavy hitter in the FF lineup. I hope that he is well..