Democrats Hiss In Terror As ACB Pulls Out Crucifix

Via The Babylon Bee

WASHINGTON, D.C.—Amy Coney Barrett has eloquently defended herself through the Senate confirmation hearings this morning. But as Dems grew increasingly vicious, she was forced to turn to desperate measures.

After several hours of hearings, Barrett pulled out a large crucifix and held it aloft. A light shone from the heavens, and the Democrats knew they were defeated.

They shrunk back and began to hiss. “Noooo!” cried Senator Richard Blumenthal. “It burns us! Take it away!” He dove under his desk to hide from its light.

“Agggghhhh!!!” screamed Senator Cory Booker, his skin sizzling at the sight of Jesus on the cross. “I’ll get you one day, Barrett!”

“Looks like Booker’s blasting off again!” he shouted as he jumped through the wall like the Kool-Aid Man in an attempt to escape the burning.

Senator Mazie Hirono made a loud hissing noise and growled at the cross. Her head began to turn around and around like a demonic owl. Then, she vomited pea soup.

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10 Comments
TN Patriot
TN Patriot
October 13, 2020 10:27 am

So when do the people break out the wooden stakes?

yahsure
yahsure
October 13, 2020 10:31 am

It’s really not hard to believe. Funny!

TampaRed
TampaRed
October 13, 2020 10:33 am

the republicans are doing something smart here if i understand the situation correctly–
the hearings will only last till thursday so i assume they will vote not long after that–
she might be on the court in just a week or so–

Big Red
Big Red
October 13, 2020 10:47 am

…and the crowd goes wild…for Biden…

That’s right ‘mericans… vote for your own destruction..
Hell..your lives are steaming piles of shit anyway, right ?
Dumbphones, dancing and cooking tv shows, etc….

Go ahead – prove me wrong – show me what YOU have done to justify YOUR existence.
I thought so…
What the hell… you’re better off fucking dead…
You’re the laughing stock of the whole fucking planet, you fucking morons !!!

Lessee now – endless downvotes ‘cos you cant handle the reality of your own (non) existence eh?
Fuck… 2 weeks to go and your lives are fucking over if you vote demonrat.

Auntie Kriest
Auntie Kriest
  Big Red
October 13, 2020 11:43 am

Joe’s abounding charisma is plainly evident amid that myriad of adoring Buckeye supporters.

Auntie Kriest
Auntie Kriest
October 13, 2020 11:41 am

Wait until someone with a great sense of humour and timing pulls out a bottle of Holy Water and sprays a little on the assembled Dem(on)s. That sizzling sound will be interpreted by the Media as static as esteemed Demoncrat lawmakers and staffers run out of the hall into the offices where the crypts filled with native dirt shall provide some respite from the agony of the ACB hearings.

Trapped in Portlandia
Trapped in Portlandia
  Auntie Kriest
October 13, 2020 12:34 pm

I wonder if the hearing room has the windows covered to keep the rays of the sun out.

22winmag - I was told about 2020 in 1981
22winmag - I was told about 2020 in 1981
October 13, 2020 12:36 pm
William Williams
William Williams
October 13, 2020 1:01 pm

I almost didn’t believe it when I saw Sen. Hirono’s head starting to spin like that.

Incredible stuff!