CHASKA, MN—Mike Lindell, more commonly known as the “My Pillow Guy,” is making headlines once again with his newest line of pillows. MyPillow is now targeting the socialist demographic with the release of OurPillow.
“MyPillow did really well in the Trump era, but now with a new administration, it’s time to try out OurPillow, my comrades!” said an exuberant Mike Lindell. “And we are proud to announce that we are transitioning to overseas factories so every Our Pillow will be made 100% in the communist utopia of China!”
A recent “As Seen On TV” commercial revealed that OurPillow will no longer perfectly adjust to fit individuals, but instead it will conform to the masses. It also boasts a patented, quick-drying, liberal tear absorbing foam. “It’s guaranteed the most comfortable pillow the State will ever own and let you use!” said Lindell.
“We love how inclusive Our Pillow is, and now that the government is paying for it, everyone can enjoy!” said democratic socialist Millie Lenin. “Not to mention– the built-in deodorizer is a nice touch.”
When asked how to order Our Pillow, Mike Lindell replied: “Look for OurPillow today being distributed at a breadline near you!”
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To donate via Stripe, click here.
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Use promo code ILMF2, and save up to 66% on all MyPillow purchases. (The Burning Platform benefits when you use this promo code.)
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Xiden, Dear Leader…. coming to a nursing home near you!
That’s F’ng funny I don’t care who you are…Comrade!
Do you realize if [“my pillows” etc. etc. scams] Mike Lindell [con artist] ‘Itself’ was hanging by one arm on a cliff and had to pick between saving ‘Itself’ or praising The Trump, ‘It’d’ instinctively let go and stoically plunge into the abyss while fantasizing about getting reincarnated as The Trump’s boxer shorts?!
And ‘It’ should die of deep and slow moving venereal diseases rashes and pustules that settle deep within ‘It’s’ lying throat!
Also Ex–Former prez–The Donald–The T Rump–The Trump Et–The Trumpty Dumpty and ‘Its’ Former Regime and Cronies and Henchmen and Minions–All should die by slow moving and deep rashes and festering boils!
[9/11 Memorials To Be Replaced By ‘More Important’ Jan 6 Memorials.]
‘MyPillow’® Holds Annual Jan. 6 Blowout Sale.
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE – ‘MyPillow’® C. E. O. Mike Lindell proudly announces the most patriotic way to celebrate January 6 with the ‘MyPillow’® First Annual January 6 Blowout Sale.
“You heard that right, fellow patriots. I’m practically giving away all MyPillow® products* to celebrate the most crucial fight for American Independence since 1776,” says Lindell while warmly embracing the Classic MyPillow® Pillow, and the MyPillow® Mattress Topper, and the 6-Piece MyPillow® Towel Set, and the MyPillow® Dog Bed, and the MyPillow® Coffee.
“If you act now and spend over $500.00 on these amazing products, I’ll throw in the brand-new MyPillow® Giza Cotton-Lined Concealed Carry Handgun Holster for free,” continued the company’s CEO, “It’s so comfortable, you’ll forget you’re carrying the only thing stopping the commies from infiltrating positions of power in every small town in America through satanic mind control mechanisms.”
That’s not all! Earn free shipping on your order if, during checkout, you submit proof of your participation in the January 6 fight to save democracy.
*Sale does not apply to the full-size Donald J. Trump Body Pillow, and the Donald J. Trump Hairy Leg Lamp, and the Donald J. Trump Pink Silk Nightwear.
[Also:
Can you tell the difference between a peaceful protest and an insurrection?!
Find out in our MyPillow new hit game show!]
[9/11 Memorials To Be Replaced By ‘More Important’ Jan 6 Memorials.]
‘MyPillow’® Holds Annual Jan. 6 Blowout Sale.
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE – ‘MyPillow’® C. E. O. Mike Lindell proudly announces the most patriotic way to celebrate January 6 with the ‘MyPillow’® First Annual January 6 Blowout Sale.
“You heard that right, fellow patriots. I’m practically giving away all MyPillow® products* to celebrate the most crucial fight for American Independence since 1776,” says Lindell while warmly embracing the Classic MyPillow® Pillow, and the MyPillow® Mattress Topper, and the 6-Piece MyPillow® Towel Set, and the MyPillow® Dog Bed, and the MyPillow® Coffee.
“If you act now and spend over $500.00 on these amazing products, I’ll throw in the brand-new MyPillow® Giza Cotton-Lined Concealed Carry Handgun Holster for free,” continued the company’s CEO, “It’s so comfortable, you’ll forget you’re carrying the only thing stopping the commies from infiltrating positions of power in every small town in America through satanic mind control mechanisms.”
That’s not all! Earn free shipping on your order if, during checkout, you submit proof of your participation in the January 6 fight to save democracy.
*Sale does not apply to the full-size Donald J. Trump Body Pillow, and the Donald J. Trump Hairy Leg Lamp, and the Donald J. Trump Pink Silk Nightwear.
[Also:
Can you tell the difference between a peaceful protest and an insurrection?!
Find out in our MyPillow new hit game show!]
That unscrupulous ex-con snake oil salesman is now selling coffee.
BEST COFFEE EVER. 87% OFF. BUY 1 GET 20 FREE!! FREE SHIPPING!! ENTER PROMOCODE ‘FUKYOUSTUCKY”