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It is my sincere desire to provide readers of this site with the best unbiased information available, and a forum where it can be discussed openly, as our Founders intended. But it is not easy nor inexpensive to do so, especially when those who wish to prevent us from making the truth known, attack us without mercy on all fronts on a daily basis. So each time you visit the site, I would ask that you consider the value that you receive and have received from The Burning Platform and the community of which you are a vital part. I can't do it all alone, and I need your help and support to keep it alive. Please consider contributing an amount commensurate to the value that you receive from this site and community, or even by becoming a sustaining supporter through periodic contributions. [Burning Platform LLC - PO Box 1520 Kulpsville, PA 19443] or Paypal
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Racist buggers! What’s the matter with white anus?
They are too clean fo’ dat down home flava’.
This is what’s wrong with white anus burgers.
I BEAT KAREN’S DOWNVOTING!
Walmart biscuits
This is nonsense. She doesn’t know what concentrate means.
She looks like she thought it said “CONSTIPATE” instead.
Dear Mr. Gomer, I humbly and sincerely apologize for my outburst last week. I misunderstood your first comment. I thought you were insinuating that I stole your comment and that was not what you meant. I was wrong and I am sorry for my response. You did not deserve any of it. I hope you can forgive me for my stupidity and my comments. I wish you well.
Anon, thanks for the kind words. Around here “FF” referred to “Friday Fail”, well, in this instance I say it means “Forgive and Forget”. Apology accepted and blessings to you.
Thank you.
What makes you think she thinks about anything? Her utterings betray no evidence of a brain. I think maybe she has a ganglion up there that enables her to walk and breathe, but that’s about it.
She has a limbic system, basal ganglia but lacks any semblance of a cerebral cortex.
Joe Biden to AOC, let me blow in your ear. AOC, That’s awesome!! Thanks for the refill.
I’m guessing that’s why they call her occasional cortex? 😉
Occasional? I haven’t heard a single instance of function. I would recommend Alexandria Oblivious Cortez.
Let Pelosi Sleep… it off.
Busy with my Dad and Doctors again today will be back later
prayers outbound, Doc
Thanks! His procedure today went well.
Too bad global warming is bullshit or all the ice on the planet would melt and we’d be much safer.
vodka + kamora + milk + ice…
He could make money with that face, if he’d just have his teeth pulled.
To belabour the point, he’s shaved his face to mimic a woman’s pudendum. Which reminds me of a (true?) story I once read of famous art critic, John Ruskin, who allegedly discovered on his wedding night that women had pubic hair. He was reportedly so revolted he never touched a woman thereafter. His wife left him after five unconsummated years for his protegé John Millais.
I must say, I’m not a fan of the modern fad for waxing or shaving. A woman should not look and feel like a little girl. I love the feeling of what one writer described as “her electric fur”. It’s like when I got my current dog as a pup; he used to sleep on my pillow with his face on my neck. The contrast of his coarse whiskers with the softness of his face was delicious.
Teaching a child that young to be a voyeur is questionable.
Who’s the voyeur now, Bob?
The best kind of jiggle.
Keep your face outta there lest you get blow back.
Aahhh, the .50BMG twerk. Sexy.
She’s just spotting for her sniper-in-training sister. They’ll make a wonderful team.
Children and firearms a bad idea,they are unwieldy and can lead to accidents.
Children are much more suited to say team run semi-fixed weapons like heavy machine guns/mortars ect.,builds teamwork and the children are now a valued asset in neighborhood security.
Only if there is someone with enough upper body strength to pull the bolt back to the firing position. No way a kid is going to be able to cock a Ma Deuce.
I was packing a BB gun as early as 5 years of age as where my son and nephew. They as was I were being taught proper gun safety. IMHO you need to start them as early as possible.
Looks like my place.
My dog usually does the spotting. Whoops, wrong kind of spotting.
Send it.
I’m the quintessential smart ass, sarcastic dickhead; just ask my wife. She doesn’t appear to think she needs me, though.
Silent “outgassing” peels paint from walls.
TGIF
does it come in Bulleit format?
Someone gave me a bottle of that as a gift and I was very impressed by the quality. Nice old style bottle too.
That has a place in the liquor cabinet
Hillbilly blood transfusion — or embalming fluid?
Our toilet water is healthier than water out of a Somalian or Honduran river, especially after it’s flushed.
The smart blonde agrees.
That’s pretty correct because most urban Muslims just crap in a plumbing hole in their closet that has two ribbed shoe soles on either side for their feet. Instead of toilet paper, they use a jet of water. Then they toss a bucket of water in the hole to flush it. Desert tradition is to cut the right hand off of anyone who reaches for food in a bowl with their right hand. To tell the truth, squatting like they do does make the job go easier.
Yep,
That’s why they don’t shake hands.
No, that’s not exactly how it goes. In their religion, the right hand is for eating, the left hand is for washing. Thieves are punished by amputating the right hand, so they are no longer able to feed themselves.
I think there are many more differences. The main one is it’s fun to screw a hooker, but nothing about a Democrat is fun. Also, when you get a disease from a whore, at least it can be cured, but Democrats plague you with imaginary diseases that continue forever.
“When one gets in bed with government, one must expect the diseases it spreads.” – Ron Paul
Reminds me of the story about a teenage girl asking her mother about the “Birds and the Bees”. After going over the basics, the girl asks if she can get pregnant from anal sex. The mother thinks for a moment then replies, of course you can dear, where do you think Democrats come from!
That’s funny I don’t care who you are
Instant classic.
I saw a video a while back where an interviewer asked college kids about socialism and almost all said it was glorious. Then he asked if they would agree to lower their grades if struggling students were given higher grades. Every last one of them said no because it wasn’t fair; they worked for their grades, dammit! Too stupid to see the irony.
Its all because they don’t have any money or a job yet. That’s why 18 year olds should not be allowed to vote.
Only property owners with children should be allowed to vote.
Only after we eat the rich. I mean the REAL rich.
I’ll volunteer to gut them and skin them.
That’s just plain dumb. You should not vote
Nope, that’s pure stupid + indoctrination. Something a 4th grader (without job or income) back in our day wouldn’t even need explained to him.
hat tip JJ
This is a non-sequitur. Were I a suicide bomber, I’d definitely want to fill up with bacon beforehand. Otherwise blowing myself up wouldn’t make sense.
No 72 virgins for you then! Your heavenly reward will be one 72 year old virgin!
It gets worse than that, the real translation is 72 grapes.
the dude on the train sneaking some pr0n looks an awful lot like klaus schwab , doesnt he?
from the looks of it that certainly seems like a train one would see somewhere in switzerland or germany.
The young lady living next door…
If she’s next door, what the hell you doing on FF? Have you no peeping Tom instinct at all?
And one of the best movie scenes ever!
Animal House is a classic and was Belushi’s zenith.
Are you buying them for the needy in your neighborhood? I’ll contribute if you’ll keep sending pics.
She is really good at wearing shorts.
French government fail: Fires tank driver Sargent from the French Foreign Legion for for wearing a “Call of Duty” mask that scared boko haram in Mali:
I think a zombie apocalypse is much more likely than a gorgeous babysitter having her way with me, but that won’t stop me from hoping.
That’s in case I get a job delivering pizzas to sorority houses.
CDC Zombie Preparedness (your tax dollars at work).
This is a REAL gov. website!
Warning; right click and open in a new tab so you don’t exit f.f.
https://www.cdc.gov/cpr/zombie/index.htm
That site exists since the beginning of the millennium
Military’s been training up for it, too. For years.
Just who do you think the “zombies” are? (hint: it’s you & me)
Georgia Guidestones
nuther one from JJ…very cool, IMO
Break time!
That’s impressive
Also it brightens up any room.
I actually used him for a while. Then he wanted to pull all my teeth for falsies.
nope.
I just couldn’t see how pulling my teeth would make me a D-cup.
If this must be written on the box…
Shit! I never saw that instruction. Maybe this is why I never liked pizza.
Tried to tell you cardboard tastes like crap even with a case of beer
But it has plenty of fiber.
On bottle of shampoo it say lathe, rinse repeat.. STOP after the 2nd time for a good reason
Hmmm…reminds me of a question: How do blind people know when to stop wiping their butts?
And how do bald people know where to stop washing their face?
That is so you can distinguish between the box and a gluten free crust.
Thx, B.R.M.
and can read an analog clock,
Ringo Starr had an album titled 33 1/3 when he was that age. It had the No No song on it.
My bad. Brain skip. George Harrison had that album. The Ringo album was Goodnight Vienna.
All because of inflation.
I guess what they’re saying is spend $3.25 now if you don’t want to spend $22.00 (plus about a million more) dollars later.
There is a great number of cultures without a sense of humor… then there is ours.
I agree Dan.
Good thing she used a condom. She could’ve wound up hearing the pitter-patter of a little boogers around the house.
When your wife asks you what you want for your birthday give her this picture as a hint.
thx, Odie
I told you it wouldn’t fit, Jethro!
Things aren’t always as they appear…
Thx, tacky, for both of these
Actually, they are not usually wrong.
True…Occam’s razor.
Question was all wrong. Should have been “What is the value of x?”
If you calculated x = 5, then you’re a racist white bigot! The correct answer is x = whatever you feel it should be.
Sorry, the terms X and Y mean nothing anymore you transphobic POS. LOL
We have a winner
I can’t keep up with all the ever-changing pronouns they keep coming up with, so I’ve taken the guesswork out of it.
When in doubt, I just call them, She, He, or IT HEADS!
Useless Idiots, morons, democrats…
Why would I want to find my X?
You don’t have to show your work. Didn’t need to say here it is…
Ambiguous Gay Duo
Cut them down before they spread everywhere!
Watch it Bob…there be radical cat lovers around here.
Early Bee Gees?
https://www.zerohedge.com/political/fbi-raids-business-renting-anonymous-safety-deposit-boxes-forces-customers-reveal
Fill a few with Nitro…
hat tip TFI
Yep
Thank you, Barbara Bach, for the…
…Daisy Duke!
Is that moonshine she’s holding?
Related to the arcane law of justice by combat. I read a story about a Cambridge University student who went to an exam and insisted on receiving tea and cakes. The professor, somewhat baffled, asked why and the student produced a copy of a centuries old rule that provided for students taking exams to be provided with tea and cakes. The professor went to a vending machine and improvised as well as he could.
The next class the professor issued the student a fine, something like a Pound. The student asked why and the professor produced a similarly old rule that stated students attending exams must be wearing their sword.
Excellent!
And this definitely won’t kill you–unless you pour it over ice.
I saw the notification further up… I have my bourbon neat. No Ice no water no added sugar from any form of sodas… Neat, just like Dad taught me.
My dad taught me to hide a beer in the toilet tank so your wife doesn’t bug you about drinking too much and so you could have an even more enjoyable shit.
And it’s usually pretty cold water. Homer Simpson used this technique.
And ya don’t have to pee so much either.
That wasn’t my shot, those are my daily covid test, pour, can smell it – yes, can I can taste it – yes, no covid.
A reader gave a slingshot to my youngest son a couple of weeks ago. He’s been getting pretty accurate with that thing and a well placed marble will put a hole right through a can.
First time I was arrested it was due to the shenanigans a slingshot can get you up to. Was 4th grade.
Next project can be a potato gun made from pvc pipe, BBQ fire starter (Piezo electric), V05 hairspray and potatoes. My nephew showed my son how to make one and the cops busted them during the trials and confiscated the gun as it was deemed a fire arm that used an explosive propellent which fired a projectile. Duh, I bet the cops had fun with it back in their crystal palace parking lot.
I built a very good pneumatic water balloon cannon with pvc pipe. The first time I shot it, it vaporized the balloon, so I fashioned a carrier, like a sabot, to cradle the balloon as it traveled thru the barrel.
That suckere sent water balloons around 700 feet…
I entertain the thought of using it to send cue balls to TeeVee stations affiliated with MSM.
Guy on my dorm floor had used firecrackers and a metal tube to lob tennis balls onto the roof of the neighborhood cat house.
Don’t forget the ammunition.
Can’t beat the old “Wrist Rocket”. I was friends with some twins who would get porcelain balls from their grandpa who worked at Coors porcelain plant. Those things could kill.
My hunting skills were honed with a Wrist Rocket slingshot back in 1967 squirrel hunting. Deadly.
when i get bored and want some target practice in the back yard, i will grab my (pre drilled) 3/4 inch plywood. that has holes just right size for 22 shells. place a few in the staggered holes and set the plywood 30 feet from my porch. ( i live on farm land and safe down shot so backing fire is ok. then i pull out the 1500 ft per second pellet gun and start testing the aim/range … you know when you hit one 🙂 i want to try it with 12 gauge shells, but wife draws the line at 22… 🙁
My advice is to keep your mouth shut and just play ball.
Ever since Disney’s Little Mermaid I’ve wondered if wanting to fuck a cartoon makes me a pervert.
Who Framed Roger Rabbit for me.
Yeah, Jessica Rabbit was the one for me!
The 1st edition of that on laser disk had an “indecent” shot of Jessica.
Bugs dressed as a woman did it for me. Now all cartoon rabbits give me a semi.
I’m tellin’ ya Bob, you can’t fuck a mermaid. They ain’t got no legs to spread.
Jessica Rabbit, on the other hand…
Only because she was 16 years old… and half fish!
Remember Nicole Simpson and Ron Goldman.
Don’t worry about people with IQs two or more standard deviations below yours calling you anything, especially if you are carrying a 6 shot Bulldog.
.
The climate didn’t change, but she sure did.
And here I thought she couldn’t possibly be uglier.
I knew she had a dark side.
Q: If Tarzan and Jane were black, what would Cheeta be?
A: The brains of the operation.
+10
Ya See!? Right there. That’s what global warming has done to that poor little white girl.
How dare you!!
I know Easter is over but there are still some chocolate bunnies left
?w=480&ssl=1
Which is why the scamdemic continues with no end in sight.
AI in the making
Affirmative Action Garbage Truck
Kinda makes you want to break the law, eh?
Brazil (patch on jacket). She is probably allowed to simply murder you if she wants. Gotta love latin america.
She was an enforcer in the favela but now she has a retirement plan.
It might be my Klingon upbringing, but it is a good day to die.
FUPA!!!
Wow, Suds, now you got me thinking dirty.
MeatyBeetyBigandBouncy
Kinda makes you want to bite her nipples, eh?
I thought you wanted to fuck a mermaid cartoon?
A f.f. nipple nip.
courtesy of JJ again.
Damn.
A crazy washer, I regress…
I think I’m psychic. I had a premonition I would see this a few moments ago.
Neat, usually when the lid comes opens the spin cycle stops.
Now THAT’S a vibrator!
Did someone toss shit in the fan?
Street design made by demoncrat technocrat.
Biden’s new infrastructure project……so we all have a way to get where he’s taking us….
I used to live about 7 miles from there. Those handles have heating wires for winter time.
It’s an analog McDonalds!
Designs by Escher
Democrat engineering.