I just finished a newly published book, “Beyond: How Humankind Thinks About Heaven“, by Catherine Wolff. In the chapters about Islam is the following quote;
“Each time we sleep with a houri we find her virgin. Besides, the penis of the Elected never softens. The erection is eternal; the sensation you feel each time you make love is utterly delicious and out of this world and were you to experience it in this world you would faint. Each chosen one will marry seventy houris, besides the women he married on earth, and all will have appetizing vaginas.”
———– Qur’anic scholar al-Suyuti
Now, I knew all about the 70 virgins. But, I did not know about Eternal Hard-ons! Nor did I realize heaven was full of Appetizing Vaginas! What a religion!!! I am this close to converting.
I just need further clarification-confirmation about those houri babes. There is heated debate about possible errors in translation. Scholar Christoph Luxenberg argues that certain words in the Qur’an are Syriac rather than Arabic. The word hur refers to white raisins, and what the blessed will receive is chilled raisins or drinks, in contrast to the damned, who will receive boiling drinks.
I just can not accept Allah (PBUH) as my personal Lord and Savior until this issue is settled. Because I know this for certain; if I have an Eternal Erection and the only thing I can do with it is share it with 70 fucken white raisins … somewhere around the ninth month I will start a fucken’ revolt in heaven that will make Lucifer blush with envy.
I really really hope this works out because those Houri Babes sound simply magnificent and awesome beyond words. Who wouldn’t want a women who doesn’t spit, menstruate, piss, or shit? And who has enormous tits that will never dangle?
“A Houri is a most beautiful young woman with a transparent body. The marrow of her bones is visible like the interior lines of pearls and rubies. She looks like red wine in a white glass. She is of white color and free from the normal physical disabilities of the women of this world such as menstruation, menopause, urine and waste, and child bearing and the related pollution. A Houri is a girl of tender age having large breasts that are round (pointed) and not inclined to dangle. Houris dwell in palaces of splendid surroundings.”
——– Hadith from At-Tirmithi
In closing, one final question to my MALE Buddies on TBP; any of you guys gonna join me?
THE END
Stucky,
Me thinks you just need to go get laid. Like now, not in paradise or whatever other Psyop BS that Mohammed described. Damn boy! It must have been awhile the way you write regarding the subject. 😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣🥴🥴
By the way there is an actual medical term for an ever lasting erection…Priapism. It’s not a good thing, hence the warning message to seek medical attention if you take Viagra and you have an erection that lasts more than three hours. To put it simply, your “unit”, will turn blue and fall off if it stays that way for too long. You don’t want to know how they go about draining and relieving the pressure. We’ll just say it’s very unpleasant and too graphic for here.
I thought it was 4 hours?
At 4hours you ring every woman you have ever slept with
You just saved me from getting on black market viagras one day for some laughs and more later if I can scrounge it haha. Thanks Doc! you can put the lance down now!
Well drat and such. I thought it would be more like this…
Yvonne Craig. Bat Girl, don’t ya know.
I was getting intrigued by the idea of 14 year old wives and the opportunities for head-lopping and tossing people off buildings. Then I found out that you’re supposed to marry your cousin. So it’s lost some of its appeal. Also, the whole going to hell part.
Pedophiles are good for one thing ….. being cut into teeny-tiny itty-bitty pieces and fed to the frogs and the fishes. Hope you get caught soon by some hardcore man that will do right by You … kill you real slow and throw what’s left of you in a nearby lake.
You can protest, “I was only joking” … but normal men don’t joke about shit like that.
The interesting fact is, if you have 70 virgins, you’ll always end up with 69. Or you won’t have 70 virgins anymore.
Maff is hawd.
Negative. Re-read the first line. The Houri are perpetual virgins. Perpetual virgins with appetizing vaginas and, one must imagine, perpetually perky and enormous tits.
I’m in, Stuck.
Hopefully not at the same time, or both of you might get Stuck.
Yet another reason to believe Mohammed was a sex addict.
Who comes up with this shit? Oh right…sex addicts. Or possibly an incel.
I’m quite surprised that more incels don’t join Islam…they would finally get laid in heaven after they blew themselves up. Sounds like a great trade off.
And really, seeing someone’s marrow doesn’t sound sexy at all. I generally am kind of repulsed by too much sweat. If I saw a guy’s marrow, I would run screaming and probably call 911 as this person might have a serious medical condition that needs to be attended to toot suite.
And what if you’re more of an ass man? I see zero mention of the ol’ badonkadonk.
What the hell does “red wine in a white glass” mean anyway? If the glass what white ceramic, then you probably wouldn’t see it anyway.
So to recap:
The perfect heaven chick is always a virgin, see-through, with visible marrow, doesn’t have any bodily functions at all. Sounds like a cooked-up sex doll to me.
And finally, where did you find that ridiculous picture? Who lounges in front of a belly dancer in full armor? That seems problematic in times of, ahem, swelling. Just saying.
Like being in a tin shed during a hail storm…?
That eternity of continuous turgidity was teens-twenties, wasn’t it?* In a perfect time machine scenario I could go back to that youthful health & vitality *without* the continuous compulsion to achieve refractory periods of rest.
Being sex-driven isn’t about the passenger. It’s about the assembly line that seeks to fill the land with daily drivers. Ma Nature uses its demolition derby vehicles to keep the race going; she doesn’t care about any of them. The Expendables, by Sly. (How old will Stallone be when he makes his last geriaction flick, I wonder.)
Heaven ain’t land & nobody needs a monkey-on-back chauffeur there. Hell, otoh….
*There’s old racers & there’s bold racers but there ain’t no old bold racers. But there is Matrix dwelling blue pill gobblers inhabiting other turgid “realities” that warn not: for erections lasting your entire life, well, you are screwed.
Sorry to tell you Stuck but Islamic scholars have proven that there was a mistake in the writings of Mohammad . It seems for doing fucked up stuff in the name of Islam gets you 70 vermin for eternity…not virgins .
For the rest of the believers it’s an unlimited supply of beautiful goats and sheep for their pleasure .
It was 72 VIRGINIANS !!
Or, maybe, these kind of virgins …
THAT is why I missed you last week, Stucky.
Not just any virgins, but ‘appetizing’ virgins. I’m in. After all the enemy of my enemy is my friend.
No. Look at the photo of that HURI(?). Her arm looks strong enough to rip your dick off. Btw, what do you need sex for at your age?
Every religion spends more on marketing than on substance.
Bet there are plenty o virgins on college campuses wearing BLM or ANTIFA attire.
Whatever it is, it’s not what most people think. I leave it to the by and by.
Forget all the religions that claim the one true faith path to GOD , ENLIGHTENMENT , NIRVANA or ETERNAL BLISS !
When you meet groups like that RUN LIKE HELL !
There are many paths to GOD may your journey not be so difficult .
Do well and right by your fellow men and women . Distance yourself from the evils and those who perpetrate them .
Tuff Duty especially since all the evil bags of human shit seem to be in control so at least make the effort so you can look in the mirror
The divine is all that there ever is or ever will be. How you realize that and connect with that reality is an individual.
Oh, come with old Khayyam, and leave the Wise
To talk; one thing is certain, that Life flies;
One thing is certain, and the Rest is Lies;
The Flower that once has blown for ever dies.
There is no God but Allah, my brother, and Mohammed is his only Prophet. We shall all eat lamb in Paradise, and dine beneath the crescent moon! Let us fight. Let us kill. Let us drive this Luciferian scum back across Jordan.
I’ll trade you three camels, this Moroccan lamp, and two Persian rugs for your green-eyed blonde with the heart-shaped ass…
Insh’allah
I’ve always said Islam was for emotionally stunted teenagers and perpetually angry people.
Looks like I was right.
No wine, no beer, no bacon.
No way.
You forgot no whiskey…there FIFY
I’m angry, but I ain’t that angry.
Islam is like what Charles Manson’s religion would have turned out to be – if Charles Manson had been about 10,000 times more evil than he really was. Piss be upon him.
no bacon, well fuck that!
Jesus, nuff said.
Seventy Women … Putting up with one is hard.. Seventy sounds like Hell
I will most defiantly pass on even the conversation rabble.
Just the thought makes me want to crawl into a dark space.
Just to make a comparison, Ludendorff said “I decline Christianity because it is Jewish, because it is international, and because, in cowardly fashion, it preaches Peace on Earth.”
Islam is about the same, call it 2.5 out of 3, except their peace on earth is the peace of the entire world submitting.
I’m cool with their stance on women and jihadding and fanaticism and the rest.
Which pre-christian white views did Wolff mention?