FRIDAY FAIL

The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly is a classic film and a fair description of what lies within the human soul. Well the Good abandoned the Democrats when the CIA took out Kennedy, and the Stupid took up the vacancy. Since the Bad, the Ugly, and the Stupid took over the country, a slow decline has become a swirling mess heading down the sewer.

This week’s Friday Failure of the Week goes to the evil oligarchs pulling the strings of the senile puppet in the White House for their single most outrageous policy proposal yet—and this is the gang that already brought us vaccine mandates, trillion-dollar handouts to useless bums and greedy bankers and multinationals, the Afghan withdrawal debacle, a crashing economy, spiraling inflation, the hopelessly tangled supply chain, two million more illegal aliens that we know of . . . It never stops. Now the bankrupt brain trust of the Bad, the Ugly, and the Stupid is considering payments of $450,000 per child to illegal immigrant families separated during the Trump administration. That’s right: commit a felony and get close to half a million bucks per kid for your trouble! This is so outrageous one has to wonder if it’s just a joke to piss off thinking people (who never vote Democrat) or a bone to divert the attention of disappointed progressives who are whinging about their BBB bullshit being cut back to only $1,750,000,000,000 when they needed twice that to turn us into Venezuela as fast as possible. They’re too stupid to calculate that this policy would cost but $1 billion, so maybe the diversion might satisfy some of them.

But the problem isn’t the billion dollars, is it? The problem is rewarding criminality. The problem is incentivizing future criminality. As any right-thinking person knows, the Achilles’ Heel of leftists is their inability to understand the concept of incentives at any fundamental level. Their concept is either entirely superficial–“If you’ll take our needle that has an unknown chance of killing you or maiming you for life, we’ll give you this donut with pretty sprinkles”—or brazenly threatening; “If you’ll take our needle, we’ll let you keep your job.” They would never clue in that floating the idea of almost half a million Yankee bucks for each kid will attract the other half of Central and South America to the USA. “Huh; free food, free medicare, free public housing, free welfare every month at the expense of gringo, and now a baby bonus of half a million bucks! USA, here we come!” They’ll kidnap any kid they see on the way here and screw each other on the way here to have more half-million dollar babies. The proposal also incentivizes lawsuits from past illegal aliens. “Hey, you arrested me before releasing me, and that was humiliating. You owe me a million bucks.” Or, “You deported me back to Haiti. That’s cruel and unusual punishment. You owe me five mill.” Or, “You didn’t arrest me, and I didn’t get no half mill per kid. That’s not fair. You owe me, too!”

If I mentally lobotomize myself to disable any rational thought, I can sort of see the leftist mindset. I mean, what better way to turn America into the next Venezuela than to import all of Venezuela? But that would imply they understand incentives, which is not the case, so I’m at a loss to explain such abysmal stupidity.

Anyway, while we await with aghast breath the next lunacy to ooze out of Washington, let us bestow the coveted Friday Failure of the Week accolade upon the malefactors behind the proposal to pay people handsomely for breaking the law, and let’s celebrate less aggravating and more risible everyday stupidity here on Friday Fail.