FRIDAY FAIL

The highlight of Brandon’s press conference was his quote, “Can you think of any other president that has done as much in one year?” I was tempted to award him FF of the Week just for this, but then I thought he had a point. What other president has so spectacularly failed on so many fronts as Brandon—lost war, lost border, lost standard of living, lost lives in the pandemic, lost supply chains, lost productivity, lost trust in all the country’s major institutions, lost sense of nation, lost mind? He of feeble intellect did more in one year than any other president did in four years. That it was all bad doesn’t change the truth of his statement. Since he broke with all precedent and told the truth, however, I can’t justify such an important accolade as FF of the Week. As a consolation, however, for showering with his daughter, I signed him up as the star inductee in the Order of Incestuous Perverts. I also got him a box of Pampers for the next time he shits himself in august company, which, if you ask me, is a rather unpresidential thing to do.

As for FF of the Week, what about the appallingly evil bag lappers behind the entire covid charade? They haven’t told any truths I know of, and they appear to be failing spectacularly on their plan to bring us all to our knees. As we all know by now the narrative supporting all the covid lies is finally cracking. It took a spectacular amount of failure to penetrate the thick skulls of the covidiots who’ve believed everything they were told—though many of them who have nothing but skull still believe—and spectacular failure is what they’ve achieved. In short, their lies have become so obvious and so ridiculous that even the fabulously stupid (AKA leftsists) are starting to question.

The delicious irony is that the most essential ingredient of the failing narrative is the covid virus itself. To give credit where it’s due, omicron was a brilliant scientific breakthrough in certain respects. For one thing, it can tell time. The Quebec government has learned that it lurks in the shadows ready to attack any unsuspecting fool who wanders outside between 10 PM and 5 AM; it hibernates during the day. For another, it knows where it is geographically. It’ll attack you in New York but not in Florida. It’ll get you in Denmark but not Belarus. It can also sense movement. If you are sitting still at a restaurant, you’re fine, but if you get up and walk, you’re fucked. It even reacts differently to medical intervention, according to government policy. Ivermectin subdues it in India and Japan, but not in the US, Canada, or Australia. HCQ annihilates it in Africa, but not in Europe or America. Masks work against it in Canada and blue states but not in red states; they worked in Britain till yesterday but not today, so omicron can even read a calendar!

On the other hand omicron has been a dismal failure in the most critical respect. It has so thoroughly failed at sickening and killing people that the sleeping masses are opening their eyes and beginning to think they can have their lives back. Their level of fear has fallen to such an extent that people are refusing to get their next booster; unheard of! Others are beginning to give credence to the so-called anti-vaxxers because omicron seems to love the vaccine; the more shots people get the greater omicron’s affinity. Worse for the oligarchs, certain jurisdictions like Ontario, Alberta, Denmark, and the UK are releasing actual statistics. This was not supposed to happen after what they paid their politicians. “We had a schedule for our poisonous vaccine lots, dammit! Killer batches were to be released at our direction, carefully spread out so the sheep wouldn’t catch on. If the virus has a mind of its own and targets people who weren’t meant to be targeted, we could lose control. The narrative is shaky at present, and if the narrative goes, so do we,” Klaus Schwab would have said if he were able to tell the truth.

“Therefore,” Gates—yes, the one who’s always sporting a phony smile that you just want to jam your fist into—added in my imagination, “unless, we want our heads used as a soccer ball or urinal by angry people who’ve discovered what we’ve done to them, it is imperative we recapture the narrative!” Then some dickless, annoying runt—you know, the mass murderer who changes his covid orders on a daily basis and throws like a retarded girl—chimed in, “I say we go with the narrative that omicron is relatively harmless and grant the useless eaters a bit of their freedom back for the time being while we prepare for the next virus, which ideally would be a real killer. This is not a given since our ability to design a new virus undetected has been imperiled by assholes who think they have the right to broadcast the truth; getting funding to our Chinese partners is risky nowadays. Moreover, nature is screwing with our designs, attenuating the virulence as it mutates, as omicron has demonstrated.” Finally, I have it on bad authority (mine) that the Rockefellers and Rothschilds said, “Since we control MSM and social media, we’ll seize back control of the narrative so people shit themselves when they hear the next virus’s name, even if it’s harmless.” Suggested names for the next covid variant are Xi, Fauci, and (my personal favourite) Mr. Bubbles.”

Congratulations, horrifically evil oligarchs behind this whole calamity, you win Friday Fail of the Week. Not only do you win this coveted accolade, we’re throwing in an intervention with the works of you to point out the error of your ways. To wit: you sit in a circle, and we chastise you for your crimes, indicate how you can improve, then hack you to death with ice picks. And that’s not all. Once in your new home Hades, along with an eternity of agonizing fire, you’ll be treated to never-ending torture with Yoko singing, Biden speechifying, Harris cackling, Pelosi stripping, Trudeau philosophizing, Greta whining, and Fauci admonishing.

For those of us who’ve been right all along (because we read the truth on sites like TBP), there is finally light at the end of this long, dark tunnel, and when they try their next gambit we’ll be there to scream, “Fuck off!” on behalf of a human race (Homo sheepians) that doesn’t deserve us. Enjoy Friday Fail!