False advertising is a stain on the fabric of our society. In order to thoroughly bleach this fabric and make it soft with extra fabric softener, we have assembled honest company slogans that we now demand all businesses to switch to.
NO EXCEPTIONS! Continue reading “The Babylon Bee Presents: Honest Company Slogans”
BEAVERTON, OR—After carefully listening to feedback from a growing chorus of three of their customers, Nike is making some long-awaited improvements to their 2022 women’s swimwear line. Nike’s new “Performance Series” of one-piece competitive women’s swimsuits will feature extra room in the crotch for male genitalia.
Continue reading “NIKE Releases New Women’s Swimsuit With Extra Space For Male Genitalia”
Yesterday we brought you nine signs you’re watching too much CNN. Lest you say we’re not fair and balanced, we consulted the experts and compiled these nine symptoms of watching too much Fox News:
1. You give your wife the “Tucker Carlson” look while she’s talking. If you’ve ever gotten in trouble for staring at your wife with Carlson’s patented Resting Baffled Face™, you might be watching too much Fox News.
Continue reading “9 Signs You’re Watching Too Much Fox News”
