False advertising is a stain on the fabric of our society. In order to thoroughly bleach this fabric and make it soft with extra fabric softener, we have assembled honest company slogans that we now demand all businesses to switch to.
NO EXCEPTIONS!
Nike: Slavery: just do it.
Walmart: We clean the bathrooms sometimes!
Doritos: Better go ahead and buy two bags, fatty.
Applebee’s: Eatin’ Food In A Place.
Subway: Eat…something?!
United Airlines: We just said the skies are friendly. We made no promises about what happens inside the plane.
Spirit Airlines: You’re poor, aren’t you?
The American Federation Of Teachers: We care. About ourselves.
Google: Don’t Be Evil.
Twitter: Now 9.2% less evil!
Facebook: Hey guys come back! Please?
Nintendo: What is an Internet?
Microsoft: You hate us but have to use us anyway! lolol
T-Mobile: The sound of silence.
Coca-Cola: Share a Coke with…your endocrinologist, because you now have diabetes.
Taco Bell: We’re cheaper than Ex-Lax.
Amazon: Shut up and buy it, you mindless consumer.
BlackRock: Ash nazg thrakatulûk, agh burzum-ishi krimpatul.
Home Depot: If you need to ask for help, you don’t deserve it.
Panera: Your Bible study wouldn’t be complete without some overpriced microwave food!
Disney: Weeee’lll convert your childreeeeen!
It is my sincere desire to provide readers of this site with the best unbiased information available, and a forum where it can be discussed openly, as our Founders intended. But it is not easy nor inexpensive to do so, especially when those who wish to prevent us from making the truth known, attack us without mercy on all fronts on a daily basis. So each time you visit the site, I would ask that you consider the value that you receive and have received from The Burning Platform and the community of which you are a vital part. I can't do it all alone, and I need your help and support to keep it alive. Please consider contributing an amount commensurate to the value that you receive from this site and community, or even by becoming a sustaining supporter through periodic contributions. [Burning Platform LLC - PO Box 1520 Kulpsville, PA 19443] or Paypal
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BlackRock made me laugh.
Nike: “Just do it with yourself”
Government: If you have to ask you can’t afford us.
Hollywood: We keep telling you that we practice majick.
Target: It’s on you
HomeDepot: If you need help, there is an army of beaners in the parking lot to rush your truck.
China Star: NO WE NO SEE CAT. NO MORE CALL.
I think it would have been funnier if it said If you need to ask for help, you shouldn’t be here.
The United States Postal Service: Service is our last name.