Exceptionalism Sagging? American Penises Are Only 59th Biggest In World

If Dick Levine can identify as a woman, I can identify as an Ecuadorian. I didn’t realize Stucky was Cambodian. Years ago a post about naming your penis went viral and had the highest views on TBP for over a year.

Via ZeroHedge

American exceptionalism has led US citizens to believe they’re inherently different than the rest of the world. They presume they’re the best in everything, but this has proven not to be the case over time. The latest example is penis size. This might be traumatizing for some American males, but the US ranks near the bottom of the list in average penis size.

According to The Sun, citing a new study, Americans have an average erect penis size of 5.35 inches and is shorter than their Ecuadorian, Haitians, French, Germany, Australian, Spanish, and even Indian counterparts. Not too far off from Japanese males at 5.34 inches.

Online pharmacy From Mars developed a new poll from 86 nations and found the US ranked 59th. The largest were Ecuadorians, coming in at a staggering 6.93-inch average erect length. The smallest was Cambodians at just 3.95 inches.

Pharmacist and spokesman Navin Khosla said, “most have wondered at some time or other if their penis is big enough.”

“Penis size can have a massive impact on confidence and self-image,” Khosla said. 

With that in mind, Americans learning their penis size might not be the largest globally could be demoralizing. Being ranked so low on the list, only 1/5 of an inch larger than China’s average, is shocking.

And it appears the term “big swinging dick,” popularized by the book Liar’s Poker, which describes Michael Lewis’ experience as a bond trader on Wall Street in the 1980s, isn’t the case for American males, but rather Ecuadorians. Who would’ve ever thought?

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68 Comments
Brewer55
Brewer55
April 23, 2022 12:06 pm

I guess after Johnny Wad’s death, it’s all gone downhill for ‘merica! (In more than just the “Johnson” dept!)

hardscrabble farmer
hardscrabble farmer
April 23, 2022 12:12 pm

Speak for yourself.

Colorado Artist
Colorado Artist
  hardscrabble farmer
April 23, 2022 3:11 pm

Mexicans have small chorizos, along with all Central Americans.
Considering there are about 40 million of them here illegally,
that will bring the average choad length down considerably.
We also have millions of Cambodians, Taiwanese and Vietnamese
here too wrecking the “curve.”

GDP, usually gruntled
GDP, usually gruntled
  hardscrabble farmer
April 23, 2022 5:44 pm

Here we go!………………

Colorado Artist
Colorado Artist
  GDP, usually gruntled
April 23, 2022 5:55 pm

Here we COME!!!……..

Ghost
Ghost
April 23, 2022 12:28 pm

Did little dick Fauci pay for this study too?

Red River D
Red River D
April 23, 2022 12:30 pm

Everything’s bigger in Texas.

Abigail Adams
Abigail Adams
  Red River D
April 23, 2022 12:32 pm

😂🤣 Perfect response.

Colorado Artist
Colorado Artist
  Abigail Adams
April 23, 2022 6:45 pm

I’m renaming my pants, “Texas”

Abigail Adams
Abigail Adams
April 23, 2022 12:38 pm

Stupid article. Just another attempt at demoralizing & emasculating what’s left of our men.

brian
brian
  Abigail Adams
April 23, 2022 12:43 pm
Anthony Aaron
Anthony Aaron
  Abigail Adams
April 23, 2022 1:16 pm

… as if we need more demoralizing and emasculating than we’ve already had for the past several decades …

😉

Abigail Adams
Abigail Adams
  Anthony Aaron
April 23, 2022 1:19 pm

I know. I know. SMH. And, who downvoted that?? Is there a fag lurking around here??

Colorado Artist
Colorado Artist
  Abigail Adams
April 23, 2022 5:59 pm

More than one judging by “The Karen” voters.

The Boogie Man
The Boogie Man
April 23, 2022 12:41 pm

Hmmm, I wonder what’s wrong with the western world.. Hmmm, let me see. Degenerate much!

The Boogie Man
The Boogie Man
  The Boogie Man
April 23, 2022 1:31 pm

Wait though, they must be measuring from the ground up.

Southerh Sage
Southerh Sage
April 23, 2022 12:58 pm

Ha! I lived in Ecuador! Divide that claim by 2 and you might be right.

Southern Sage
Southern Sage
April 23, 2022 1:00 pm

Ha! I lived in Ecuador. 4 foot five Indians with giant slongs? Right…,

motley
motley
April 23, 2022 1:20 pm

Thank you for this. Am I ever feeling good about myself today!

Abigail Adams
Abigail Adams
  motley
April 23, 2022 1:21 pm

The goal.

motley
motley
  Abigail Adams
April 23, 2022 1:51 pm

Nah. Just making a joke.

Abigail Adams
Abigail Adams
  motley
April 23, 2022 2:02 pm

Gotcha. 😉

MTD
MTD
April 23, 2022 1:34 pm

Sounds like Ecuadorians are prone to telling tall tales.

Stucky
Stucky
April 23, 2022 1:44 pm

Ummm, Admin …. the Irish aren’t much better endowed than Cambodians. Besides, length doesn’t matter … girth does. A 12 inch Straw Dick ain’t doin’ anybody any good. But, 3.95 inches by 5. 25 inches? Pure gold!

motley
motley
  Stucky
April 23, 2022 1:51 pm

How much time did you serve?

Llpoh
Llpoh
  Administrator
April 23, 2022 6:17 pm

As I just posted, the reason the US averages fell was because I left. Oz used to be ranked last til I showed up.

Not a ruler. A yardstick is what is used.

Colorado Artist
Colorado Artist
  Llpoh
April 23, 2022 7:17 pm

I need a surveyor’s laser range finder….

Miles Long
Miles Long
  Colorado Artist
April 25, 2022 12:36 am

Pikers.

Svarga Loka
Svarga Loka
  Stucky
April 23, 2022 3:30 pm

I’ll take it in gold instead any day.

Iska Waran
Iska Waran
  Stucky
April 23, 2022 4:49 pm

That’d be an odd boast to a table of women: “I got a dick like a can of tuna”.

Colorado Artist
Colorado Artist
  Iska Waran
April 23, 2022 6:01 pm

“Hung like an elevator button.”

Anonymous
Anonymous
April 23, 2022 1:53 pm

Is there actually someone traveling the world with a ruler and asking men to pull down their pants?

Stucky
Stucky
  Anonymous
April 23, 2022 1:59 pm

Measurements were done by airport TSA agents worldwide.

Anonymous
Anonymous
  Stucky
April 23, 2022 11:00 pm

Ackshually, having big junk while travelling led to getting groped by black TSA women almost every time I flew. And a few black dudes *shudder*

MrLiberty
MrLiberty
  Anonymous
April 23, 2022 3:26 pm

Isn’t that the job of our “vice-president?”

Ken31
Ken31
  Anonymous
April 23, 2022 8:21 pm

I thought it was too obvious to bother asking.

Arizona Bay
Arizona Bay
  Anonymous
April 23, 2022 9:07 pm

VP Harris?

Anonymous
Anonymous
  Anonymous
April 24, 2022 1:26 am

I think that was Epstein’s job.

Anonymous
Anonymous
April 23, 2022 2:00 pm

I’m not taking the time to consult a map, but kinda looks like climate/evolution may play a role?

Colder climes=smaller willie.

Maybe Seinfeld was on to something.

Anonymous
Anonymous
  Anonymous
April 23, 2022 2:14 pm

“The poll”
“Online pharmacy From Mars analyzed Google data from 86 countries to come up with the findings.”

It’s not real. There have been actual studies done, Northern Europeans had largest, Asians smallest, both have cold climate.

MrLiberty
MrLiberty
April 23, 2022 2:30 pm

Not even possible. I’ve watched CSPAN, the mainstream media, and have traveled all over this country. We absolutely have some of the biggest dicks on the planet living here in the US.

Anonymous
Anonymous
  MrLiberty
April 23, 2022 3:14 pm

ha, my thought too–this survey can’t be accurate because we have 1000s of huge dicks living in the Wash DC area

Anonymous
Anonymous
April 23, 2022 2:41 pm

No stats from the African American group. Hmmm.
Maybe they couldn’t read the questions.
Maybe a Mamba hardon was preoccupying their mind.

Hell, let’s just redirect from here, and go on a different tangent.
Ever compare wimenz breast sizes to fruits or veggies?
It can give a good visual in lieu of having a picture, or staring, whilst describing.

Plums: A cup
Oranges: B cup
small grapefruits: C cup
large grapefruits: D cup
Canteloupes: DD cup
Round watermelons: DDD cup
Fried eggs: coffee saucer
Of course, none of these are bad, but perked on high beams merits extra attention.

Now, firm and pert rules the day, (night?), akin to a hard man being good to find.

But one has to consider the sag factor here, too, Droopy.
I’ve seen some breasts so low, they oughtta be called knees.

That goes for older males, too, by the way.
Some men are just hung like a light switch,
where off or on position just doesn’t matter. All the girls giggle.

Her: “Do you want me to guide you in?”
Him: “No need. I’m spent already. Got stiff when I saw you take your undies off,
and delivered the goods when I was taking off mine.”

Laughter, the Best Medicine.

Colorado Artist
Colorado Artist
  Anonymous
April 23, 2022 6:48 pm

All I know is that my toilet water is cold as a witch’s tit…..

Tom Cullen
Tom Cullen
  Colorado Artist
April 23, 2022 6:53 pm

Growing older, I’ve noticed this.

Colorado Artist
Colorado Artist
  Tom Cullen
April 23, 2022 6:54 pm

LOLLL!

Anonymous
Anonymous
  Colorado Artist
April 23, 2022 8:42 pm

& deep, too, hmm?
You crack me up, CA.
Well done on FF yesterday, too, BTW.

Zulu Foxtrot Golf
Zulu Foxtrot Golf
April 23, 2022 5:19 pm

If my dick is only 5.35 inches long then, to paraphrase Sam Kinnison, they wont mind me shoving up their asses.

Free Mr. WINKIE and stick it in their stinkies.

Fucken retarded article and that study is classic psyops ala CIA style.

Keep on truckin you psyops amatuers. Odin shall give us strength and we shall banish you as he did the frost giants.

I daudvena slynge meg.

ZFG, out.

P.S. go in dry. They deserve it.

YourAverageJoe
YourAverageJoe
April 23, 2022 5:58 pm

It’s funny how if you use the word “Penis” in a comment on ZeroHedge, is censorship black box pops up to warn you to reconsider what you’re posting.

ZH has only banned me a mere four times.

Llpoh
Llpoh
  YourAverageJoe
April 23, 2022 6:18 pm

You ain’t trying hard enough.

Colorado Artist
Colorado Artist
  Llpoh
April 23, 2022 6:50 pm

No shit, Joe. You need to up your game.
Amateur. 😉

falconflight
falconflight
  YourAverageJoe
April 23, 2022 9:39 pm

Me only twice…won’t be back. Breitbart is more tolerant that ZH at this point.

Llpoh
Llpoh
April 23, 2022 6:15 pm

When I left the ranking plummeted.

Colorado Artist
Colorado Artist
  Llpoh
April 23, 2022 6:52 pm

My dick is so big it has an elbow.

Let the games begin!!!

Colorado Artist
Colorado Artist
  Colorado Artist
April 23, 2022 7:08 pm

My dick is so big it has it’s own ZIP code.

Colorado Artist
Colorado Artist
  Colorado Artist
April 23, 2022 7:08 pm

My dick is so big it has it’s own domain name:
MyDick.dick.

Colorado Artist
Colorado Artist
  Colorado Artist
April 23, 2022 7:11 pm

My dick is so big it won’t take Elon Musk’s calls.

Colorado Artist
Colorado Artist
  Colorado Artist
April 23, 2022 7:13 pm

C’mon people. You are funny.
Let’s add to this mayhem!

Anonymous
Anonymous
  Colorado Artist
April 23, 2022 8:11 pm

Heard that Stuck beats his dick like it owes him money.

Suds
Suds
  Anonymous
April 23, 2022 8:50 pm
motley
motley
  Anonymous
April 23, 2022 9:05 pm

laughed. out. loud!!!!!!

falconflight
falconflight
  Anonymous
April 23, 2022 9:40 pm

Funny as hell…

falconflight
falconflight
  Anonymous
April 23, 2022 9:41 pm

Read it again…hard not to laugh.

TN Patriot
TN Patriot
April 23, 2022 8:30 pm

So how do you define “American male”?

We have taken in the dregs of the world since Sen. Chappaquidik got the immigration laws changed. Since the corrupt, creepy old pedophile moved to 1600 PA Ave, we have been taking in 300k illegals every month on top of the 100+k legals.

rhs jr
rhs jr
April 23, 2022 10:43 pm

My first wife (ref Hoseas’ wife Gomer) decided to conduct this study personally and told me another Officer she seduced had a very very tiny dick, another a long pencil dick, another 10, another 12, etc. She divorced me to devote full time to her Happy Hooker research. Going back to HS, I was a fair athlete and always in 6th period gym but I hated taking showers because I am average but damn the showoff football jocks who taunted me; inside I knew I was smarter than any three combined. I knew a nurse who peeked under the sheet of a huge jock and was surprised to see a tiny penis. My roommate Ray B. took Carol into the bedroom and she screamed “You’re not putting all that in me!”; he was 12. I was outside a bar in Plattsmouth Ne when a couple walked out and she said let me see it; he said right here; she said yes; he took it out and she said you’ll do and they left. Another roommate Keith M. had women waiting their turn most of the time; he flunked out of FSU his first year; good looks and a big dick can be a curse.

Anonymous
Anonymous
  rhs jr
April 23, 2022 11:03 pm

“another 10, another 12”
women can’t measure

drewtho
drewtho
April 24, 2022 9:38 am

….I am just curious how they went about measuring erect penises in sufficient numbers to calculate an average. Never been aware of any surveys where men were presenting their erect members for statistical measurement. I can’t imagine how such circumstances would induce the organ to stand proud and tall. I am sure an alluring and naked female taking the measurement would push out a couple extra wrinkles. Maybe this was the tactic in Ecuador, whereas in the USA it might have been someone who looked more like Hillary Clinton. Just saying.