SAN FERNANDO, CA—A lifeguard at the San Fernando Community Pool reportedly refused to jump in and save a drowning child who was fighting for his life in 6 feet of water because it would constitute risking his life. The lifeguard in question, Peter Stroll, claimed to be following standard lifeguarding procedure.
“Are you kidding? I can’t save you right now. I might drown!” said Stroll as he picked up the phone to call for help. “According to the procedure, I will block all access to the pool and call for highly trained Coast Guard rescue divers to arrive.”
The child’s father attempted to jump into the pool and save his kid but was prevented by the determined lifeguard.
“Sir, I can’t let you risk your own life. Let me do my job!” Stroll reportedly said in between whistle blows.
“Then do your job! Save him!” pleaded the parent.
“Sir, please. It’s a liability for me to risk my life. Do you know how much the city would have to pay my family? Hundreds of dollars!”
The child was eventually rescued when a group of parents overpowered the masculine lifeguard and braved the dangerous chlorinated waters. Authorities arrived on the scene shortly after to assess the child’s health and arrest everyone who tried to save the child.
“This is a pool of law and order!” Sheriff Witherdrew told reporters at the scene. “We can’t just have people bypassing our sacred lifeguard institutions to take rescues into their own hands. Millions could be saved! It’d be total anarchy!”
At publishing time, lifeguard Peter Stroll was awarded a key to the city by Mayor Rankowicz for extreme bravery in following procedure to keep the city free of liability.
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The Bee pretty much sums up the stomach turning news. Honestly, the FBI school shooting setup ‘conspiracy fact’ was the last one for me to accept. Vox Day on Gab has a great quote for these events. Even if it is not applicable all the time, it should roast those Wokesters. “The only way for the U.S. federal government to prevent school shootings from happening is to pass a law preventing federal agencies from staging them”
Sheriff Witherdrew told reporters at the scene….”Additionally, he could have gotten wet”.
Just read that the highest paid lifeguard on the L.A. beaches made $510k in 2020. How crazy is that?
Cowards who serve in public safety should be weeded out and sent packing. You don’t want the risk taking a bullet to save a classroom full of 8 years olds? Then go sell insurance. You’re not fit to be a cop.
Better yet go shovel shitte in Louisiana
An extremely ACCURATE Analogy on the part of the Babylon Bee! Seriously, I have not yet heard one as Good.
Though my own analogy, of fire fighters, fearful of getting killed, refusing to enter a burning home to rescue trapped children, may be somewhat accurate. Though it surely lacks the satirical but highly accurate analogy presented here!
It’s as if they know just where the conflagration started, and just how much accelerant has yet to ignite.
Lest we forget, this is nothing new. Remember the Virginia Tech massacre.? Swat teams in Darth Vader Cos-Play waiting behind cover till the shooting stopped. Ditto The Parkland School shooting?
Most egregious of all, The “mainly peaceful” riots during the 2020 Summer of Love. Cops obeyed ILLEGAL stand down orders as ANTIFA / BLM Maimed,Firebombed and MURDERED innocent civilians and destroyed their property.
What allows me to claim these orders are illegal? Every Cop swears to protect, defend and preserve the Constitution. The 5th amendment (yea that one, in all the Hollywood Mafia movies) ENDS with “No one shall be deprived of Life, Liberty nor property with out Due Process OF LAW” ANTIFA / BLM’s behavior does NOT meet the definition of ” due process of law”.
HENCE stand down orders allow COWARDLY cops to NOT preserve the 5th Amend.
Perhaps their shabby Public School education (indoctrination) failed to teach them That “I was following orders” saved NO one from the Gallows, in the 1947 Nuremberg Trials.
Saw the first news conference by the police chief. You could tell he was ass covering . Incompetent liar. when seconds count the police are only minutes away. I’ll protect myself thanks. FJB
Makes almost as much sense as what went on in Uvalde. I would like to see every LEO that sat on their asses charged with depraved heart murder and if I have as a parent of one who died, I would already have the lawsuit against the cops filed, naming each one individually and starting with the MIA school resource officer.
The paramilitary COWARDS, standing around, cowering in fear, shitting their pants, protecting their almighty pensions, need to be administratively stripped of their guns and badges; decertified as sworn law enforcement officers; arrested and charged with being accessories to murder, dereliction of duty and tried for the criminals they are suspected to be. After given complete due process of law, if convicted, sent to prison for a fucking good long time.
TN the same thing happen at the Bataclan (130 dead) in Nov 2015. A group of GIGN (a special forces kind of Gendarme) arrive at the Bataclan and some high ranking cop forbid them to enter. They tried to disobey but the thread of being fired and court-martialed got the best of them. They stood down.
https://nypost.com/2016/07/15/horrifying-details-of-the-bataclan-theatre-massacre-revealed/
Interesting development in Texas. ABC News even….
Uvalde police, school district no longer cooperating with Texas probe of shooting: Sources
The Uvalde Police Department and the Uvalde Independent School District police force are no longer cooperating with the Texas Department of Public Safety’s investigation into the massacre at Robb Elementary School and the state’s review of the law enforcement response, multiple law enforcement sources tell ABC News…
According to sources, the decision to stop cooperating occurred soon after the director of DPS, Col. Steven McCraw, held a news conference Friday during which he said the delayed police entry into the classroom was “the wrong decision” and contrary to protocol.
https://abcnews.go.com/US/uvalde-police-school-district-longer-cooperating-texas-probe/story?id=85093405
Prolly acting on advice from their lawyers. There are going to be some big lawsuits, but I doubt any prosecutions will come from their lack of action.
To protect and to serve.
To serve the politicians and to protect the pension.