Everyone Is Laughing at the Ridiculous Pelosi Big Lie

Guest Post by Kurt Schlichter

How dare you reject the Official Approved Narrative™ parroted by the regime media about the weird Schiff that went down at Casa de Pelosi the other night. There’s only one possible explanation, according to experts, licensed journalists, and our betters – an underwear-clad MAGA assassin from a hippie commune in Berkeley who is best known for his nudist activism broke into the oddly unguarded mansion of the Speaker of the House, a wealthy woman who has her police force and has not been shy about expounding on the perilous peril she faces from murderous insurrectionists, carrying a hammer and encountered the wide-awake Paul Pelosi, also in his skivvies, who the intruder then let go off and call the cops wherein Mr. Pelosi referred to the guy as his friend.

Look, it’s pretty clear that this was just one more Trump-inspired attack on Our Democracy, and to fail to accept this wholeheartedly is to be a conspiracy theorist who is blaming the victim and doing Putin’s bidding. It’s also racist.

That’s certainly one way to look at it. Perhaps a guy walking through San Francisco in his Fruit of the Looms with a hammer in his hand at 2 a.m. might not draw a lot of attention, but a lot of things don’t quite add up. Hey, I don’t know about you, but I have a few questions, some of which could be quickly answered with a House oversight committee deposing Paul Pelosi once he recovers and, just to be sure, sending a subpoena to Grindr. 

An official investigation? Yes, please! This is a serious matter, we’re told. After all, the regime media and Democrats such as Ilhan Omar are out there making charges like “A far-right white nationalist tried to assassinate the Speaker of the House and almost killed her husband a year after violent insurrectionists tried to find her and kill her in the Capitol, and the Republican Party’s response is to either ignore it or belittle it.” Heck, Our Democracy is at stake, so the incoming Republican majority must get to the bottom of this alleged act of political violence.

I somehow think the Democrats will be reluctant to help, though Speaker McCarthy should not let any Democrats on the panel in the first place as payback for the 1/6 kangaroo committee. But why not investigate? These are serious charges, albeit from unserious people. Omar, a commie ingrate whose stupidity is exceeded only by her dishonesty, could not resist trying to leverage some cheap advantage from this grody scenario, but she should have passed on strategic if not moral grounds. By trying to place the blame for this on us, she triggered the Streisand Effect just when Democrats least needed to be associated with even more weird nonsense than they are already. Blaming Republicans for what appears to many people to be a sex tryst gone sour guarantees the wrongly accused – us – are going to hammer the Democrats unmercifully about it.

This whole miscalculation is a manifestation of the problems that come from being trapped in a blue echo chamber. The reality of the red wave is sort of seeping in, upsetting the progs, and then this happens and suddenly they all decide that a smart idea is to paint this as proof that the Republicans are trying to murder them. And everyone around them agrees that this is a super-smart take that will change their ballot box fortunes, not realizing that normal people are going to hear the story of two brief-clad dudes late at night and think “Yeah, no.”

The smart play would have been to say nothing, to pass it off as some random transient breaking into the Pelosi pad. Heck, a lot of people would buy that even if the lack of security seemed odd. And then you move on to other things and this gets forgotten and Nancy quietly places Paul Pelosi into Sunny Acres so he stops embarrassing her with his sordid antics. But no. No, they had to try to hang this incident around our necks. And they are so used to having the assistance of social media in hiding unapproved narratives – like the demonstrably true Hunter Biden laptop revelations – that they assumed no one would be able to raise any questions about their Big Lie. Except for not only did Elon Musk buy Twitter but he also pushed back when Felonia Milhous von Pantsuit – herself a seasoned pro at cleaning up the sexual shenanigans of her hornier half – joined the “MAGA people did it!” chorus.

The regime media is in full effect now, acting as janitors for their political masters in the Democrat Party. According to these hacks, the refusal to believe the ridiculous idea that this was some sort of Republican-inspired assault is “misinformation” and a “conspiracy theory,” which is a neat trick since it involves not believing something. 

Oh, and we are informed that refusing to accept the ridiculous official story is also “celebrating” the attack. You are “making fun of the attack” unless you sit there and allow yourself to be slandered.

Well, we are not playing that. 

A lot of Republicans early on responded kindly and with horror at Pelosi’s serious injuries while decrying violence of any kind. This was in stark contrast to either the total Democratic blackout regarding condolences and repudiations of violence, such as when the Democrat ran over the Republican young man in North Dakota and when the Marco Rubio canvasser was attacked in Florida, or the libs’ giddy celebration of the attack on Rand Paul. One of the Paul celebrants was Cheryl Pelosi, who tweeted: “Rand Paul’s neighbor was right.” And what did Republicans get back for their charity and class regarding the assault? They got the Big Lie that they were responsible for it.

And now the left is crying because we refuse to hang our collective conservative head in shame for what the evidence appears to show was the unhappy consequence of Paul Pelosi’s personal lifestyle choices. His actions were his business right up until the moment his wife’s pals and their pet regime media decided to blame us for them. Then they became our business, and defending ourselves against the Democrat Big Lie became our right and responsibility.

The fact is that the Official Approved Narrative™ is laughable, and that the opinion of most people looking at the evidence, and lack of it, is that this was likely some sort of tryst gone wrong. Can we know that to a metaphysical certitude? No, but the fact we have not seen the video or heard directly from the cops on the scene to clear up any misconceptions indicates that there probably are not any misconceptions to clear up. Guys tussling in their undies at oh dark thirty does not usually just sort of happen.

The ruling caste is hard at work trying to force us to sit there and take their abuse without complaint. They call us names, but we don’t care what they say. And if they don’t want us pushing back, they should not push us first.

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