Nation Unsure Whether To Support Party That Runs Brain-Damaged Candidates Or Party That Loses To Brain-Damaged Candidates

Via The Babylon Bee

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U.S. — Americans are doing lots of soul-searching after the midterms. According to reports, many are not sure if they want to be the kind of people who support a party running brain-damaged politicians or a party that loses to brain-damaged politicians.

“I mean, clearly the stroke victim is unfit for office, but if you can’t beat him then doesn’t that make you unfit for office?” wondered undecided voter Carl Weaver to himself as he saw election results. “And what kind of a party would dare run someone like that? Or dare lose to someone like that? Have they no shame?”

According to Google, searches have spiked since the election for things like “competent, coherent politicians in my state” as well as “what party runs candidates without mental handicaps, while simultaneously being more appealing than someone with a mental handicap?” So far, search results have come back empty, except for those users who live in Florida.

At publishing time, Carl decided he would just take option 3 and vote Independent, but he soon realized that all those candidates are both brain-damaged and unable to beat brain-damaged candidates.

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17 Comments
Iska Waran
Iska Waran
November 9, 2022 5:36 pm

If you like winning, be a democrat. Whenever a race is close – the proverbial “coin toss” – they use a two-headed coin.

Ooze the other one
Ooze the other one
  Iska Waran
November 9, 2022 5:53 pm

The Cook Islands issued (issues?) a “Three-Headed Coin”
comment image

Anonymous
Anonymous
November 9, 2022 5:59 pm

“many of Us are not sure if they want to be the kind of people who support a party running brain-damaged politicians or a party that loses to brain-damaged politicians.”

Said Carl Weaver ,

“But sooner or later, IF I VOTE Harder? Well, the SKY is the limit!”

Aunt Nan from San Fran
Aunt Nan from San Fran
  Anonymous
November 9, 2022 10:37 pm

Just vote NASDP (North American Socialist Democratic Party) and you will never feel your vote was wasted, you will feel like a winner from now until the end of days

Anonymous
Anonymous
November 9, 2022 6:02 pm

Oh, The Anguish!

If ONLY the turkey from Turkey Delaware had trumped ‘Feckless’.

bucknp
bucknp
  Anonymous
November 9, 2022 10:27 pm

Speaking of turkeys. I’ve not given it much thought for Thanksgiving 2022.

Turkey shortage possible for Thanksgiving: Buy early, think local

Only local turkey here is the wild Eastern Turkey yet “legally” out of season until spring when one can “legally” kill a Tom. I normally see 6-8 of them but lately…

B_MC
B_MC
November 9, 2022 6:13 pm

Another Stolen Election

The CNN exit polls show substantial erosion of the Democrat voting base since the 2018 election. How can such substantial erosion be consistent with the lack of any significant Republican gain on Tuesday?…

Now, ask yourself, what is worse, a stolen US election or an American electorate so insouciant and out to lunch that they would keep a political party in office that is leading us into war with Russia and China, that hates white people and persecutes them, that has politicized the FBI and Department of Justice turning them into Gestapo agencies serving Democrat power, that fervently believes that parents are bad for children and should have no say in their education (brainwashing), that is demonizing normality and normalizing perversity, that . . . I could go on and on. Here was a chance for voters to register their dissent, and according to the vote results they failed to do so. If the vote count is honest, then the conclusion is that we must write off the American people as beings too stupid to survive as a free people.

This is why I much prefer to believe that the election was again stolen.

Another Stolen Election

Anonymous
Anonymous
  B_MC
November 10, 2022 5:32 am

Both sides won the “election”:

Balkanized Future: Midterms Deliver Victories For Both Free State Americans and Security State Americans

B_MC
B_MC
November 9, 2022 6:23 pm

John Fetterman’s Radical Marxist Wife Is the REAL Play They’re Making for the Senate

But John Fetterman is just a placeholder. The real person they intend to make Senator is his wife. Gisele Barreto Fetterman is the ultimate representation of the worst parts of the Democrat Party. She came into this nation as an illegal alien, a “Dreamer” before such a term was coined by the Obama regime. She got her green card, became a citizen, and married John Fetterman.

Since then, her entire career has been built around woke activism and race-targeted philanthropy. She has built a resume that people like Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez or Ilhan Omar could only dream of having.

https://jdrucker.substack.com/p/john-fettermans-radical-marxist-wife#details

Machinist
Machinist
  B_MC
November 9, 2022 8:11 pm

She’s a Lula fan. Lula, another south american dictator in the cast of Castro. There are a lot of poisonous snakes way below our border, and quite a few here, too.

Iska Waran
Iska Waran
November 9, 2022 9:14 pm

According to Real Clear Politics, there are 39 House races that are still up in the air. The Dems have to win 30 of those 39 to retain control of the House. There’s no doubt in my mind they’ll accomplish it.

Anonymous
Anonymous
November 9, 2022 9:19 pm

The important metric is that 95% of the winners are owned by AIPAC Probably true for the losers, too..

overthecliff
overthecliff
November 9, 2022 11:53 pm

The Bee has stopped satire and is publishing real news.

Junious Ricardo Stanton
Junious Ricardo Stanton
November 10, 2022 12:03 am

The US is a Kakistocracy (a nation ruled by the least capable, lease ethical strata of society [psychopaths]) we are seeing the truth and evidence of this more and more every day as the empire collapses on every level: social, moral, economic and political.

Rabbi Herschel Liebowitz-Bergblatstein
Rabbi Herschel Liebowitz-Bergblatstein
  Junious Ricardo Stanton
November 10, 2022 1:38 am

You people just can’t stop with the anti-Semitism, can you?

bucknp
bucknp
  Rabbi Herschel Liebowitz-Bergblatstein
December 3, 2022 10:19 am

I’m surprised you people have not caused great physical harm to this man. You people have succeeded however in attempting to create great mental anguish as done for many years by barring the man’s writings from media sources because he is not a “Stand With Israel” type.

https://chuckbaldwinlive.com/Articles/tabid/109/ID/4315/They-Dont-Call-Israel-The-Third-Rail-Of-Politics-For-Nothing.aspx