You’re on death row. What is your last meal request?
ME?
Appetizer: Mushroom Bruschetta
Soup: Cream of Crab
Salad: Iceberg Wedge
Entree’: Prime Rib with horseradish sauce, fingerling potatoes, asparagus and butter…lots and lots of butter
Desert: This is a tough one for me but, I’ll go with banana cream pie
Cordial: Irish Coffee
DEAD ME:
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I doubt I’d eat a damn thing, but if forced, rib steak and scallops.
Howzabout fricasee of whole squirrel, flavored with smoked pine needles?
I’ll settle for Hot Chic Fricasee instead.
https://www.youtube.com/@LilRedHeidiHood/videos
EW.
liver with some fava beans and a nice Chianti
Nice reference to Dr. Lector.
Fauxi’s liver.
Feed it to the beagles.
I have actually put a lot of thought into this for some reason.
Will respond in detail later when I have more time.
Thumbs up on the wedge salad. 👍
Ok, gonna keep it simple, because Lord knows I don’t want to BORE little m. 🙄
Junk food. All kinds. Why? Because I rarely eat it, but I love it and it smells SOOOO good when others eat it around me. Burgers, fries (lots of ketchup), tacos, pizza, chips & salsa…and on, and on, and on…
Don’t have a sweet tooth, so I’m fine with no dessert.
ummm I thought you said you wanted junk food??
Oh, sorry, is that the menu for your new health plan? New year, new you??
Well, makes sense. Up is down, and down is up these days.
Sorry to offend the rabbits in the room but actually most of this is healthy and all things in moderation. The burgers even can have rabbit grits on them as well so you’d be part way onto a healthy diet..
We make ALL homemade and none of that shyte you buy at stores or greasy joints. Pizza is a fav to, olives, mushrooms, dried tomatos, peperoni, ground beef, the works. Burritos are another fav, nothing unhealthy about them rabbit.
Ok, you’re talking homemade versions. That is fine. But, the question was what I would choose for the LAST meal of my life.
I’m talking about from those greasy fast food joints – Whataburger, Taco Bueno, Papa John’s Pizza (do you have these in Canada?)
ahh ok, and ours here in canukistan are way beyond those you listed. We go for top quality like rot’n ronnies, a&w , taco bell, timmies, boston pizza, all primo top quality fakest grease evaaa
and no even as a last meal I wouldn’t eat that shit, it’ll kill ya
Food snob!
I’m with you Brian. Most of the information out there about food is total bullshit. People are getting healthy on all meat diets. I have a very mixed diet, and I feel better than ever at 64. I ate on some Prime rib last week, and added italian sausage and green peppers on Baguette bread. In Chicago, it’s called a combo. Balance is the key. I also keep way from the processed garbage.
Seed oils are poison
Causes inflamation esp. those having O.A. I stick to avocado oil for stir fry and lite pan frying. extra virgin olive oil for salads.
It’s the menu for the fat girl in the underwear ad.
Sweet tooth syndrome: inherited from both parents (dessert after dinners, and liked ice cream, fudge). They lived thru the great depression and both world wars.
I’d like a bowl of quaaludes.
This might be the best idea.
Let me be the first nostalgic overgrown infant to say teen pussy wrapped in Catholic plaid. Go ahead and pretend to virtue-signal downvote in faux disgust, faggots. The deity sees your true heart.
If that’s not available on death row (and why would it be), I plead cruel and unusual punishment.
Instead of what I want, gimme organic free-range chicken legs, carrot, cabbage, onion, sage, pink Himalayan salt, black pepper, onions simmered together, and black-eyed peas – all organic ingredients – and a four-pack of Kentucky Bourbon Barrel Ale and a fifth of Buffalo Trace.
Oh, and let me hold Li’l Anthony Fauci on my lap, when they flip the switch.
Best we can do is some Ukie healing salt and you holding fraudi when the switch’n is commence’n
” teen pussy wrapped in Catholic plaid.”
Ahhh. BEFORE they have a mustache. Why not the recently featured Miss Russia, anna linnikova? (don’t tell anybody, but i felt compelled to see who she was). AND, she’s LEGAL in all 57 States!
Was the ‘hottest’ pic of her, IMHO, incidentally.
My gut feel is if the authorities ever got hold of your computer that you’d be going to jail for a long time.
How many pics of “teen pussy” on your computer? Hundreds?
You’re kind of fucked up in the head. NTTAWWT.
I meant being young again and having that again – either both of us underage (like we were at the time), or maybe my being 22 and her being 19 or something like that. Come on, man. I’m old enough to be a young grandpa to a college sophomore.
Stucky, The last person I would want to talk to if I was going to die would be a man.
I agree with Anon, and I have no pictures on my computer and couldn’t get it up unless I had a spinal injury and had a priapism.
No drugs work, I just get severe heartburn from them.
Just lighten up, it is all just thinking about your last night alive. There is just something about talking to and listening to a female voice.
Oh, OK.
But, not me. I won’t be thinking of “teen pussy”. What a shallow idea!! I’m 99.99% sure I’ll be thinking of God and family.
yeah, you’ll be asking god to forgive you 4 all the times you’ve thought about pussy —
GNL during his last meal.
Pinky up Glock ! 🙂
That was a fancy meal I posted? I was expecting some real high cotton responses but noooooooooooooo, all we get so far are junk food and teenage girls (hat tip btw).
I like your menu. A couple of changes: real Caesar salad with anchovies. I’m not big on sweets so I would add scallops or lobster and make it surf and turf.
” real Caesar salad”
Raw Eggs?, You do know what’s for Supper.
You got a problem with raw eggs?
“problem with raw eggs?”
ONLY if they are pasteurized.
Those changes are acceptable. 🙂
Please note my choice for a meal!
McDonalds, but only if it’s delivered by Uber.
But it has Covid propaganda on the box. Think DUDE. Get some Taco Bell instead.
Guilty pleasure: Grilled cheese sandwich. Wonder bread, white American cheese, mayo, buttered so much that it runs down your hands as you eat it. Add a glass of a local IPA. I pulled wood just thinking about it.
Mayo on a grilled cheese? I like mayo but…not on any hot food. Ever see Undercover Brother? It’s got some pretty funny scenes. Just in case, two undercover agents who are supposed to be working against each other in this scene.
It’s my last meal, Mary. No reason to be health or taste conscience at that point.
You can have whatever you want for your last meal. I just don’t get mayo on a grilled cheese. First time I have ever heard anyone adding that to a perfectly good sandwich. Sometimes I put mustard and dill pickles. To each his own😉
This is a thread about food, not whatever that stuff you mentioned is.
Bullshit. The man asked about a meal.
Well, it does resemble a taco, so . . .
plus, fuck all you self-appointed hall monitors with your arbitrary rules.
Gimme that teen fish taco.
Mayo on grilled cheese. Yes, absolutely. Maybe even some sliced onion or tomato. But definitely mayo. Real mayo. Dukes mayo. None of the “salad dressing” stuff.
And a big bowl of tomato bisque soup.
Seriously…apparently the author has a sense of humor, the penal system food service isn’t accommodating in the least…it’s the lowest bidder that provides the meals.
Just like the lowest bidder gets the bridge contract.
Stupidest poll of the week is absolutely deserved!
Some suggestions to top it in the future:
-what is the last thought that goes through your mind before you kill yourself?
-if you had the power to kill just by your thought, who’d you off?
1: I wonder if the Earth is round?
2: Pythagoras.
Just WHAT could be ‘Fun’ about thinking about Your LAST Supper in this World, while on Death Row? Really none of my business, but what reason prompted “I have actually put a lot of thought into this”?
Gotta be a word for that?
Call it what you want, but I think about a lot of different scenarios and paths my life could take. I think about certain consequences for certain actions.
You don’t??? Maybe there’s something wrong with you.
And, thinking about your last meal *is* kind of fun. It’s where you imagine eating the things you probably rarely get to have. Kinda like thinking what you would do with the money if you won the lottery. It’s just play.
And, as a Christian, dying is not something that I fear or dread. If I were ever on Death Row, it’s because I did a moral crime…something that needed to be done, but will have harsh consequences. I’ll let God sort out my actions when I get there.
That’s right, Paul stuck his neck out proudly, and Nero raged for hours at why Paul did not fear death.
The 6th Commandment.
Hopefully, enough time has passed that only You will ‘see’ This, having clicked the ‘Notify’ bell thingy…Or ‘Others’ scrolling through by happenstance.
‘This’ article is ‘Ancient History’, now, from a practical standpoint.
“You don’t??? Maybe there’s something wrong with you.”
🤣 As stated previously, Formerly had reams of documentation attesting to the fact that i’m ‘Normal/OK’ by commonly accepted metrics.
“Insanely Funny!” You called me. Please. In My unrepentant youth? (22+ yrs. ago) You would be an EZ ‘mark’ in person, and You wouldn’t EVEN realize it until it was too late. Maybe.
Egocentric, occasionally, to this day, but i’m trying to shed that. Hope and Pray that sincerity is read into this missive.
“You can ask my wife” if You ever listen to John Boy & Billy.
Took me purt near (previously) 20 yrs. to get her to say “I Do”. AND, We Shook Hands on it. Done till death do Us part, hope and Pray to die of Old Age in Our sleep. Together. Together aside, in Your sleep of old age is about the BEST one can Hope/Pray for.
“It’s where you imagine eating the things you probably rarely get to have.”
WHY would You torture Yourself? Clearly, There is valid/sound/ “The Science!” advice about not eating swine/Other ‘Unclean’, but i can’t currently imagine Sunday Morn. WITHOUT Bacon, Ham Sandwiches…Too many things Pig.
Might just be rationalization, Cop-out, Etc., But Much ground to cover before a concern, personally.
ONLY not quite 2yrs. since i read, irrefutably, 14 (7 Pair) of ‘Clean’ loaded on The Ark. One pair ‘unclean’. Way i read it.
Just eat it, whatever it is. All kinda speculatin’, but You can’t get to Heaven that way, The Laws!, The Laws!, or by ‘Works’ IMHO. Can only speak for myself, And even though the ‘7 Deadly’ are only mentioned per se in The Bible, Gluttony is a real danger, All Around. Excelled @ the other 6 as well. Doin’ MUCH Better, Thank You.
But ONE Unpardonable Sin in the overall scheme of things?
Matthew 12:31 for example.
For the sake of brevity, SURE You can look it up.
WHEN Jesus Comes? Proof of concept.
1 Thessalonians 4:16-17
King James Version
16 For the Lord himself shall descend from heaven with a shout, with the voice of the archangel, and with the trump of God: and the dead in Christ shall rise first:
17 Then we which are alive and remain shall be caught up together with them in the clouds, to meet the Lord in the air: and so shall we ever be with the Lord.
Also, mention of “The Dead Know Nothing”, or something like that, somewhere in the same Collection/Books/Bible. ‘Simplistic’? Maybe. But the thought of those who came before me ‘Seeing’ what i have done was NEVER very Comforting. From a practical standpoint? NOT very ‘Heavenly’. At All. For Loved Ones to have ‘witnessed’.
WHEN You are ‘Awakened’? IF ya don’t hear…
16 For the Lord himself shall descend from heaven with a shout, with the voice of the archangel, and with the trump of God:
Your time is Nearly Up. Forever. ‘Poof!’ in some fashion. Nevermore. Done. Eternally.
In Retrospect, The Bible?
MOST logical and concise (Fair amount of effort, ongoing here) Tome i’ve EVER read(ing).
Unsure, but You must be comparatively Young…” but I think about a lot of different scenarios and paths my life could take.”…
i wish You the best in finding Your ‘Equal’, IF not yet realized.
Again, i can ONLY speak for myself. But i DEFINITELY got the “Better Half” of the deal.
And i’m EXTREMELY Grateful, Thankful, and PRAY in gratitude. On a continuing basis.
“If I were ever on Death Row, it’s because I did a moral crime…something that needed to be done,”
Do NOT believe ‘Self/Near;Dear’ DEFENSE applies to the 6th. MORE than willing to take my chances. WILL do everything possible to avoid. NO desire to be a He-Man Tough Guy, ‘Waste’ too much $ feedin’ The Animules That i would still eat with no compunction as it is.
Just saw a Mink Sunday morning. Nearly doubled in size since last spotted, almost a year ago, (extremely rare to see them in the daylight) on the crick bank that i mistook for the semi-feral ‘Guard Cat’ (long Story) that my Wife seems intent upon Adopting.
i’m NOT too swift sometimes…rampant speculation based on a Litter Box/Scooper & Litter, Various foodstuffs, Toys, Etc., (and Bowls of food/water/milk scattered about) that She thinks She has hidden in ‘Her’ Bldg./Shelves. Had She not SO Completely rearranged the stuff on the shelf front? NEVER would have ‘Noticed’. (Please. Do NOT tell Her, i’m in fear for my life on a regular basis as it is!) The various bowls were ‘discovered’ once i realized just what was afoot.
Came home earlier than anticipated, Again, 🤣 (Old Story) just Mon. and it was sitting on her lap in the living room, purring so loud ya could Hear it 15′ away.
“Don’t know HOW it got in Baby, Thought I would just pet it for a minute” And She put it outside.
HAD to turn away, go out a different door myself, before i started laughing too hard. i let it in that morning.
She KNOWS Who wears the pants in THIS Double-Wide.
AND SO DO i. That’s why She is the Boss.
(NEVER Knew that i was ‘allergic’ to animals until i got out on my own, A multitude of exposure all my life. Finally adopted a stray myself. Pussy has been the BANE of my existence. Some homemade boric acid eyewash, some ‘play’, good to go in no time).
The Silly thing comes like a dog when i call the animules for Breakfast, Been Wrasslin’ with it to build up immunity for a few days.
5’1″+, VERY intimidating.
Good with the Backhoe/Rifle/Pistol/Throwing Knives & Hatchets, Etc. Never much interest in Archery though. Kinda ‘Girly’ sometimes, Cant pull #70 and she is handicapped ta boot. Right eye Dominant. Maybe She will be sportin’ about and give a warning shot, when she has had ‘Enough’, VERY
PassionateCompassionate, and bows are comparatively silent.However, if i see anything in Amazon® ‘History’ About Poison Dart Frogs from down South? Cause for concern for sure. She can hit a Foam-bodied Slip Bobber swingin’ on a string at 25′ fairly consistently.
She also makes a VERY Savory Groundhog, as You may recall.
In Closing, (For Real)
Read The Featured Articles ‘Here’ For years, but NEVER the Reply’s. my loss, ‘Amazing’, to say the least.
No idea, your ‘Life Experiences’. ‘But ‘The Grid’ is more our Friend than Our Enemy.
The REAL FUN has not even yet begun.
As i said before, You hold Your own well. No need to reply or waste any ire on me, if i poorly worded something.
Thanks For taking the time to read this heartfelt response if You should happen to see it/do so.
Sounds ‘Corny’, maybe. May Peace be with You…Moving on, me.
Ok, you’ve convinced me. You’re normal. 😉
I appreciate your reply. Have a good day.
Oh Annie! Thanks AA, I’m not “confused” anymore. ♥♥♥
Ok, if you say so…
Don’t worry tomorrow I gotta go back to class. They’re working on a new dress code for teachers. 🙁 Gonna prance in my pumps while I still can.
Ok honestly, I’m gonna show them how to saw in stiletto’s.
-Should I use BMW Hellrot Red Polish to blend in with any mishaps?
I’m sure you will be accepted with open arms. Good luck…stilettos take practice…
Yeah, that’s right AA. Thank you.
You.
P. D. Ouspensky once wrote a novel where one of the characters (a devil) was discussing the last thoughts of a suicide. Invariably it was along the line of “OH NO! What have I done to myself! I have wasted my life!” The devil claimed that it was the sweetest, most delicious thing that any devil could ever hear.
Don’t plan on EVER being on Death Row. Limited plausible/possible scenarios. It will have been a home cooked one. Or @ least eaten there.
Not real big on the idea of re-education camps. Either.
I suspect that if any of the readers of TBP ever end up on death row, there will be no last meal. It will more likely just be a ride in a truck, get out, stand by the trench.
No last meal.
Yep, once government figures out who the fuck you are and not a difficult task who u is. (u = one is)
A chocolate cake with a hacksaw in it.
Never ending salad bar for the win ! But you might shit yourself to death which is the same as execution only messier.
🤣
Epitaph?
“Here lies the Infamous Salad Shooter”
!!!
I’m thinking since I would actually be innocent having been framed to the max I’d figure out some food items guaranteed to turn and churn the stomach like never before and vomit and shit all over those executioners on the way to the gallows.
Very good Glock. The mushrooms would have to be wild Alaska butter Boletes. The soup would have to have king or snow crab.. The pie, coconut cream or keylime, and heiferweisen from Glacier Brewhouse. But I could also go with my wife’s pot stickers or won ton, and Chinese style cooked ling cod and or even red Salmon.
Not bad choices. I approve.
An ear of Silver Queen sweet corn with melted butter and fleur de sel.
ONLY GMO permitted. No Salt For You! Are Your boosters up to date?
Could delay things.
How could anyone even have a last meal knowing they were going to kill you the next morning?
What was it that gave Michael Douglas throat cancer? – I’ll have some of that.
If it was anything like Deep Throat and Michael gone gay (maybe the truth, I don’t know) you might want to retract that comment.
Easy choice
Slow roasted venison back strap
Mashed potatoes with a brown gravy
Sauteed fresh Chanterelle mushrooms with a touch of garlic
Apple pie with vanilla ice cream.
Then you can roll me out of the room.
Thank you for playing. Very nice.
No time limit? Then 10,000,000,000 pistachios.
You have a well developed palate. I will have precisely what you ordered.
If you like mushrooms, you will LOVE the mushroom Bruschetta.
I’ve had it and it is very good.
My ex-wife’s sardine/cream cheese casserole.
Death would be a welcome relief.
Holy shit, kill me now.
No way. That looks like someone took a whiff of the sardines and puked up their last meal.
I’m dyin 🤣
That’s disgusting.
Now we’re talking.
I like kipper snacks, Polar brand says actual “seafood” canned in Germany, the smoked herring. It would not be a last meal request. Off topic, sort of, I bought a can of sardines recently because the particular grocery chain did not carry Polar Kipper Snacks. That’s unheard of and again beside the point while the sardines were discarded as one small bite I thought I was eating chalk.
Lahge cheesesteak Boston style, fried Ipswich clams, a lobstah roll, key lime pie and a coke in a glass bottle.
Brandon’s heart on a plate and The former speakers blood ( all of it ) for gravy.
Blood? Gross.
Who cares what the last meal is? I just want to be sure that I get my vaxx and boosters before they execute me. Can’t be too careful! /s
(I am reminded of something I read where a man was undergoing “assisted suicide” but they wouldn’t kill him unless he took the vaxx. No. I am NOT kidding.)
Your execution could’ve been worse without the vax.
What the heck landed me on death row?…. but spicy Tex Mex with a couple large margaritas
We see neo, that you were leaving messages on The Burning Platform, a criminal offense.
Tex Mex & margaritas??
Oh yeah, baby.
Spaghettios, right from the can. YUM!
I grew up on Spaghettios.
I love those heated over coals held with copper coat hanger or similar .
Fried calamari, cold antipasto salad and veal marsala from Momma Lombardis on Furrows Road in Holbrook NY.
Death row? In that case, I’ll have 2 fresh brontosaurus eggs and some Mars water.
But seriously… pain White Castles no cheese.
Grilled crickets will go well with those.
French Onion Soup made with beef broth and melted Gruyere.
Filet Mignon seared between rare and medium rare.
Baby Bella mushrooms sautéed in butter, garlic and merlot.
Russet potatoes sliced lengthwise in 8 wedges and smothered in garlic butter and fresh Parmesan (not sawdust in a can) and roasted in the oven.
Asparagus in butter.
Two squares of my homemade dark chocolate peppermint bark.
A shot of strong espresso.
A half pint of Jagermeister.
Very nice menu. I’d have to make some slight changes, but overall this is very good.
If you ever make it to Texas, let’s go enjoy a decent meal together. Deal?
Haha Abby. I’m guessing it’s the rare and the Jager? Sure. If I ever make it to TX or you make it to the Shitcongocago (please avoid if you can) I’m game.
Watched a 1952 black and white movie on antenna TV with Clark Gable called Lone Star.
Lone Star
Very nice.
Paul Prudhomme’s rabbit with piquant sauce. Sweet potatoes, cornbread and multiple Belvedere martinis on the rocks with jalapeño stuffed olives for a green vegetable. Pecan pie for desert.
Fugu. All of it.
a multi ethnic buffet with a separate dessert table–
i will eat so much that i will either be in a stupor such as after a thanksgiving dinner or it will turn into liquid gold that i will let go at an opportune time —
I’ll start with an appetizer of stuffed passenger pigeon and a entry of roast DoDo bird.
Iceberg wedge? Seriously? Give me a plate of fried oysters or a slice of NY pizza.
The hearts of my enemies.
Nothing for me, I’m doing intermittent fasting, so…..
I would skip first two items and ask for spring water (Fiji brand) also skip last two items replace with Ben and Jerry’s vanilla pint.