WALTHAM, MA — Transgender visibility took yet another step forward today as Raytheon unveiled its new Patriot missile endorsed by transgender TikTok personality Dylan Mulvaney. President Biden immediately celebrated this new line of missiles, hailing it as a leap forward in lethal diversity.
“It’s got this Dylan fella’s face all over it,” President Biden said in short remarks before he made several attempts to board Air Force One and depart for an Easter holiday weekend. “Not only is this missile an advanced and deadly tool in our arsenal, but it’s also a symbol of everything the U.S. military has become. Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!”
The missile features a trans flag and Mulvaney’s image along with sparkling glitter and speakers to blast Lady Gaga songs as it soars through the sky toward its intended target. Upon impact, the missile is also designed to explode in an enormous mushroom cloud of pink confetti as it inflicts mass death and destruction. “This really is a perfect combination of modern warfare and fabulous transgender pride,” said a Raytheon spokesperson. “And that’s what we’re all about here at Raytheon.”
U.S. Military officials were hoping this would be the first of many Dylan Mulvaney-themed weaponry projects in the future, including pink Humvees, ICBMs, and machine guns that have had their barrels surgically removed.
At publishing time, rumors were already spreading that Russian President Vladimir Putin was ready to surrender after it was revealed Dylan Mulvaney would personally deliver the first batch of missiles to the Russia-Ukraine region.
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Anybody remember the Monty Python game show “Shoot The Puff?”
I expected it to be ribbed.
Or raised pleasure dots, for her greater explosion?
For his or her pleasure lol?
I don’t even know if this real or a joke…welcome to Clown World!
The Babylon Bee – parody site (but becoming less of one with every passing day).
Yes, Babylon Bee is the new normal.
why is this ordnance not shaped like a butt plug? Or at least BBC dildo?
The Pentagram needs to up its gayme.
It’s so… phallic.
Raybucks is very expensive as well……..this thing better work.
General Milley was quoted as saying he had hoped it would be bigger…
Sometimes they just take it back. As Anonymous Conservative says….
And Cabal’s money returns to the source:
Yo,
I would not doubt it.
1000% Arch — you nailed it
You rarely see anyone that pretty or rich throwing it all away because they are terrified of continuing life as a woman. I guess in Hollywood, getting attention really is more important than everything.
I half glanced at this BB article and thought it was real life.
Hopefully all the competent men, women and children who died in the name of our empire can find peace knowing we have effectively devoured ourselves out of existence.
Why does everyone think we will go out with a bang?
It seems to me that it is more likely that China will enforce a mandatory transgender neutering program onto our women and let nature take its course.