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It is my sincere desire to provide readers of this site with the best unbiased information available, and a forum where it can be discussed openly, as our Founders intended. But it is not easy nor inexpensive to do so, especially when those who wish to prevent us from making the truth known, attack us without mercy on all fronts on a daily basis. So each time you visit the site, I would ask that you consider the value that you receive and have received from The Burning Platform and the community of which you are a vital part. I can't do it all alone, and I need your help and support to keep it alive. Please consider contributing an amount commensurate to the value that you receive from this site and community, or even by becoming a sustaining supporter through periodic contributions. [Burning Platform LLC - PO Box 1520 Kulpsville, PA 19443] or Paypal
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Spring has sprung, I should be out changing to summer tires and enjoying the near summer-like temps in sunshine without clouds, but…
. . . with Friday Fail just having posted, it ain’t gonna happen today.
Let the laughs and start of weekend-madness begin!
Spring has sprung ,
Da grass is grown,
Where has all the boidies flown.
Oh, der they is,
Up in the sky.
Dropping whitewash in my eye.
Boy, … I’m glad dat cows don’t fly.
PPhhtt Idioooot. Everybody knows Bob Dylan wasn’t a drummer, he’s a bassist
Still dreaming of Peewee Herman starring as Nelson Mandela. “Shhh, Dottie, I’m listening to reason. No way! Knock it off! Cut it out! Good morning, Mr. Breakfast. I have a dream, but tell me why I’m here first. ” The script practically writes itself.
The famous men shot in the head:
Abraham “Tyrant” Lincoln
John F. Kennedy
The dude sitting in front of Pee Wee at the porn theatre.
*anything
I’d rather see him choke on it.
This isn’t quite accurate. You don’t have to buy us anything but you sure as hell better bake us a huge chocolate cake.
My ONLY FIRM rule is my birthday is private. We celebrate it, not your friends, not my friends, not my coworkers. Just me and you. And yep, I want cake and gifts.
Sometimes you just got to happy this shit up, amirite?
Let me know when the sign reads C UNT R U S.
More like he’s drinking Bud Lite… He takes it in the can.
Gives “Pounding a tall boy” a whole new meaning.
I can attest that in HEB today the Bud Light was fully stocked.
“What we have here, is a lack of communication!” – Strother Martin, Cool Hand Luke
Wasn’t it, “What we’ve got here is failure to communicate?”
yes
Yep, great movie.
But with a strong Southern accent.
Loved that scene.
I saw it as soon as I sat back down. You are 100% correct.
Trigger warning: This webpage is occupied almost exclusively by horrible white patriarchs, you know the very people who—with the minor exception of having invented nearly everything useful and having created most of the world’s beautiful art, music, and literature–have inflicted nothing but violence on this planet. Here, our society’s most important people—BIPOC are LGBTQ—encounter verbal violence that, in a just society, would mean immediate execution. Friday Fail is so full of triggers, hate speech, micro-insults, and micro-invalidation, it’s a wonder all the safe spaces in the nation aren’t overflowing.
Four examples will amply illustrate what I mean. Prepare yourself mentally to be disconcerted, dismayed, disheartened, disquieted, distressed, disturbed, and dis plain fucked up. Before plunging forward you should get yourself to a safe space with your favourite cuddly blankey and colouring book.
Example 1: “If you think blacks deserve reparations, by all means put your money where your mouth is and give the leeches everything you have; just leave us the hell out of it. Whites have paid blacks trillions in welfare over the last several decades, and all we got in return was the ruination of many of our finest cities. If anyone’s due reparations it’s whites.”
Example 2: “If you have your very own pronoun, bully for you, and feel free to share it with us so we can laugh and tell you to fuck off. Guess what, asshole; the world doesn’t revolve around you.”
Example 3: “The evidence for climate change is non-existent. That powerful politicians and corporations are pedalling this, with the bought-and-paid-for journalists supporting them, is all the proof we should need that this is ultimately about power and money, and it ranks as probably the greatest scientific scandal of all time!”
Example 4: “Buttigieg argues that more black people die from car accidents than whites therefore racism must be involved, especially since roads are racist. We say it’s more likely related to blacks’ inability to walk past a car without stealing it and speeding recklessly down Nigger Street.”
I’m sorry to subject you to this, but I needed to warn you what you face if you visit Friday Fail. After decompressing, I suggest you write to the advertisers on this site and demand they pull their sponsorship; like the pussies at Bud Light they’ll cater to your every whim. Also doxing this Bob P character is of the utmost importance.
The “P” is for penis, ain’t it?
Friday gotcha!
P, as in prick? you probably wouldn’t know but Bob is reading this and is proud of himself!
Well said. And “dis plain fucked up” is truly a new word I will use many times! Awesome!
I am a hiring manager and I recently had a resume submitted with “personal Pronouns”. It is obvious to me this person is deeply versed in the style and mores of contemporary identity politics and most likely to be “offended” and make life miserable at the office. I ash canned the resume.
Fuck’m
I’m filing a complaint with EEOC on Monday.
And my pronouns are only It, This, and That. What’s the problem?
I would venture just a few well placed keywords will prevent the worst applicants from even applying.
Or perhaps, wearing a pin that says “Pureblood” or “Vaccine Free”…
Maybe even, a real large US flag prominently displayed would keep the worst out.
Or just keep acting like you can’t hear them.
Keep making them repeat themselves…
Or repeated outbursts of loud guttural coughing?
No wait, I got it. A ding ding ding ding
Monty Python Silly job interview:
I liked Monty Python. I used to listen to the Goon Show on a radio skip from England back in the day. Lived on the east coast of North America. I am that old.
Bob, you got me thinking on your mention of reparations. I truly believe that all women owe “reparations” to all us males! this world has been messed up ever since Eve ate the apple in the Garden of Eden. I want my reparations!
Bob, I treasure your weekend diatribes.
Please link your other literary works, I would like to read them. You have a knack for language.
Amazon makes it difficult to offer books for free, but Smashwords has no such limitation. I usually make all my books free during Smashwords sale periods, and I sometimes make a note of it on FF. I offer a few free most other weeks. Slight problem with Smashwords, though. Sometimes on some browsers clicking on a Smashwords link returns “403 forbidden”; no idea why, maybe too many subversive books that the deep state wants blocked? If it happens just try another browser.
https://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/rdpower
Umm..while I mostly agree with you, I’m only half white and a woman. With an actual uterus.
whaddya mean “only”? no problems here, enjoy life no matter what and take no monkeys!
Four very fine and honest examples of why I come here every weekend. Bob P for President!
Bob, is Canadian and not a citizen and can’t be POTUS. wait a minute, well nevermind. BobP for President!
Serves you right. Your garden path is racist.
Indeed, any sign of civilization is racist….because white people built civilization.
Don’t take any credit for racism so don’t try to give me credit for “civilization”!
Well let’s withhold judgment here just a moment: What was he growing on that path?
I suspect it wasn’t daisies.
I think the problem is science and society protect people from their own stupidity, so the stupid multiply.
idiocracy documented this
Lead the masses of people out onto the farthest reaches of the branches.
Then head back toward the trunk,
and cut off the branch.
“The branch that is not producing shall be cut off….”
Survival pro tip: stay away from the end of the branch.
I’d say stay away from the masses of people.
seems the stupid people may not understand science or society so much but they sure understand money and power. they get money and they get the power and then use both against the rest of us! they are super happy and the working class suffer and struggle to get by while the elites do all they can to get richer/more powerful while knocking down others.
This, from “The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy”, explains it all.
The Golgafrinchans were a race of humanoid beings who split their population into three distinct groups. Arthur Dent and Ford Prefect materialised inside Ark Fleet Ship B, where they met the Golgafrinchan Captain and later lived with the other middlemen for a short period of time on pre-historic Earth. The Golgafrinchans were later revealed to be the true ancestors of humans, instead of apes. They sent off their middle-class persons; telephone sanitizers, hairdressers, jingle writers, accountants etc., who either weren’t extremely rich or didn’t do any sort of real work at all.
Never, they got rid of them.
Yes they will. Just not the one you live in soiboi.
FF Poll of the week:
Jack Teixeira acted on his own = thumb up
The leaks are part of some larger deep state shenanigans = thumb down
I voted up because it’s Friday FAIL.
some retired high position military men said there was no way Teixeira was in a position to access those documents. some mention of a high ranking Navy friend? maybe a plant?
I am not going to detail why I think it is possible he did, but as of 12-18 years ago, I think it was possible. I still don’t believe it, I am just saying it was possible.
How about Carrot Top starring as Nelson Mandela?
Or Adam Sandler as MLK.
Negropatra is not real
Well she looks a little bit better than the original. Cleopatra had a kinda manly look, I always thought that was strange.
Wait, you mean this isn’t how she looked? Hollywood LIED to me again.
Tried to find a nice cleavage shot for Friday.
LOL! Not the movie… the real person. She is WAY better looking than both!
Liz was the high-water mark of Hollywood glamour and allure.
She was a beautiful woman.
yep, that cleavage turned Richard Burton into an alcoholic?
Cleoblacktra.
“My cousin caught cleoblacktra from a ho.”
Keep yo mama offa da street, an’ dat won’t happen.
Sick sh*t is it not?
Or more to the point: Why do we pay any attention to idiots preaching inclusivity?
We have become so “civilized” that we cannot bear to be called names. We need thicker skin, and a willingness to loudly call out “BULL SHIT!” when we hear it.
Also, we have forgotten one of the most practical uses for lamp posts.
To them, you are always included as long as you think the same way they do.
I’m a tolerant liberal. Agree with me or else…..you filthy racist, sexist, misoginistic, homophobic, Islamophobic, xenophobic, redneck, inbred bible thumping, gun toting, america loving bigot. ….and any other -obes, -ists or -ics I’ll think up as soon as I stop frothing at the mouth.
you definitely left out the current rage……….transphobic = and better known as(fear of trannies) or in actuality, having no use for men who think/want to be women and take away the women’s rights and advantages over us males. totally mental ill and so are their supporters and enablers!
I am and still would be broke. better if you ask my wife?
again, would like to upvote more than once
I enjoy drinking beer.
Re BBC… today he caved and removed Government funded labeling to the leftoid MSM and even our stupid CBC(Constantly Broadcasting Crap)
this real genius watched his super expensive rocket take off and then explode and remarked that it was a great launch and they would learn from their mistakes? sure ain’t signing up to get on one of his space flights, even if I win the lottery and can afford it!
So far the cancer tests failed. Lets try injecting billions and kill them instead.
My mama drinked wisky wen I was in her tummy and nufins rong wif me.
How about sticking a pair of scissors in the back of his head and then being ripped from limb to limb. Does he deserve that?
PP treats unborn children like chop shops treat cars … worth more in parts than as a whole …
Does he deserve that?
After careful consideration…
Yes.
So, is what you’re telling me is that pregnant women who drink and smoke have breech babies?
they also have a corkscrew penis and actually screw into the cervix and then dump a LITER of semen
I must be doing something wrong. Usually she just squeals a little bit and then runs away.
Why would anyone need to adopt a stepchild? Isn’t he/she already your child by marriage?
(Bob P; ruining touching moments since 1955.)
NOPE. So long as you don’t adopt her, original dad is on the hook for child support to 18. As you have ZERO blood connection, the worthless lawyers and the “system” want their enormous pound of flesh to the tune of many, many thousands of dollars in order to process an adoption.
once worked with a man who was divorced. his wife remarried and the new husband wanted to “adopt” the two sons so to avoid child support my friend consented. a few years later the wife divorced the new husband and remarried my friend and then they were collecting child support from the “adopted” father? my friend sure loved telling that story and collecting the money!
Sounds to me like your friend and his wife deserve each other. If I were him, I’d sleep with one eye open.
well, not really a friend but working crew member. don’t thing he ever worried about sleep, he just drank until he passed out for the night.
I bet that dude can do a LOT of kush ups!
Needs a mast and sail and he can go mobile in style.
I have a friend with dementia who will say he has done that at least twice.
They left out the feminine hygiene products. Otherwise flawless!
Missed blue hair dye, too.
Actually found a five spot on the park bench this week. Still lookin’ for the owner.
My next move’s to the liquor store.
If I see the owner drop it, I’m giving it back. Otherwise finders keepers.
That’s what a rabbi judge in Seattle courts used to teach elementary school children … but it’s actually the opposite of the law in almost all jurisdictions …
I lost my wallet in Dublin on Easter Sunday and it was sent to my embassy in Germany with all the money in it.
The one at the corner of Nigger St. and Coon Ave.? A favorite for sure.
Well, is it US currency or something that is worth fifty cents?
The IRS is the largest armed enforcement agency. And it is total lies that they audit mostly millionaires. The millionaires have lawyers that take care of that stuff and the IRS would prefer not to spend the money on going after them. By far, it is the middle class that they audit and STEAL money from.
Why are so many meme artists blurring the word “fuck?” What’s the world coming to?
Some sites scan the meme for words they do not like.
Everything to do with sex is blurry these days. Haven’t you noticed?
Keep it up and you’ll go completely blind.
Except for using school time for encouraging the mutilation of the sex organs of children before those parts even mature.
and except for purple hair teachers insisting in telling children everyday all about their sex ideology and perversions with who and what instead of say.. . i dont’ know MATH. READING .
’cause it’s stunning and brave…. don’t ya know
All of my teachers first names were either Mr. Mrs. or Miss
Everything to do with sex is blurry these days.
Hell, I thought that was just my vision…
Well I ain’t lettin’ no sign tell me what to do!
Time and tide….
I’m wearing my Fruit of the Loom blue cotton briefs. They’ve withstood a dozen years of heavy farting, and I swear by them.
heavyfarting.vigorous farting.
Anytime you’re referring to bodily functions below the belt line, the word you want to insert is “vigorous” or “vigorously”.
It’s more manly if not more dignified.
And “heavy” could possibly refer to the weight of the “fart” and nobody wants that.
Because the definition of “surprise” is a fart with a lump in it.
AKA “shart”
Liked the post from a mom last week “Mommy- my fart is on the floor”.
And then there are the electric farts.
The ones with a little juice in them.
Imagine what they look like without the makeup and electronic enhancements.
and the silicone!
On the right girl silicone looks great!
Imagine what stirs in their brains when they wipe off their makeup every night and realize that they are just fake and feel they need their warpaint to make people appreciate and notice them.
what? you mean a “conscience”? haha, good luck with that? a famous woman once said; “the ends justify the means”!
Started with Eve.
I got married long before online dating. After the divorce, I gave it a try. It was like shooting fish in a barrel, just way more expensive.
Rub it all over my udders, you hunk of bull, you. (I should write cow porn.)
Bob, no doubt you would corner the market on that!
*Vodka Snort*
Have some staying power, man. Never give up giving up! (I should write pep talks.)
you are a great writer and we enjoy your wild diatribes but maybe you would do better forgetting pep talks and stick to cow porn?
If I were a cop I’d move to Donut, Massachusetts.
They are in Canton, MA. Good luck with that trip through blue states
If I was the mayor, I would only hire women to be on the force?
Yeah 911?
My wife made me a ham sandwich and didn’t apply sufficient mustard.
Could you send over a couple officers to set her straight.
Located in Cape Cod. Yeah I thought that was funny too. Until I meet Bourne, Falmouth and Mashpee
If Nancy Pelosi, Diane Feinstein, and Lori Lightfoot were pancakes.
What do you mean “IF”?
Instead of mule fritters.
Note the date at bottom right…
A dozen years later it is worth jack . . . Jack Shit.
The sentiment is always correct. It is the timing that is nearly impossible to accurately predict.
Back in 1969 the Gummint took all the thousand dollar bills out of circulation. The biggest bill available was the hundred, and that is still the case. So, how much value has the dollar lost in the meantime? A hundred dollars TODAY will only buy the equivalent of $11.96 from 1969. Yep. If you had $100 in 1969 and tucked it away in a box, you lost over 88% of it’s value. And the bad news? That 88% is based on the lying inflation figures that the Gummint tells us. A more honest valuation would probably only leave you $4 or $5.
Yeah, but that’s $4.42 in US dollars.
Because the WEF King is not allowed to openly say “FUCK YOU” to the British people.
Best. Explanation. Ever.
Sociopathic power addicts never tell you to do the things you want to do. Why? Because ordering someone to do what is in their own interest is not an expression of power. Power, REAL POWER, is the ability to command people to do something they would NEVER choose to do. POWER is the ability to make someone do something painful, distasteful, humiliating, impoverishing, and morally repugnant.
That is why laws, edicts and mandates are always, ALWAYS enforced at the point of a gun. Comply or be killed. Laws are not meant to be productive or beneficial. They are meant to be punishment for the innocent. That is POWER!
Huh. I wonder if my commenting on FF while sipping on whisky at 11:10 in the morning will radically change the future?
Nah…
You’ve been doing that for so long we’d know if that happened by now.
If folks know, it might inspire more drinking. Pardon me, but I’m getting thirsty.
In the UK currently, they have enforcement teams to go after people that mean post that can be reported by any random karens.
Like the me-too liars on steroids
Well, it’s like economists trying to model the economy. Leave out what’s really important because it’s too hard to measure.
Don’t you mean too unacceptable to measure?
Economists are accountants. Ask an account what does 2+2 equal. They will answer: What do you want it to equal?
recently learned it can only equal 4 if you are white. like everything else it’s racist.
Words of wisdom-If your accountant doesn’t have a bit of larceny in his heart, you need a new accountant.
anytime you develop a system of equations, a linear system (as in a matrix ) the key is to only change one variable at a time while holding the environment in which the system is tested constant. This way you can see the impact of a small “shock” to one of the variables on the rest. This is very common in econometrics, but any area that will have several variables dynamically acting upon each other. Due to this interaction, it is essential to hold all constant but one to see how the interaction will carry out with each. The fact no one knows this and uses this to preach ‘flat-earth’ shows just how far our math and science has fallen in this country. This used to be extremely common up until the mid 90’s in most AP calc courses. Probably shouldnt even get into eigenvalues.
Yep. If that description supposedly “proves” that NASA endorses a flat-earth, then it also means NASA endorses free energy. After all, “constant mass” means it must not be burning fuel.
I was an amateur astronomer for decades. Trust me. It’s round.
That may be … but you’ll be hungry again in an hour …
Read the same anecdote earlier this week. The end of the story was: “She didn’t jump. See, counseling works.”