Hunter Biden Indicted For Not Paying Taxes On His Bribes

Via The Babylon Bee

U.S. — Hunter Biden is being charged on 9 counts of evading taxes on his international bribery schemes, according to an indictment filed in Los Angeles on Thursday.

“The President’s son made millions on foreign bribes and used the money for illegal drugs and underage sex trafficking. That’s all well and good, but then he failed to pay his taxes,” said a spokesperson for the DOJ. “Keeping money that is due to the government is the most heinous of all crimes and should be dealt with swiftly and without mercy.”

Official sources confirmed that Hunter became wealthy by exchanging national secrets and special favors to America’s enemies in exchange for crack and underage sex-slave money, in addition to wiring money to President Joe Biden. Unfortunately, he did this without keeping perfect tax records, making him the lowest of criminals.

“Rest assured, this horrific act will not go without a slight fine and scolding from the judge,” said Attorney General Merrick Garland. “This man must be brought to justice.”

At publishing time, President Biden had claimed to have no knowledge of the case or of this man named “Hunter.”

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13 Comments
Anonymous
Anonymous
December 8, 2023 7:13 pm

Hunter Capone gets charged for not coughing up what the government thinks is it’s cut of his corruption/payoffs.

Tex
Tex
  Anonymous
December 8, 2023 9:55 pm

So now he will contend with the bungholers. I can think or other “lesser than evil” “honest” men that absolutely deserve the same.

Anonymous
Anonymous
  Tex
December 9, 2023 1:12 pm

He will never see the inside of a jail.
How dare you even infer such.

WJC
WJC
  Anonymous
December 9, 2023 11:09 pm

If he were smart he’d bring out that video of his sister and her old man in the shower.

Barry mcCockiner
Barry mcCockiner
  Anonymous
December 9, 2023 12:20 pm

Make no mistake….

The USSA will have (((it’s))), AKA yours, pound of flesh…

Pay up, or else!!!

LOL…but not really…

The Duke of New York
The Duke of New York
December 8, 2023 7:20 pm

Total limited hangout, charges for the taxes on the bribes, but no charges for taking the bribes and peddling influence (or for any of the myriad federal crimes he himself has not only admitted to but documented himself, in texts, pics and videos)

In California?
In California?
December 8, 2023 8:04 pm

MUST be Snuff Videos, Featuring Minors, and copious amounts of Adrenochrome/Crystal Meth/Crack/Etc.

Fret Not. NEVER gonna see the Light of Day.

Now.

Aunt Acid
Aunt Acid
December 8, 2023 10:20 pm

Wait…what? Not the Bee?

Jdog
Jdog
December 8, 2023 10:33 pm

Does anyone doubt at this point the US is 100% Kleptocracy? The next time someone tries to tell you we are a Democracy, correct them and tell them what we really are…

kleptocracy: noun
1. “government by those who seek chiefly status and personal gain at the expense of the governed.”
2. “a government or state in which those in power exploit national resources and steal; rule by a thief or thieves.”

Ed
Ed
  Jdog
December 9, 2023 8:34 am

Democracy has the same definition.

Anonymous
Anonymous
December 9, 2023 7:37 am

Is it just me, or do you have to read who wrote the article after you read the headline too?

MrLiberty
MrLiberty
December 9, 2023 12:21 pm

Not exactly sure why this is from the BEE. It is 100% accurate, though the media and the IRS won’t ever use these terms.

Walter
Walter
December 9, 2023 1:58 pm

Oh how exciting it all is! One of the feathers on the left wing is going to get pulled a little! Not pulled out, that would be cruel, just pulled on a little. No matter. Very exciting. Justice! Oh, never mind.