DARWIN AWARD WINNER

Via Yahoo News

A man has died in a freak accident after a knife attached to a lanyard around his neck is thought to have played a part in his death.

Patrick Kenney died in a freak accident on Saturday night (GoFundMe)

Patrick Kenney Jr, 42, was found dead on Saturday night outside a restaurant in Saugus, Massachusetts, while he was attending a birthday party at the Kowloon restaurant, his family told local outlets.

It is reported that the man had a knife attached to a lanyard around his neck when he was found, according to a source close to the investigation who told NBC Boston.

It is unclear what the purpose of the knife was or why Mr Kenney was wearing it around his neck.

However, local news station Boston25 reported that a law enforcement source told them that Mr Kenney’s death was allegedly caused by a “knife necklace” rather than a knife attached to a lanyard.

The source also claims that Mr Kenney accidentally tripped in the parking lot as he was walking to a bus to get back home after the party, which caused him to injure himself with the knife.

The Independent has contacted the Essex County District Attorney’s Office for further clarification.

The family of Mr Kenney also spoke to the outlet and said that his death was a freak accident, something that the Essex County District Attorney’s Office also believes, as there was no evidence that anyone else was involved.

Mr Kenney was found at the scene with a knife wound after 9pm and died a short time later in Massachusetts General Hospital in Boston, District Attorney Paul F Tucker’s office said in a statement on Sunday.

The incident occurred outside the iconic Kowloon restaurant (Google Maps)

The incident occurred outside the iconic Kowloon restaurant (Google Maps)

Mr Kenney’s family issued a statement saying, “Our family is mourning the loss of Patrick, focused on his wife Lauren and two young children, and trying to make sense of this horrific tragedy. Patrick was a loving father and husband, brother, son and loyal friend to many.”

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32 Comments
foot in the forest
foot in the forest
  Administrator
December 12, 2023 12:14 pm

I am still laughing. Just astounding.

Anonymous
Anonymous
  foot in the forest
December 13, 2023 1:50 am

Was his name Joe?

Aunt Acid
Aunt Acid
  Administrator
December 12, 2023 6:50 pm

weel man of jeenyuss

Anonymous
Anonymous
  Administrator
December 12, 2023 6:53 pm

Private Gump “In China, they got real high IQs”

Anonymous
Anonymous
  Anonymous
December 12, 2023 8:25 pm
Anonymous
Anonymous
  Anonymous
December 13, 2023 1:52 am

I’ll bet she sued the pee-wank out of Macy’s.

Anonymous
Anonymous
  Anonymous
December 13, 2023 1:51 am

Neat trick for next Jan. 6.

Anonypolka
Anonypolka
December 12, 2023 12:01 pm

Good thing he wasn’t wearing the hand grenade cufflinks!

WDS
WDS
December 12, 2023 12:13 pm

Holy sh*t, the Kowloon is still open?

Ben Lurken
Ben Lurken
  WDS
December 12, 2023 12:55 pm

Been there many dozens of times. The owners announced about a year ago they were winding it down. Closing, I think next year.

WDS
WDS
  Ben Lurken
December 13, 2023 12:58 pm

I think I got a couple of their stirrers in this mess somewhere…..

comment image

And yes, that’s a real Playboy Club stirrer from when they were open in Beantown.

James
James
December 12, 2023 12:31 pm

“It is unclear what the purpose of the knife was or why Mr Kenney was wearing it around his neck.”

Simple actually,I also have a neck knife that is not metal,a final weapon if needed and also goes thru security detectors.

Mine has a sheath and needs a good pull to release.

Anonamo
Anonamo
  James
December 13, 2023 2:07 am

A number of manufacturers also make steel neck knives. I’ve seen them in videos from outdoorsy and survivalist types who seem to find it handy to have a small knife hanging around their neck. But neck knives usually come with sturdy sheaths to prevent that whole “trip over a tree root and stab yourself to death” problem. Not sure why someone would think to wear one to go to a birthday dinner. Just put granddad’s old pen knife folder in your pocket, and call it good.

Anonymous
Anonymous
December 12, 2023 12:46 pm

No dice. The West takes the Darwin Award, for having had more than a century of warning, and committing suicide, anyway.

Anonymous
Anonymous
  Anonymous
December 12, 2023 1:21 pm

It’s a murder, not a suicide, unless admitting a significant number of Jews into one’s country can be considered suicide.

Lucretius
Lucretius
December 12, 2023 1:39 pm

HEY, YOU, out of the gene pool!

Peace, L.

Anonymous
Anonymous
  Administrator
December 12, 2023 7:36 pm

FAFO

Cricket
Cricket
December 12, 2023 2:22 pm

It would be nice if someone posted a picture of said knife necklace. Are we talking about a bunch of scalpel blades woven together to make a necklace, a spring assisted knife on a chain that accidentally deployed, or something else?

Inquiring minds want to know. 🤔

Anonymous
Anonymous
  Cricket
December 12, 2023 7:37 pm

Dark minds want to market it to kids.

hardscrabble farmer
hardscrabble farmer
  Cricket
December 13, 2023 8:25 am

I wear one around my neck but it fits in a friction sheath and it’s never come out on its own.

Hard to understand the configuration of this guys knife/sheath/necklace and just how strange a fall he must have taken to kill himself, but that’s their story and their sticking to it.

formerly anonymous
formerly anonymous
December 12, 2023 4:05 pm

A couple of years ago in my neighborhood, some druggie got killed trying to pry the air bag out of a car , it went off and shoved the screwdriver he was using right into his carotid artery. Too bad, so sad.

James
James
  formerly anonymous
December 12, 2023 4:31 pm

That’s fucking epic!

Too bad there was not a camera in car to catch that,could watch for hours on end howling with amusement!

comment image

Yes,I am a bit twisted!

Anonymous
Anonymous
  formerly anonymous
December 12, 2023 8:20 pm

Epitaph “He Died At Work”

Gaping sphincter
Gaping sphincter
December 12, 2023 5:13 pm

Too bad Captain Poopy Pants Caesar if New Rome on the Potomac couldn’t fall on his sword

Anonymous
Anonymous
December 12, 2023 6:45 pm

Looks more like a Rodriguez than a Kenney.

Anonymous
Anonymous
  Anonymous
December 13, 2023 1:56 am

Prolly a history teacher.

Will the Scot
Will the Scot
December 12, 2023 8:07 pm

Remember kids… Drinking and walking don’t mix.

Anonymous
Anonymous
December 12, 2023 8:35 pm

Ten more Derwins:

zappalives
zappalives
December 13, 2023 6:01 am

Boo-hoo………..one democrat down………maybe more to go.

Little Mouse in the Corner
Little Mouse in the Corner
December 13, 2023 3:32 pm

Should saved this one for Friday Fail. Maybe we can get the pictures by then.

Dumb dumb, dumb dumb, dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb (see South Park Mormon episode for the tune.)