Bad Apostle! Bad! (ALERT! … Babylon Bee)
VATICAN CITY — The Catholic Church announced this week Pope Francis has excommunicated the Apostle Paul over the latter’s outdated views on women, families, and social issues.
“We regret to announce Saint Paul is no longer a member of the Catholic Church,” a statement from The Vatican reads. “Paul’s problematic teachings on so-called traditional families and women have no place in modern Catholicism.”
The move comes after Pope Francis openly condemned Paul for his biblical statements on the importance of gender roles and traditional marriage.
“We regret we placed this deeply misogynistic and homophobic man on a pedestal for 2,000 years,” said Francis to reporters. “Forbidding women from preaching, condemning homosexuality, telling women to be chaste, modest, and quiet in church? I’m literally shaking just thinking about it. Paul’s continued defiance of modern Catholic sensibilities will no longer be allowed.”
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At publishing time, the Pope had announced an additional inquiry against Saint Peter on the Apostle’s continued insistence that people repent of their sins.
Thanks for the laugh, Babylon Bee!
We all know there is only one more escalation possible, after that…
When will that zany “Vicar of Rome” come out of the closet and proudly declare he sucks cock ?
During the “holy” Christmas mass would be a swell time.
niggercock. FIFY
I think the saying is “behind every joke there’s a hint of truth”. More than a hint in this case of the heretic antipope.
Why… I’M A-PAULED!!!
You got me! I saw the title, read the first paragraph and completely missed the byline. 🤣🤣🤣 Was ready to read some lively comments!
The Bee has gotten that prescient—next week this will be a real story.
They were about to excommunicate Paul…
when right after a HUGE flash of lightning, Paul’s name was instantly changed to Raul, and he began preaching about eternal gardening.
and, the rest of the story: Hunter Biden was immediately named as Paul’s replacement, largely due to his frequent employ of strippers, prostitutes, and pole dancers; a man who knows the value of a good woman.
Is that in Stan 3:18?
Lol
I missed the byline too and must be getting so used to brazenly revealing actions and absurdity by organizations of authority I casually took the whole thing as true at first.
ackshually, saul basically told people to not get married unless they just couldn’t help themselves
Better call Saul also commanded to pay the extortion.
Everyone can make $98 or more in a month. I am a full-time college student$$
Everybody copy & open now……..𝐆𝐞𝐭.𝐒𝐚𝐥𝐚𝐫𝐲𝟒𝟗.𝐜𝐨𝐦
who works 3 to 4 hours every day on this job and earns thousands of dollars per month
Pope gives Saul a reach around.
Fucking idiot cat lickers.